Credit to Brievel for the prompt! The combination of prompt and characters had me smiling, but it was only a few minutes ago that I felt I could do it at least a smidge of justice. So here it is. Please enjoy!

"'Death Star' is unoriginal. And inaccurate. The machine resembles a moon more than a star. If Tarkin wants to be so ridiculously simple, he should at least appear educated. 'Death Moon' would still be dimwitted, but at least he wouldn't be misleading the rebels. Must be quite the reassurance to picture a massive death machine with the intimidating presence of a fiery, explosive star and then have a run-in with something still massive, but impressively dull." Vader paused his rant and uncrossed his arms long enough to gesture towards Tarkin's monstrosity hovering in the distance. "Look at it, master. It has all of the luster of a rusted gonk droid."

The Emperor resisted the urge to blast his apprentice with a brief round of lightening and instead muttered yet another curse at the recently-deceased Kenobi. Even after death, the man's confounded legacy was still haunting him through Vader's unfortunate past as the Skywalker whelp.

"I agree," Vader responded, apparently having heard the quiet mutter. "The man was a fool and a pest and I'm glad he is dead, but he did have an impressive knack for creativity and manipulation. He knew how to play his enemies. Tarkin, on the other hand, obviously has no clue what he's doing."

"Lord Vader," Sidious ground out, "your diatribe is an unnecessary waste of breath. The machine is built, it is named, Tarkin is doing a fine job with it, and that is that. It does your own reputation a disservice to insult the man who is credited for creating our most powerful weapon."

Vader's gears picked up their whirring, a sign that the younger Sith was growing increasingly agitated. And offended. Sidious was, he hated to admit, caught off guard by how quickly the man's wrath had been aroused by something as insignificant as a name. He watched as Vader seethed silently. Maybe his apprentice was done. Maybe he realized how immature he was being over the whole thing –

"Director Krennic deserves the credit, as does the engineer who betrayed us. Tarkin did nothing. As to our most powerful weapon? Master, with respect, that's a load of poodoo."

Sidious opened his mouth to verbally skin Vader to the bone, but the fathomless black stare that suddenly turned his way made him pause. Was this… fear? No. Impossible. Vader was a tool. His tool. He would not be intimidated in the least. "You tread dangerously, my apprentice."

The mask had no expression and never would, but the distorted rasp that sounded from it was clearly angry. "The Force is our ally. Next to that, the ability to destroy a planet is nothing. Child's play. Worth forgetting. Tarkin and his toy can play their petty games. Meanwhile, we will bring peace through real power. Power that no one can deny."

He had a point. Sidious had to grant him that. But still. "Agreed, but do not talk back to me again. As to Tarkin, if the weapon does not matter, then why pay it so much attention? Leave the matter be."

"I will not."

And cue more talking back. How in the galaxy had Kenobi managed to survive for so long?

The emperor's arms were above his head and his hands flung out in exasperation before he realized what he'd done. "Oh for the love of… WHY?! Why will you not let the matter drop?"

"Because it's just that: a matter. It matters. Like it or not my reputation, and yours, are both attached to that disgrace of a weapon and so it should at least resemble our own considerable powers in both presence and name."

Unbelievable. Sidious suddenly wished the Death Star no longer existed. He began to pace and rub at his knuckles just to stave off the itch to destroy something. "Do you have any suggestions?" he hissed.

Now Vader hesitated. "Suggestions? For a name?"

Sidious stopped. If Vader was implying what he thought he was, so help the fool… "Apprentice, if you are arguing the merits of its name, then you better have a suitable replacement in mind. Otherwise you have wasted my time."

Vader turned to face him directly. "It's a powerful tool. It needs no name. If you want it to have a fearsome reputation, then don't attach a name to it as if it needs help putting fear into the hearts of the rebels. The fact that it kills planets is enough. They've had demonstrations. Calling it the 'Death Star' is unnecessary finger pointing."

The emperor's fingers twitched, emitting a few sparks. Vader seemed unaffected. Sidious turned away and headed for the exit. "Complain all you want. It shall remain the 'Death Star' and that's the end of it. If you insist on ranting about it, do it outside of my presence."

"It won't last the cycle."

Sidious stopped. "Pardon?"

"There's a glitch. There always is with something of that scale." The emperor heard the smirk beneath the mask. "Basic rule of engineering."

"Perfection is a basic rule of engineering. Again, this discussion is closed."

"You sound like him."

"You're truly testing my patience, Lord Vader."

"Now you really sound like him."

Sidious sighed. "Like who?"

Vader's wheezy breath sounded from behind him. "I hated his guts, but he's dead now. You, on the other hand, tread dangerously, my master."

Sidious turned and blasted him with both hands. Lightning arched between them, sizzling, frying, and draining the life from Vader's robotic limbs. But when he finally left, the emperor couldn't help but shudder once he was out of Vader's line of sight.

His apprentice was a smoking mess on the floor, and yet the monstrosity of a man had been laughing. Sidious was only left to wonder why.

So... I was shooting for humor laced with something slightly unhinged. The characters are also a bit OOC, but oh well. Certain situations call for it, hehe.