Hello! As I write this story, I have been creating and listening to a playlist of songs that help me get in this (rather bleak) mood. I'm going to post some of the songs on my page a little later today, if anybody is interested in knowing what kind of music inspires this story. The song that I listened to for a lot of this chapter was "My Skin," by Natalie Merchant.
Anyway, as always, enjoy this chapter!
~Ra1n
Previously...
"I will never forgive you for this."
Arthur smirked sadly, but said nothing.
He had a fake execution to organize.
Sunlight flashed rapidly across Merlin's face as they ran by the windows. It cast long shadows from Merlin's dark lashes across his hollow cheekbones, and Arthur needed to look away. He looked too much like death.
The hall that lead to Gaius's chambers was dim as he entered it. The windows had been blacked out on the day of Merlin's supposed death, and anybody who had attempted to remove the fabric had been met with a snarling Gwaine and a sad-eyed Percival.
"You son of a bitch! He was your friend!" Gwaine growled, throwing a handful of black fabric onto Arthur's desk. Arthur calmly brushed it aside.
"It has been two weeks, Sir Gwaine. People are having trouble finding Gaius's chambers." He hoped Percival, standing a few feet behind Gwaine, would see sense. But Percival was standing still, silently watching the two of them. Arthur cleared his throat.
"You must take it down eventually. Which is why I asked a few of the servants to begin the process for you."
"I don't need anybody to help me mourn."
"The man you are mourning never existed. We have been over this before. I allowed you to hang up your silly grief blankets, but enough is enough. It is time to move on. He is gone."
Throughout the speech, Arthur didn't bother to look up from his desk. He continued to sign papers, the wad of cloth teetering near his elbow. Gwaine was trembling with rage, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. Percival put a large hand on Gwaine's shoulder, stopping a physical confrontation before one began.
Gwaine's hands relaxed slightly, and Percival began steering him towards the door. Gwaine hesitated long enough to snatch the fabric off of the table.
"Ten days."
Arthur looked up. "What?"
Gwaine let out a breath. "Ten days. Merlin's been gone for ten days. Not two weeks." He leaned in the doorway. "You can at least remember the date."
The next morning, Arthur found that the fabric had been replaced.
Now, the fabric was ripped in a few places, casting fractured shadows across the walls and floor. Arthur took comfort in the darkness. At least with so little light, he couldn't distinguish between the crimson stains of blood and the red dye of the cloak. At least in the dark he couldn't see his own mistakes.
The door to the physician's chambers arrived far too fast and not fast enough. Arthur turned his body and jammed his shoulder into the old wood, knocking the door open without the use of his occupied hands. He spilled into the room gasping.
"Gaius…" He croaked, his voice getting caught between his labored breaths, "Gaius..."
Arthur hadn't set foot in the room since Merlin's arrest, and the chambers were darker than the hallway. The windows were covered in the same black fabric, but unlike the hallway, nobody had tried to take them down. There were no rips or holes to let the light in here, only a few candles dripping their wax onto the floors and tables.
"Gaius!" Arthur yelled when he finally managed to draw a breath deep enough to get the word out, "Gaius! I need your help! Please!"
Please, don't be gone. Please.
The sound of Arthur's breathing softened, and he was able to hear the crackling whir of Merlin's lungs fighting to open and close. The chambers were empty.
"Please," he whispered.
The door to Merlin's old room creaked softly, and a gravelly voice came from the darkness.
"Sire."
Arthur's head jerked up. A stooped shadow was emerging from the room, leaning on the wall for support.
"...You need something."
It wasn't stated as a question, but Arthur nearly collapsed in the middle of the room, his relief hit him so quickly. As it was, he barely managed to catch himself on his knees.
"Yes," he gasped, "Yes, yes. It's me. It's me, Gaius, I need-"
He stopped himself mid-sentence. He had been so worried about getting Merlin to help that he had entirely forgotten how Gaius might react once he got there.
"Gaius… I…" He looked at the man in his arms, now starting to shiver beneath the cloak. "I've made a horrible mistake."
The elderly physician stopped his shuffle towards the king. His eyes were expressionless, his voice the careful neutrality of concealed hatred.
"What have you done now?"
Arthur closed his eyes and raised his trembling arms. Gaius kept his gaze on Arthur for a moment longer before he looked at the body covered by the red cloak. A pale arm was dangling out of the tangle of fabric, the broken fingers stretched towards the floor. Blood oozed from the mutilated flesh where fingernails should have been.
"Please, Gaius... He needs your help."
Gaius moved closer.
"Who is he?"
Arthur shook his head. "Gaius-"
"Who is he, Arthur? What innocent boy have you harmed now?"
Arthur choked on a sob and shifted the weight in his arms. Gaius raised his hand and grasped a corner of the cloak.
"Please-" Arthur started, but he had no words to finish where he was going. He closed his eyes and Gaius lifted the cloak.
There was a bony shoulder in a discolored socket. A slender collarbone jutting above a gashed, infected chest. There was a long column of bruised throat, weighted down by a horrible, heavy collar, and-
Gaius made an inhuman noise. It came from low in his chest, a keening sob that caught itself in his throat and choked its way past his teeth. He stumbled back, grasping the edge of a table to hold himself up. The cloak fell back into place.
"Gaius, I-"
"Get...Get him to my table," Gaius forced out. Arthur didn't move. The world was crashing around him too quickly. "Now!"
Arthur scrambled up, the cloak falling away as he maneuvered the limp body onto the nearest table. Gaius pressed a hand to his mouth as Merlin's body was revealed, but quickly knocked the contents of the table onto the floor, making room for Merlin's long limbs.
Lying on the table, there seemed to be far too much empty space.
Gaius hesitated as he took in the full extent of the damage done to his ward's naked body. The hesitation only lasted a moment, however, before he pulled the neutral mask back on and reverted to physician mode. He clenched his jaw.
"Get out."
Arthur lifted his chin. "What?"
"I said get out." He was trying to keep his voice even, but it trembled all the same. "Leave me and fetch Gwen."
Arthur gaped. "But- Gaius. I'm- I'm already here, and-"
"And?"
"And… I just thought I could help."
"Oh, did you now? Because you have obviously been doing such a great job so far? Exactly how much more help are you going to inflict upon him before you're finished?"
Arthur shut his mouth. Gaius turned away. "That's what I thought. Go, Arthur."
"But I'm-"
"Go!" Gaius slammed his fist against the table and watched with stony eyes as Arthur jumped and fled.
He looked down at Merlin, and the physician mask slipped.
"Oh, my boy… What has he done to you?"