Chapter 10

Jane left ten minutes ago to get some tea after murmuring something about caffeine.

Teresa Lisbon didn't know what to think; her mind was running in circles.

He loves her.

His confession should have caused excitement in her but instead, she just felt panic.

Damm it.

She knew that Jane still was grieving his family as much as the day he'd lost them. His hatred for Red John had become part of him; it wasn't something that could be given up and definitely, it wasn't as easy as he made it seemed. He still wore the wedding ring that his wife put on his finger almost sixteen years ago.

Lisbon wished that Jane hadn't said anything. Before things hadn't been perfect, but it was better than this limbo that she was feeling.

The brunette started to feel self-conscious and tried to convert it hoping that he won't see it. God. She used to be stronger than this –nothing and no one used to pass her barriers- then Patrick Jane came into her life and everything changed.

Jane couldn't find a decent cup of black tea in the hospital cafeteria. The black tea left a bitter aftertaste but he wasn't expecting anything better, at least now he had caffeine in his system and space to think away from Lisbon's wide eyes.

Jane had to admit that he didn't know what to do next. Yes, he confessed his feelings and he didn't regret it yet. It made him feel lighter and calmer. Just a glimpse of a life that wasn't consumed by revenge and he found that could see an easier path for his future. That wasn't the trouble.

Lisbon was.

The consultant knew Teresa Lisbon– better than anyone else in the whole world– so he knew her standard modus operating for these situations: avoid and retreat until the issue disappeared.

So thirty-five minutes later when Jane went back to her room and found the team inside, he felt a wave of relief because he won't have to deal with awkward silences and uncomfortable looks at the moment.

Cho was standing next to her with a notepad in his hand taking her statement. Van Pelt was sitting on the chair where he'd spent the night, and Rigsby was by the end of her bed. Jane decided to stay in the doorway.

"...Then I felt a pinch on my arm and everything went black. After that, I woke up here. I don't remember anything else." Lisbon concluded looking at her second on command. Her voice was bland and Jane could see how much effort she was putting on hiding her vulnerability around the team.

Lisbon was a private person but she had been kidnapped by a serial killer, she was allowed to show some emotions. Sometimes Jane wished that she showed them rather than keep everything hidden away (hypocrite whispered a voice in his mind that sounded similar to Angela's).

Cho wrote everything on his notepad and put it in his pocket. "I'm so glad that you're ok, boss." Van Pelt said looking tearful. Lisbon smiled quickly accepting the sentiment. He knew that the senior agent hated all the attention but she was making a remarkable effort to hide it.

"Jane said that Red John left a letter. Do you have a copy with you?" She asked looking at Cho. Rigsby looked around the room uncomfortable and finally noticed his presence, the tall agent averted his eyes quickly after that.

Cho and Van Pelt exchanged looks hesitating about the idea of sharing the contents of the letter with their boss. Lisbon noticed the exchange and looked at them annoyed.

That was his cue. Jane decided to intervene before Lisbon could say all the colorful words that were probably running on her mind. "Cho, give her the copy that you have in your pocket." He said stepping forward. A flicker of annoyance crossed her face when she heard his words, clearly telling him that she didn't need his help.

"Here." Cho interrupted their stares giving her the copy. Lisbon immediately began to scan it. She gasped softly during her reading once. When the brunette finished, her eyes found his, Jane immediately noticed how scared she felt. He wanted to comfort her but the blond knew that his gesture won't be well-received especially with an audience.

"Okay," Her voice came out too high so she cleared her throat. "What do we have?" She questioned the team making emphasis on we. Lisbon was telling them that there was no possibility of them letting her out of the case.

"No one knew that Partridge was missing. He didn't have any close family members. Lived alone. He had the day off at the lab, no one noticed his disappearance. According to the first autopsy report he died from blood loss and the cuts that he suffered are consistent with Red John's pattern." Cho reported efficiently.

"What rules did you change, Jane?" Van Pelt questioned him referring to the letter, that was when the consultant noticed that Grace had been reading the copy of the letter while Cho talked about the case. Her eyes were scrutinizing him and Jane decided that it would be an appropriate time to share his findings with the team. He closed the room door and approached them.

"I have a list of five possible Red John suspects. Partridge was one of them." Jane stated and Lisbon looked at him surprised. Clearly, she wasn't expecting that he shared his Red John leads with the team. "Kira Tinsley, the woman that was hired by Red John to bug your desk Cho, told me that Red John had a tattoo on his left shoulder. Three dots."

"Wait a moment," Van Pelt said with furrowed eyebrows. "Partridge had a tattoo like that. I saw it by accident when the paramedics moved him because the sleeve of his shirt was ripped."

"What does it mean?" Rigsby asked looking confused. "Partridge obviously can't be Red John." Jane frowned analyzing the new piece of information.

"Maybe Tinsley lied?" Cho questioned but his voice suggested that he didn't believe it.

Jane immediately shook his head. "No, Tinsley knew that she was dying. She didn't have any reason to do so."

"Wait a moment," Lisbon said her eyes were jumping telling him that her mind was working. "Partridge said Tiger, Tiger. He was a member of the secret organization. Don't you think that could be related to it?"

He looked at her in the eyes excited by her theory. "It could be. They need to have a ritual of initiation besides the Tiger, Tiger. Something that doesn't leave a paper trail. You need to take a picture of the tattoo before Partridge's body disappears." Jane said looking at Cho.

After that, Cho received a call from Beltran, informing him that they had a new case. The team said goodbye and Cho promised to keep her informed about Partridge's case. She finally looked at him through her lashes. Lisbon obviously expected him to left with the team, sadly for her that wasn't happening soon. He resisted the need of sighing on resignation after being proven right. Of course, she would be reacted like that around him after his confession.

"What are you waiting for? Go." She said. He didn't like something in her tone, though he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was exactly.

"Oh, they can work without me for one day." He said sitting on the chair that Van Pelt had been sitting on before.

"Jane."

"Lisbon."

"I'm okay, you can go." She said putting on a front. Jane felt insulted. Did she really believe that he would buy that? The fake smile and tense posture. "You have things to figure out."

Jane was about to let her know that he didn't have any intention of going anywhere when the nurse from last night came in to check on Lisbon. She asked kindly the routine questions. Jane could see that the old woman had experience and her bedside manner for some reason remained him of Sophie.

He blinked caught by surprise. He hadn't thought of Sophie Miller in years. Then, he remembered his experience in the clinic, to be more exact his lack of memories of that time. He must have been under some heavy drugs.

"Jane, are you okay?" Lisbon asked pulling him out of his thoughts. The nurse already left the room and he didn't notice it. Lisbon's eyes were looking at him with concern and he smiled at her pleased that she put aside her awkwardness just to checked on him.

"Yes, dear." He answered smiling. She immediately blushed. "I will just make a phone call."

After his mysterious phone call, he came back to the room. During the first hour, she tried to make him go to help the team but it didn't work. Of course. Then she tried to discuss the secret organization and it worked, for a while. Jane told her that he gathered some files with suspicious cases and had a list of suspects from other units that could be associated with the organization. Lisbon looked at him surprised and a little afraid of finding out how many of her coworkers were possibly corrupted.

"What's the number?" She asked trying to sound calm but it came out flat and Jane noticed it.

"Well," He started softly. It was difficult for her to discover that no everybody who worked on the CBI was as righteous and justice as her unit was. "There were more than one hundred suspicious cases in the last two years and the name of thirty-eight agents kept popping out on those cases."

She was in shock. Thirty-eight agents? In only two years?" Her voice had a touch of hysteria. "What do you plan to do, Jane? Dismantle the whole CBI?"

And then Lisbon saw Jane's expression– the guilty on his eyes– and knew that she wasn't far off the mark. Her hands started to shake and she fought to kept the panic inside of her body.

It was too much.

Jane noticed her reaction and reached over the bed and took her left hand in his. His thumb rubbed slowly over the back of her hand comforting her.

"Man, they're letting anybody into the hospital these days," Ray said appearing through her door. Jane immediately let her hand go and stood up straight looking at Haffner with calculating eyes.

"Ray," Lisbon said uncomfortably by the prospect of his presence.

"Hey, Teresa." He said lightly. "Jane, what I'm not surprised that you are here. You're like Teresa's shadow." Haffner commented with heaviness in his tone.

"Ray. What are you doing here?" She asked before Jane could reply with something probably offensive.

"Well, I heard that my favorite CBI agent was laid up. I thought I'd stop by." Ray answered coming closer to her. She forced herself not to react but her body tensed when he stood by her side.

"Oh. Thanks."

"So what happened?"

"Oh, nothing. I— I scraped my knee." She lied. Badly. Jane rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. His eyes were focused on Ray.

"That's not what I hear. I hear you were this close to Red John. That's some scary stuff. You okay?"

"Fine. Yeah, it turns out Red John isn't so tough. You know, he barely laid a hand on me." Jane flinched softly, obviously upset about her choice of words.

"Good for you," Ray said with a smile, then his expression changed when he looked at Jane. "I thought that you said that you had the case in your pocket, Jane. Have you got a lead on Red John, parameters?"

Jane looked at him with cold eyes and Lisbon was sure that he was showing restraint just for her sake. "Can't say. Sorry. Why do you care?" The blond questioned him.

Haffner shrugged. "I don't care. I have clients who care. Visualize clients."

"Why do they care?" She asked cautiously.

Ray breathed sharply and chuckled. "You know, I figured this was how the conversation was going to go, but... I came anyway. You know why? I like you, Teresa. I really do. And one of these days, you and me— we'll have the time." Lisbon looked at the Visualize lawyer with wide eyes unsure of how to respond to such a statement.

However, Jane knew exactly what to said. "I wouldn't be so sure about it, Ray." The consultant responded calmly and to her shock, he took her hand resting over the bed covers.

Haffner held Jane's gaze just a little too long and there was a weird tension in the room. Ray furrowed his eyebrows and looked at her. He must have found something that he didn't like because he sighed and shook his head. "I see. Take care of yourself, Teresa."

Jane was quite satisfied once that Haffner left the room, he looked at her with a smug smile, and once that Lisbon realized what just happened, she moved her hand away.

"What the hell?" She asked with annoyance. Jane's behavior had been territorial. He only needed to pee on her. "What was that?"

Her anger disappeared when Jane took a step forward. His eyes were dark and he leveled his face until they were at the same level.

"I was making sure that Haffner understands the role that I play in your life now." He looked amused but his eyes betrayed his concern. He was unsure of her reaction.

Her eyes narrowed. "I'm not sure that I understand. It can't be that simple." She answered avoiding his eyes.

Nobody did denial better than her, Jane reflected.

He took her jaw making her face him again. "Why can't it be simple, Teresa?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" She asked feeling more and more like a deer in the headlights.

"Yes," Jane told her. Because he really had no idea what her objection was. Especially given that she hadn't mentioned a thing about not wanting him to be in love with her.

Lisbon averted her eyes. The agent knew that he won't like her answer but she also knew that he won't let it go.

"Because Red John is more important than me." She whispered taking the hand that was holding her jaw away. "It has always been more important than everything else, Jane."

He didn't answer immediately. The silence was heavy. "How long have you felt this way, Teresa?" he asked. His tone was quiet, but she could hear something beneath it.

Unsatisfied with her silence, the blond tried to see her face and he was surprised to find tears in her eyes that she wouldn't let fall. "Were you ever planning on telling me about it?" Jane asked quietly.

Lisbon shrugged at the same time that she took a slow breath. She really hated this kind of crap. "It wasn't going to change anything, Jane. You said it yourself from day one. Red John is yours and no one should stand in your way."

When she finally faced him again, she was surprised to find pain in his eyes. She shifted, uncomfortable with the intensity of his gaze.

"I was twisted up inside, Teresa. I tried to protect myself from having to feel anything again, from having to move on with my life or entertaining anything that might interfere with my revenge," he confessed. "But I need you so much. Being near you made me stop wishing I was dead, so I pushed away. I- I made you promises I couldn't keep and I hurt you. I know that, and I'm so sorry. And it made seemed an impulse to you but I'd thought about this for a while now. I won't regret it and I won't resend you because it is my decision." He took her hand again and faced her with his sea eyes. Lisbon wasn't sure that she was actually breathing, her heart was pounding so fast and she was incapable of pronouncing any word.

"I want to be with you. In every way, for as long as you'll let me. I love you, Teresa Lisbon. You are my priority now."

And with one swift movement, Jane pulled her to him and kissed her, his lips pressed softly against her own. Electricity jolted down to her toes. After the initial surprise, Lisbon found herself melting into his embrace. Their lips moved together in a dance. She felt drugged and dazed as he tangled his fingers in her hair and explored her mouth, unable to do anything but respond to his seduction. When they parted, she blinked surprised, and looked at him, he was smiling at her and his eyes were dilated sending chills through her spine.

They stayed in that way for a while, studying each other. The few times that Lisbon allowed herself to think about Jane in this way, she always imagined that he would be like this toward the woman that he fell in love with. Jane would use all his arsenal and woo the poor soul until she couldn't see straight, but Lisbon never imagined that it would be her, and she definitely never imagined that it would feel like this. So right. So good and so terrifying at the same time.

Jane was nervous because Lisbon had always treated him as a married man. They were colleagues, partners, close friends, but anything more was simply not to be considered. There was a clearly drawn line in the sand that she would not cross, would not even think about crossing and he just crossed it.

"I'll find your doctor to see if you can be released today, dear." He said softly. Lisbon who was too surprised to actually said something just nodded, he shook her hand softly and left her room.

In an attempt to regain control of his thoughts decided to focus on the task at hand: find Lisbon's doctor, but it was impossible not to think about the warmth of Lisbon's lips, the texture of her lips, her smell from close up, her silky hair between my fingers. He's always known that they were a natural fit; the way they worked together like clockwork, he never really had to instruct her on his preferences, she just knew.

But Jane certainly did not expect his reaction to the kiss: he felt more alive than he had in years, it was as if something that he had been containing for a long time had finally had came out of its hiding place and it had taken over him. And it was just one kiss. It felt exhilarating.

The blond had absolutely no idea of what he had done to deserve meeting her after what he had done to his family. He had never imagined being able to love anyone again after Angela, yet over the years and without meaning to, Lisbon had progressed from a colleague to a close friend to the most important person in his life and he'd fallen for her so gradually and naturally that he was in far too deep before he noticed it.

A small part of him realized early on that Lisbon was a dangerous distraction, that had been one of the main reasons why he started to spent more time in the attic –the pull of starting a new life with Lisbon overwhelmed his desire for pure revenge and created more guilt- he suspected that Angela and Charlotte would prefer this goal for him but he pushed Lisbon away in a failing attempt to remain focused.

But Lisbon had proved him wrong. All without trying. She stayed by his side for far too long until it became too much for her that when he discovered that he could actually lose her and he made his decision. He chose her. Now he just needed to kept his promise. Jane had the feeling that it would be more difficult once that reality settled down again and Red John made an appearance but he was determined to finally put this chapter of his life behind. Now he just needed a plan.

He took his cellphone and called Sophie Miller once more, but it went to her voicemail.

"So do you still think that Jane and Lisbon are like brother and sister?" Van Pelt teased Cho while they were walking to the bullpen. Rigsby who was following her, laughed softly when he saw the awkwardness on his partner's expression.

After reading that letter and witnessing Jane's reaction, no one could ever doubt that there wasn't something else besides friendship between the boss and Jane.

"I don't get it," Cho answered sincerely. Van Pelt just rolled her eyes. The ginger agent felt that Jane and Lisbon were very much like magnets, gravitating uncontrollably to each other. It was obvious to anyone paying attention.

"I haven't seen Jane like that before," Rigsby commented thinking about his reaction in the old house where they found Lisbon. The panic in his eyes was painful to observe.

Grace had agreed with Rigsby. Jane's eyes were jumping and she was pretty sure that he had a panic attack when he read the letter.

"Well, the serial killer that he has been chasing for almost ten years kidnapped his partner just to mock him," Cho stated. "I'll say that those a pretty valid reason to freak out."

Lisbon's second command took his jacket from his chair and looked at the ginger hair. "Risgby and I will go to the drone company again. Van Pelt, go to the morgue. Be discreet, that tattoo could be our only evidence."

Here you have their first kiss! I hope that you enjoyed it!

I think that in 6 or 7 chapters I'm finishing this story! pleasee let me know your opinions! thank you for your support.