Hey guys! I'm sorry I didn't update last week -this month is hectic. But here's a pretty long chapter to make up for it!

I would also like to thank everybody who has reviewed, favorited, and followed. I know I haven't been responding to reviews, but please know that I read every single one and would reply to every single one of you if I had the time. You make my day and keep me wanting to write this.

~Ra1n

Previously...

"Wait-!" Gwen shouted, but he was already gone.

She debated going back inside to tell Gaius what had just happened. But then she remembered Merlin still lying on the table, and Gaius taking his hand, and she couldn't return without help.

It took her a matter of minutes to find Gwaine, and by extension, Percival. They were sitting in the corridor outside of the hall that lead to Gaius's chamber. They were still dressed in maille, so Gwen would have thought they had just gotten back from some kind of outing...but she knew better. Arthur had banned the pair from patrol work until they agreed to take down the mourning cloth in and around Gaius's chambers.

They had so much free time now, and Gwen wasn't entirely sure how Percival was filling it. She knew how Gwaine was filling it, however.

Gwaine was drinking. Drinking away his loss, his pain, his anger. If he had been bordering on self-destructive before, he had passed that boundary the moment he had lost Merlin and his right to go on patrol. Gwen didn't know how many nights she had helped Percival drag an unconscious Gwaine to Gaius, or how many times another pair of knights would drag him in for Gwen and Gaius to treat.

"Sir Percival?"

Percival sat on one of the window frames, looking helplessly from side to side as Gwaine lay on the floor below him. His armor was dented. As Gwen neared them, she could smell the alcohol on Gwaine's skin.

The knight looked up, his eyebrows raised in answer and maybe a little embarrassment. Gwen knelt in front of them.

"How much?" she asked, glancing at Gwaine. He was hiccuping and his head was lolling back.

"Does it matter?" Percival asked from his window perch. Gwen sighed and knelt.

"Of all times..." she muttered, "Gwaine! Snap out of it!"

Percival knelt before her. "Is there something wrong?"

"I'll tell you once we find Sir Leon," she said, slapping Gwaine's cheeks lightly. The knight blinked his eyes open slowly, giving Gwen a lazy smile.

"Hiya, Guinevere."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "C'mon, get up. It's important."

Percival helped Gwaine up, who was swaying on his feet.

"Why d-we gotta find 'im?" Gwaine slurred, revealing he had heard at least a part of the earlier conversation, "Sir Le'n."

"I don't want to explain now, just help me."

They found Leon in the armory, practicing footwork. When he saw the three of them enter, he stopped and sheathed his sword.

"What can I help you with?"

"We don't know," Gwaine said a bit more clearly. Apparently the walk had helped sober him a little, "Ms. Guinevere here won't tell us."

"Fine," she snapped, for a moment forgetting the fading sorcerer in Gaius's chambers in lieu of being annoyed with Gwaine, "You are all needed in Gaius's chambers."

Leon's face paled. "What for?"

"It's...hard to explain. One of his patients…" she trailed off, remembering why she was there, and her eyes started watering, "He just...needs your help. Please."

Gwaine and Percival looked slightly concerned, but Leon remained stone-faced as he stepped forward.

"Then we shall go."

It seemed Gwen couldn't lead the men fast enough to Gaius's chambers. She padded down the hallway with her dress billowing about her legs, her dark hair snapping behind her shoulders.

"Couldya' please speed it up a little, missy? We can't keep up!" Shouted Gwaine in his usual sarcasm as they panted down the hall. Gwen didn't respond. Her mind was focused on one thing: Getting Merlin the help he so desperately needed.

She could tell the knights were more than a little confused by Gwen's reaction in the armory and her urgency to get to the physician, but she found she didn't care at the moment.

As the dark hall came into view, Gwen put on an extra burst of speed, the knights following her. Moving so fast, they were, that when she stopped right in front of the door, they ran into one another.

"Sorry!" She said, "I just... I just think it would be a good idea to be warned first."

Again, Percival and Gwaine looked rather concerned and worried, and Leon looked straight ahead.

"...Warned first?" Gwaine stole a glance at the door, his face growing serious. "Guinevere, what's really goin' on?"

Gwen's shoulders shook. She clasped her hands in front of her. "It's... well, it's… he isn't- I mean, he was brought up a few hours ago, but we need- or he needs, I suppose- to be moved. And...I'm not...I thought I was crazy, but I swear, I'm n-"

"Guinevere?" Gwaine cut her rambling off, "Who is it?"

Tears once again welled up in her eyes and she opened her mouth a few times in order to say something, but no sound came out. Finally, she managed to get out just one word:

"It's…"

"...Merlin?"

Gwen's eyes widened as she heard another voice finish her sentence. She looked to see that Percival and Gwaine were giving Leon an odd look as he stood off to the side, a hand pressed to the bridge of his nose. He glanced at the floor.

"Is it Merlin, Guinevere?"

"Merlin?" Gwaine seemed to think Leon had gone off the deep end, but Leon just lifted his eyes to Gwen and said softly,

"Is it?"

Gwen once again found it hard to find words. Was Gaius right? He was the head knight...had he stood idly by as his friend was hurt- beaten in the dungeons by the very men he lead?

"Guinevere, please. Tell me! Is. It. Merlin."

"Come now, Leon-" Gwaine started, but Gwen cut him off.

"How do you know that," her voice was dangerously low.

Leon didn't make eye contact. "I-" he didn't know where to go, how to explain himself.

"How do you know that?" Gwen shrieked, taking a step towards him with her fists clenched, "tell me!"

"I was under orders! I never-"

"You were under orders?"

"I never touched him! I-I was just the messenger-"

"But you knew? You knew and you just let it happen?!"

At this point, Gwaine and Percival had heard enough. "What is going on?!" Gwaine demanded at the same time as Percival's shout of "Can someone explain?"

Leon and Gwen stopped shouting, although she was still uncomfortably close to him. Her glare never left his face as she spoke.

"...Do you even know what they've done? Do you know what you have done?"

Leon hung his head.

"Guinevere, what are you speaking of?" Gwaine asked, shifting his eyes between the two of them.

"Leon knew, but he didn't touch him!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air, "because that makes everything okay! He was only the messenger! He wasn't responsible!" She dropped her hands and her voice lowered. "Do you want to see what you weren't a part of, Leon?"

She took a step backwards and pressed Gaius's door open, revealing the occupant.

"See for yourself."

Gwen watched the knights' faces as realization came to them.

He was on the table, his skin pale against the dark wood. His eyes were closed above his hollow cheeks. Sweat beaded across his brow as his chest moved up and down in feverish heaves beneath the blood-stained bandages wrapped tightly around his chest.

Leon's eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

Gwaine and Percival looked confused -Merlin was dead, Merlin was dead- before Gwen's angry words slid into place, and they understood.

"...Merlin?" Percival whispered. Merlin didn't wake, only shifted slightly before letting out a pained cry and falling still again. The sheet slid down to his waist, revealing more infection-stained bandages and his taut, hollowed stomach.

Leon blanched, his lips moving silently.

Gwaine whirled to look at him, fury in his eyes. The body on the table resembled more of a beaten child than the servant, but the dark hair and prominent (too prominent- emaciated) cheekbones were unmistakable.

"You did this?"

Leon shook his head, his hands going up. "I-I didn't-"

"You knew about this?"

Leon backed up. "I swear, I didn't know that it had gone this far-" but he stopped. Because he had heard the screams and the pleas. He had seen fleeting glimpses of that bloody face as the guards dragged him down the hall, unconscious or broken. He had known, distantly, what was being done, but he hadn't let himself think about it.

And now he was staring at the fruition of his ignorance.

Merlin was thinner now than when Leon had seen him last, but when had that been? The second week? The third? He knew Arthur had ordered to cut back his rations, but he had just assumed Merlin would be able to deal with it. The boy was already so skinny, he had reasoned that he probably didn't need much to eat in the first place.

But his bones were sticking out from his skin, even through the layers of bandages. And the bandages covered everything - his arms, his chest -they spread below the sheet and he knew they went down his legs and feet.

"But you knew it was happening?" Gwaine repeated.

"I didn't know this was happening!" Leon exclaimed, fumbling an excuse.

"I thought he was dead!"

"Nobody could know-"

"Godammit, I mourned him!"

"It needed to be done, it needed to-"

"In what world," Gwaine motioned towards Merlin's destroyed body, "Did this ever need to be done?"

Leon once again fell silent.

"I asked you a question." Gwaine took a step forward and Leon's back hit a bookcase, his hands falling to his sides.

"I was under orders…" Leon said quietly, but even he knew it was a flimsy excuse -he just wasn't prepared for the blow that snapped his head to the side.

"Since when are orders more important than honour!" Gwaine exclaimed, dealing another blow. Leon didn't move to protect himself. He fell to the ground and covered his head with his arms to shield himself from the blows.

Gwaine delivered a kick to his ribs. "He was your friend! He trusted you!" Another blow, "You bastard!" but the next blow didn't come. Leon opened his eyes.

Percival was holding Gwaine back as he attempted to throw himself at Leon. Spittle flew from his lips.

"Let go of me!" Gwaine shouted, jerking, "He hurt Merlin-"

"This is not going to fix anything, Gwaine!" Percival shouted over the din, "You'll kill him!"

"He fucking deserves it!"

"Gwaine, stop!" Gwen skidded into the melee, putting herself between Leon and Gwaine. "This won't solve anything!"

Gwaine glared at Leon, but his movements slowed until he hung dejectedly in Percival's grip.

"Are you done?" Percival asked, and Gwaine nodded. Percival released him, and he moved to Merlin's side, taking a bandaged hand.

"What...what happened to him?"

"He was tortured."

Everyone looked up as the door to Merlin's room creaked and Gaius emerged holding a worn blanket.

"I was going to break the news gently, but it seems we're passed that now." He glanced at Leon. "I had hoped for more from you."

The knight hung his head and looked away. Gaius smoothed the blanket over the cot on the far side of the room.

"Sir Percival? Gwaine? Would you mind..?" He motioned vaguely towards Merlin, but the knights understood. Gwaine pulled the sheet up so that it once again covered Merlin's torso. Merlin flinched, still unconscious. Percival slid his hands under Merlin's shoulders and knees, and with Gwaine helping to support his head, they carried Merlin's weightless body to the cot that Gaius had prepared.

"Lords, Gaius, has he eaten anything?" Gwaine asked as they settled his feverish head against a pillow. Gaius pressed a hand to his flushed forehead and frowned.

"I bet you could ask Leon," Gwen muttered, "I bet he knows."

All eyes turned to the blond knight still kneeling on the floor.

"Has he eaten?" Gwaine asked, his voice carefully even.

"Well-" Leon didn't want to explain, not now, surrounded by the people he had betrayed, "Well... Arthur cut back his rations."

Gaius responded, "It is common practice to decrease a sorcerer's rations during imprisonment, but Merlin's body has lost weight far faster than it should have if he was on prisoner rations. There is something you are hiding."

Leon shifted. "I swear I didn't think it was going to go this far."

Gwaine's fists were clenched again.

"You didn't think what was going to go this far?"

"He just wasn't responding to anything else, and Owaine kept coming in to report that the methods were still not working- and oh God..."

"What. Did. You. Do."

"I didn't do anything. I never touched him. I just delivered the orders sometimes- oh my God, I delivered the orders..." The depths to which Leon had played his role was finally dawning on him, but it was too little, too late. The damage had already been done. "The...the first week. Morgana. Morgana was coming and we needed information fast. We thought Merlin had it... Arthur told me to report to the guards, tell them that they should accelerate the usual interrogation timeline-"

"Please tell the guards to move on to the next step of the interrogation. I want something out of the sorcerer before she arrives."

"Yes, sire." Leon said, shuffling away.

"-and then... The second week, the head of the guards- Owaine- came to say that the methods were not working." Once he started, everything came spilling out. "Arthur accused him… he accused him of sympathizing with a sorcerer, but Owain just thought that maybe we were wrong, that maybe he didn't know anything, but Arthur would not have that. I did not even try to convince him otherwise... Oh, but what if I had? What if I had helped Owain? Then maybe…" he paused, remembered his place, backtracked. "...But Arthur would not have that. He said… He said to get creative, and...."

Leon shuddered, took a glance at Merlin's shallow breathing and the bandages that covered his torn, bruised flesh.

"...And then that was not working," Tears pricked at the back of his eyes, but he fought them. He had not cried in years, he was not going to cry now, over a single manservant. Even if that manservant had been tortured for information he never knew, "So his rations were cut. And Owain tried to protest again, but it did not work…"

Over the course of the speech, Leon's voice became less and less of the head knight they knew, and more and more the rambling tone of guilt. It seemed that everybody in the room noticed but Leon himself, who was starting to relive all of the conversations he had heard and had in the last five weeks.

"Is he secure? Sir Leon," Arthur asked as they both watched "Merlin" burn. Leon turned to look at the king.

"You were down with him only hours ago, sire. You fastened the cuffs yourself."

Arthur turned his gaze back to the flames. "I just need to be certain. You are to tell no one of this, do you understand? Morgana and Morgause cannot see through our charade before we learn what he knows."

"Yes, sire."

He had been so mindless. He had been Arthur's little pet.

"I just...I've been down there so much," Owain said one night after emerging from the dungeons, blood still staining his gloves. He picked at a fleck of it as he spoke, "And I don't know, maybe he's casting a spell on me, or something of the sort, but I don't think so. I just don't think he knows what I'm asking him. I don't think he's done the things we think he has."

"He is a sorcerer, Sir Owain. There is no room for goodness or sympathy."

"I know, I know," He looked at his hands again. "But… he's so small, Sir Leon. And he's not even trying to stay silent anymore. He talks all the time. He's not being stubborn, he just isn't giving us the information we want."

"It's a good tactic."

"I don't think it is. A tactic, I mean."

Leon looked at Owain seriously. "What you speak is treason."

Owain looked down. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm not sure I can."

"You can, and you will."

"He talks so much, though."

"Hasn't he always?"

Owain looked at him. "Exactly."

Leon realized he was still rambling. "I think I knew. I knew something was not right, but I did not know what. I just followed what I had always been taught."

It was easier that way. To not think, to just follow.

"And then Morgana delayed her attack, and we had more time, and Sir Owain began to voice his doubts, and I just spit Arthur's words at him, and-" An odd look crossed his face. "and...Gaius? How did Merlin get up here?"

He suddenly realized that he had stood to move right next to Merlin's bed, and everybody was watching him. Gwaine's fists were no longer clenched at his sides. Gwen had her hands over her mouth. Percival and Gaius shared nearly identical concerned faces.

"I am sorry. I know it is not enough, but… I am." He directed his apology at Merlin's pale face.

There was a moment of silence. Nobody wanted to break the moment, to interrupt Leon as he came to full realization and faced his regret. But then Gwaine spoke.

"How did Merlin get up here, Gaius?"

"Arthur carried him in this morning," Gaius said, then glanced at the darkened window, "Or perhaps it was yesterday morning, by now."

""But...why? What changed his mind?"

"I was hoping Leon could tell us that," Gaius said, and all heads once again swiveled to look at Leon. Leon just looked lost.

"I assure you, I do not know. I'm sorry, but he didn't tell me. I can't tell you."

"No, but I can." A low voice said, and everyone turned, startled to see the king himself standing in the doorway before all Hell broke loose.