I am so sorry that I was gone for so long- May was a lot more hectic than I expected it to be. But no fear! Here is another chapter. It's kind of a filler, but think of it as necessary to get to more action-y parts, which will be coming up soon!

Enjoy! ~Rain

Previously...

Some blood and water. That was what Merlin had been living off of since his last meal.

Nothing else. No solid food. He hadn't had anything to eat in days. Just a few mouthfuls of water and his own blood.

Suddenly, the walls of Gaius's chambers were too close, the dim light of the candles too bright, Merlin's breathing too loud. Arthur couldn't catch his breath as the sickly scent of Merlin's scant stomach contents filled the room.

"I need to go," he said quickly, and without another word, he sprinted from the room.

Gods, he had messed up.

As Arthur moved down the hallway, that was all he could think.

He had messed up.

He had messed up.

Tattered cloth still hung from the windows, blending in with the stark black of the sky. Arthur could hear it whispering against the stones of the walls as he rounded the corner and entered the main hallway. Distantly, he wondered where the time had gone. Had he been in Gaius's chambers the entire day? Had it really been yesterday morning that he had dragged Merlin out of the dungeons? Torches flickered shadows against the floor and for a moment he was back in the dungeons, listening to Merlin's screams echoing down the corridor.

He winced and pressed two fingers to the bridge of his nose, moving quickly into the courtyard. Merlin wasn't in the dungeons anymore. He was with Gaius. He was safe.

Safe and starving. Safe and gagging up his own blood.

Arthur's legs gave out at the same time as his stomach, and he was on his hands and knees, retching like Merlin had done just moments before. Unlike Merlin, however, Arthur had enough in his stomach to vomit properly.

As Merlin had slowly starved to death below him, Arthur had been eating-feasting- like the king he was.

How much had Merlin been allowed to eat in the last month? Three meals a week? Two? How long ago must it have been since Merlin had eaten, that there was nothing in him even to vomit?

Arthur felt like he was thinking in circles.

Shuddering, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood. The moon had risen sometime before, and was now throwing silvery light over the walls and across the desolate scape of the courtyard. Targets lay basking in the shadows, bits of broken weaponry from the training of the day sticking into the grass. Arthur lifted a piece of spear and crushed it in his fist. The wood crumbled, rotten through.

"What have I done," he whispered.

"I don't know."

Arthur jumped, dropping the handful of wood dust. A shadow made itself known atop one of the walls, silhouetted against the moon.

"What?" Arthur squinted, trying to see who it was. The shape didn't move from the wall, but Arthur could make out the line of a head and shoulders, bowed against a set of knees. The head turned towards Arthur, its features black against the stars. It spoke again.

"What have we done?"

Arthur moved towards the silhouette. "Owain..?"

The figure tensed, but then released its hold on its legs. The face turned to look over its other shoulder, at the town and forest and the night beyond. Arthur leaned against the wall and looked up.

"I thought that the air would help," the figure said, and Arthur hoisted himself up onto the wall, taking a seat next to the figure and swinging his legs over the edge to look at the darkened kingdom.

"So did I," Arthur whispered, and yes, it was Owain. Arthur could see his features as the knight turned to face the same direction as Arthur. The moon glinted off of his pale eyes and Arthur saw the tear tracks already coursing down his cheeks.

"And is it working?" he asked, not looking at Arthur. Arthur sighed and rested his chin in his hand.

"No," Arthur said. Owain laughed, but there was no mirth in it.

"Same."

They remained silent. Owain fiddled with one of his gloves, and out of the corner of his eye, Arthur noticed that the other one was missing. He abruptly felt like there was something he should say to Owain, something building in his gut, but he wasn't sure what.

"It won't get out of my head."

Arthur's brow crinkled. What wouldn't get out of his head?

Owain creased one of the fingers of the glove, scratching at the dirt still caked to the leather after a day of work. The quiet stretched on again, squeezed between them and seeping into the rock wall.

"I don't know if I should be angry."

Arthur looked at Owain. "About what?"

"It's not a what," he said, his eyes still cast down, "It's a who."

Oh. Arthur leaned back. "Me."

Owain shrugged. "And me."

This time, Arthur turned to face him fully. "You?"

Owain crumpled the glove in his fist as an answer.

"But you didn't do anything."

Owain laughed. "Didn't I?" He lifted the glove, letting the moonlight touch it. For the first time, Arthur could see the glove fully.

Blood.

Spattered across the fingers and palm, smeared into the lacing, blood stained the glove instead of dirt. Arthur felt sick all over again. He didn't need to be told whose blood it was. "If I didn't do anything, then who did?"

Arthur swallowed. "I gave the orders, Owain. You were just following orders."

"And I could have stopped following orders at any time, couldn't I? But I didn't. I hurt him more than anybody. It was my choice, and I chose."

"Nobody blames you."

"Yeah? And what about me? Who do I blame?"

Arthur didn't know how to respond.

"Exactly." Owain whispered, leaping from the wall and landing on his feet in the courtyard below. Arthur watched him, speechless, as he disappeared through the nearest archway. Arthur was left on the wall alone, looking over the kingdom far below.

For a moment after Arthur fled the room, everybody stared at the empty place Arthur had been occupying with confusion.

Then Merlin coughed weakly, and the moment was gone.

Gwen went to work wiping the bloody vomit off of Merlin's lips and chin. Gaius pressed two fingers to his wrist, terrified that he would hear Merlin's heart slow and stop altogether; that the vomiting had not been as effective as it had needed to be.

Gwaine and Percival stood with their hands hovering uselessly, wanting to help but unsure how.

Leon remained further back, watching the commotion.

"He's stable for now," Gaius said, releasing the warlock's wrist.

The entire room seemed to let out a breath they didn't know they were holding.

"But we still need to be cautious. If the collar truly has the properties that Arthur described…" he trailed off.

"Yes?" Gwaine prompted. Gaius shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. We will be cautious." Nobody knew how to respond to that, so Gaius continued, "In the meantime, you should get some rest. There is nothing you can do for him now."

Nobody moved.

"I will be here the entire night, and you have duties to fulfill and people to protect."

Still, no movement. Gaius furrowed his brow and set his jaw.

"Morgana will be here in a fortnight. Stop being pigheaded while the kingdom needs you. You will be no help to Merlin if you cannot protect Camelot from an attack."

That seemed to work as everyone turned reluctantly towards the door.

"Wait," Gaius said, "Gwen. Can you stay for a little longer?"

Gwen nodded.

"Good, then the rest of you- go home, get some rest, and come back later. I will let you know if there is any change."

The group nodded solemnly and filed out, stealing glances at Merlin as they did so. Gaius watched them leave. The moment the door shut, his face collapsed into a frown.

Gwen looked at him intently. "Gaius, what's wrong?"

There was no reason for him to keep her back; Merlin was resting.

Gaius sighed. "Again, honesty."

Gwen nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I wanted to avoid saying it while the knights were in the room, but you must know. I've known these collars to be the death of many sorcerers."

Silence. Gwen slid her hand into Merlin's.

"Now, I would say it is a miracle he is in the state he is in now, having had that collar on him all this time. But Merlin is a very powerful warlock, the likes of which I have never seen, and I suspect that is playing a role in keeping him stable."

"Why are you telling me this, Gaius?"

"Because I need someone to understand the gravity of the situation. From now on, getting that collar off of him becomes priority."

Gwen ran her fingers over Merlin's bruised, bandaged knuckles. "I will help, Gaius, but you should tell the knights. They have a right to know just as much as I do."

She didn't mention Arthur. She wasn't going to mention Arthur. As far as she was concerned, he no longer had any right to Merlin at all.

Gaius bowed his head. "I will consider it. Now you may go, Guinevere. I can watch Merlin for the remainder of tonight. As long as his fever stays down and infection stays at bay, he should be alright for a few hours."

Gwen hesitated.

"Don't make me give you a speech."

She blushed, but finally left.

The room groaned under the pressure of the sudden emptiness.

Gaius dragged a stool beside Merlin and took the hand Gwen had been holding. Merlin shifted a little and fell still again, and Gaius felt tears press against the backs of his eyes. Even with Merlin in his care, alive and safe from further torture, Gaius wasn't sure he could fix everything. Some of the damage done to Merlin's body would no doubt scar, even if Gaius did his best to keep it from doing so. The bones could heal, but Gaius could only pray they hadn't already begun to heal twisted and useless. And God only knew what had been done to Merlin's mind during a month of imprisonment and pain.

If they could get the collar off, Gaius knew it would be long road to recovery, if it was possible at all.

The night dragged on.

The morning broke with an orange-brown haze through the black cloth over Gaius's windows, and with it came Gwen, a bucket of water in hand, clattering through the door loudly enough to wake the whole kingdom.

Merlin didn't stir.

"How is he?" She asked, placing the water on the table. Gaius was kneeling in front of the fire, stirring the morning embers into flames again. He got up slowly.

"The same as last night."

"No fever?"

Gaius shook his head. "Not any worse than before."

Gwen put a hand on his forehead. Heat still burned his bruised brow, but Gaius was right- the fever hadn't changed.

"Is that normal? No change?"

Gaius took his place by Gwen. "The iron dust isn't out of his system yet. He is probably still fighting it."

"And the collar?"

"Certainly not helping matters."

"Have you found a way to remove it?"

Gaius motioned to the work table, where books lay scattered, opened and dog-eared. Evidence of what he had spent the night doing.

"Nothing so far. Arthur was right about what each jewel is supposed to do, though. That is not good news, but at least there are no surprises. The collar cuts his magic away from him while the jewels slow and weaken his bodily systems."

"Then that could also be causing the fever."

"Yes," he sighed, "That could be causing the fever as well."

A beat. There were two many uncertainties and not enough words to express them.

"The water is for soup," Gwen said suddenly, trying to change the subject, "I thought maybe Merlin's stomach would be settled now."

"Thank you, Guinevere." Gaius said, regaining his focus, "The effects of the potion I used last night should be mostly gone now."

Instead of answering, Gwen simply lifted the water from the table and began to look through cabinets, trying to find ingredients to make some kind of broth to feed Merlin. Gaius stopped her for long enough to fill a goblet of water for himself and another for Merlin, hoping to coax the liquid between Merlin's chapped lips.

But the unspoken tension remained.

And so began their day.

Gaius only succeeded in getting a few sips of water into Merlin before he coughed and retched it back up again.

"I suppose the potion isn't out of his system yet," he said as he cleaned the vomit from the floor. Gwen offered a weak smile. Neither one of them wanted to believe that maybe Merlin's body simply didn't know how to process the water in the state he had been kept in for the last month.

They waited an hour before trying the water again. Gwen put together a thin soup in that time, but Gaius insisted they try water first. Gwen didn't argue.

As the water trickled between his lips, he coughed, and Gaius, panicked, thought that maybe the draught had been too strong before Merlin swallowed and relaxed. He took a breath along with Gwen as the water stayed down.

Some of the tension eased.

"I can take over, Gaius, if you'd like to continue researching the collar," Gwen said, seizing an opportunity. Gaius hesitated- The fatherly part of him wanted to stay with Merlin forever- before relinquishing the cup. Gwen smiled as she took it, understanding his hesitation.

"If he continues to respond to the water well, you can try the soup."

And with that, he went to his table and began to flip through yet more books.

As the day dragged on, Gwen did her best to keep him hydrated, to feed him as he slept. Gaius watched with quick, worried glances as she tried water and then the broth, tipping it down his throat and making him swallow. In the end Merlin could only manage a few mouthfuls of each before he began to gag again.

"It's okay, Guinevere, give him time." Gaius said after Merlin gagged for the third time. He had managed to keep everything down, and Gaius knew Gwen would have kept trying, but it was obvious the dry heaving was using up energy he didn't have. "He might not be used to large quantities of food. We'll have to introduce it slowly."

Gwen set the soup down. She knew how starvation worked, and she knew they needed to reintroduce food slowly, but she also knew that he should have been able to handle more than what she had given him. Gaius could see it in her frown and in her worried eyes.

The day dragged on. From his desk in the corner Gaius could watch everybody coming and going.

Gwen spent her time with Merlin holding his bandaged hand and begging him to wake, to eat, to heal. She fell asleep by his side and Gaius could see the hope in her eyes when she woke, only for it to fade when she found him the same: pale and thin and feverish. Nothing she did seemed to get him to keep more than incrementally smaller amounts of fluids down.

Gaius went back to his books.

Gwaine and Percival stopped by in the sliver of time before patrol and after training. Gaius looked up long enough to watch Gwen get called away to do chores, and Gwaine take her place. The physician smiled when the knight began to tell stories. They rose loudly and always fell flat, but they were more noise than the scraping sinew of Merlin's breathing. He had traded his time drinking in the tavern for sitting on a stool, coaxing fluids into Merlin's body. To Gaius's surprise, he was rivaled only by Percival at getting the boy to eat, but it still wasn't enough.

Percival came with Gwaine after training, but when Gwaine left for patrol, Percival stayed. He cradled Merlin in his arms and dribbled soup down his throat with an expertise that would have made Gwen jealous, had they cared about those things. The large knight was more gentle than Gaius would have thought possible, and when he left in the late afternoon, the physician couldn't help but feel a little saddened by his absence.

As the day turned to night, Gwen returned, and do did Leon. He stood in the corner with his arms folded across his chest, watching, regret in his eyes. He never sat down. He never touched him. He just watched and begged silently, mouthing apologies and prayers. He left before Gwen did. He seemed to fear being in the room alone.

As Leon left with the evening sun, Gaius finally decided it was a good time to speak. With a heavy heart, he looked at Guinevere.

"There is nothing here, Guinevere," he said, lighting another candle and shutting a book. The day was over and he had gotten nowhere. It had simply slithered by.

"How can that be?" She was always so hopeful, but even she looked tired, and it had only been a little over two days. How were they going to continue like this? How was Merlin going to continue like this?

"The collars were invented during the Purge, but these books were written before that," Gaius explained, "I had thought that maybe something similar had been used prior to Uther's reign, but it seems they are unique to the last twenty years- nothing has been written about them."

Gwen took up her seat beside Merlin while Gaius continued,

"I don't even know how to ease the symptoms. There are entire texts devoted to the effects of certain minerals on a sorcerer's mind, magic, and body, but the first step is always to remove the stones from the sorcerer's contact..."

He trailed off, his eyes locked on Merlin. He didn't need a physician's eye to see Merlin was declining.

"And he isn't eating," he said quietly, "and I know that you are aware he should be, even with the rations he was on. And I can't explain that, either. It might be the collar. But it might be the iron dust, or an infection, or some other injury I have missed. I don't know. I have not been able to treat him the way I should be..."

"You've been treating him the best you know how, Gaius."

"But I fear it is not enough."

"It will be. We'll get the collar off."

"Guinevere-"

Gwen cut him off. "You forget you're not alone. You have me and the knights. Have you told them about the danger of the collar yet? They have been in and out of this room all day. They could go to the jewelsmith, or find Iseldir. They are valuable and they care about Merlin just as much as we do."

Gaius bowed his head. Truth be told, he'd been so focused on helping Merlin, he'd forgotten about everybody else's abilities to help outside of sitting with and feeding him. "I have to admit, I have not. And I didn't even consider the Druids."

"Nor the jewelsmith?"

He hesitated. That he had thought about, at least a little. "...I am afraid he will do more harm than good if put in the presence of a known magic-user. Anybody who makes collars like this will certainly not free a sorcerer willingly."

Gwen huffed. "You're making assumptions. And Merlin can't afford assumptions."

"He also cannot afford any more injuries, especially not from vengeful, magic-hating men who have the means to kill him at their disposal." He snapped.

There was a long pause. Gaius thought about apologizing, but Gwen beat him to it.

"I will call on one of the knights to find Iseldir. If he helped once, then maybe he will help again. And the jewelsmith..." She didn't like what she was about to say, "maybe Arthur could convince him otherwise."

The physician cringed. He knew Arthur regretted what he had done, but it didn't change the fact that he had done it. And it didn't mean Gaius was any more comfortable with letting him near Merlin. He supposed it was some kind of fatherly instinct, or maybe it was just because Merlin was so vulnerable.

"If we must," he said, and he knew Gwen felt the same way he did about the situation.

"Then it is settled," she said, nodding once, "I will leave as soon as our conversation is over."

"Will you alert the knights to the gravity of the situation?" Gaius said, then, as an afterthought, "They each came by today to try to help him eat. Percival and Gwaine had a knack for it."

Gwen raised her eyebrows. "So he's eating now?"

Gaius winced, "Not… well, yes, but not as much as he should be. He keeps gagging it up. I think Percival was the most successful, but even he only got a few spoonfuls into him before Merlin refused any more."

"Oh." Her hopes deflated. They both stood in silence.

"I will continue the research," Gaius said quietly.

"And I will go."

From his dimly lit desk, Gaius watched her leave.