Hello! I have an important Question! Do ya'll want the next chapter in Merlin's POV, or would you rather I keep this story outside his head, and instead write a separate fic in his POV that follows Merlin's time in the dungeons? Or both?

Let me know!

~Ra1n

Previously...

Standing at the foot of the bed, the physician caught Merlin's shoulders from behind. Arthur scrambled off the side of the bed and rushed towards the window. Behind him, Iseldir had joined Gaius in helping maneuver Merlin into the bed, but Arthur had to check something first.

He needed to know if the spell was really over.

He peeked outside and breathed a sigh of relief. Camelot stretched as far as he could see. The rain was falling steadily. The grass bent beneath the droplets.

He was back, and Merlin was free.

Arthur was screaming.

Gaius didn't have time to look- he was too busy maneuvering Merlin's limp body into the bed. Arthur had run to the window the moment Merlin's magical fit had stopped, and if he'd gone and hurt himself in the process, it wasn't Gaius's problem right now.

What was his problem was Merlin, whose body was limp beneath his fingers.

Gaius could have seen Merlin flagging from miles away. As the room had roared and spun with wind and debris and magic, Gaius had been watching Merlin. He knew the boy better than anyone, knew what he looked like when he was exhausted, dizzy, or about to pass out. He'd seen him cast strong magic. He'd seen him weak. He'd seen countless other sorcerers, both collared and uncollared, casting voluntarily and involuntarily. And he'd be damned if he couldn't recognize when a spell was taking more than a sorcerer's body could sustain.

And he would have to hang up his title of physician if he couldn't recognize when Merlin, of all people, was about to collapse.

So as the Druids rushed to protect Gaius and Iseldir tried to figure out a way to stop the reaction and Arthur scrambled to the other side of the bed, Gaius pushed his way through.

It was clear to Gaius that this was Merlin's magic returning to him, and not even a healthy body would be able to withstand that much. So when the episode inevitably passed, Gaius would be there to catch the boy before he hit the ground.

That time came more quickly than Gaius had expected.

Merlin was squatting at the foot of the bed with his back to Gaius, the wind whipping around his head. His slouched posture pushed his bruised spine grotesquely into the air, the thin bandages turning red as his skin was stretched and cracked by the movement. Gaius could feel the pressure in the room building, building, building-

And then it dropped.

No climax.

Just...dropped.

Gaius had only barely gotten to the bed before Merlin had started to slump forward, the rigidity of his spine softening. Gaius caught the boy by his shoulders, his fingers lightly pressing on the bones beneath his skin. Gaius cringed a little- no matter how many times he treated Merlin, he'd never gotten used to a body so emaciated. He hoped he never did.

Iseldir appeared beside Gaius, and together, they turned Merlin onto his side. Gaius realized he'd need to change Merlin's bandages again, with the wounds being reopened and the amount of debris that had been caked to the linen.

And- Gaius looked at the skin where the collar had been- he'd need to bandage his neck, too.

Gaius felt something flush under his skin. Gods, there was relief, there- without the collar, Merlin might heal. Without the collar, destiny wasn't broken. Without the collar, maybe Merlin would have hope of recovery…

But right now, he was unconscious with a ring of nasty, gnarled burns around his throat.

They got him into the bed comfortably, Arthur having scurried away for reasons Gaius couldn't begin to guess, when the screaming began.

Gaius thought it was Merlin until Iseldir rushed towards Arthur, at which point Gaius decided that just this once, Merlin was going to come before the king.

It was only after a few seconds that the screaming actually did begin to come from Merlin.

"Merlin-!" Gaius gasped as the warlock's eyes shot open and filled with tears. He lifted his arms and went to push Gaius away, his fingers curled into half-fists.

"Please-" Merlin's voice was hoarse, his eyes wide and desperate, "Just leave me alone, let me die, let me go, please, I just want to go-"

Gaius felt his heart break as the mantra continued. The crying only grew worse when Gaius managed to catch Merlin's clubbing hands, turning into sobs as the boy realized he wasn't strong enough to escape.

"Please!" He writhed. "Just leave me alone!"

"Merlin-" Gaius tried to keep his voice soft but firm. Merlin continued to cry, shaking his head back and forth. "Merlin."

The boy's eyes landed on Gaius but slid away again.

"Merlin, it's Gaius," he continued, "I need you to listen to me." The boy continued to writhe. Gaius dropped his voice to a whisper.

"Merlin, you're safe now. Please, look at me. Look at me. You're okay, my boy, just look at me."

Merlin's eyes fell on Gaius, and Gaius felt struck to the bone by how exhausted they were. How grey and flat and resigned they looked. Then they brightened, just a little, and Merlin took a deep, surprised breath.

"Gaius?" he squeaked, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Gaius knew he probably didn't, not after what he'd been through.

"Yes, my boy. It's me," Gaius's voice cracked. "You're safe now. It's over. You're-"

He didn't get to finish. Merlin's eyes filled with tears and he threw himself forward, his arms winding around Gaius's neck. Gaius broke down completely then.

"Gods, Merlin-"

Merlin hiccuped. "I thought you were dead," he whispered through his tears.

Oh, Merlin… Gaius thought. He squeezed him tighter.

The door behind them slammed open, and Gaius could feel the way Merlin's muscles bunched under his skin at the noise.

"It's just the door," he murmured, then, realizing that Merlin might not know who was coming through the door, he said, "it's your friends. Nobody is going to take you back."

Merlin nodded into Gaius's shoulder, but he was still tense. When a floorboard to Gaius's right creaked, Merlin pulled himself away from Gaius, his eyes filled with apprehension. Gaius kept his hands braced against the boy's shoulders as he turned to face whoever it was that had approached. Gaius prayed it was a Druid, or Gwen, and not a knight- not now, when Merlin was so obviously terrified of being dragged back down to the dungeons.

He didn't need to turn around to find out. Merlin peered over Gaius's shoulder, then looked back at Gaius. His lips parted as he let out a puff of air.

It had to have been Gwen. There was nobody else that could have received a reaction that calm from Merlin.

Gwen's fingers were trembling. She was already on her knees beside the bed, her hand covering her mouth. Her shoulders were shaking.

"Merlin," she said, her voice muffled by her hand. Merlin searched her face. Her fingers came up to brush his cheek. "Can I-?"

Merlin was already leaning into her touch, his eyes sliding closed. Gwen froze, feeling the sharpness of his cheekbone against her palm. Her heart pounded when she saw the scarring on his neck. But at least that meant the collar was gone, and the skin covering his cheekbones was warm, and he was leaning into her as if the world was on his shoulders and she was holding him up.

They remained like that, with Gaius holding Merlin's shoulders and Gwen holding Merlin's cheek, frozen, for what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few breaths before Merlin opened his eyes and pulled away from Gwen.

"You don't hate me, then?" He asked, and it sounded like he was forcing nonchalance. The apprehension in his eyes spoke otherwise. He really thought she might hate him.

"Of course not," she said, scooting closer until her elbows rested on the edge of the bed. She took his hands in his lap. "I never did."

Merlin nodded, his eyes falling to their hands. His cheeks colored in shame.

"I thought you did," he whispered into his lap. "I'm sorry. I thought you did."

Gwen shook her head. "Now you listen to me, Merlin," she said, and her voice was forceful enough to bring his gaze back up to her. She let go of his hands in favor of cupping both of his cheeks. "You don't apologize. Not to me. Not to anyone. Do you understand? You have done nothing wrong."

Merlin's gaze fell again. His chest was heaving through the stained bandages. Gwen had to force herself to look at his face and not the injuries adorning it. It was difficult. The color was returning to his skin, but that only made the silvery-yellow of scar tissue more prominent. His lungs, free of the emeralds that had bound them, expanded fully, but that only served to pull on the wounds on his torso.

How he was awake was anybody's guess. Gwen suspected it was adrenaline, or perhaps the magic that she'd witnessed wreaking havoc just minutes before.

Or maybe it was just Merlin's sheer stubbornness. That wouldn't surprise her even a bit.

"Okay," Merlin whispered, nodding. Then to himself, "okay."

There was a commotion behind them at that moment, and Gwen and Merlin jumped- she'd forgotten there were others in the room.

Merlin's eyes shot up to look behind her, and his breath caught in his throat. Gwen's heart pounded. Was it guards? Why did he look so frightened? She whipped her head around, preparing to bodily shield Merlin from the intruders-

Only to find Gwaine and Percival.

Merlin's breathing picked up. "I'm sorry," he was saying, "I'm sorry, I know it's you, I'm sorry, I can't help it, I know it's you, but-"

He scooted backwards a little, would have probably leapt off the bed if he'd had the strength.

Gwen thought he was apologizing for his magic for a second before she realized his eyes were darting from their faces to their outfits.

The Druids were one step ahead. Before either Gwaine or Percival could say a word, they'd ushered them back outside, the door swinging shut behind them.

Merlin watched them go with a stricken look on his face.

"I know it's them," he was muttering, "I know it is."

Gaius and Gwen exchanged looks. Merlin's reaction was involuntary; he'd seen the armor and his body had reacted accordingly. They didn't blame him, weren't even surprised- but it was a reminder of how far Merlin was from recovery. He was awake, but that was all. There was a long way to go.

And Morgana wasn't going to wait.

Things were going too slowly.

Arthur knew that wasn't necessarily true- he knew he had no right to rush things, and it was ridiculous that he'd thought it would go more quickly, but he'd never considered that the healing process would involve him, specifically.

But it did.

Gods, it did.

Arthur thought he would go mad with boredom. He'd been confined to the tiny bed in Gaius's quarters for the better part of two days, and he was fairly sure if he had to stay another two he would snap.

The only thing that kept him from storming out of the room was the thought that Merlin was dealing with far worse.

Well, that, and Arthur's feet.

As it turned out, the spell wasn't entirely in Merlin and Arthur's heads. Or it had been, but obviously some of it spilled into real life, or else Merlin wouldn't have been freed. And Arthur wouldn't be banned from standing for more than a few seconds.

Arthur's feet weren't burned, per say, but they hurt like hell, and that was enough for him. They looked fine, though, which was maddening to Arthur, because he had been bed-ridden for days, just stuck sitting in the main room of Gaius's quarters, over injuries that didn't technically exist.

Iseldir had said something about wounded magic, or maybe it was magical wounds? Something about Arthur's mind and magic experiencing physical ailments even if his body hadn't. Arthur hadn't been listening all that closely, though, because the explanation had been given to him a few seconds after the collar had been broken, and a few other events had happened at around the same time:

One, Arthur had gotten himself to the window, confirmed reality, and then promptly collapsed to the ground as his feet came alive with fire.

And two, Merlin had been maneuvered into bed, but as Gaius and Iseldir finished that task and Iseldir turned to see why Arthur was screaming in the corner, Merlin had opened his eyes and started screaming, too. And writhing. And crying. And doing his damndest to get away from anybody in sight. Which was horrible to watch, especially because he hadn't had the strength to actually get up or fight back- just bat Gaius away weakly with his hands, tears streaming down his face and pleas falling from his lips.

"Just leave me alone, let me die, let me go, please-"

And even through his own pain, Arthur had shut his mouth and stared at Merlin in horror until Gaius had calmed him down, at which point Iseldir had tried to explain what was going on to Arthur.

But Arthur's focus was only on Merlin, who stopped trying to fight back when Gaius caught both of the warlock's wrists in his hands and forced him to make eye contact, whispering something Arthur couldn't hear over Merlin's begging and his own searing feet.

He'd only broken away when Merlin's face softened with recognition and he started crying anew, throwing his thin arms around Gaius's frame and burying his face into the physician's shoulder.

Gaius had started crying, too.

And that was when Arthur had looked away, something hot and cold and shuttering filling his chest, something stronger than whatever phantom-magic-pain had possessed his body. Something between shame and relief and guilt and anger, something that made the world spin and blur and make Arthur want to throw up or melt into the floor or scream until darkness claimed him.

Darkness didn't claim him, though. And although Arthur wished with all of his heart that he'd been unconscious for the last two days, the truth was he had barely slept at all.

As a few of the Druids and Iseldir had helped Arthur limp towards the door, it had swung open, and everybody who had previously fled the room spilled back in.

Gwaine and Gwen and Percival rushed to Merlin's bed, where the warlock and mentor were still embracing.

Leaning heavily against Iseldir, Arthur watched, trapped between the window and the bed by the commotion.

Gwen approached first, her eyes wide with dread when she saw Gaius cradling Merlin, only to fill with relief when she saw that Merlin was holding Gaius, as well. Her hand had flown to her mouth and her knees had nearly buckled as she made her way towards the bed, her other hand outstretched.

Arthur felt like he was watching everything on mute. A roaring had filled his ears.

Merlin broke away from Gaius then, or rather, Gaius pulled back a little, then held Merlin by his shoulders to keep him from falling as he turned his head towards Gwen. There was a jerky discomfort that came with the head turn, as if he was afraid of what he might see- only to have his eyes, swollen with tears now, fall on the queen. They went back to Gaius, then to Gwen quickly. His lips parted as he let out a tiny breath.

Arthur remembered the words he'd said only minutes ago:

"They wouldn't have come looking anyway."

And now, here was Gaius-the man he'd believed dead- and Gwen- the friend he'd thought had abandoned him.

Her hand shook as she gently placed it on Merlin's cheek. Arthur expected him to flinch away from the touch, but he instead leaned into it. Arthur had a flash of Owain in the dungeon, his hand in the same place.

There were lips moving, Arthur could see them. Gwen was speaking. Merlin was, too. Slowly, Iseldir began to bring Arthur towards the door again.

"I think it's best he doesn't see you just yet," Iseldir whispered. Arthur nodded. He understood. It was somehow different to see Merlin now, even though they'd only just spoken minutes ago.

But they didn't get him out quickly enough.

Arthur didn't miss the way Merlin cringed when he realized how many people were near him. He didn't miss the way some of the Druids had to step in and usher Gwaine and Percival out because the sight of their armor scared him.

He didn't miss the way Merlin's eyes slid to Arthur, just for a moment. Or the way they shuttered and grew distant.

The door closed between them right after.

And it had been roughly that way ever since: Arthur had stayed in the main room of Gaius's quarters, bored out of his skull and trying to avoid making eye contact with anybody. He'd sent Leon out to tell the knights that he'd sustained a minor training injury and would be absent for a few days.

He was afraid to inquire after Merlin's wellbeing, but he'd gotten the general gist. He sighed. He just hoped the Druids were able to keep Morgana at bay a little longer.