Isn't it amazing how fast a year and a half goes by? No, not when you're waiting? Half of the people reading this story quit the site and the other half forgot about this story. I had a few chapters ready, but they got stolen along with my laptop. Very demotivating I tell you!
This is a hard story for me to write, not quite sure why. I'm sure that I'll finish it. I got some ideas planned it's just a matter of finding time to write. Hoping you're pleased with a short and more lighthearted chapter. I don't want Ino to only suffer. I'm also trying to portray how much of the social stigma is just in her own mind, but I'm not sure if it's coming across. So I'll just tell all the readers what I'm trying to do before they start reading. Anyread, enjoy the chapter and I won't spend over a year on the next chapter.
Ino let out a yawn and stretched. She could see concern already forming on her friend's face. A natural thing to do on Friday after eating lunch, yawn. An unnatural reaction to a yawn, concern. Ino wanted to tell her friend that even those who lose their children sometimes yawn because they too get tired. Nothing more. Nothing less. It was a perfectly natural thing to do.
Her friend had been with her for as long as Ino could remember. A childhood friend would be an understatement. Growing up Sakura had been an extension of Ino. Twins separated at birth. If you saw one of them you could bet the other was close around. They were a package deal, until they had an intense feud in middle school. They had since patched up, but they never lost their competitive edge.
They had chosen similar paths in life. Sakura never wanted to become a doctor had ended up as a palliative pediatric nurse. Nurse in title didn't outrank doctor, but Sakura would easily prove you wrong. She was far more published and cited than Ino had ever been. Sakura was on the forefront of her field and a voice to be recon with. Much to Ino's annoyance, they were fiercely competitive either way.
Towards the end of her son's life it was Sakura that had sought to it that he could come home. Ino could never thank her friend enough for that. Ino had often been so blind to how the people around her also had lost someone they cared for. It wasn't just Ino who had lost her son. Sakura had worked so hard to ease the last few weeks Ino's son had spent with them. Sakura hadn't only done that for the sake of Ino, but also because Sakura had cared about her son. These were matters Ino still had to realize for herself. It would come to her in time. Sakura was certain and didn't blame her friend for her inward focus.
Ino looked away from Sakura's worried face. A yawn was enough to bring that face out. Always reminding Ino that she wasn't one of them. She was the one who had lost her child. Nothing was ever simple with her anymore.
"I've been thinking about selling the house."
Itachi might have been right. She was allowing herself to stay put with the ghost the memories of her son made out. The memories of what had once been a happy family. What was just her now.
Sakura's eyes sparked; this was interesting news. She slowly started to smile, like the sight of a smile would offend Ino. Ino returned the smile and put her cup down. It seemed like a step in the right direction.
"It's awfully big for just one person."
Like that Sakura's smile cracked. Ino wanted to talk about these things without spreading sadness. To her there was no sadness associated with selling that house. It was a right step. It was she needed to do to bring some closure into her life. She couldn't move on with life if she stayed put in what was the manifestation of what she once had. All the empty rooms were a reminder of how empty her life had become too.
She was done with it. It was the right step she kept repeating to herself.
"You want to go apartment looking with me?"
Ino allowed herself to send Sakura a smile. If she was supposed to move on from being the one who had lost her child and husband, she would no longer allow people to make that her identity. She needed to be someone else. Damn everyone who said otherwise, those who would talk behind her back. She wasn't done mourning; she would never be done mourning. She would never be done hurting. She still needed her life to continue. She needed to be Ino again, just Ino.
Sakura reached out her hand and placed it over Ino's. She wanted nothing more than for Ino to move on, but her friend did not know this. Sakura would walk to the end of the world for her friend to experience some relief from what she had been through. Sakura hated for her friend to experience something life that. Like losing your child. Sakura didn't have any children of her own, so she would never fully understand. She still knew, she still knew the pain. She had seen it in the eyes of parents, family, she had seen it in the halls so many times, and she had seen what her best friend had been through, what she was still struggling with. It was only natural that Sakura would see a thousand run down apartments with her friend. She'd view them twice if it would help.
"Have you thought about where you want to move?"
Ino nodded, letting the conversation progress and it felt like something they could have done before she had lost her child. Before Ino had become someone else, someone that was not herself.
"Closer to the hospital would be great."
She had a small commute. The hospital was closer to the city center, that's not where families normally live. Her family was not urban like that. She had gone for the stereotype with a house right outside the city. House, yard and neighborhood committee. She really hated that neighborhood committee though. Always complaining about her yard being too lush. She had allowed it to die now, so that was the new problem. She had stopped listening to their complaints and reading their letters long ago.
"Ooo, you're coming back to the city?"
Ino nodded and took another sip of her coffee. Sakura too was drawn into the normality of the conversation. She let her tongue slip.
"We're both finally single and in the city, it's time to make up for what we loss under student days!"
Sakura immediately gasped and placed a hand in front of her mouth. Ino looked at her for a second that lasted the remainder of their shift Sakura felt. Ino processed. Sakura regretted her words. She was pushing. Ino was still processing. They were both single and would be in the city. Ino opened her mouth and let her head fall back. She was laughing. She was laughing with all her hearts content. She was laughing. Her laughter caused attention. It was loud. Eyes were on her. The blond doctor was laughing again. Laughing with the pink haired nurse. It was like something in the cafeteria finally fell back into place.