Ange arrived home from work early. She was so excited to have managed to get away an hour early today and wanted to go and surprise Kisaiya. Other than the Tuesday night, the girl had continued to be really distant. She didn't speak about school or anything really with Ange. Ange was sure she wasn't speaking to anyone and this worried her.
Ange walked into the living room and noticed that the girl wasn't there. She heard water running from the main bathroom so guessed the girl was having a shower. Deciding to surprise the girl, she walked into Kisaiya's bedroom.
As she walked into the bedroom, she noticed a book on the bed. Curiosity overruled her and she walked towards the book. She picked up the closed book and flicked through it. She noticed it was a diary. She was curious but knew to respect the girl's privacy. She was glad to see the girl had continued to write about the last week or so.
She flicked through and was drawn to a page near the end of the book. She opened it at the page and words were drawn out at her.
I hate my life
I deserve to be dead
I wish I was dead
Kill me know
Unlovable
Slut
Burden
Pathetic
Baby
Always get in the way
Retard
The list went on and on. Ange knew that it had gone to far and that she really needed to speak to her niece about this.
Ange heard the water turn off and about 5 minutes later, the door opened and Kisaiya walked into the bedroom. She simply had a towel wrapped around her obviously not expecting Ange to be home early.
"We need to talk" Ange said as the girl entered the room. Kisaiya froze when she noticed what her aunt was holding. She turned around and ran straight back into the bathroom.
Ange was quickly to her feet and went behind the girl. She cursed when she remembered she had put a temporary lock on the bathroom door and it could only be unlocked from the inside.
"Sweetie, we need to talk and you are not getting away from this. I will sit outside this door until you are ready" Ange said. She didn't hear any movement.
"I want you to remember that I love you and what you are going through is so so hard but you are none of the things you have written" Ange said.
"I know you might feel it just now but that is why it is so important that we speak about this so that you can see exactly what is going on. You have done nothing wrong, you are a child" Ange said.
"We don't need to speak just now but I am here" Ange said knowing to give the girl some time. She sat outside the door for 10 minutes and still didn't hear a sound.
Ange felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and looked at it.
Hey are you still in the hospital? Fancy hanging out tonight? Friday night movie?x
Ange read the text and thought for a moment. Of course she wanted Chloe around but she knew she needed to deal with Kisaiya. She needed to speak to Chloe about Evan. She wanted to find out what was going on. Her daughter had told her about the multiply phone calls, texts and flowers he was sending her. It worried her.
I got away early but come around. I could do with your help actually x
Ange replied knowing that no matter what Chloe and Kisaiya had a good relationship and Chloe might be the only one to get through to Kisaiya. Ange sat for another 10 minutes waiting for Chloe to arrive and she did.
"What's going on?" Chloe asked as she threw her bag on the sofa. Ange handed the book to Chloe and opened it at the right page. Chloe's eyes widened as she read the words her cousin had written.
"I can't get her to come out the bathroom now" Ange whispered and Chloe nodded.
"Do you want me to try?" Chloe asked and Ange nodded.
"You try and I'll go and make so food" Ange said and Chloe nodded. She waited until Ange was in the kitchen.
"Hey Kiz, it's just me, Chloe. Please can you open the door and let me in" Chloe begged.
"I just want to make sure you are okay. You don't have to speak to me or mum but we need to find you someone you can talk to" Chloe explained.
"I don't want to talk to anyone else" Kisaiya whispered.
"Then will you speak to me?" Chloe asked. Kisaiya nodded her head softly. She knew that Chloe couldn't hear her but knew she would understand with the next movement. She gently opened the door slightly, just enough for Chloe to squeeze in.
"Do you want to stay in here for a bit?" Chloe asked and Kisaiya nodded.
"You must be freezing only in that towel" Chloe said as she sat down against the door next to her cousin. Kisaiya leant in towards her cousin and Chloe put her arm around Kisaiya and let her curl into her.
"Do you want to speak about what my mum found?" Chloe asked softly and Kisaiya shrugged.
"Just wrote how I felt" Kisaiya explained.
"Are these new feelings or have you felt like this for a while" Chloe asked softly.
"New…. since like it happened" Kisaiya said and Chloe nodded.
"How does it make you feel?" Chloe asked.
"Just like out of control and that I am a bad person" Kisaiya said.
"But you aren't a bad person" Chloe said.
"I feel dirty now though and and" Kisaiya said starting to panic as her breathing got faster.
"Hey, you just need to take deep breaths, good girl" Chloe said as she calmed Kisaiya down before she had a panic attack.
"How have you been dealing with these feelings recently?" Chloe asked and Kisaiya shrugged.
"Just like writing stuff down" Kisaiya said and Chloe nodded.
"Does it help?" Chloe asked and Kisaiya shrugged. Honestly, it didn't help but she didn't know what else to do.
"I just feel so negative about myself" Kisaiya said looking down.
"You haven't thought about hurting yourself or anything have you?" Chloe asked softly and Kisaiya just hid into herself.
"Kiz, this is important. Please speak to me" Chloe said.
"Sometimes it just makes me feel better and releases the pain" Kisaiya said.
"What do you do?" Chloe asked.
"Can you show me?" Chloe asked when she didn't get a response from her cousin.
"Not in just a towel" Kisaiya admitted not saying a straight no.
"Let's go through to your bedroom then" Chloe said as she guided the girl through to her room. She turned around and let the girl put her pyjamas on.
"Show me?" Chloe demanded. Kisaiya gently turned around. She pulled her trousers down slightly and showed Chloe the cuts on her legs.
"Right, some of these need to be cleaned" Chloe said as she walked them back to the bathroom to get the first aid kit her mum had. Chloe made quick work tidying up the cuts. Kisaiya looked at her cousin, Chloe's whole body language had changed since Kisaiya told her.
"Was I wrong to tell you?" Kisaiya asked nervously so unsure of her cousin's change.
"No, sorry" Chloe mumbled but this worried Kisaiya.
"No I shouldn't have told you. I'm sorry, you can go and see your mum. Leave me, I'm so stupid for telling you" Kisaiya started rattling on.
"No, stop. I'm sorry sweetie. I just got a fright. I self harmed. Well I still do sometimes so I know how you feel and I just don't want to sit telling you how wrong it is when it's something I do too" Chloe explained. Kisaiya wasn't expecting that at all.
"Now remember we spoke about how you can speak to me and mum separately and we would not speak about it together unless you or someone else is at harm. Well this is something I can't keep from mum. We have to tell her" Chloe said and reluctantly Kisaiya nodded.
"Come on, sweets let's get it over with" Chloe said putting her arm around Kisaiya.
"By the way, Mum is amazing, she is so supportive with me and I know she will be the same with you" Chloe explained and Kisaiya nodded.
"Hey, can we talk?" Chloe asked and Ange nodded.
"Let's take a seat" Ange said as they walked into the living room.
"So we have spoken a little but I said that Kisaiya must tell you because it was a promise we made earlier and I believe she is at harm" Chloe said and Ange instantly became worried.
"At harm? In what way?" Ange asked.
"Kis, tell mum what you told me?" Chloe said looking at the girl.
"Just like sometimes when I feel really bad and I don't know what to do. I don't do the right thing" Kisaiya mumbled unsure how to explain it to Ange.
"What do you do when you feel bad?" Ange asked softly placing a hand on the girl's leg.
"Do you maybe want to show mum?" Chloe asked and Kisaiya nodded. She stood up and pulled her trousers down slightly.
"Right, well we do need to try and find a different way for you to cope. Anytime you feel like doing this I want you to come and find me. I will sit with you until the feeling goes away. We don't have to talk, just let me be there" Ange explained and Kisaiya nodded.
"Come here" Ange said as she pulled Kisaiya into her arms.
"Chloe can you go and serve the food please" Ange asked and Chloe nodded.
"I'm here for you. I don't want to push you too much tonight but we do have a lot to speak about. I really hope that you will start to relax around me and we can have good conversations and get you the help you need" Ange explained and Kisaiya nodded.
So what do you think? I will do more Chloe/Ange/Evan soon too. So should Chloe open up to Kisaiya or close off? What should Ange speak to the girl about tomorrow? Please review