Author's Note:
Anything in full italics is Gail. And, bloody hell, writing a harlequinesque fish fantasy was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be!
Nairobi | Santa Monica
Monday 11.30am | Sunday 10.30pm
"Fishboy!"
"Hey!"
"Still awake?"
"Yeah. I wasn't expecting you to call. Meeting not happening?"
"It's happening, but I was thinking about what you said. It's still Sunday night there, so we're still in time for Gail's fantasy."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Thought I'd send you off to sleep happy."
"Okay. Want me to start?"
He sounded so gleeful she almost felt bad.
"No, I've got this."
"You do?"
"Yeah. Put a lot of thought into it."
"You did?"
"Mhmmm. Ready?"
"Yeah."
"I'm going to do voices, okay?"
"There are voices?"
"You, me, Gail."
"It's a live action fantasy?"
"Who's telling this story?"
"You are. Sorry."
"Okay. Here goes. It's called Living vicariously: a goldfish fantasy."
Danny snickered.
"Reel it in, fishboy!"
"Was that the first line?"
"That was a .. regrettable turn of phrase."
"Okay, sorry. I'll be quiet now."
"Thank you. Hey!"
"Hey!"
"Oh my God, Danny, stop!"
"You said hey the way you always say it. I thought you were talking to me."
"No more talking, okay? Stuff a sock in your mouth if you have to."
"Now there's a thought for a fantasy."
"Do you want to hear this story or not?"
"Yes."
"Hey!"
"Wanna have dinner?"
"I remember this!"
"Danny!"
"Sorry," he mumbled. "I got excited. Wasn't sure which memory you were going to pick."
"Danny, so help me?"
"Got it. Sssshhh."
"Hey!"
"Wanna have dinner?"
"With you?"
"Yes."
"I have to read a report on sex education."
"Hey!"
"I'm anticipating any joke you could possibly make right now and I'm not finding any of them funny."
"You know, eventually you're going to have to go on a date with me. You can't just keep grabbing me and kissing me.
"I didn't grab -
"Well you can, I'm not gonna mind or anything."
"I didn't grab you, you grabbed me .." CJ said as she stood up.
"First time. Second, third, and fourth times you grabbed me."
"Hello?! Second, third, and fourth time? Where was I?"
"All week long, just randomly grabbing me and kissing me."
"Atta girl! Grabbing and kissing. There's hope for you yet."
"Like I said, I applaud the spirit, but there's better things ahead .. as I'm sure you're about to read."
"Tell him about pages twenty seven through thirty three, CJ. He'll enjoy thinking about what girls can do."
"Wait."
"Tie action. This is gonna be good. Okay .. small intake of breath from both of them as they break apart. Oh come on!"
Gail looked forlornly after Danny as the door closed behind him.
"Listen to this, Gail. The average age for initiating sexual activity has remained around seventeen or eighteen since the early nineties. The net effect, this report concludes, is a substantial increase in premarital sex."
"Premarital sex, yes. The kind you should be having a lot of!"
"You okay there, Gail?" CJ asked as she peered into the bowl.
"No, I'm not okay! What kind of lame ass sendoff was that? You can go now? What is this, the Principal's office? And you had the audacity to look at me before you sat down, too? And then you just went back to the report like nothing just happened in here! What's the matter with you!?"
"You look a little bit agitated. Did Danny make you nervous touching your bowl?"
"You're making me nervous! What kind of a woman in her prime lets that go out the door?"
"You know, abstinence-based curricula often reinforces gender stereotypes about female passivity and male aggressiveness," CJ mumbled as she made notes in the report.
She peered at Gail again.
"You're moving around an awful lot. Did I forget to feed you? Are you hungry?"
"I'm hungry for action, CJ! Why can't you be like the women in the stories? You know, Margaret's gals with their red leather and their whips or Marni's vampire novel. Even though I think she picked it because the girl the vampire bit was called Claudia. What's the matter with you? He was right here and Carol went home a while ago."
"Marriage, and delaying sex until at least adulthood, are good goals," CJ huffed as she made more notes in the margin.
"You're an adult, you don't need to delay anything, and I need to live vicariously through you. Bonnie and Ginger are driving me nuts with their Arab sheikhs, Italian counts and Greek tycoon Harlequin nonsense. Lady Chatterley got some, the lady in Carol's book with the blindfold and a fridge full of food got some. The people in Donna's Regency novels? They got some, too!"
It became clear that CJ wasn't paying any attention, so Gail skulked around her bowl.
When she couldn't take it anymore, she swam up to the side of the bowl.
"Inquiring minds need to know, CJ. I only saw one kiss after State of the Union. Where does that fall chronologically? Was it number two, number three, number four? And for the record, whatever number kiss that was in here two days ago, it was lame too! You need help, my friend."
CJ took a break after a while.
"I should have gone to dinner with Danny, " she said conversationally to Gail as she tossed the report aside and picked at the wilted salad left over from lunch.
Gail shook a fin.
"Are you agreeing with me?" CJ asked with a small laugh as she ran her finger across the bowl. "I think the kissing needs to stop, too. It's getting out of hand."
Gail came to a hard stop in the middle of the bowl
"You call that out of hand? You need to beg them to let you into the group!"
"One of these days he's gonna come in here and I'm gonna jump him, Gail."
"Couldn't you have jumped him tonight while you had motive, opportunity .. and an eager audience?"
"It will get messy and all kinds of angsty. My reputation will be in tatters, he'll get fired. And then it won't go anywhere because we'll be too busy blaming each other. What do you think? "
CJ laid her chin on her crossed wrists and seemed to be waiting for an answer.
"I think I would enjoy watching you jump him. In fact, let me tell you how tonight should have gone down .. for future reference."
...
Danny walked in and invited CJ to dinner.
She turned him down in favour of a date with a sex ed report.
Dismayed, but not deterred, the plucky reporter pointed out that after all the grabbing and kissing that had been taking place, a date would have to follow at some point. He made it clear that he didn't mind the manhandling, and then moved on to the most uninspiring small talk in the history of small talk.
Advance men, helicopters, a beach full of pebbles, golf. And sand traps.
CJ shared his concern for a hot second, and then yanked him towards her for a kiss that did not last nearly long enough, but ended in an intake of breath at both ends.
"You can go now," she said as she fixed his tie.
"No problem," he said as he half stumbled away.
Somewhere in the background the phone rang, but CJ ignored it.
CJ regretted her decision as soon as he had moved out of arm's reach and yanked him back by his suspenders.
"Stay right there."
It took her seconds to close the blinds in her office, and when she was done she shrugged her jacket onto her chair and took up her position in front of him again.
"These are buttons right, not clips?" she asked as she inserted fingers into the waistband of his pants.
"You could just slide them off my shoulders," Danny said, looking directly into her eyes to see how far she was planning to go.
"What would be the fun in that?" she whispered before darting her tongue into his ear as she unbuttoned the suspenders at the waistline.
She went after his tie next, and then unbuttoned his shirt far down enough that she could run her fingers over his skin.
"Feel free to start working on my clothes whenever your wits return to you. My shirt's already half undone as it is."
She revelled in the feel of the shirt and tank top straps sliding off her shoulders but wasn't ready for the feel of him pushing her breasts together and burying his face in them. She gasped and tumbled backwards against the shelving units as he ran his tongue up her cleavage.
One hand undid the buttons on her suit pants, the other one insinuated itself between her underwear and her bottom.
"Do you want to lock the door?" Danny asked.
"No. The risk factor is a turn on."
"You want to know a turn on for me?"
She had his shirt off completely now, and was running her hands all over his shoulders.
"Yeah," she said as she stepped out of her pants.
"When I fantasize about you, you say my name over and over."
"Danny," she said as he suckled gently on a nipple.
"Just like that."
She fumbled with his pants until he took pity on her and divested himself of whatever clothing he had left.
"Floor? Sofa?"
"I don't think I can handle friction burn on top of all the nonsense in the sex ed report."
"Sofa then."
CJ shimmied out of her underwear and let him roll her tank top down her waist and off her legs before he led her to the couch.
The feel of his knees against the underside of her thighs was electric, but watching him stroke himself with one hand while looking straight into her eyes was almost her undoing.
"I don't want our first time to be on a sofa in your office," he whispered.
"Okay, but I need to touch you and I need you to touch me."
"And I need you to look at me while we do that."
The intake of breath wasn't shallow now.
It rose and fell as they stroked each other; punctuated only by his name falling off her lips at regular intervals.
"Danny .."
CJ became aware of several things at once.
She was completely soaked, she was throbbing mercilessly, and she wanted desperately to hear Danny moaning and falling apart at the other end of the line.
But Danny was silent - and it took her another moment to realize that there was dead air on the line and that the hotel phone was still ringing in the background.
"Hello?"
"Hey! The line dropped. I've been trying to call back since then. I heard as far as me stumbling away. What happened next?"
CJ groaned as she fell back against the mattress.
"I'll email it to you."