Chapter 11

"Darcy is doing what?" thundered the Earl of Matlock, Col. Fitzwilliam's father and Darcy's uncle. "How dare some penniless fortune hunting chit think to wiggle her chest and beddings in front of my nephew and," he roared

Rising angrily, Col. Fitzwilliam said coldly, "I suggest you recant your statements about Miss Bennet."

Seeing the anger in her youngest son's eyes, Lady Matlock said shrewdly to him, "You approve of this girl don't you?"

"If it were any other man then Darcy, I would have eagerly offered my own name to restore her reputation after Lady Catherine compromised it," Col. Fitzwilliam said firmly. "I had a brief period of envisioning my own martial felicity with her by my side before I realized, Darcy was not just infatuated but deeply in love with her. I could never allow a lady to come between us. To have offered my name, if she accepted due to the position Lady Catherine placed her in, would have destroyed Darcy. Miss Bennet has my approbation."

"What does this chit have? Diddeys of gold to have both you and Darcy so hot and bothered over her?" the Earl coarsley demanded.

"Fredrick!" exclaimed his wife in chastisment.

"It is a suitable question," Lord Matlock grumbled. "She must have some sort of physical enticement that has both our nephew and son eager to sink their rogers into her."

"While that type of talk may be acceptable at your club, it is not acceptable in my drawing room. Nor about your future niece," Lady Matlock decreed with authority.

"Namby pamby world these days. In my younger days we were not such prudes," the Earl said. "They are both healthy young males. I would be more concerned if they did not wish to sink their pricks, ballocks deep, into her. I would imagine she is comely enough to inspire their rogers to rise," The earl said mostly to get a rise out of his wife. He had not been the first born and had spent some years in the Navy before inheriting and enjoyed using coarse speech to flustrate his countess. At her frown, he added with a smirk, "Would you rather he elope with a girl he cannot get a cockstand up for? If he is randy enough to elope with her, those babies you are so eager for our sons and nephew to provide should arrive. He's upright enough he won't be tupping her in the carriage until the deal is sealed. The boy deserves to have a little bit of fun. He might enjoy bending her over the sofa during a ball or two like we-"

"Fredrick! " Lady Matlock interrupted him sharply with. While she enjoyed their physical relationship she did not want him forgetting himself and sharing details with their son.

Col. Fitzwilliam wished to disappear. His father was often vulgar, less so when out than when at home with just the family, but due to his position in society many excused his crude language that emerged in public. He knew his father could be more circumspect, his language was not as coarse when Georgiana was around, even though it had been a near thing a few times. The Earl merely considered it his progative and enjoyed shocking individuals with his speech. Col. Fitzwilliam devoutly hoped his mother would convince her husband to censor his language when meeting Elizabeth. Her having to deal with Lady Catherine was bad enough, one of his father's more colorful compliments would convince her that Darcy's relatives were fit for bedlam.

"I assume Darcy understands the importance of establishing his wife in society after eloping with her. What kind of girl is Miss Bennet? Other then the type to agree to an elopement?" Lady Matlock asked, resigned to the fact her nephew would be married when she next saw him.

"Well, she did not exactly agree to the elopement," Col. Fitzwilliam began.

"What?" Lady Matlock demanded.

"Well, Darcy really loves her, but because Lady Catherine made her promise not to engage herself to Darcy, he couldn't propose and then take her to Scotland. She is not the type to go back on her word. So we both agreed he should not tell her about the elopement, especially because well, had Lady Catherine not have interferred she currently would have been more inclined to turn Darcy down than accept when he asked her to marry him. Which he was already planning on doing before yesterday. Miss Bennet, I understand, believed that they disliked each other and she is not mercenary. She would not have engaged herself to a man she disliked, but with expsure to him I believe her dislike will change and the two are ideally suited to each other."

The earl let out a loud guffaw of amusement and said, "I take it back, she is not a penniless fortune hunter. The ladies of the ton have flaunted their assets at Darcy for years. The matrons and widows to bed him and the young misses to marry and bed him. He is the hunter, cross eyed from lust with his balls aching to release and his prick hard while she is his nubile prey. He had better rut on her as soon as the ceremony is over. A good session grunting and groaning over his new wife will be just the ticket. Have her screaming in pleasure and she might forgive him for kidnapping her. I, for one, am looking forward to meeting her, if he ever lets her out of his bed once he gets her there."

Ignoring his sire, Col. Fitzwilliam addressed his mother and said, "Can Darcy count on your help to introduce his wife to society?"

"Yes. I just hope he has not made a mistake," she said.

"He hasn't," Col. Fitzwilliam assured her. "Miss Bennet is perfect for him."

"I imagine so, if he chose her. I meant by concealing his intentions. No woman enjoys being played for a fool."

"Darcy is not playing her for a fool. He just needs a bit of time to convince her he is right for her. She is clever, I am sure once she knows him better she will come to the same conclusion."

"Let her have a taste of his cock. He knows how to wield it. A satisfied wife will overcome her resentment about any union and even come to enjoy a spouse she would not have choosen," the earl said sagely. His wife had not wished to marry him, having been betrothed to his elder brother before his passing, but her father had wanted the connection and the two had married. Her passionate enjoyment of her wifey duties had allowed her to develop a strong affection for him. She would never admit it, but he knew that she was aroused by his crude language. A few more well placed words and he would have her panting and ready to bend over the sofa as soon as their son was out the door. He knew his prim and proper wife would lock the door and he could cajole her into stimulating him as she sought the release she knew he would provide. In over thirty years of marriage he had kept her satisfied and she had never turned to another.

"Darcy is not in lust with her, he is in love with her. He would not appreciate you insinuating otherwise," Col. Fitzwilliam said. He wanted his parents to understand just how Darcy felt about her. So they would realize they had to accept her with open arms or lose Darcy.

"Ho, I did not say he was not in love with her. Does not mean he can not be in lust with her as well. A man can dream about dipping his prick into the woman he loves soft custom-house, sliding it in and out, as he plays with her femine notch with his fingers, stroking and rubbing. Pumping into her, filling her with his roger and then pulling it back. Teasing her with the tip of it, until she is moaning and shivering in sensation and anticipation. Mark my words, he wants to stuff her full of his pego and-"

"I am sure our son as better things to do today then listen to you go on," Lady Matlock said cutting her husband's discription off.

"Just remember Darcy loves Miss Bennet and if he feels you are anything less then welcoming, and proper, "Col. Fitzwilliam added, with a pointed look at the Earl, " he will keep her, and himself, as well as Georgiana, away. I know you both care for him, do not alienate him."

"Your father knows how to behave in company. I will ensure he does so," Lady Matlock declared. Turning to her husband she said, "Won't you, Fredrick?"

"Even if she has the biggest, juciest, bounciest dugs man as ever seen I will refrain from complimenting her on them," the Earl said with a wink and then in a more serious tone he said, "If she means that much to Darcy, I am prepared to appreciate her for other things than her form. He would not choose an idiot for his bride, just as much as I know he would not choose woman dull in face and form either. We wont lose your favorite nephew's society, my dear. After all as much as I enjoy womanly beauty and bounty, I cannot say I care for the rakehells your brother and sister have raised. I am raunchy and colorful, but they are as dissipated as Darcy and our sons are honorable. I would much rather claim Darcy as my nephew than them."

Author's note: And now thanks to the Earl all the wonderfully funny raunchy regency slang can be used. To quote the A-team movie, I love it when a plan comes together. I did mention I had a plan to bring the raunchiness into the story in later chapters, so say hello to the Earl of Matlock.