Chapter 13
"And did you enjoy the Cotswolds?" Darcy ask stiffly, attempting to make conversation with the gentlemen next to him.
"It was pretty as a picture. Pretty as a picture, I tell you," his wife said with enthusiasm.
"Right-o, a picture. Bought a small picture to bring home with us to remember it," the gentleman said.
"What scene is depicted in it?" Elizabeth asked anticipating the answer.
"Oh a hill of course. It is a very pretty hill. Almost as pretty as the real hills that were as pretty as a picture, " the wife exclaimed with enthusiasm.
"Hills are very pretty," Darcy said unsure of what else to say. Small talk with strangers was not his forte, but he hoped to improve in this aspect for Elizabeth. Searching his mind he said, "Did you see many interesting things?"
"Oh yes! Ever so many. The hills! The Cotswolds were full of them, just full of them!"
"Hills are quite picturesque," Elizabeth said imlishly with a beaming smile at Darcy.
"So picturesque!" exclaimed the wife. "Pretty as a picture."
"So we bought one," the husband said happily. "A picture, not one of the Hills. Though there is a hill in our picture."
"A very pretty hill," the wife said bobbing her head sagely with enthusiasm.
"How wonderful?" Darcy said uncertainly. Prior to Elizabeth he would never have left himself exposed for almost the past quarter hour to the couples mortifying circular conversation, but he was determined to persevere and Elizabeth was clearly amused by the couple, her eyes were sparkling and she was smiling in delight at the ridiculousness of the conversation. "Was this your first visit to the Cotswolds?"
"Oh my, yes! And it was as pretty as a picture," the wife exclaimed.
"We were tempted to buy a second picture that also had a very picturesque hill in it," the husband said with enthusiasm.
"The hill was on the left. Our hill is on the right," his wife informed them. "Where would we put a picture with a hill on the left? Though it was very pretty."
"Yes, why would an artist paint the hill on the left?" Elizabeth said impishly. "I wonder what he was thinking?"
"Yes! If he would have painted it on the right we would have bought it," assured the wife.
"That we would have," the gentleman said and glancing at his watch, he said, "Well my dear, we must be getting a move on if we wish to make good time."
With an exchange of good byes, the parties separated and entered their respective coaches. When Elizabeth and Darcy's eyes met, both began to laugh hysterically, Mrs. Wiffle chortling along as well.
"Oh someday I must see the hills of the Cotswolds," Elizabeth said wiping her eyes.
"Not the hills on the left though," Darcy said dryly. "That would never do."
…
As the coach came to a stop outside at his Uncle's estate, the man himself came out to greet them.
"Darcy my boy!" Darcy's Uncle Edmund called out. "I thought you were in Kent with the old bat." Edmund Darcy had served in the Navy with his other Uncle, the Earl of Matlock. He had craved adventure and did not wish to settle down onto the estate his parents had for him. First his father and then his elder brother George, Darcy's father, had agreed to manage it until he was ready to retire. When his best friend became the heir to the Earldom of Matlock, he had decided to leave behind the Navy as well. It was due to their friendship during their navy years that George Darcy met the much younger Lady Anne Fitzwilliam before she was out. As soon as she came out, he proposed to her.
"Hello, Uncle Edmund. I hope our arrival is not an imposition. I am hopeful that you can accommodate our party overnight," Darcy said.
"Not at all my boy. A pleasure to see you Mrs. Wiffle. Darcy must I beg an introduction to this enchanting creature?" Edmund said jovially.
"This is Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Miss Bennet, my uncle Mr. Edmund Darcy."
"I am surprised to meet yet another one of Mr. Darcy's relations. I must say I hope you ressemble the colonel rather than Lady Catherine," Elizabeth said her eyes twinkling.
"That old harridan? Perish the thought," Edmund assured her. "Unlike her I do not eat small children for breakfast and use their bones to pick my teeth. I have long since forgiven my late sister-in-law and my best friend for their unfortunate relation. We cannnot all choose our relations, now can we? No one in their right mind would choose her, unless they enjoy being embarressed by her ridiculous statements. That is where her true proficiency lies."
"I believe she is a great proficient at determining what she would have been proficient at if she had learned, " Elizabeth said laughing.
"It is a pleasure to meet such a lovely creature as you," Edmund said with a wink. "Whatever corner of the world Darcy unearthed you in, I must visit. All are the ladies there as charming?"
"I am from Hertfordshire, Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth said with a smile.
"I wish someone would have told me about the delights to be found in Hertfordshire twenty years ago and I would not be a bachelor now. Of course twenty years ago you likely were not yet a babe in arms. Hmmm. I do not suppose you are just a very young looking forty or so?"
Elizabeth laughed at this and said, "I am not yet one and twenty."
"I have often been told I have the stamina and humors of a much younger man. Could I persuade you that I am a bare few years older then you?"
"Give or take about thirty," Darcy commented. He had forgotten what an outrageous flirt his uncle was when faced with a pretty face. Factor in Elizabeth's lively wit and his uncle might try and join them on the trip to Scotland so that he could extend his time flirting with her.
Offering Elizabeth his arm, Edmund said, "You, my charming miss, are a welcome addition to my household. I should insist that my nephew always bring such beguiling company with him when he visits. My housekeeper will see you to a guest chamber while I have a word with my favorite nephew."
"I am your only nephew," Darcy reminded him.
"And if you had arrived here with that orange horror in tow, I would have barred the door against you and you would be my least favorite nephew. I might have let her brother in, poor chap deserves a break from her harping. But seeing as how you brought Miss Bennet, you are my favorite. "
"You are familiar with Miss Bingley?" Elizabeth said unthinking.
"Ah, and evidently I am not the only one. She is gruesome, is she not?"
"I should not say," Elizabeth said.
"Well I will say it for you. She is a grasping, simmpering female who looks like she has dung under her nose."
…
"I have met the next Mrs. Darcy," Edmund declared once he and Darcy where alone in his study. "Alas, she is not to be Mrs. Edmund Darcy, but Mrs. Fitzwilliam Darcy. I do believe I am half in love with the girl already."
"So I noticed," Darcy said dryly.
"I noticed you did not present her to me as your betrothed. You are not a slow-top. What gives?"
"I cannot propose to Elizabeth yet. It is a matter of honor," Darcy said and went on to explain the entire situation to his uncle.
When he alluded to the situation Elizabeth was in when he caught up with the post coach, Edmund said, "You will allow me to take care of them. I believe some mandatory service in His Majesty's Navy will suffice. I will contact the right person. I know one that will be pleased to instruct them in the finer points of life at sea and the way one should treat a lady. That errand will unfortunately keep me from joining you on your trip to Scotland."
"I was unaware that I had invited you to Scotland."
"That delightful young lady you showed up with was invitation enough. Announcing your intention to marry her was further invitation. She will be good for Georgiana."
"I know."
"She will be good for you as well."
"If I can convince her to marry me," Darcy reminded his uncle.
"Well after my particular errand, I will plan on meeting you in London to offer my support in establishing the delightful new Mrs. Darcy," Edmund said grinning. "I find myself eager to take to the dance floor with her."
"I was not planning on going to London," Darcy said.
"Why ever not? I know you are not enamoured of the ton, but surely you recognize the importance of attending with your new wife to establish her in society. Your Aunt Miranda has managed to keep Frederick respectable all these years, she should have no problem managing your elopement. Besides there are plenty of amusements you enjoy in London. Your Elizabeth would enjoy a trip to the theater and such."
"I suspect their will be some unsavory gossip about me in town this season," Darcy said.
"Such as?"his uncle asked.
"My er, sexual endeavors at Madame - Brothel."
"You had best fill me in. Any gossip that does emerge, I am sure Frederick will ensure it shows you prowess in a positive light. There is no need to be embarrassed about your prolictivities. Men have natural urges and it is only normal that they be satisfied. No one would expect you to be a virgin and you have always been discrete."
"One of the women that I was," Darcy searched for what he wanted to say.
"One of the women that serviced you?" Edmund prompted.
"I let my resentful temper get the better of me. She made a suggestion I found offensive and well I decided to deny her any sexual release, while I had my fill," Darcy said hanging his head.
"That is not so very bad. Often the women do not achieve sexual release with their customers, depending on who they are servicing. What was this suggestion? "
Flushing Darcy said, "That I use my mouth on her while she attended to me with her mouth."
"That was forward of her. Most of the girls there know better then to make suggestions for their own pleasure, unless they already know it is something the gentleman they are servcing enjoys. I can see you not wanting to preform like that for a whore you were paying for. So how did you react? And do not be missish. You will need to either tell me or Frederick since there is evidently the potential for unsavory gossip you claim."
"I had her use her mouth on me through multiple realses, experimenting with different positions."
"Nothing wrong there. Every man enjoys having his pego attended to by a female's mouth and experiencing the sensations in a variety of attitudes is pleasurable. "
"I requested the services of a second female. I positioned her on the bed so that the first could use her mouth on her like she had wished me too."
"That had to be an erotic sight. I hope you did not merely watch. Having your prick in a woman's mouth while she has her own release is enjoyable."
"I did not merely watch," Darcy said swallowing, feeling unclean as he remembered having sexual relations with someone that was not his beloved. "I pushed my manhood into the second one's mouth and sought release again."
"Good. Good. That is not scandalous activity with a whore for a gentleman in our circle."
"Then I watched them fondle each other, stopping them before the one I was displeased with could attain satisfaction and mounted the second woman, with a french letter on of course."
"And she screamed her sexual release multiple times while you pounded into her?"
" Yes."
"And then?"
"I wished to drive my point home and had them take turns on my manhood with their mouths. I um enjoyed how each used different techniques switching between them as they stimulated me and after releasing in ones mouth, pushed my cock into the other's and came again from her continued ministrations."
"What next?"
"I cleaned myself off, dressed, leaving my breeches unbuttoned so I could be attended to orally one last time and had my final orgasim. Then I buttoned my breeches, left my usual tip, one for each whore, so I guess it was twice the usual amount, and departed."
"The first female, was she excited about your roger?"
"Yes. She was enthusiastic. During the first time I could tell she was aroused by my manhood growing in her mouth. It was her excitement that gave me the idea of denying her any release while I enjoyed her services to me. She was very aroused during the proceedings. I knew she wanted to feel release. When I had the second woman stop touching her before mounting I could tell she was engulfed in unfulfilled need."
"Hmmm. I don't suppose you remember if you encountered her again?"
"I did happen to recognize her and the other female servicing another customer in a very similar manner the next time I was leaving the premises."
"Her face was burried in the girl's fruitful vine again? A man never forgets that first image of a female servicing another female."
"Yes. A rounder gentleman was having congress with her from behind and watching. I knew she would find no sexual release and was glad. She noticed me and I looked coldly at her. Then I sought out the madame and made sure to tell her I never wanted that particular females services again."
"And once she found out your pego would never be burried inside her, her resentment began. She had a front row seat to the pleasure your prick provided one of her compatriots and found out it would not ever do the same for her. Eventually some society lady that craves you either for an affair or marriage found a prostitute finally willing to speak about her experience with you. Was this the first time you had this whore's service?"
"I do not know," Darcy admitted.
"Well that does not matter. She would know about your preferences from the other girls. She just happened to be the one disappointed enough to not honor your privacy contract with the Madame outside the brothel. I imagine she made a bit of coin with her information about how you liked to be pleased."
"And now there is unsavory gossip about my sexual preferences. That I prefer to be orally stimulated and" Darcy said trailing off.
"You have always been private about having your baser desires met, so the ton will feast on this story. One lady will whisper it to another, likely in conjure with how she intends to use it. And then it willl be whispered to another and another." Noticing the grimace his nephew made, Edmund said, "I take it that is how you learned about it in the first place."
"Yes," Darcy said in disgust.
"I would like to be in your position, the bored matrons of society will be offering you fallectio in a private room during every ball this season, not that I expect you to accept. There is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about in what you have told me. Most men would take considerable pride in having your sexual appetite. Trust me, you need not be embarrassed by this gossip. Go to town, show off your Elizabeth. Let your Aunt Miranda paint a veneer of respectability over your unusual mode of marrying. Yes, you will have to fend off the amorous advances of ladies made bold by believing they know how to entice you, despite your new marriage. You are no stranger of the blandishments of some society matrons. If I remember correctly, last year you found one naked waiting in your coach and had to send it off with her, while you took a hackney."
"I do not want to expose Elizabeth to the gossip," Darcy said.
"Ahhh, you are worried your beloved will be upset by it. If you do not go to town and show her off, the newest gossip will be that you are ashamed of her. Or that you did not come to town because you are using your sexual stamina to debase your bride. The gossip this whore provided in conjunction with your elopement is worse then they would have been separate. The ton thrives on scandal and innuendo. If you do not go to town they will have you using her ruthlessly to satisfy your lust. Considering the incident in Kent that she was alone with two men on a coach, they may even speculate that she is servicing you and other men at the same time. Fredrick and I have shared many things, including females. Filling a woman from both ends and pumping into her in tandem is quite an experience but not one you want the ton to believe you are doing with your wife."
"That is the type of raunchy statement I would expect from Uncle Frederick, not you," Darcy grumbled.
"Frederick and I enjoy many of the same things. It has been a year or two since we have shared a woman. Perhaps we will do so while in town this year."
Darcy shook his head, but said nothing. His Uncle Frederick had affection for his aunt and she for him, but he was aware that the Earl enjoyed the services of other women on occasion. If Elizabeth agreed to marry him he would never look to another woman, nor would he want to.
"It is imperative you take your Elizabeth to town after marrying her and show her off. Darcys are respectable. She will be a Darcy," Edmund said with authority. "As her husband you will be responsible for protecting her reputation. You will need to be seen in society this season. Directly after you marry. You cannot let the ton paint her as a loose woman or every rakehell will be propositioning her next season when you come to town. And some will not care if she says no if she has an unsavory reputation."