This one's a long one. I originally was going to wait a long time to post this since it's so long but instead I'm going to wait to post the next one since it's so long. In the meantime I'll be working on my new Lord of the Rings (Not Hobbit) fic 'Daughter of Starlight' in case anyone's interested.
As of 5/24/2018 I've fixed dialog grammatical errors and revised the chapter...again.
The ponies trudged through the mud as the company rode in a down pour. They were all cold, wet, and miserable. The only ones who didn't mind the rain were Fili, Lucy, Kili, Tony, Bilbo and Ori. Both Lucy and Tony had taken out their travel size umbrellas to shield themselves and the dwarves they were riding with. Bilbo and Ori were wearing the two raincoats the siblings had brought; Tony had given his to Bilbo since his was a bit smaller than Lucy's and Lucy had given hers to Ori.
"Got any more of those in that bag of yours?" Nori asked.
"Sorry, we've only the two of each," Lucy said.
"Glad you choose to ride with me," Fili said as he leaned down to smile at Lucy. She smiled back shyly.
"Here, Mr. Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori asked.
"It is raining, Master Dwarf, and it will continue to rain until the rain is done," Gandalf replied. "If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard."
"Are there any?" Bilbo asked.
"What?"
"Other wizards?"
"There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman, the White. Then there are the two Blue Wizards; you know, I've quite forgotten their names."
"And who is the fifth?"
"Well, that would be Radagast, the Brown."
"Is he a great Wizard or is he...more like you?" Bilbo asked. Tony didn't even try to muffle his laughter. Gandalf looked slightly offended.
"I think he's a very great wizard, in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forest lands to the East, and a good thing too, for always Evil will look to find a foothold in this world."
"I think we should take turns with those things," Nori suggested as he looked at Tony and Kili who rode next to him.
"You should've brought your own," Tony said. Lucy sighed.
"Tony, obviously these don't exist here," she said.
"That's not my fault," Tony said with a frown.
"Maybe we should share them," Lucy said but Fili shushed her.
"No need to start talking nonsense, luv."
"It won't kill you to get wet, princess," Lucy said as she rolled her eyes. Kili started snickering. Fili looked mock offended.
"I just don't want you to get sick," Fili explained. "Dwarves don't get sick from a little rain, you on the other hand... I'm just looking out for your well being."
"Alright, alright," Lucy said. "Next time it rains I'll just ride with someone else then." Fili frowned and Kili started laughing. Fili glared at his brother playfully then shook his head.
...
Later that evening, well after the rain had stopped, the group stopped to make camp. Thorin walked up Lucy who was helping Bombur get his supplies off the ponies.
"Girl." She didn't respond. "Girl." Lucy turned and raised an eyebrow at him before going back to helping Bombur. Thorin frowned. "I am speaking to you."
"Hm?" Lucy turned again. "Oh I'm sorry, I don't respond to girl. I do however respond to a little something called my name, ever heard of it?" she asked before she turned away. Thorin blinked. He sighed before closing his eyes.
"Lucy," he said. Her name sounded odd on his tongue. Lucy smiled and turned to him once more.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Follow me," he ordered. Lucy blinked but followed him a little ways away from the group before he stopped. He took out his sword and held it out to her. She looked from him to the sword and back. He rolled his eyes. "Take it."
"Uh... why?"
"You need to know how to defend yourself."
"I don't think I can use your sword even just for practice."
"Why not?" Thorin asked with a frown.
"Well, for one thing it looks really heavy," Lucy said. Thorin rolled his eyes again and held it out to her again.
"Just take the sword."
"Alright." Lucy took it and the blade automatically hit the ground with a thud making her eyes widen. "How the heck do you hold this thing?" Lucy said with a frown.
"Lift it," Thorin commanded. She tried but she was off balance and had to lower it after a few seconds. Thorin didn't exactly look surprised but rather annoyed.
"Maybe I should try something else?" she suggested with a sheepish smile.
"We'll just have to find you a lighter sword."
"Do you have one?" she asked. Thorin let out a short sigh.
"No."
"Sorry," Lucy said as she looked down at her feet.
"Just try to stay out of trouble until we can get you a sword or other means to defend yourself," he said before he took his sword back.
"I have a knife."
"A knife will do you no good against a pack of orcs," Thorin said before he walked away. Lucy sighed and sat down by the newly lit fire as Bombur started to prepare dinner. She rummaged around in her bag a bit.
"Oh good," she breathed with a small smile. Bombur looked down at her.
"Hm?" he hummed as he blinked.
"Oh, I was worried my books were damaged from all the rain this morning," she said.
"Did you say books?" Bilbo asked as he walked over. Lucy nodded.
"Bookworm," Tony muttered.
"There's nothing wrong with liking to read," Lucy said as she frowned at him.
"I agree," Bilbo said as he sat down by her. "What books do you have?"
"Oh, I'm not sure you'd recognize them," Lucy said as she pulled the three paperback books out. "What kind of books do you like?"
"Oh, anything," Bilbo said with a smile.
"I get the feeling he'd have a field day at our town's library," Tony said.
"A-A what?" Bilbo asked with a concerned frown.
"He means you'd enjoy yourself," Lucy clarified. "Our town has this gigantic library, walls and walls of books."
"How big is this library?" Ori asked.
"Oh... I'd say from..." Tony stood. "That tree with the squirrel on it back there." He said as he pointed. "To..." he turned and looked around. "That big rock way over there and from... that tree with the broken branch to...that tree," he said as he pointed.
"And it's two floors, about as tall as... four Gandalfs," Lucy said. The wizard looked over from his spot against a tree upon hearing his name.
"That's huge," Ori said with wide eyes as he came over and sat down beside Bilbo.
"And it's wall to wall with books?" Bilbo asked with his eyes equally wide. Lucy nodded.
"Yep, then there's the book shelves spread out throughout it too," she said. Bilbo's mouth fell open in shock and Lucy chuckled.
"How many books... that has to be..." Bilbo blinked as he tried to imagine how many books could possibly be in such a magnificent library.
"What books do you have?" Ori asked, bringing Bilbo out of his thoughts.
"I only brought three; wish I brought more though. They're adventure and fantasy books. I brought the first of seven Harry Potter books, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe and Peter Pan.
"What are they about?" Dori asked as he sat next to his brother.
"Oh she can tell you about all seven of the Harry Potter books," Tony said.
"Thank you, Tony," Lucy said as she gave him a look to which he gave her a thumbs up. Lucy shook her head with a slight smile. "Well Harry Potter is about a boy who learns he's a wizard and goes to a wizarding school."
"Gandalf might like that one," Bilbo said.
"These are a different kind of wizard," Lucy said. "Um, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe is about four children who are sent to the countryside during World War II. They find this wardrobe that takes them to Narnia, a fantasy world of magic, mystical beasts, and talking animals."
"We've got magic and mystical beasts," Bofur said.
"You said World War Two?" Dwalin asked with a frown.
"Oh yeah, our world sucks," Tony said. "We've had World War I, World War II, Cold War, Civil War, Revolutionary War..."
"Way to go in order, Tone," Lucy said which made Tony roll his eyes.
"There were a bunch of others but our country wasn't involved with all of them," Tony said.
"How was the war civil?" Gloin asked with a confused frown.
"Well it was our own country against itself," Tony explained. By now the rest of the other dwarves were listening, even Thorin. "North and South didn't agree for four years."
"What is the longest war your country has had?" Dwalin asked.
"The American Indian Wars lasted like 300 years," Lucy said.
"Why do you know that?" Tony asked.
"I paid attention in History class."
"Why?" Tony asked as he looked at her like she was insane.
"Because I actually wanted to graduate high school," Lucy said as she gave Tony a look. "There was a war that last 38 minutes. Our country wasn't involved but it was still the shortest war in history."
"Thirty eight minutes?" Oin asked. "Did I hear that right?"
"What are your armies like?" Gloin asked.
"Well we used to have the best out there but our uh... leader cut back," Lucy answered.
"Why?" Dwalin asked with a frown.
"Don't ask me," Lucy said with a shrug.
"What is the other book about?" Ori asked.
"Oh Peter Pan, it's about a boy never wants to grow up so he runs away to Neverland. He can fly and is friends with a fairy named Tinker Bell."
"Odd name," Dori said.
"You're one to talk," Tony muttered.
"A fairy?" Ori asked.
"Mhm," Lucy hummed.
"Your books have elves in them?" Bilbo asked.
"Well, some do, why do you ask?"
"Well you said this Peter was friends with one."
"No, I said a fairy," Lucy said with a frown.
"Oh well, Hobbits call Elves fairies," Bilbo explained.
"Oh well I mean the little tiny winged creatures," Lucy said. "They look like humans but with wings and most of the time they have pointed ears."
"How tiny are they?" Ori asked.
"Um..." Lucy held up two hands and put about four inches between them. Bilbo's eyes widened. "What's wrong? What's the smallest thing here?"
"Me," Bilbo said. "Well, Hobbits."
"Would you read us one of these books, Miss Lucy?" Ori asked.
"It might take a while and we all need sleep," Lucy said.
"This is going to be a long journey," Bofur pointed out.
"I want to learn more about your world," Kili said.
"We could alternate," Fili suggested. "Some nights Lucy can read to us and others she and Tony can tell us about their home."
"And maybe some nights she can sing us to sleep," Kili said with a smile.
"Let's not get carried away," Lucy said as she tried to hide the colour that came to her cheeks. Kili chuckled.
"So you will read to us then?" Ori asked with a smile.
"How can I say no to that face?" Lucy smiled at him. He tried to hide his smile, shyly. "Which one do you want me to start with?"
"What about that wizard?" Bilbo suggested. "I'm interested in hearing your world's type of wizards."
"Oh well, we don't have wizards actually," Lucy clarified with a sad smile.
"At least, Muggles like us wouldn't know," Tony said.
"What's a Muggle?" Kili asked.
"Oh boy," Tony muttered.
After dinner one night the next week, Ori sat down next to Lucy by the fire.
"Would you read to us some more?" he asked.
"Of course, sweetheart," Lucy said as she smiled at him. She reached into her bag for her book and a flashlight.
"How come you never call any of the rest of us that?" Kili asked as he and his brother came over to sit by them.
"I think it would sound rather weird if I called Dwalin that," Lucy said. Dwalin frowned and shook his head. "Ori's just so adorable," Lucy added making the dwarf hide a bashful smile.
"What does that make us?" Kili asked as Fili nodded, wanting to know too.
"You two are..." The two waited for her answer. "handsome."
"You hesitated," Kili pointed out before turning to his brother. "She hesitated." Fili nodded sadly.
"Guys," Lucy said and the two smiled at her as they sat down beside her. "Anyway, let's see where were we?"
"The Quidditch match," Dori reminded her.
"Right, thank you, Dori," Lucy said. He nodded with a smile.
"You going to be reading more?" Bofur asked. Lucy nodded. He, Bifur and Bombur came over at sat with the others.
"Get ready for bed," Thorin said. "Listen from your bed rolls. Fili, Kili, you're on first watch."
"Right," Fili said. The dwarves all moved to their bed rolls but most leaned on their arms to face Lucy who moved to sit against a tree. "If you want, you can lean against me," Fili whispered to her as he moved over to her. "I'm much more comfortable than a tree."
"You wouldn't mind?"
"Course not," he assured with a smile. Fili leaned against the tree then Lucy leaned back against the right side of his chest before she started to read. By the time she was through with two chapters the area was full of snoring dwarves. Lucy had been struggling to keep her eyes open for about five pages. Fili gently took the book from her hands, put the bookmark in, and placed it on the ground. "Get some sleep," he told her softly. "Take my bed roll."
"Fili... I couldn't."
"You can and you will," he insisted with a slight chuckle. Lucy, who was already having trouble keeping her head up, let her head fall onto his shoulder. "Or you could stay here," he offered with a smile as he looked down at her. She let out a soft hum as she slipped an arm around his waist. He slipped his arm around her back.
"Fee." Fili looked over at Kili who was watching the two. "You go ahead and get some sleep, I can handle watch myself." Fili glanced over to Thorin who was asleep.
"You sure?" he asked. Kili nodded.
"Yeah."
"Alright, thanks," Fili said as he smiled down at Lucy before closing his eyes.
...
The next morning Tony woke stiffly and sat up. The dwarves were packing up, quietly talking amongst themselves as per usual; he noticed Lucy asleep against Fili and found himself smiling slightly. Tony stood and brushed the dirt off his pants before he stretched his arms over his head. He looked around and noticed Ori leaning over something.
"Whacha doin' Or'?" Tony asked as he walked over. Ori glanced up at him.
"Hm? I'm documenting the journey," he said as he continued to write. Tony sat down next to him and looked at the pages.
"Why do the a's have three dots over them?" Tony asked with a frown as he pointed to one. Ori blinked and shrugged.
"Yours don't?" he asked. Tony shook his head. Ori shrugged again.
"You write about me and Lucy too?" Tony asked after a moment.
"Of course," Ori said with a smile. "I put a few of the songs the two of you've sung to us and some of the traditions we've learned."
"Traditions?" Tony asked as he tilted his head. Ori nodded.
"Lucy's told us about your world's schooling system, she told me about some of the outdoor games you play like... the one where you throw a ball and hit it with a stick."
"You mean baseball?" Tony asked.
"Yes, that was the word," Ori said before he flipped back a few pages and crossed something out. "How do you spell that?"
"B-a-s-e-b-a-l-l'," Toby spelled out. Ori nodded and wrote it down. "How come I haven't seen you writing before?" Tony asked.
"Well usually write before the sun goes down, you're either practicing with Kili or busy with something else. I didn't get to write everything last night before the sun went down so I thought I'd finish in the morning."
"Ah, okay," Tony said. "You know, if you want you could always borrow my flashlight." Ori's eyes lit up.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Thank you, Tony," Ori said with a smile.
"No problem, buddy," Tony said nudging his arm with a grin. Ori looked surprised for a moment but then his smile came back even bigger.
...
Lucy woke with her back aching slightly from the position she'd slept in. She was holding something, she held it closer before she froze; she opened her eyes and suddenly remembered where she'd fallen asleep.
"Sleep well?" Fili asked as he smiled down at her.
"I'm so sorry," Lucy gasped as she pulled away, letting go of him. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to fall asleep on you-"
"Lucy, it's alright," Fili assured her with a laugh as he watched her face flush. "I guess I'm quite comfortable," he said with a smirk.
"I'm sorry... most of the time I can't sleep unless I'm holding something," Lucy admitted. "I normally hold my bag..."
"Well, you can hold onto me whenever you need to," Fili said making Lucy's face flush again.
"Are you bothering our dear Lucy, brother?" Kili asked as he walked over with a smile.
"Of course not," Fili said but then stopped and looked to Lucy. "I'm not, am I?"
"No, no, you're fine," Lucy said giving him a smile.
"Um, Lucy?" Kili asked.
"Yes Kili?"
"May I speak to you, for a moment?" he asked as he glanced at the ground.
"Of course," she said. He held a hand out for her and helped her up before leading her away and out of earshot of his brother and everyone else. "What's the matter?" Lucy asked with a concerned frown.
"Nothing's the matter... it's just..." Kili let go of her hand to play with his fingers. "Did you mean what you said last night?" he asked as he glanced up from his hands briefly. Lucy blinked.
"What did I say?" she asked.
"That Fili and I... that I'm ...handsome?" Kili asked as he glanced at her.
"Of course I meant it," she said. "Why wouldn't I have meant it?"
"Well... no reason," he said quickly as he looked away.
"No, tell me," Lucy insisted, putting a hand on his arm when he turned to walk away. Kili hesitated.
"Well... I'm not... I don't look like other dwarves..." he said quietly. "I-I don't have a beard like Fili... my nose is..." Kili stopped as Lucy bit her bottom lip and tried not to laugh. Kili looked extremely embarrassed and went to turn away again.
"No, no, I'm not laughing at you," Lucy assured him quickly as she took one of his hands in hers. Kili looked down at her hands before looking at her. "I just don't understand what having a beard has to do with anything and I see absolutely nothing wrong with your nose." Kili blinked.
"Well... look at everyone else." He gestured to the others. "They've all got big beards and their noses aren't as small as mine," he muttered, looking at it slightly cross-eyed with a frown. "And my ears are-"
"Kili," Lucy interrupted as she put a hand on one of his cheeks and Kili swallowed as heat came to them. "I think you're very attractive, beard or no beard. And your nose is perfect," she said before lightly tapping it with a smile. Kili smiled back. "As are your ears," she said lighting stroking his hair that covered his ear.
"Thank you, Lucy," he said.
"Of course," she said before looking back at the others. "Looks like everyone's ready to go." Lucy turned to walk away but Kili grabbed her hand.
"Wait-! Lucy?"
"Hm?" Lucy hummed as she turned back to him.
"Could you... I mean would you ride with me today?" he asked with a hopeful smile.
"Sure," she said. Kili's smile grew.
"Lucy!" Fili called. The two looked over to see him waving her over.
"Um, Fili?" Lucy walked over. "I'm going to ride with Kili today, if that's okay?" Fili frowned slightly but quickly covered it up.
"Of course, why wouldn't it be? Tony, you're riding with me then," Fili said.
"Alright," Tony said with a shrug; it made no difference to him. Lucy got on Kili's pony and Kili couldn't help his grin as he got on behind her. He slid an arm around her.
"Just so you don't fall off," he explained quickly. Lucy glanced back at him.
"I know," she said with a smile.
"Just making sure," he said. Lucy nodded and face forward again. She leaned back slightly against his chest like she normally did when she rode with Fili and Kili's smile widened.
...
"Kee, that tickles," Lucy said quietly as she turned her head to look at him, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
"I don't know what you're talking about," he said with an innocent smile.
"Kee," Lucy whined as quietly as she could as she squirmed slightly. Kili chuckled slightly. Lucy put her arm over his, her hand stopping his fingers against her side. She looked back at him and he winked at her. She gave him a playful glare.
"If you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was ask," Kili said quietly as he put his hand over hers and laced their fingers together. Lucy gave him a look as she tried to hold back a smile. "What?" he asked innocently.
"You're lucky you're so cute," Lucy said making Kili grin. She smiled back as she saw his eyes light up. He gave her hand a light squeeze and she settled back against him.
A few days later, the Company arrived at an old, abandoned farmhouse that was in shambles.
"We'll camp here for the night," Thorin decided. "Fili, Kili, look after the ponies. Make sure you stay with them."
"A farmer and his family used to live here," Gandalf noted as he approached the remains of the house.
"Oin, Gloin," Thorin said.
"Aye?" Gloin responded.
"Get a fire going."
"Right you are," Gloin said.
"I think it would be wiser to move on. We could make for the Hidden Valley," Gandalf suggested. Thorin walked over.
"I have told you already, I will not go near that place," he told him.
"Why not? The elves could help us. We could get food, rest, advice."
"I do not need their advice."
"We have a map that we cannot read. Lord Elrond could help us."
"Help? A dragon attacks Erebor, what help came from the Elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls, the Elves looked on and did nothing. You ask me to seek out the very people who betrayed my grandfather and betrayed my father."
"You are neither of them. I did not give you that map and key for you to hold on to the past."
"I did not know that they were yours to keep," Thorin said. Gandalf stomped off angrily, leaving the Company.
"Everything alright? Gandalf, where are you going?" Bilbo asked.
"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense," Gandalf said.
"And who's that?" Bilbo asked.
"Myself, Mr. Baggins! I've had enough of dwarves for one day," Gandalf said.
"Come on, Bombur, we're hungry," Thorin said.
"Is he coming back?" Bilbo asked Balin. Balin looked unsure.
...
That night, Bombur had prepared a dinner of soup and the dwarves sat around eating it.
"He's been a long time," Bilbo noted as he came away from one of the supports of the house.
"Who?" Bofur asked.
"Gandalf," Bilbo said.
"He's a wizard! He does as he chooses." Bofur looked at Tony and waved him over. "Here, do us a favor: take these to the lads." Bofur handed Bilbo and Tony each a bowl of soup to take to Fili and Kili. The two looked at each other before walking away. Bombur tried to take more soup but Bofur lightly smacked his hand. "Stop it, you've had plenty," Bofur scolded. He looked towards Lucy who sat by herself, her arms on her knees and her chin on her arms, staring at the fire. "Hungry lass?" Lucy looked up, a bit in surprise. She shook her head. "You haven't eaten all day," he said as he brought her a bowl.
"Thank you," she said as she took it with a thankful smile.
"You're welcome," he said returning the smile with an even bigger one.
"Miss Lucy?" Ori asked as he came over to her.
"Yes Sweetheart?"
"Does this look like a fairy?" Ori asked as he turned his book so she could see it.
"Wow, Ori, this is amazing," Lucy said as her eyes widened. "Did... did you make me the fairy?" she asked with a smile. Ori nodded as he smiled.
"I thought that would make it prettier," he admitted. Lucy put down her bowl of food and pulled the dwarf into a hug. Ori's face flushed and Bofur started chuckling. "I'm glad you like it," Ori said once Lucy pulled back.
"I love it," she said.
"Then I want you to have it," Ori said holding it out to her.
"Oh I couldn't."
"I insist."
"Thank you, Ori," Lucy said as she took the paper. "You're the sweetest," she said before kissing his cheek.
Bilbo and Tony went out in the dark to where Fili and Kili were watching the ponies. They were staring out into the dark and didn't take the soup from the two when they held it out to them.
"I think they're broken," Tony joked as he looked up at Fili's face.
"What's the matter?" Bilbo asked.
"We're supposed to be looking out for the ponies," Kili said.
"Only we've encountered a slight problem," Fili said.
"We had sixteen."
"Now there's fourteen." They all examined the group of ponies.
"That is a problem," Tony said before the four went around to see which ponies were missing. "How do you lose two ponies?" Tony asked.
"Daisy and Bungo are missing," Kili said walking back to the others.
"Well, that's not good," Bilbo said with a nervous laugh as he noticed some large trees were recently uprooted. "That is not good at all. Shouldn't we tell Thorin?" Bilbo asked.
"Uhh, no. Let's not worry him," Fili said. "As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it," he said to Bilbo.
"Well, uh...look, some-something big uprooted these trees," Bilbo said.
"That was our thinking," Kili agreed.
"Something very big, and possibly quite dangerous," Bilbo continued.
"Hey! There's a light. Over here! Stay down," Fili said. The four of them quietly moved toward the light Fili had seen and they hid behind a log when they realized that it was a fire. Harsh laughter sounded from near the fire but their four couldn't see the source.
"What is it?" Bilbo asked.
"Trolls," Kili said.
"Trolls?" Tony asked.
"Another thing not found in your world?" Kili asked. Tony shook his head. Fili and Kili ran toward the fire, Tony behind them; Bilbo started to follow them, but returned to grab the two bowls of soup that were left on the log before going after them. Bilbo hid behind a tree as massive mountain troll walked past, toward the fire, carrying a kicking pony under each arm.
"He's got Myrtle and Minty! I think they're going to eat them, we have to do something," Bilbo said.
"Yes; you should," Kili agreed. He moved around Bilbo taking one of the bowls as he did. "Mountain trolls are slow and stupid, and you're so small."
"N-n-no-" Bilbo tried to protest.
"They'll never see you," Kili assured him.
"No, no, no..."
"It's perfectly safe! We'll be right behind you," Fili said taking the other bowl. "If you run into trouble, hoot twice like a barn owl, once like a brown owl," Fili instructed as he pushed Bilbo toward the fire. Bilbo began whispering Fili's instructions to himself, trying to remember them, but got them mixed up.
"Twice like a barn owl, twice like a brown-once like a brown? Are you sure this is a good idea?" Bilbo turned around, but Fili, Kili and Tony were already out of sight.
The three trolls, Tom, Bert, and William, sat around a fire on which a cauldron of something was cooking. Tom was the troll who brought the ponies. William had on a dirty vest. Bert was the cook and was even wearing an apron.
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow," Bert said.
"Quit yer' griping. These ain't sheep. These is West Nags!" Tom said.
"Oh, I don't like 'orse. I never 'ave. Not enough fat on them," William said.
"Well, it's better than the leathery old farmer. All skin and bone, he was. I'm still picking bits of him out of me teeth." William sneezed into the pot they had boiling over a fire.
"Oh, that's lovely, that is; a floater," Bert said.
"Oh, might improve the flavor!" Tom said.
"Ah! There's more where that came from," William said. He began to sneeze more, but Bert grabbed him by the nose. Bilbo, unseen, got behind them.
"Oh no you don't," Bert said before throwing William down.
"Ow! Ow! Ow!"
"Sit down," Bert said. William sneezed again, this time into a handkerchief he pulled out from behind him. He sniffed for a long time. Bilbo reached the pen in which the ponies were held and attempted to untie the ropes. He hid as William turned towards him.
"I hope you're gonna gut these nags. I don't like the stinky parts," William said. Bert hit William with his ladle, and William squealed in pain.
"I said sit down!" Bert said.
"I'm starving! Are we 'aving horse tonight or what?" Tom said.
"Shut your cakehole. You'll eat what I give ya'." As William pulled out his handkerchief, Bilbo saw that he was wearing a long knife in his belt. Bilbo, unable to untie the ropes restraining the ponies, attempted to get the knife from the troll.
"Shouldn't we help him?" Tony asked quietly as he turned to Kili.
"He's doing fine," Fili said.
"Just in case, I think one of you should go get the others," Tony said.
"You may be right," Kili said. "Go get the others."
"I don't wanna do it," Tony protested with a frown.
"Fine, but you stay hidden if I need to go help him," Kili said before looking at his brother. Fili nodded and quietly made his way back to the camp. William, about to sneeze, reached behind him for his handkerchief, but accidentally grabbed Bilbo instead, and sneezed all over him.
"Ulgh," Tony and Kili both groaned quietly in disgust. William started to freak out when he saw Bilbo, who looked shocked, in his hand.
"Argh! Blimey! Bert! Bert! Look what's come out of me 'ooter! It's got arms and legs and everything." The other trolls gathered around to look.
"What is it?" Tom asked.
"I don't know, but I don't like the way it wriggles around!" William said before he shook Bilbo off the napkin and onto the ground.
"What are you then? An oversized squirrel?" Tom asked.
"I'm a burglar- uhh, Hobbit," Bilbo said quickly correcting himself.
"A Burgla-Hobbit?" William asked.
"Can we cook 'im?" Tom asked.
"We can try!" William said and tried to grab Bilbo but he dodged him only to be cornered by Bert.
"He wouldn't make more than a mouthful, not when he's skinned and boned!" Bert said.
"Perhaps there's more Burglar-Hobbits around these parts. Might be enough for a pie," Tom said.
"Grab him!" Bert shouted.
"It's too quick!" William said. As the trolls tried to catch Bilbo, he ran around trying to dodge them. Bert accidentally hit William with his ladle while trying to hit Bilbo. Bilbo was eventually caught by the legs by Tom, and held upside down in the air. Kili looked behind him and saw the rest of the company quietly heading towards them.
"Tony," Kili whispered. "You stay here, stay hidden. Under no circumstances do you come out," he said before moving through the bushes. Tony frowned.
"But..." Tony sighed.
"Come here, you little... Gotcha! Are there any more of you little fellas 'iding where you shouldn't?" Tom asked.
"Nope," Bilbo squeaked.
"He's lying," William said.
"No I'm not!" Bilbo insisted.
"Hold his toes over the fire. Make him squeal," Kili suddenly ran out of the bushes and cut William in the leg, making him howl and fall down.
"Drop him!" Kili shouted.
"You what?" Tom asked. Kili twirled his sword once.
"I said, drop him." Tom threw Bilbo at Kili, who tried to catch the hobbit, knocking them both down. The rest of the Company charged out of the bushes yelling and brandishing their weapons. They began fighting the trolls, hacking, slashing, and hammering their legs. Tony watched with a deep frown. He heard a noise and turned to see Lucy as she crouched next to him.
"We've got to do something," Tony whispered to her.
"We can't just go running in there," Lucy whispered back. "We don't have any weapons."
"We don't need weapons; we need to help the little guy free the ponies," Tony said before he got up slightly and started around to get to the horse pen.
"His name is Bilbo," Lucy said quietly as she followed after Tony who pulled out a tac-force blade. "Where did you-? You went in my bag?" Lucy hissed. Tony rolled his eyes.
"You weren't using it," he said. They got to the pen before Bilbo did, he was still trying to get around the trolls and stay out of the dwarves' way.
"How long have you had that? Give it to me; you'll cut yourself!" Lucy scolded as he held out her hand for the knife.
"No way, I'm gunna do it."
"Tony. Give it to me."
"No." Lucy went to grab that knife by the handle but Tony pulled it away and ended up cutting Lucy's palm.
"Ow!" she yelped. Tony's eyes widened and he stared at her hand.
"I-I-I didn't mean to-!" he said as he shook his head frantically. Meanwhile, Bilbo had grabbed William's knife and cut the ropes to free the ponies. Tom, who saw this, grabbed Bilbo. The dwarves stopped fighting when they saw Bert and Tom holding Bilbo by his arms and legs.
"Bilbo!" Kili yelled as he started to run forward.
"No!" Thorin shouted stopping him.
"Tony, go, go!" Lucy hissed as she pushed him with her uninjured hand towards the woods. They started to run but William grabbed them causing them both to scream as he lifted them up.
"There's two more!" he said as he held them upside down.
"Put us down!" Tony shouted.
"Lucy!" Fili shouted before he grit his teeth.
"Lay down your arms, or we'll rip his off," Tom said. Thorin looked at Bilbo then Lucy in frustration, and then planted his sword in the ground. The others dropped their swords and weapons as well.
...
The trolls had tied several dwarves - Dwalin, Bofur, Dori, Ori and Nori - onto a spit and were roasting them over a fire in their underclothes; the rest, Bilbo, Lucy and Tony were tied up in sacks nearby. Fili had been dropped face down and was struggling to turn over. Lucy was laying face down half across Kili in the same situation; her head was by Fili's.
"You should've stayed hidden," he said to her.
"Don't blame me, blame Tony," she hissed.
"I heard that," Tony growled from his place next to Oin.
"I told you to stay behind," Thorin hissed at Lucy. Lucy flinched and Kili and Fili frowned.
"Don't bother cooking them. Let's just sit on them and squash them into jelly," William said.
"They should be sautéed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage," Bert said.
"Is this really necessary?" Dori asked.
"Ooh, that does sound quite nice," William agreed.
"Untie us, you monsters!" Oin shouted
"Take on someone your own size!" Gloin shouted. The dwarves on the spit and in the bags were all making noises and talking in fear.
"Never mind the seasoning; we ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away, so let's get a move on. I don't fancy being turned to stone," Tom said. Bilbo heard what Tom said and had an idea.
"Wait! You are making a terrible mistake," Bilbo suddenly said.
"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits!" Dori shouted.
"Half-wits? What does that make us?" Bofur asked. Bilbo managed to stand up, although still tied up in a sack. He faced the trolls.
"Uh, I meant with the, uh, with, uh, with the seasoning," Bilbo said.
"What about the seasoning?" Bert asked.
"Well have you smelt them? You're going to need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up." The dwarves yelled at Bilbo, calling him a traitor. The ones in sacks tried to kick him at.
"Uh, th-the secret to cooking dwarf is, um-" Bilbo said.
"Yes? Come on," Bert said.
"It's, uh-" Bilbo hesitated trying to think of something.
"Tell us the secret," Bert pressed.
"Ye-yes, I'm telling you, the secret is ..." The Dwarves all stopped to stare at him. "to... skin them first!" Bilbo blurted. The dwarves all started shouting at him.
"Tom, get me the filleting knife," Bert said.
"If I get you, you little-" Gloin shouted.
"I won't forget that!" Dwalin shouted.
"What a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty with their skins on. Scuff them, I say, boots and all," Tom said. Bilbo saw Gandalf slipping behind some trees nearby.
"'e's right! Nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf! Nice and crunchy," William said and grabbed Lucy who immediately screamed. Everyone started shouting in protest.
"No!"
"Lucy!"
"Put her down you oversized pig!" Tony shouted, squirming to get free from his sack.
"She's not a dwarf!"
"Put her down!" Some of the others shouted.
"Food's food," William said with a shrug. "'sides, females have the best taste," he said before he dangled Lucy upside down over his mouth. Lucy's breath caught in her throat, she could barely hear the dwarves shouting in protest over the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her ears.
"Lucy!" Tony shouted.
"Wait!" Bilbo shouted. "Y-You can't eat her first!" William stopped and looked at Bilbo with a frown.
"Why not?"
"Because... you should save the best for last?" Bilbo squeaked.
"He's got a point," Bert said.
"Alright." He tossed Lucy to the ground and she ended up almost rolling into the fire. She tried to calm her breathing as the dwarves on the spit looked down at her with wide, worried eyes. "Then I'll have this one." William picked up Bombur and held him over his mouth.
"Not-not him, he—he's infected!" Bilbo shouted.
"You what?" Tom asked.
"Yeah, he's got worms in his ... tubes," Bilbo said. William dropped Bombur into the pile of Dwarves in disgust. "In-in fact they all have, they're in-infested with parasites. It's a terrible business; I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't."
"Parasites, did he say parasites?" Oin asked.
"We don't have parasites! You have parasites!" Kili shouted.
"What are you talking about, laddie?" Gloin shouted. The rest of the dwarves chimed in about how they didn't have parasites and how Bilbo was a fool. Bilbo rolled his eyes as the dwarves messed up his plan.
"Idiots," Tony hissed. Thorin heard him as he suddenly understood Bilbo's plan and kicked the others. They then understood and went along with it. All the dwarves began proclaiming about how they were "riddled" with parasites.
"I've got parasites as big as my arm," Oin said.
"Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites!" Kili shouted.
"We're riddled," Nori said.
"Yes, I'm riddled," Ori said.
"Yes we are. Badly!" Dori said.
"What would you have us do, then, let 'em all go?" Tom asked.
"Well..." Bilbo said.
"You think I don't know what you're up to? This little ferret is taking us for fools!" Tom accused.
"Ferret?" Bilbo asked, offended.
"Fools?" Bert asked. Gandalf appeared on top of a large rock above the clearing.
"The dawn will take you all!" he shouted.
"Who's that?" Bert asked.
"No idea." Tom said.
"Can we eat 'im too?" William asked. Gandalf struck the rock with his staff, splitting it in half, allowing the sunlight behind it to pour into the clearing. When the sunlight touched the trolls' skin, they began turning into stone amidst loud screams and howls of pain. Within seconds, there were three stone statues of trolls in the clearing. All the dwarves laughed and cheered for Gandalf. Of course, the dwarves on the spit still looked uncomfortable.
"Oh, get your foot out of my back!" Dwalin shouted. Gandalf came over and helped Bilbo out of his sack to help the others before going over to the spit to get the dwarves down. Bilbo hurried over to Lucy and freed her from her sack.
"Thank you Bilbo," she said, still slightly breathless. He nodded. Lucy got up and moved to the other dwarves. She rolled Fili over and helped him out of his sack.
"Are you alright?" Fili asked as he put his hands on her upper arms, giving her a once over. Lucy nodded.
"I'm alright. Just... shaken up," she said quietly. Fili cupped her face slightly and attempted to rub some dirt away with his thumb. Lucy swallowed as he held her face, meeting her eyes a moment later.
"Little help here!" Tony snapped pulling Lucy's attention away. She sighed and turned to help him. "Yeah thanks, help the dwarf before your own brother," he said. Lucy rolled her eyes and got him out of the sack before moving to help Kili out of his.
"So, biggest parasites huh?" she asked with a small teasing smile. Kili pouted, embarrassed, which made Lucy chuckle.
"Are you okay?" he asked as he turned to her with a worried expression on his face.
"I'm okay."
"I thought my heart was going to stop," Kili admitted.
"It's a good thing Bilbo saved us then," Lucy said giving the hobbit a smile. He smiled back, she was the only one to thank him.
I added A LOT to this one. I saw a pinterest picture that pointed out Kili doesn't have a big nose, ears or beard to speak of so he probably thinks he's ugly by dwarvish standards.
Old Word Count: 3,486 New Word Count: 7,087