Chapter 24

Darcy awoke, but rather then get out of bed, he propped his head up on his hand and he watched Elizabeth as she slept. He could feel his manhood pressed against Elizabeth's backside and as stimulating as it was he was entranced watching her sleep. He had considered slipping from the bed to begin his day, but did not wish to leave her. After last night he wanted to be present, next to her, when she awoke. He wanted to make sure she was not embarrassed by what happened, that she understood he enjoyed her passion.

Part of him wanted to wake her up stimulating her body so that he could bring her to release once she was fully awake, but the other part feared he would shock her and that she would cringe away from him. He had a vague notion of what gently bred ladies were taught and while he did not believe it was possible for Elizabeth to become like the jaded society ladies that had affairs or the marriagable misses with loose morals that populated society, he did not want her to believe that she should remain still and unresponsive to his touch to be a proper wife. Some men preferred to have a wife lay still under him unaroused while he slaked his lust on her form, believing it was wanton and unnatural for a woman to respond. Darcy thought those men were brutes since even at the brothel he knew to wait to enter a woman's body until she was aroused enough to receive him. Others did not care if their wives lay still in bed or responded as long as they got their own release, but those women that did lie still Darcy knew were unsatisfied and did not enjoy congress with their husbands and lay under them only from duty.

He wanted to ask her about her words, but was unwilling to incase she regretted saying them, they were only a result of her orgasim or she had not said what he had thought he heard. He wanted her to wake up and touch him, not necessarily his manhood, even though he would enjoy that immensely, but anywhere to make her presence and what happened real, to assure himself she enjoyed physical contact with him. He found himself constantly wanting to touch her in innocent ways, just to have contact with her, because he enjoyed it. He wanted her to feel the same way about him someday. To reach out and touch his arm, his face, his hand, anywhere just for the joy of that contact. She had been aware of what was happening and had participated with him, and he was anxious to know how she felt this morning.

When Elizabeth began to stir, he moved back just enough so that his manhood was no longer touching her since he did not wish her to awake scared of his intentions. She rolled onto her back and sleeply opened her eyes, blinking and giving him a soft inviting smile. Without thinking Darcy simply reacted to her sleepy smile, his good intentions forgotten and had her under him bracing his weight on his arms, before she could blink again wanting to bury himself in her.

He pushed her legs apart wedging his body between them and ground himself against her with force, letting out a grunt of satisfaction at the sensation the movement created and drove into her again with his full weight to increase the sensation. He repeated his movement, using his full wieght again to thrust against her. Gone was the gentleness he had exhibited last night and in its place was determination and raw hunger to saite himself. He leaned down and kissed her mouth, glorying in the soft feel of her beneath him as he ground himself against her womanhood once more, wanting to thrust hard and fast into her as he rode her body to completion. Elizabeth's eyes had flown wide open at his actions but when he kissed her they closed and she lay stiffly beneath him expecting him to consummate their marriage now, but without feeling the pleasure he had caused her to feel last night. He ground himself against her pinning her to the bed with his weight, mindlessly in pursuit of his own pleasure, wanting nothing more then to drive into her as deep as he could and began reaching for his buttons, bracing himself on one hand. As he popped the first two free, he realized he was about to pull himself out and plunge into his wife as deep as he possibly could without so much as a by your leave as she lay tense on the bed pinned down by him. He quickly rolled off of her and silently thanked god that he had slept with breeches again. He had done so because he usually preferred to sleep in the nude, but did not think Elizabeth was ready for him to do that since it was only the second time he had managed to get her to sleep in his bed. He had planned on having his talior make him up some nighshirts, but now considered he may need to have the man fashion some sort of sleeping trousers instead so that he would not ever wake up to find himself inside Elizabeth, ruthlessly thrusting into her small form, hurting her.

"I am sorry," he said outloud.

"It is okay, " Elizabeth said in a small voice. "I am your wife. By law you may consummate our marriage whenever you want. And I told you I was willing to fulfill my duties."

"I am not going to consummate our marriage. Not like that. I do not want to hurt you. I forgot myself," he said pausing to take a deep breath to steady himself. "Can you forgive me, Elizabeth? I want to be gentle with you, to bring you pleasure, but I have wanted you here with me for so very long that it is easy to forget myself," Darcy said as he lay looking up at the ceiling, scared to look at his wife and see fear or rejection in her expressive eyes after he had just pounced on her like an animal ruled by nothing but his own lust.

"There is nothing to forgive," Elizabeth said in a firmer voice.

He turned his head to glance at her and saw her profile. She was staring at the celing as well, her form radiating tension. His eyes trailed the line of her arm to where her hands were clenched into tight fists. He rolled onto his side and reaching out slowly, he gently traced a finger along her arm. She flinched but did not move away. "Society may say that a woman has to lay there and allow her husband to have his way with her, regardless of her own wishes but if I ever do something you do not wish me to do, or attempt to use you for my own pleasure like that, tell me no. Push me away, slap me. You do not have to submit to me. I do not want our martial bed to be one of duty or pain."

Unexpectedly, Elizabeth turned her head to look at him, her lips parted in surprise. "I love you," Darcy said firmly. "I would never be able to forgive myself if I hurt you."

"Thank you," Elizabeth said softly. "This morning was very different from last night. Last night I did not feel any fear, only mild apprehension at first."

Darcy rolled back onto his back, looking at the ceiling and said his voice breaking, "And this morning I was a brute and you were scared of me." It was one of his worst fears come true. His Elizabeth had feared him and what he would do to her body. To his surprise he felt her small hand on his arm and then saw her face come into his line of vision, as she leaned over him looking down at him.

"Yes, I was scared," she admitted softly, "but I am not any longer."

He searched her features and was relieved to find no sign of fear in her eyes. He reached up his hand to cup her beloved face and said hoarsely, "I am so so very sorry, my love." Then with his other arm he gently pulled her down to him and lay there with her in his embrace ontop of him. He nuzzled his nose into her hair and breathed in deeply while she lay soft and compliant in his arms, with no sign of her earlier tension. He held her thusly, relieved to have her in his arms, unafraid of him for a while before reluctantly releasing her when his own stomach growled, aware that if he was hungry she might be as well.