Chapter 3- Friends- Bella

"Mom?" she asked me, and I sighed.

"Ness, you're slipping," I said and she rolls her eyes, the picture of her father.

"I know but it's weird," she complained from the passenger seat. I took a left, following a map I memorized from the internet to get to the right parking lot.

"Not necessarily, I often call grandpa Charlie," I disagreed.

"But that's not normal, and I hear you call him dad all the time," she countered. I sighed again.

"Humor me," I said and stopped at a light. The Volvo blends in well here. It still was so strange how less dense these forests were. They were all so sparse. No dripping vines from trees. No deep rich evergreens. But I guessed a person who's only lived in Phoenix, Arizona or Forks, Washington would be shocked by an average forest.

"Bella?" she asked, even I thought it sounded strange, not that I would admit it now.

"Yes?" I asked with perfect patience.

"Before da… Edward and Jake, who were your friends?" she asked me. And I have to admit, I didn't see this question coming; very strange.

"What?" I said looking away from to road into her chocolate, my chocolate eyes. "That is so random." I protested.

"Well?" she pressed.

"Ok, well, I presume Alice also doesn't count?" I verified. She only nodded and I caught the reflection off the windshield. "I'd say Mike, Jess, Angela, Ben, and Eric," I said feeling dumbstruck to have thought about Mike after all these years.

"So no one from Phoenix?" She prodded. Where was she going with this?

"Grandma Renee was my best friend back then," I said. It was a hard conversation, surprisingly. A year after I revealed myself to Charlie he convinced me I needed to do the same for Renee. That it was selfish for me to worry her for so long. And he was right. When we finally did get her to Forks she freaked out at the sight of me. The worst part was how afraid of me she was. It was very difficult to witness. We still talked occasionally, but I knew that I was her mutant daughter now...that she still feared. And we had lost our special bond. Edward, Jake, or even Alice could never understand how big a loss to me it was; for her to think of me differently forever. Foreign. Dangerous. I didn't know if it was better than avoiding her. Or pretending to be dead. Unlike Charlie, she hadn't wanted to be left in the dark. She demanded answers, and got furious when no one would elaborate on anything for her. Including me. I tried to tell her I was protecting her, but she didn't believe me. After that it was solidified for me that I should never reveal myself to anyone else from my old life. Sue, Billy, and the wolves were all in the know, but they had their own secrets to keep. Nessie sensed that the silence in the car was tense, because she stopped asking about Phoenix, switching back to asking about Forks.

"So, a few good friends from Forks High School, then?" she said. I tried to reason for myself what could possibly be her reason for asking.

"And then you know by now that Jake and I were the closest; true best friends." I said and nothing truer was spoken. I still loved him; even though he was often a bum, and smelled like wet dog. And was seeing my daughter. That was still hard to let go.

"And then daddy," she supplied. I casted her a look and she remembered her mistake. It was essential that she fix this, and she knew it. "Edward," she amended. She needed to call us by our first names now if we were going to be in classes and on campus together. We all looked exactly the same age; college ready teenagers, or maybe even years younger than 18. But yet, our daughter was still our daughter, regardless of our frozen aging. To me, she was even still 7 years old, but I knew Jake was right. She was my 17 year old teenager. How interesting. When I was a human teenager, mom always said I was like her middle aged child; that I had never been a teenager in mind. It looked like my daughter was similar, in a way. If I did sleep, I knew I would have lost sleep worrying about how things were now, the complication of all us looking and appearing the same age even though we really aren't, years ago. The worry tired me but only in my mind. I hadn't slept in almost 7 years now. An endless day.

"Could you explain why you're asking?" I probed, not confident she would answer me. As close as we were, she was still a teenager, and I certainly kept many things from Charlie in the past. There was a pause.

"I'm really glad we're here," she said in a quiet voice. I didn't say anything, because I knew more would follow. "I'm excited for classes. For being in a new place." she said. I waited, sure I was about to learn why she had asked me about my past life. We reached the parking lot and I turned the car off. We got out simultaneously and retrieved our laptop bags. We also got out our coffee mug props. Of course nothing was inside them, but they helped us blend in. We started off to the first building. I double checked online last night. We both had the same class at 6 pm in this building. Ness had already gotten a head start. She could take morning classes, unlike me. My skin meant I'd soon be bored and trapped indoors day after day. The lack of constantly overcast skies like Forks, Washington meant we needed to shut ourselves away to keep from being noticed. Our vampire skin glinted like diamonds in direct sunlight. At least Edward was trapped in the house with me. When Ness was gone, Jake was off exploring on his own. So we were alone, and that could never be considered boring at all….Time passed, but each day with Edward was like the beginning. I was still just as taken with him. Just as awestruck by his smile. And certainly by the rest of him as well.

"I'm not just here for my education though," she said and I stopped to look at her expression. It was closed off which also was very strange for her.

"Why else?" I asked simply.

"I want to have...friends outside the family and the pack," she said in a quiet voice my vampire ears had no trouble with, but others may have.

"Really?" I said, not expecting this at all.

"Yeah," she said. "We're always together, and I love you all, but all of us, you guys included, should have more people in our lives. Even if they are just humans. No matter how slow they are. I think we could be happier with more people in our lives. I mean, technically...Edward did that once, with you." I pondered that, pleased that she called her father Edward also.

"It's sort of...dangerous," I said slowly. It certainly was when I was human. But I'd never trade my choices. I had the perfect...existence. Other than what happened with mom. But now, I also had to cope with the old sadness of having to let go of Angela and Ben too. Would Ness make a friend, and then have to let he/she go, because of our lives? What if...her friends started to notice how different we were? I already knew what we would have to do, even if she didn't realize it yet. We would disappear if we had to. I tried to push the thought aside.

"But we're here. We're putting ourselves out there. People will notice us no matter what. Just because other humans know us it doesn't mean they would know the details; know what we are." I started walking again. As her mother, it made sense that I would want this for her. I wanted her life to be full and happy. I didn't want her to miss anything. But she had already. She never had the true high school experience. She didn't have outside friends. She had no one.

"You're right. It could be hard, but we could try to talk to some of our classmates; if they aren't totally freaked out by us," I said, and hoped for the best.

"I already started," she said and smiled to herself. " I met some people in class this morning. Maybe they will be in this one too, who knows?" She looked happy finally. I smiled.

"Will I like them?" I asked.

"I hope so, I like the theatre kids. I cannot believe you agreed to this. It's so unlike you," she said in wonder.

"That was Alice's point," I grumbled.

When Edward and I pondered what we would study in college, I figured out that I would have studied english in some capacity had I gone as a human. I'd probably focus on Shakespeare or the process of writing plays. I realized that I could do that; maybe write plays myself. The idea really stuck with me. I could write, shut away on my own. I wouldn't have to commute to a job the way my father-in-law Carlisle did at the hospital back in Forks. He loved it, but I didn't think I would have wanted a job among humans. I was a loner. Edward praised the idea, but my sister-in-law Alice didn't think one major was enough, considering I had the power of a vampire mind. She said the Cullens had always double-majored in school. I told her I had no idea what would be my second major.

We talked about subjects of study with Ness too. She loved plays as well, but oddly, she actually wanted to be in them, not writing them. I couldn't believe she wanted to study...acting. It involved being out there and drawing attention. But of course she could; she was a star… my brilliant charismatic daughter. Edward had smiled and nodded. It was decided; she was going to study theatre. And for another subject, she decided to study music as well. The two went together, certainly. She was her father's daughter in terms of musical ability. She could flawlessly read music and already was composing her own music on piano the way her father did. He taught her at a young age. And I supposed I taught her to appreciate Shakespeare; because she dreamt of pursuing theatre. If she studied music, she said she would focus on composing, as a second career. I could really see it. She could write scores for movies.

Alice pointed out to me that I had always been a horrible actress, and that being a Cullen meant that lying and acting were essential for avoiding detection. I thought that was a pretty silly argument; that I should study theatre to get better at lying? It became a sort of joke. Edward supported me always, but he did point out to me that if Ness didn't mind, it would be fun for us to take classes together. She was thrilled by the idea. I grouched about it, but eventually went along, glaring daggers at Alice, who skipped away with a mischievous smile. She was frequently conniving; something I knew back when I was still human.

Edward already studied music and really didn't want to study english or theatre. He was more of a scientist he claimed. After some time, he decided to study microbiology with a focus in immunology; the nerd. He also decided to study biomedical engineering at a separate school from us within Dartmouth called the Thayer School of Engineering. It was sort of part of Dartmouth College overall. I learned one night that Edward had wanted to do this for some time. Even before we met. He was very excited and Carlisle was pleased at the prospect of his son designing equipment he could use in the hospital.

Alice and her husband Jasper decided they weren't coming with us. I was disappointed at first, but she didn't want to go back to college just yet. Jasper had also just finished a new degree in philosophy, and wanted to take a break. They were travelling for now, like my other two siblings-in-law, Emmett and Rosalie. They were also married, and they were in Africa presently. Emmett wanted to try hunting safari game, he was sort of a nut, and Rosalie wanted to do volunteer work involving underprivileged kids. I didn't know where Alice and Jasper were now, but a month ago they were in China. I wasn't sure what they were up to precisely. Maybe they were just on another extended honeymoon.

We planned to reunite in New Hampshire for Christmas. We assumed that by that point, Ness would have plays and recitals that no one wanted to miss. My mother-in-law Esme insisted that the first time we attended college was the most important. After that it was just our job, to maintain our anonymity. After a few decades, we would attend high school again, Ness included. I wondered if she would look forward to it. My daughter was no longer aging either, something I was profoundly relieved at. How many people had ever attended college before high school? Probably none.

We arrived at our first class, Theatre 101, in a lecture hall; it was the absolute basics. Ness was excited and I was so-so. I really didn't love the idea of theatre for myself. I'd be taking my english classes on my own. I wondered what that would be like.

We selected seats in the middle of the room closer to the back. I enjoyed how alike we were. I never liked to sit in the front seats in high school. We opened our expensive laptops and settled into chairs. As a vampire and a half human half vampire, we didn't require rest like humans. I could have stood perfectly still for hours, days even, and never tired. Renesmee was similar, but still needed a little rest. She also slept. She was strong and could run fast but she was the slowest among us. Something Jake especially loved to taunt her about. I also wasn't the newborn superstar anymore. Eventually, I lost my super strength, something Emmett was thrilled about. He was finally winning arm wrestling battles again. I avoided him more now. I did maintain my super self control and my shield abilities. The self control allowed me to mix among humans so soon after my transformation. It took other vampires decades of practicing self control to act as I did.

Even with all of this, we still pretended to be human to blend in. Sitting in a chair, slouching, going to the bathroom, and getting food props were all part of this. Renesmee actually did use the restroom and she could eat human food. She didn't prefer to, but she agreed to eat human food more frequently in college. I tried to put a fun spin on it for her, challenging her to find a food she could really enjoy.

The other students filed in and spread themselves out in the room, many also choosing not to sit in the front. At first we weren't noticed but after a few minutes people started staring. It was because we were model-worthy gorgeous. Another perk of being a vampire. Although now it really wasn't a good thing, because it made us stand out. Renesmee blended in more than I did but she still radiated beauty. It turned out that being part human, having my genes, actually added to her beauty instead of detracting from it. She blushed like I used to and had my chocolate brown eyes from my life as a human, copied exactly onto her face. She even had Charlie's curly hair that bounced in ringlets. She didn't have his color though; her hair was bronze like Edward's. She cut it to be midlength, not quite reaching her shoulders, before we left for college. It would grow back pretty quickly. My hair didn't grow anymore. I kept it the same length I did in high school. It was really strong. It would never change as long as I didn't cut it. I know Alice wished she had longer hair before she was changed. She had no memory of her human life, and her hair had been short and spiky as a human, so it remained that way now.

When the teacher came in, the students finally stopped glancing furtively at us and faced the front. I had my chance to stare at them in turn. My vampire mind had a lot of space for thought. I could pay attention to the lecture perfectly, memorizing everything and people watch at the same time. I noted how addicted to their phones everyone was. People also weren't taking many notes. I pretended to every few minutes in case anyone watched me. I just picked out single words from the lecture, typing them into a google document. Edward spent an afternoon showing us all the google tools and software and a bunch of other things I never thought I would use. Renesmee typed full notes; something I would have done if I didn't have a perfect vampire memory. When I was in high school I took school very seriously. Renesmee's memory was still better than a human's; she learned exceptionally fast. She probably wouldn't need to revisit these notes more than one time to have it memorized. I typed a little more so my notes looked similar to hers, pressing the keys slowly, matching my pace to hers. She glanced at me, and I wondered if she liked my adjustments or if it irritated her. I'd ask her later.

The professor handed out a play to us, students passed piles back until it reached us. The play was Hamlet, something very basic which fit the class well. I'd already read it in high school, but I liked it. I didn't think Renesmee had read it yet. Edward taught her Romeo and Juliet in her lessons; something he knew was a favorite of mine. He asked us in a cheery voice to partner in threes and take turns reading aloud, each of us assuming a different character. He asked us to take notes on the emotions we thought we should be incorporating into the lines. He assured us it was all in practice, and we would discuss our thoughts as a group before the end of the hour. I glanced at Ness. She interpreted my glance exactly. I wanted to know if she wanted us to split up.

"Let's go ask someone to join us," she said. I nodded and followed her to the right down the aisle. There were a couple people around us but it looked like many had paired up already. After craning her neck for a moment, it looked like Ness spotted someone from a previous class. She waved shyly and the student saw her. He raised a hand and it looked like he hadn't chosen partners yet. I followed her over to him, curiosity spiking. Was this her new potential friend? And what was it she liked about him? "Can we join you?" she asked shyly.

"Yeah, certainly," he said. We settled in seats next to him, clutching our plays. Ness smiled at him and it was clear he remembered who she was too.

"Bella," she said, nailing it. "This is Simon, he's in my improv class." I decided not to shake his hand; mine was icy cold.

"Nice to meet you," I said, making eye contact. He wore glasses and had grey eyes and blonde hair that was long enough to obscure them slightly. He brushed it aside and met my eye contact. He didn't start at my golden eyes the way some people did.

"Simon this is my friend Bella from home. We were in high school together," she said. She was so smooth. Just like her father. She didn't need lessons to be good at lying.

"It's nice to meet you too," he answered me and I already knew why Ness liked him. He reminded me of Ben and also Seth Clearwater. A little shy but very nice. I could tell he was someone Ness would get along with. He also wasn't like Jacob. Jake was confident and teasing, and I knew this boy was shy from his tone and demeanor. He also wasn't sarcastic; something Jake especially liked. There was something else there that took me a few moments to work out. He wasn't really afraid of us, or dumbstruck by our staggering beauty. He looked a little nervous, but he wasn't drooling over us the way a few students were. Interesting.

When I first met the Cullens I was really taken with them, but I was also perceptively not afraid of them either. And then Edward and I fell in love; because I liked being close to him, when other students kept their distance. I should have too if I had any instincts for self preservation at all; vampires were dangerous. But Edward always insisted I was a magnet for danger. There was more than enough evidence to support this. This boy Simon did not seem to sense the danger, but Ness didn't give off that vibe. In the year after her birth, I worked out that she seemed more human than vampire. She had gifts of course, but she was the farthest thing from dangerous. She invited people in. They were taken with her immediately. The same was true now. She balanced me out actually. Whatever danger I inspired, she must have equally negated it with her charisma.

We read the scenes quietly. I was surprised and enjoyed the instant confidence Renesmee had. She wasn't reluctant. She inherited that from Edward, he was a genius, good at everything he did. When I was human, I was more like Simon, hesitant and self-conscious. I guess it still lingered in me a bit. In the space of ten minutes though, it was clear Simon knew what he was doing. It was obvious he was in plays in high school; comfortable with the script. I thought my reading was average. We paused every five minutes to chat about the emotions we should write about. Ness and Simon were a bit more talkative than I was. Good. I wanted her to get the most out of this. I let them steer the conversation and typed bits of what they said. I shared the notes with them after finding out Simon's email. Google was pretty handy. We were stopped after about 20 minutes and we turned our attention back to the teacher, but stayed in our new seats. I sensed that tomorrow, we'd sit here again. I thought Simon seemed to like Ness, but again, not like a boy after a pretty girl. I think he liked her ideas, and her personality. Another good thing. Who knew it was this easy to get to know the humans? For one moment, I wondered what Edward would say about his mind.

There was a ten minute group discussion at the end of class, but the three of us did not contribute. I thought that in time, Ness would probably speak out and suggest ideas. I doubted if I would though. I never did before unless I was prompted to. We were asked to read all of Hamlet tonight, and take more notes about possible emotions the characters should convey in a performance of the play. I didn't admit it easily to myself, but I liked the theater class. No one needed to know. Not Alice anyway. But I sighed, she might have seen a vision of us in class already. She was attuned to us as her family and often saw our futures unless it involved Jake or the wolves. She couldn't see their futures at all. She had a bit of trouble with Ness as well, because she was a human vampire mix. We stood after being dismissed and bid Simon farewell.

"See you tomorrow," he said cheerfully, and we walked out. We didn't have another class tonight. I had two classes tomorrow on Tuesdays and also on Thursdays. We had theatre lab on Wednesdays for two hours. I had an English class before the lab. My classes all had to be night classes. It was difficult. It would take Edward and I more time to graduate that Ness. She could take classes all day. We didn't mind though. More time for Edward and I to be alone during the day. A great balance of my interests.

The four of us, Jake included, would go hunting tonight. It would be the second time since our arrival in New Hampshire. The New Hampshire game was different. A lot of deer. There were next to no mountain lions around. Jake and Ness didn't hunt them anyway. I decided I would start cooking more meals for Jake and Ness though. Jake did enjoy human food more. Ness was getting more used to it, slowly.

I imagined that at some point we'd get lunch or dinner with Simon. Friends did that. I wondered where he was from. I'd ask tomorrow. There was a hint of a Southern accent. I smiled. Already Ness was getting me on board with the idea of friends.

"What do you feel like doing?" I asked Renesmee.

"Maybe catch up with Jake and then read Hamlet of course. Have you read it already?" she asked.

"Yeah, but I'll probably glance it again. Edward probably knows the whole thing word by word," I predicted.

"Maybe we should watch it this weekend," she suggested. There were Hamlet movies out there.

"Sure, if you like," I said easily. Ness actually enjoyed TV a little bit. She liked dramas. Cop procedurals, sci-fi, and action/adventure. It was clear that drama was her passion; especially now in college studying theater. I wasn't into the shows as much, but I did watch the episodes with her when she wanted. I liked talking about her interests with her. Maybe she would eventually get me hooked on it, who knew? "So Simon seems nice," I added.

"Yes, he is. When we met this morning, we seemed to click," she said getting in the car when I unlocked it. "I think we should sit next to him tomorrow," she suggested.

"Yeah," I said, picking up from her tone that she already was enjoying life in college. Good. I wanted her to experience everything; just like what Edward had wanted for me.

Pleased, I started driving us home, and I wondered how Edward's first class was tonight.