Chapter 5- Visions- Edward
The rich evening colors in the Olympic forest were welcoming me home. I inhaled the rich fresh scent of the underbrush as I sped through the trees, as fast and silent as a shadow. Snow fell in wispy light flakes around me. I could hear them hitting the ground. Small animals huddled together in trees, I caught their scent as I passed. She wanted to join me tonight. I knew it bothered her to be away from me. Not as much as it bothered me to be away from her, but I really needed to talk to Alice. And I wanted to talk to Alice alone. Bella was frustrated by my stubbornness, but eventually let it go. When Alice had called with news of the first vision months ago, I had panicked. It was so unclear. So murky. Alice didn't know what to make of it. But she did know it wasn't good. For the first time since the events that drew the Volturi to us, Alice put all of her energy into focusing on her visions. Jasper called me with updates, saying Alice barely moved all day long. Occasionally she'd get a flash of something, but then cursed the werewolves and even Ness; they blocked her visions. They prevented her from seeing things clearly. When she couldn't see, she was completely hopeless. I wanted us to go home straight away but Bella disagreed. She didn't want to pull Ness out of school. She didn't want to scare her unnecessarily over something that wasn't definite. It made sense. But I still came home briefly to sit with Alice and watch the flickering visions with her. We worked on isolating definites from the visions. We all seemed to be gathered in them. To me, this wasn't a good thing. We didn't exactly plan to get together any time soon. So why were we together in the visions? There also seemed to be others in the visions. Other vampires. Immediately we thought of the Volturi, but we hadn't managed to identify any individuals. Alice had also kept tabs on Aro's decisions, and nothing alarming had come up these past few years. Aro seemed keen to ignore us completely, still chagrined over his defeat on the field. But I knew his mind. I knew it would never last. He was greedy. And what he hungered for was Alice. Once he decided he wanted her, it would haunt him until she was his. Vampires rarely changed, and this was something that wouldn't change either. There was no way we'd risk any of our family to take him out first. An offensive attack wasn't possible without our vampire comrades. No one needed to die unnecessarily, Carlisle had argued. We would fight only if we had to. And now it was unclear if we might have to, or if these new visions were just noise. Aro understood Alice's visions. He would know from my thoughts that she couldn't see Ness or the wolves. It could be that they were seeking blind spots in her vision, the way Victoria had all those years ago. Bella had been right to worry. We wouldn't be able to live our happily ever after forever. Eventually they would come for us again. I just didn't expect anything to come together so soon.
There was a whisper of sound behind me and I picked up easily on Alice's thoughts as she ran to meet me. I've missed this. She thought as she skipped into the clearing behind me predicting accurately that I would stop. I turned to join her. It was great being home again. I could see in her expression that she was relieved that I was there too. We grinned at each other and it was as good as a hug.
"Where's Jaz?" I asked quietly as I turned and began my run again. She kept pace with me easily, especially when I wasn't running my hardest.
He wanted to come. But I told him I needed some time. He's back at the house, brooding. In her thoughts I caught a memory of a glimpse of Jasper's irritated expression before she shut the door to their room. At least he hadn't tried to control her mood. She despised it.
"Bella reacted similarly," I replied, and in the same moment I caught the scent of a herd of deer.
Alice had a vision of us hunting and replied with her thoughts. Yeah I know I saw it. She's always retained her temper, just like when she was human.
We continued on together toward the herd to live the vision she just had. I was used to catching these quick premonitions with her all the time. I barely thought about it.
There have been no new visions today; she said referring to the mysterious ones she had been having. She told me before I could ask. It was like she predicted that I would ask this even without the help of a vision.
"Seems like we're not making much headway." I said with a sigh. "What do the others think?" I asked but already felt like I knew the answer.
"Emmett is a hundred percent on board with a rematch. Jasper is worried along with Esme and Carlisle. I'm not sure how to read Rose. Haughty as ever." She spoke to me instead of responding with thoughts. I believed it was how she retained some normalcy in our conversations.
"I don't want to reach out to the other vampires again without any definites." I said, slightly irritated at Emmett for his foolishness.
I agree. She said mentally. There's really only one thing I'm trying to sort from the visions now. I waited knowing she would tell me the answer. I want to know where these events are taking place. I keep going over the background... We were coming up on the deer herd now. We stopped and separated, moving through the trees and underbrush, silently. We could practically do it automatically, after hundreds of hunting trips. I could still hear her thoughts even though we were further apart.
"Trying to pinpoint a location," I acknowledged before I moved lithely to sink my teeth into the neck of the largest of the deer. She had also taken her kill, leaving not a spot of blood on her. I drained the buck then set him down gently. The other deer scattered. She was quickly finished with hers as well.
"Yeah, at least then we can be more prepared. I'd like to know where this little shindig is taking place; East or West coast."
"I'm still hoping for none at all," I said checking my clothes and confirming that no blood was on me either. "Still thirsty?" I asked meeting her bright newly golden gaze. She frowned and her thoughts drifted back to Jasper. "Yeah we better get back," I said and led the way back home.
Bella was reading one of her favorite Shakespeare novels on the couch by the fire back in the cottage. It was nice and relaxing to be in our original home. I liked the New Hampshire house, but this was our place.
"So?" She asked casually as I sat down next to her. She left the book on the couch and it was so battered and old it fell apart holding her place easily. I chuckled.
"I can't believe you're reading this again," I said avoiding the question at first.
"It's like a comfort blanket. Are you trying to distract me?" She said raising an eyebrow. The smile slipped off my face.
"Everything is indefinite. Right now she's trying to find a location. We haven't been able to identify any Volturi."
"Ness and Jake can't be helping either," she said acknowledging our blind spots in the family. I was finally accepting that Jake was just part of the family. I had no doubt that he would be sticking around. Nothing could part them. For 3 seconds, I pondered their relationship. I always felt guilty, hearing their private thoughts about each other. I knew Renesmee resented this intrusion of her privacy. At least she knew I tried to distance myself as much as possible. I was secretly relieved that she seemed just as taken with him as he was taken with her. I could feel how he felt about her and I knew precisely how devastating it would be if she ever left him. He was incapable of recovery as an imprinted wolf. He would be like I was when I left Bella those years ago; an empty shell. I shivered slightly uncomfortable with the memory. My vampire mind had no trouble recounting with painful precision how that felt.
"No, it is difficult," I answered eventually. A beat too late. She knew I was preoccupied.
"I wish I could hear your thoughts, Mr. Cullen." She said taking my hand. I turned my fingers up so that they entwined with hers. I felt a zing of electricity in my fingertips.
"As I do with yours as well Mrs. Cullen." She could, of course, pull back her shield, and reveal her thoughts to me. She had long since perfected that skill. She just didn't prefer it. Sometimes I was grateful that my thoughts were my own as well. As I tightened my grip on her hand my need for her reared up suddenly. Seized with desire, I bent to kiss her. She returned my passion, and suddenly we became completely preoccupied, melting right into each other, adrift in our lust.
Later, after a stretch of contented silence on the floor in front of the fire, she spoke again, her lips moving against the skin on my shoulder.
"I don't know what to do about Ness. I want to leave the college and take refuge somewhere as we wait this out. But I know she'll be really disappointed. She's so happy. And I know she would miss Simon and Bram."
"I know. I'm not sure what to do either. For now I think we continue to check in with Alice. Yesterday she thought about how she might want to come back to New Hampshire with us for a little while. Might be nice, hanging out with her and Jasper on campus," I said calmly. "I know I would feel better if she was close by. At least until we know what's going on with more clarity."
"It may never resolve, you know," she said.
"I fervently hope so," I said, kissing her hair.
The next day I sat with Carlisle in his study.
"I'm glad you're back son but I understand your decision. You know we're only a phone call away. If anything comes up we won't hesitate to come." He said warmly, and I realized how much I missed my father's steady warm thoughts. It was a comfort.
"I appreciate it. I'm hoping for the best but I always knew that something might come up again. I'm just sad it's so soon," I said my voice dropping off. He nodded and I took in the worry in his thoughts.
"I hear that you're going to have some company," he said his eyes twinkling and his thoughts rested on Alice and Jasper.
"It's temporary. They don't seem to mind." I said and I reflected upon how close we've been these past few years. It was normal for there to be stretches of time in which we lived apart, pursuing our own interests. Since I met and married Bella, we'd all been living much closer together. It made sense with Renesmee. We all wanted to be close to her.
"I'll probably visit soon as well. It's been awhile since I roamed the New Hampshire forests. A lot of deer there, and coyotes," he said.
"We'll be happy to have you," I said nodding. It made it very easy to host vampires when no one was sleeping.
"Don't worry son, our family is strong," he assured me before I walked out to meet Emmett and Jasper for a hunt.
I know my thoughts are conflicted but you shouldn't be worried. Jasper thought as he flew through the underbrush moving with a graceful gait. Behind us Emmett moved more like a boulder through trees, as delicate as a battering ram. He would need to quiet down if we were ever going to catch any deer. I could tell from his thoughts that he wanted a mountain lion tonight though. And we had quite a ways to go before we found our normal spot.
You know I don't prefer Alice out in the open, but with the Volturi it really doesn't matter where we are. We're in danger no matter where we go. I flinched because I still was hoping, clinging to the notion that the Volturi were not involved at all. But in my heart of hearts, I knew the truth. I'd known it for six years but constantly pushed the thought aside, desperately trying to lead a normal worry-free life with my family. As long as Aro existed, my family could be taken from me. I couldn't live peacefully with that knowledge. Of course, I couldn't lose Carlisle my brothers and my sisters. But losing Bella and Renesmee would be equivalent to losing everything in life itself. My life would become meaningless and I would quickly follow them thereafter. To this day, I didn't know if Renesmee knew this about me. She'd become just as talented as Jake about concealing her thoughts. And Jake… Because of us he was as good as dead himself but like me with Bella he could never stay here without her. The burden of the pack's demise on top of my own family's was too much to bear. I writhed mentally, sick imagining it. Some of the wolves were quite young, infants in comparison to me. I felt an unnatural calm steal over me and I frowned.
I know you don't like it when I alter your emotions, but I couldn't help myself. You worry far too much.
"It never feels like enough," I uttered but I also embraced the mental morphine he provided me. Not to feel nowadays was the best I could hope for as things grew more and more dangerous. Unlike Ness and Jake, I couldn't escape into sleep for a while to give my mind a break. This was the closest I could achieve that.
In Jasper's thoughts he was surprised by how I seemed to embrace his gift. He couldn't read thoughts precisely like I did but he could read moods and emotions. His burden, similar to mine, was to live in a sea of them all the time.
That's pretty concerning you know. Normally you don't like it when I do that. It must be more serious than I realized.
"No I'm just reliving some of the feelings I had six years ago. I was thinking about the Quileutes also."
I heard Emmett sigh behind me. He hated when people share worrying just as much as he hated giving up a fight. He felt like both of these things were pointless. If there was a fight, he was going to be a participant and that was the only future that occurred to him. He didn't like considering that it was better not to fight, but occasionally relented whenever Rose pitched a fit. With me though, he had no patience for this.
"I don't know what Jazz is saying, but we have to let this go. This depressing stuff is why it's no fun to go hunting anymore lately." Emmett said in a bored tone.
"I'm not really preoccupied with fun," I said dryly. Emmett was intelligent enough to know better than comment when I was in this mood. He shrugged.
We don't know anything Edward. Until we do this is all wasted energy. He said in a mental voice that was more supportive.
I chose not to say anything either and picked up the stronger scent of the mountain lions as we grew closer to the Hoh rainforest. We had to be careful because there were always more hikers in this region. Jasper was a lot more adjusted now than he was those years ago. He didn't struggle as much with the scent of human blood.
In a matter of minutes we located the lions. There were only two and I waited as Emmett and Jazz hunted them. I wasn't that thirsty after my hunt with Alice. And my thoughts also effectively killed my thirst as well.
It would be better if you didn't let your worry affect Bella and Ness. Once we get to New Hampshire, the dread in the house could be unbearable. Jasper thought as he finished with his lion.
"I'm glad you're going to be there," I said.
"Wish I was but Rose is not eager. Could be nice to have some alone time," Emmett said but he was very careful not to daydream about Rose near me. He was a really polite brother even if he didn't always act it. Jasper was even better at concealing his thoughts; almost like a pro. I heard not a trace of Alice's and Jasper's love life in their thoughts. Unless I was careless enough to be close to the house when they were together. After a few accidents I didn't let it happen anymore; the simple etiquette when you could read minds. Em didn't care, but he knew it made me uncomfortable. I isolated myself when I was with Bella, knowing Jasper was uninterested in getting wrapped up in our emotions during that time. Sometimes I envied Emmett's simple existence without a gift. He was frequently jealous though. His super strength was his own gift in a way.
Suddenly my phone buzzed and I frowned. I extracted it for my pocket and tapped the screen. It was a text from Alice.
You need to go home now. Something is up. Don't panic, it's not that bad. No Volturi anyway. But my evening's schedule vanished suddenly.
It certainly was more than enough to pique my interest.
"Alice told me that something is going on at home so I'm deciding to head back. She didn't say," I added as I read Jasper's mind.
"Let us know if you need anything," said Emmett as I turned away to begin to run.