Donnie, 2k12 verse

Donnie rubbed his eyes and let out a deep yawn. Deciding it was time for a much-needed coffee break from his research, he awkwardly got out of his chair and made his way across the cold concrete floor of his lab. At least he had done something productive tonight; suspicious activity, including alien technology and strange shipments, had been observed down by the docks, and after some speculation in the media Donnie had decided to check it out.

Getting his hands on the police reports had taken some time and skill, but he had succeeded. Not that they gave much; all he could make out of it was that it was still Kraang tech and possibly mutagen in circulation on the streets. Filing it away in his mind as something to possibly look into on the next patrol, it didn't really worry him. The Kraang was gone, but it would probably take some time before all their remnants were.

He stretched a bit as he walked, trying to work out the kinks in his neck from sitting crouched for hours in front of the computer. The living room was quiet and dark, the only source of light coming from the pinball machine and a single lamp someone forgot to turn off. Just the usual low-key noise was heard from the fridge along with the occasional sound of dripping water. He was the only one still awake at this hour and he was pretty sure it was pointless to get back into bed before morning practise; it was due in just an hour, so a great intake of caffeine was a more realistic approach. He would just have to drag himself through the katas and sparring before getting a lecture from Leo, the fearless mother hen, about his sleeping habits; as usual. Shuffling slowly into the dimly lit kitchen, he filled the pot with water and the machine with coffee, a process he had repeated at least a few thousand times throughout his lifetime. At least some things never change…

He sat heavily down on a kitchen chair whilst waiting for the coffee, resting his head in his hands. The silent, deserted lair got to him in a strange way, as he felt a wave of melancholia wash over his mind.
He remembered the times he and April spent a whole night frantically studying before exams week started, and smiled weakly at the many moments spent with her discussing various scientific topics, and rehearsing things like American history or French.

He very rarely gave himself time to sit down and reflect upon anything else than his numerous lab-projects. However, he had very pressing matters on his mind, and he couldn't really keep them at bay anymore. He was still recovering from the impact off the bomb April had dropped on him yesterday evening. He should have seen it coming, as he had known all along that she would eventually find someone, but secretly he had always hoped it would be him. He knew how laughable that idea was, and that it was never even within the realm of possibilities. But that had never stopped him from courting her before, so why should it suddenly matter?

The past years had been strange… they suddenly didn't have enemies to speak of and nothing but the occasional street punk and robber to take care of. Their late-night patrol was more of a habit than a needed public service, just like their training was reduced to mere maintenance of their skills. It was no longer possible to use impending doom and constant stress as a distraction, and the need of inventions and weaponry had decreased sufficiently as their enemies had shrivelled up.
And it was only so much he could actually do to improve their lives in the lair on a daily basis, and just that many electrical devices in the kitchen for Leo to break. All Donnie was left to tinker with was his own ideas and inventions, and although that might sound like a good thing, it certainly was not. He suddenly had to acknowledge how April's life would go on, with or without him. He tried to be happy for her, he really did. But that only made it worse, as he seemed to be uncapable of it, and merely succumbed to his own selfish desires.

She had found a guy that she liked, and he just had to find a way to cope. He felt tears well up on his eyes when he though of how much this guy could potentially do for her; so much more than he could ever offer. I mean, he couldn't even take a casual stroll down the sidewalk with her unless it was in the middle of the night. Why he had to be so selfish, to wish for her to limit her life, he didn't know. If he truly loved her, as he claimed, wouldn't he be able to give up his own happiness for hers...?

He envied normal people; and not only because they had the option to actually be with April.
He knew from helping with her homework, that he was way above the average overachiever his own age, and with a human physique, could have attended whatever university he wanted.

But that was not possible, trapped in a mutated body like his own. The part where people would run away screaming at the sight of him was hurtful, not because they were scared of him, but because they didn't think of him or his brothers as more than animals. Lately, whenever he tried to get back into one of his projects, he remembered how it didn't matter if he succeeded or not, whatever scientific discovery he might make would be useless. His findings would never leave his lab or give him any sort or recognition, and with that in the back of his mind, the drive and determination he had for so long started to dwindle.

He kept asking himself, what is the point, and sadly he couldn't come up with an answer. It wasn't like he could go to college with April and join her on her intellectual journey, no matter how much he wanted to.

He could always try to cure the pulverizer, not knowing if retro-mutagen would even work on Timmy, but as a way of tackling his bad conscience. It had plagued him since it happened, that he didn't take more responsibility for the poor guy, that he couldn't predict or prevent what had happened and that he kept failing to find a cure for him. That was probably the reason he didn't try anymore; he was sure the next attempt would be another failure on his part. To add to the pile of things that weighed him down, they had lost their father to the hands of Shredder, and he couldn't stop himself from thinking about what he could have done to possibly save him. They hadn't really spoken about what had happened in a while. It was probably still too fresh, but he couldn't help but wonder if he was the only one incapable of moving on. Leo had his newfound status as sensei to focus on and Raph had his hands full of making him prove he was worthy of that title, and Mikey… well, he had his games and comics to keep him busy. His naturally positive outlook on life probably helped him deal with it as well.

He used to able to confine more in April about these things than he did now, and he wasn't entirely sure why he felt they had drifted apart. Apart from this Nathan-guy, they had been close, probably too close for her to want to confine in him when it was about guys. Which explained why she hadn't said anything, and why she had been so desperately sorry about it when Casey blabbered and he found out. However, the past few months she had talked to him less, as she was out and about more than she usually was. He had now come to understand why.

She was more independent now, and he didn't feel she needed him for much anymore. Her father was safe, she was more than capable of taking care of herself as a kunoichi, and with all the threats to her life more or less gone, school was once again where she spent her weekdays. He knew that she still cared for him, and didn't mean to hurt him, but he understood that she had a human life to live: She could, after all, go places in life he could not. The thought had been in the back off his mind all along, but that didn't make it easier to accept that she might be in their, I his life, only sporadically from now on. It was scary to think of, that the girl he loved so dearly might want to take a path in life that differed from his. His hope that she would return to New York after she finished her studies were just that; he had no guarantee that she would return to him. He felt his chest tighten and tears cloud his vision as he thought of the possibility that she would leave him behind. What was he to do with his life..?

The coffee maker interrupted his thinking with a gurgling sound indicating it was nearly done, making him stand up and reach into the cabinet to find a coffee mug.

"Hey D!" a cheerful voice said, Mikey suddenly appearing in the doorframe. A little startled by his brother showing up in the kitchen this early in the morning, Donnie turned to him; "Hi Mikey… What are you doing up?" he said, quickly wiping away what tears might have spilled over, soft spoken from trying to ignore the sadness still lingering in the back of his mind.

Mikey just smiled and made his way over to the stove; "I had this weird dream, and I couldn't fall asleep again, so I figured I could make pancakes for everyone!" Mikey beamed as he turned to Donnie; "And bacon. And eggs. And hot dogs. And beans. And pop tarts!" He continued, rummaging through the fridge and cabinets in search for the numerous ingredients.

Donnie didn't need to know that Mikey had spotted him looking tired and miserable on his way into the kitchen when Mikey originally had planned on a quick snack. He figured Donnie might need someone to talk to, because Mikey was pretty sure it wasn't just the obvious lack of sleep that was bothering his brother.

Donnie smiled weakly as he sat back down by the table with a cup of coffee; "Sounds great Mikey."

Mikey didn't like how he sounded so… defeated. Humming to himself, a heavy silence fell over them as Mikey kept trying to think of things to say. How did he get Donnie to talk to him? Mikey was rather confident that he knew what was bugging Donnie, but he knew that if he mentioned April, Donnie would clam up and retreat into his lab again. He did however, need to talk to him now, when he was still out of his cave. Another reason he had been willing to give up another hour of sleep for the sake of Donnies feelings. "I'm feeling real cooped up in here, y'know?" Mikey said, trying to get onto a path to what he suspected was the issue at hand. "I mean, after the Kraang and Shredder and all the bad guys disappeared, it's been so boring! I have seen every season of Crognard the Barbarian like two times, and beaten my own record in all the videogames we have!" He continued, sighing dramatically at the end of the sentence, stealing glances at Donnie as he spoke.

Donnie merely nodded and stared down into his mug; "Yeah. It's kind of boring."

Mikey sat down by the opposite end of the table as he mixed the pancake batter, splattering some on himself, the floor and the table in the process. No biggie, he could clean that up later. "But isn't it kinda great? For you I mean?" Mikey said in a cheerful voice "You got all the time in the world to do whatever science stuff you feel like, bruh!"

Donnie looked up from the staring contest with his coffee mug, and sighed softly. "You would think it was, right?"

Mikey looked puzzled at his brother; "It isn't?" Mikey knew that his older brother used his projects to distract himself, and that April was the one filling up every inch of Donnies attention span right now, but he though it was a good idea to play oblivious. Just like he let him have his space yesterday, when he walked off pretending to be fine after Casey told on April. He started to think that had been a bad idea.

Donnie met Mikey's gaze for a second before he closed his eyes and shook his head. Mikey was onto him; he could already tell. Not that it was very surprising, given yesterday's happenings; "No. I mean, it's no point. I… There is no one to, you know, talk about it with, or help out with something or teach…. Whatever." Donnie looked down again, a defeated slump in his shoulders.

Mikey frowned, and thought about what his brother had said for a second. He didn't have April around anymore, to lounge around as they did homework and science-stuff together. And this Nathan guy had just made the whole situation worse; "Y know, if you want to help people you can still do that. Down here I mean." Mikey said, as an idea suddenly popped into his head.

Donnie raised a brow, looking expectantly at his younger brother; "Okay…?" He wasn't sure about what Mikey was getting at, especially as he hadn't explained much, but then again, he kept forgetting how intuitive his younger sibling could be. Of course, he would catch onto what was plaguing Don, if only halfway.

"You could fix computers and electrical stuff! I mean, not here, but like, talk to them on the phone and tell them what to do! Really though, if Leo is anything to go by, there is plenty of people up there at constant war with their toasters." Mikey said excitedly.

Donnie snickered at that; "Yeah. But most people don't bother to fix their toasters. They just buy a new one." Or so he thought, as there was plenty of them to be found on the junkyard, which was good for them since Leo had a tendency to try his luck with the device.

"Yeah, but like I said, computers and stuff!" Mikey didn't falter for one second, seemingly convinced his idea was brilliant. "Think about it; if they call you and you talk in the phone no one needs to see your face. Or shell." Mikey winked at that and went over to the stove again, bringing out a pan and some bacon; "You could make some money for pizza bro!"

Donnie smiled at him, nodding slightly. That wasn't the worst idea Mikey had brought to the table, he had to admit. Some sort of income could be a good idea, giving them the opportunity to buy things and not always go dumpster diving or rely on their human friends bringing them stuff. As Mikey had said, nobody needed to know he was a ninja turtle. It could provide a good distraction, give him something useful to do. Donnie felt a tiny bit better at the thought of something simple and productive to do. "That's is actually a good idea Mikey. I'll think about it." He said, giving his brother a small smile as he kept pondering on it. Mikey beamed at the praise, flipping pancakes without skipping a beat, not even paying attention to what he was doing.

"Told you I'm smart. Like, super smart." Mikey said matter-of-factly as he turned back to the growing pile of pancakes on the counter. Mikey was pleased with himself, as it seemed that he had helped Donnie a little along the way to recovery. The big talk about feelings had to wait until he was ready to uncover those layers of conflicting emotions seething under the surface.

Donnie drank his coffee in silence, playing with the idea in his mind. Donnies tech support… that wasn't a half bad name. How would he go about it though...? he needed a couple of things to get started….

Donnie was brought back from his temporary space out as Leo entered the kitchen;
"Pancakes...?" He said, a hopeful tone in his voice, along with the obvious bewilderment at not having to drag Mikey screaming and whining out of his bed before training.

"Yup!" Mikey replied in his ever-cheerful voice, "With bacon, beans and pop tarts."

Leo grimaced at the last part, but smiled nevertheless as he caught sight of the heap of pancakes; "Looks delicious!" He sat down by the table, smiling at Donnie until he noticed the missing mask and dark undereye circles; "You didn't sleep tonight either?" Leo said in his best big brother voice as he gave a stern look.

"No." came the short reply from Donnie. He desperately tried to avoid the matter and the demand for an explanation he didn't want to make. Leo shook his head as he lectured him; "You know it's not good for you. And you lack focus during training when you are sleep deprived." Donnie mumbled something incomprehensible in return and luckily for him, Leo gave it a rest.

Mikey was talking loudly to himself as he started preparing the bacon; "Maybe I should start my own business too! Like, entertaining kids… At birthday parties!"

Leo gave Donnie a questioning look at Mikey's rambling. Donnie just shrugged and smiled slightly at his brother's antics; "I need a name. Good thing I'm the best at naming stuff! Booyakasha…. Bob! No, that's stupid. Cowabunga… Yeah, that's a neat word! Mondo won't mind me loaning it… Cowabunga… Carl! Damn, I'm good at this!"

Leo turned to his enthusiastic younger brother; "What does cowabunga mean...?"

Mikey turned to his brother, seemingly having forgotten all about their presence; "Dunno. Mondo says it a lot. But it's fun to yell." He giggled, and placed the pancakes at the table along with all the other food he had prepared; "Raph!" He yelled; "Food!"

Raph came into the kitchen mere moments after, still groggy from sleeping. "What are you doing up, squirt?" He said in a gruff voice at Mikey's annoyingly joyful mood. Raph then spotted he pancakes on the table and didn't bother await an answer as he lunged for the plate he had just been served. Only Raph could compete with Mikey's appetite in the morning, and he managed to chomp down the pancakes and demand another serving before Mikey had sat down by the table.
With an amused look on his face from Raph's feasting, Mikey sat down with the others, passing the bacon and pop tarts around the table.

Only Donnie didn't help himself to the food, drinking his coffee in silence as his brothers ate and talked. Mikey tried to offer up a few eggs and bacon; "You not hungry Dee?"

Donnie shook his head; "Nor really. But thanks." Donnie noticed the worried expression on his little brother face and quickly added; "I'll have some after practise."

Mikey gave a suspicious glare, but seemed content with the answer as he poured syrup all over his own food. Including the eggs and toast. Raph pretended to gag at the sight, making Mikey blow a raspberry in his direction, and Leo merely sipped his tea as he ignored the build up for a food fight between his siblings.

Donnie smiled weakly to himself; maybe it wasn't half bad being stuck down here with his moronic brothers anyway.