Lost- Simon
**
About one month later
"Simon, listen…," Alice said with a note of urgency in her voice. I could barely think. Today was insane and I had no idea what was going on. I also knew too much. Edward, Bella, and Jake were long gone. Frantically looking for Alistair, their one hope to find a tracker who may help. And the rest of us were combing Washington for her. But Bram was due back ages ago.
"No don't Simon," Alice said sharply, right before I decided to I turn my mind reading on. I looked at her, and knew she had a vision. "Please don't, come on. Let's hurry," she said and took off toward town. Nonplussed, I tore after her. As we ran, I picked up someone racing to join us. I smelled Jasper. We were headed to Seattle. "It's going to be okay, trust me," Alice spoke to me as we raced. I desperately wanted to read her mind. But I trusted her, and she told me not to. I felt warmth and peace try and invade my mind. Jasper was trying to use his empathic abilities to calm me.
"Don't," I snapped at Jasper. And for the first time in my new life, I felt like a vampire. I wasn't having his gift right now though. The feeling receded at once. I pushed myself harder, and ran next to Alice. I smelled Bram then, and my heart sank. I didn't want whatever bad thing she had a vision of to be connected to Bram. It was my ultimate nightmare "Alice, is he hurt?" I gasped. "Alice?!" I called out, as we raced down a dark street. Abruptly she wheeled and caught me around the stomach. It knocked me down and I took her with me. We hit the ground and slid forward. It didn't hurt us. I sprang to my feet. Then Jasper was there hovering protectively near Alice. I didn't understand why. I wasn't going to hurt her. She was on her feet too. "What was that!" I said thunderstruck.
"I wanted to stop you and saw that you wouldn't listen. He's hurt, I saw it. I didn't see how but I saw him here. And Simon, he's going to be okay, I promise," she told me desperately. Her eyes were huge and tortured. I couldn't think or speak. I just moaned. She rushed to me and took my hand.
"Come on, we'll take you to him, I just wanted to prepare you for this" she said gently, and pulled me forward. Jasper was there next to her and he looked somber. Around the corner was a park. On the ground I saw Bram lying behind a row of bushes. I couldn't. I couldn't handle this. Alice let me go and covered her mouth, looking upset. I staggered forward to Bram who was moaning quietly. He looked up at me and I read relief on his face.
"Oh god, god," I gasped at the sight of him. He was hurt badly, his arm broken, the piece reattached, but laying lifeless. And other parts broken too. I fell to my knees next to him. He looked pained, and reached for me with his good hand. I hyperventilated. "Bram...Bram… oh god baby...baby," I gasped. I could barely speak. I felt myself begin to sob hard. Harder than ever. I heard myself completely lose control, as if I was having an out of body experience. Could vampires lose their minds? I didn't know what to do. It was so painful to see his broken form I almost couldn't look. I reached for him gently, not wanting to hurt him even an ounce. He cringed at the slight pressure and I saw more damage when his shirt shifted. I felt dizzy. "B...babe I'm sorry," I wept, voice catching sharply. I gently encircled him in my arms and rested his head on my arm. My body was shaking so hard from the panic. My baby had been broken. Literally in pieces.
"Si.… Shhh," he pleaded weakly with me. "It's okay, it's okay, don't cry," he said and reached up to cup my check with his good hand. I trapped his hand with mine and held it to my cheek. With my other arm I hugged him a bit tighter and he didn't protest. "I'm fine. I'll heal," he whispered. He traced my lips with his fingers then rested his hand back down. He looked tired, for the first time in his vampire life. My heart ached for him. But I knew that now that we had him, he was going to be safe. This quieted my panic somewhat. Then Alice and Jasper were there looking burdened.
"We're so sorry we weren't there," Alice said in a hushed voice. "We've got to get him home Simon," she added gently. I shook my head a bit to clear it, I had to pull together.
"You're right, I'm sorry I lost it," I said and turned to Bram. "Can I carry you sweetheart?" I asked gently, in a quavering voice. I stroked his battered cheek. He nodded. I kneeled and gently gathered him in my arms. He moaned and I cradled him to my chest. He clutched his arm to him. The poor thing. "I'm so sorry honey, I'm sorry," I whispered, my voice choked. I kissed his hair and inhaled his sweet scent. We started back home, but a lot slower. I didn't want to jostle him. "Is he going to heal?" I managed as we ran back. Bram was pressed tightly to my chest. He moaned and I adjusted so he was jostled even less. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm taking you home honey," I comforted.
"Yes, remember my arm had to be reattached? Any damage we take can generally be healed. He just needs some time," Jasper said quietly, running behind us.
Bram nuzzled my chest with his cheek.
"Don't worry," he said in a rough voice. "I'll be fine."
I just shook my head miserably, and kept running. "What happened Bram?" I asked. We were finally closing in on Forks.
"I was looking for Ness, and I caught another vampire's scent. I followed it," he said. "When I caught up with him, we fought. I lost, but managed to hold my own a little. We both were in rough shape. He..he didn't have a lighter.." he managed.
I felt the worst slash of pain in my chest; as if ice stabbed my cold heart. He wasn't dead, because the vampire didn't happen to have a lighter? A lighter to set him on fire. I heard my breath race and strange, animal-like cries escaped from me. I almost had to stop running.
"Si..Simon, shhh. I'm fine. Shh," he whispered to me, and It felt like we were the only ones here at all; like on Earth. I registered nothing but him. "It's alright honey, I'm not going to die. I won't leave you," he vowed. My eyes would be so swollen if they could still tear.
"It was…so close. Oh my God," I moaned in a low, halting voice; unable to get the picture of this out of my head. He gripped my arm hard. It hurt a little, but the sudden pain slightly cleared my head.
"It's fine... It's fine," he continued in a soft warm voice. It was like a cross between a croon and a lullaby. I forced my breathing to slow. Old habit, now that we didn't need breath the same way.
And then there was a flood of calming emotion from Jasper. It was so powerful, it was almost like whiplash compared to my despair. Bram relaxed in my arms as he felt it too. I didn't communicate for him to stop this time. It was helping us get home with more focus; without the distracting panic. At home I slowed and entered the Cullen house. I went to our wing, and carried him to the bed; the bed we never at all used for rest until now.
I set him down gently. I couldn't tell if this improved his comfort. I wanted Carlisle to look at him, but he wasn't here. I said Jasper's name and he came into the room. I wished we could have a silent conversation, but it wasn't possible.
"Can.. Can you set him right?" I asked, not knowing what to say exactly.
"Yes," he said calmly, then moved forward and adjusted the broken arm. Bram didn't say anything at all, but I could tell this was painful from his expression. I felt wretched. Afterwards however, he did look much better than how we found him in the park. Jasper nodded to him when finished, and turned to leave the room. I didn't want to leave Bram alone, but I wanted to speak with Jasper. I followed him out. We had to move pretty far so Bram couldn't hear us talk.
"How long?" I asked and he knew what I meant.
"We don't heal as fast as werewolves, but he'll be alright in a few days. His arm is already better than mine was," he said, referring to the chaos in Volterra. I still felt concerned.
"I've been injured a lot in my past life, and I'm used to this sort of thing. Trust me," he said, and I once again stared at all his scars from that past. That made me feel better.
"Can I get him anything?" I asked.
"We could hunt, bring him game. But in a little while. Not at this stage of healing," he said. I nodded.
"Thank you," I said and retreated to our room. I pulled myself into the bed next to him and lay close, but still didn't touch him. I didn't want to move him out of place.
"Hello," he said, sounding tired, but alright also. I felt less anxiety hearing the strength there.
"Hello. I know you're not okay, but can I still ask anyway?" I asked. He smiled faintly, and closed his eyes.
"Yes. This it's nothing compared to burning. I already feel slightly better," he lied swiftly. I imagined he was telling the truth about burning though.
"Good. That's good. I'll be right here with you," I assured him.
"Maybe that's not the best. I want you and can't do anything about it," he said, sounding disappointed, and with an edge of desire in his voice.
"I know, I do too but this is for the best. Let's practice being the statues we are," I said in a positive tone. He didn't nod. He barely moved except to open his mouth or eyes. But I could tell he would have nodded from his expression.
"You know, that's fine with me," he said, conceding, and lapsed into silence. I did also, trying not to think about the agonizing details anymore. I wished we could sleep though. But lie still we did, and I listened to Jasper and Alice call the others on the phone. These weren't the only images I tried to block out. The stress of the last few days was pushing everyone to their breaking point. Points beyond anything I could fathom before. Was it true that vampires could love more strongly than humans? It seemed true, but also was nothing compared to the unconditional bond between an imprinted werewolf and his mate. But even beyond that, a love as old as humanity itself- the strongest love I had ever heard as a mind reader; a mother's love for her child. It was appalling that I could even hear such a thing in Bella's mind. Hearing her thoughts had been impossible for me in my first year of this immortal life. In fact, Edward had not been able to hear her thoughts in their first year together. It was only after she had mastered controlling her mental shield that she was able to lower it's protection around her. Without it, her thoughts were as clear as a bell. However, this was a, disjointed-in-between of the two extremes. I caught snippets of her thoughts, like trying to listen to a song when there was static. This was something that the others were fairly alarmed by. What did it mean? I could only come up with one explanation; Bella was so upset, so tormented, that her mental abilities were breaking down. I was sure it wasn't permanent. I couldn't imagine… Not even for a moment what hell she was going through. She had once told me about how before she became a vampire she was unable to talk to her father for a few weeks. They had been leading him on, telling him lies about where she was to stall him. He was frantic about his absent daughter. Finally, they had reunited him with her, only with great reservations. They didn't know if she could safely be near him. But it all worked out in the end and he didn't have to live with that panic anymore. I had heard her reflecting on this in her mind despite the static. She finally understood what it felt like, what she put him through. She couldn't forgive herself. But this all was also barely a distraction from the current horror of what was happening.
Bella and Ness had gone to the city together to look at maternity clothes. The most basic, safe, even boring activity a few vampires could do. And Bella had come home without her after many hours; catatonic with the fear and truth of the fact that Ness had disappeared. They separated briefly, planning to meet up, but then she had gone. The idea of it was so impossibly foreign to everyone that we thought it was a joke at first. What could she mean, lost? We could smell and hear with the best senses in the world. We could track a scent for miles…if we sought someone traveling on foot. Her scent had abruptly ended. The only explanation was that she got in a car. But not willingly. No one believed Ness ran away, or was under duress and snuck away to save someone from danger.
She left no message, and wasn't unhappy with anyone. She had dinner plans with Jake. Jake, oh god, it was the single worst moment I had ever felt until tonight. Certainly the worst I ever felt in another person's thoughts. I shut down my ability almost instantly, but not before gagging. An imprinted werewolf who lost the object of his imprinting? There was only one cure if it was permanent. No way could he go on without her. Their lives were woven into a complex unity that couldn't be broken. Soul mates wasn't strong enough to describe it. I had overheard their thoughts several times in curiosity, and was transfixed by the emotions there. I couldn't bear it now. Just like how I couldn't bear seeing Bram on the ground; broken. The only reason Jake was still with us, was to search the Earth for her. And I knew he would try. And he really wasn't with us. He was long gone with Bella and Edward, trying to find a vampire named Alistair. He was an acquaintance from years ago when the family faced off with the entire Volturi guard. He also was the only vampire they were aware of that was a tracker.
Alice had explained to me patiently in thought that a tracker was a vampire who was gifted with the ability to trace anyone. Anyone without a mental shield such as Bella's. Trackers could sense the flavor of someone's thoughts. I supposed that this meant he could pick people up across impossible distances the way I pick up a person's thoughts. It wasn't the same, but much much more rare and impressive. It allowed him to hide from the Volturi. He would just keep moving away from them, and theoretically could forever. But only one person could find him that they knew. Alice could see the future. She would see his actions if she concentrated on watching his decisions hard enough. It was easiest for her to see other vampires. She didn't need to be with them to help. She was a phone call away.
I was surprised that she was able to accompany Jasper and I to retrieve Bram. She was so focused on finding Alistair that she barely moved for days. But she was even more attuned to our family, and saw what would happen. I continued to listen to them in the other room, but I also thought back to the night we found out four days ago.
...
"What," came a faint voice. … And then there was a crash, loud and unexpected. I stepped back from Bram in shock at the sound. And then we moved into the other room without thought. One moment Edward was a statue, and I saw broken fragments of a table strewn across the room, and then he was on the ground, shuddering and gasping. He had heard the distant thoughts of Alice in the woods as she saw Bella, saw a vision of her terror and desperate search for Ness. Then she saw her dead face as she walked home at human speed, a lifeless expression on her face. News traveled fast. I read the same story in his head seconds later and froze. His flare of emotion was so fast it was like whiplash. In his head there was a scream of pain and fear. Because his daughter was gone. Kidnapped. He couldn't really scream though, he was gasping and sobbing, staring at the ground. I had to cut off feeling the pain in his head. I shut my mind to him, unable to withstand the horror of a parent losing his child. He kept crying but I couldn't do anything. What could I say? Nothing could fix this. The sound hurt though. I wanted to help. Slowly I kneeled next to him.
"Edward, I'm here.. I'm so..sor," I couldn't say more. He rested his head on the ground. I heard more of them running, and looked up to see the head of our family, Carlisle, tearing down the staircase, having heard his son's outburst. His face was panicked and for the first time in a while, I thought of him as Edward's true father, more than just the family's figurehead. He dropped next to Edward looking him over, clearly trying to see if he was physically hurt. I got up and stepped back from them.
"Edward, son, what's happening," he begged him and tried to take hold of his shoulders. I saw Esme sprinting after him looking pale and terrified. "Edward," Carlisle tried again, and Edward weakly threw him off. He couldn't answer. The front door flew off its hinges. I gasped, shocked and saw Alice in the doorway looking even worse than her parents. She was shaking in terror, her eyes on the ground.
"Alice," what did you see?" He asked her looking up. She looked just as unable to speak. I cleared my tight throat. Carlisle looked at me with a rapt expression. It appeared like I would need to be the one to tell them. I felt a light touch on my shoulder. Bram, trying to comfort me, not demanding an answer yet.
"N..Ness, she's.." What? Hurt? Dead? Worse? "Lost," is what I settled on. He blinked, not comprehending. Bram gripped my shoulder and I knew it was because I swayed where I stood.
"Not.. Not on her own they don't think. Taken," I whispered, because my words triggered another round of Edward's despair.
"What?" Cried Esme from behind us.
"My granddaughter is.. missing?" said Carlisle, with an air of trying out the impossible wording. Edward muffled another sob. Carlisle looked at him looking devastated.
"It's okay, son, we'll find her… please," he asked in a shaking voice. He tried to lift Edward up but not so hard if Edward didn't want to move. "I know, I know, I promise you," he told him, and I could tell from his voice he was vampire crying also. Edward reached up and hugged him. They stayed like that for a long time. Bram kneeled next to me and I realized that I had sunk down myself again. He hugged me gently, but not in a way that was indecent for present company. Like a friend, not a lover. I registered my voice breaking too. I mean, Ness was my closest friend after Bram, Leah. And she was pregnant. And missing and maybe hurt. "Shh," he breathed, and I felt some of the lancing pain ebb slightly at his voice.
"We need..to start.." Alice managed in a frozen whisper. Yes. We're needed to plan. We needed... Emmett. It was so true. He could be the clear mind right now. All of us were so compromised. He always managed stable emotions.
"Where is Em?" I managed. My voice sounded broken.
"On his way. He knows," Alice breathed. I glanced at her face and she was making eye contact with Jasper. He looked unhappy, and I could tell, without mind reading that she wanted him to do something he didn't want to do. Then I felt a deep calm race over the room. Fast and solid like a brick wall. Jasper was doing it.
"No.. fuck.." Edward growled. It was ferocious. He didn't want any control in this life shattering moment removed from him.
"Edward, let him. It will help you work," Alice said, pushing back. She wasn't wrong. Courage was strengthening in me.
I stirred and Bram pulled me up gently. He hugged me slightly then stood back. We needed Emmett to get here faster. For yet another reason. Jake would lose his fucking mind if he didn't know already. Honestly someone may have to knock him out. He would lash out, lose sanity. I looked at Alice, her eyes and jaw were set. She must have lost her sight. Jake was coming.
Emmett arrived soon after. Bram and I joined him in the front yard.
"We'll need to contain Jake. If we have any hope of moving out tonight." He said in a set voice. I thought, no shit. But also how? Emmett's thoughts were clear, not compromised. But I couldn't listen long because I still picked up Edward and couldn't handle it. But I also picked up Jake and gasped in fear.
He was irritated. Wondering why someone held up Ness for dinner. Jesus. I wanted to apparate away like Harry Potter. And suddenly, shockingly, Bram flew into motion. He raced toward Jake and after a beat Emmett followed. I blinked in shock. What? But then I realized only one person could stop Jake right then and in only a few blows. Bram, our strong newborn. I honestly felt panicked for his life. What if he didn't knock him out fast enough?
"Carlisle!" I called. In a moment he came, gasping and trying to steady himself.
"Is there a way we can keep Jake under?" I asked, sounding messed up.
"Unconscious?" He asked. I nodded. He followed my thinking, I was sure of it. He knew if we didn't, Jake would injure himself or others. He dashed inside and I started to run after the others. Bram. He couldn't get hurt. He couldn't. I heard trees smashing down and reluctantly choose to mind read again. Emmett crashed forward and trees seemed to fly out of his way. And then Jake felt shocked and worried. He stopped running, and thought of the Volturi. He started running to intercept. Emmett was being loud. So I figured Bram was being stealthy. I was right. When Emmett hit a clearing in the trees, Jake reached it at the same moment and stared slack jawed at Emmett barreling toward him. What? Was all he managed in thought. Then dodged Emmett, right into Bram. Bram swung out, and I almost yelled in panic. He couldn't hurt him, he couldn't kill him. He hit Jake neatly, hitting nothing vital. They flew into the trees and snapped them like twigs. Jake yelped and spun. But he was zero match for the newborn. Bram hit him again but I realized not hard. Just enough to be a strong werewolf equivalent.
"Careful!" I heard in thought and another vampire came up behind me. Carlisle. He joined us and made a beeline for Jake who was on the ground moaning. Jake was afraid acutely. Not understanding why his family was attacking him. I blinked against the feeling of phantom tears in my eyes. I made it to where everyone was. Bram and Emmett were standing back as Carlisle kneeled next to the wolf.
"I'm sorry," Carlisle was telling Jake and I felt the physical pain in Jake's head. He broke some bones alright. "Change.." Carlisle implored gently. "Change, it's not what you think. I promise I won't hurt you." He said, steadying him. I looked at Bram and my breathing caught. He was holding his stomach looking sick. Sick with the thought of his hurting Jake. I was at his side in a moment. But I could tell Bram didn't want to be touched. He was too upset.
"Jake, change.." Carlisle asked again and he finally did. His thoughts were still pained. I looked at his human face and saw pain-tears on his face and fear in his eyes. I could barely handle this too. "You'll be fine son. Don't panic no one will hurt you again," he said, taking something from his bag.
"W..why.. What… What did I do?" He rasped. Emmett looked guilty. Bram turned away, unable to cope. He started back to the house. I followed him. Where he went, I went.
"Bram, sweetheart, you just helped him," I said evenly. I turned the gift off as we closed in on Edward at the house. I heard the others bringing Jake back. Carlisle gave him a sedative. Good. I hoped he would keep him out for a while. In the main room Esme and Edward were still on the floor. Bella hadn't made it back. He couldn't move to her. Edward was frozen. Her return was soon though.
They came in with Jake and the others looked at him in guilt. He was asleep. They moved off to put him in a room. Carlisle left and I assumed to set up something to keep him under. He spoke from the back room.
"He broke some bones but he will heal. No lasting damage," he said it for Bram's sake. Bram still looked traumatized. My heart ached for him. He had never hurt anyone in his life.
Carlisle was setting the bones carefully then I heard a blanket being placed over him.
"Good," said Emmett. He was gazing at Edward who had apparently become catatonic.
"We need to sweep the area. Make a plan," Alice spoke quietly.
"That could work," said Jasper. "So, who's going?" he whispered.
"Me," Edward whispered. We all started in surprise.
"Bella, Jake.." he breathed. Carlisle gripped his arm.
"What about me?" He asked. Edward shook his head.
"I want you here to treat her if she comes home," he whispered again.
"The rest of us should stay," said Jasper. "Ready to fly into action if Alice sees something," he continued. Edward didn't reply. I took that as consent. What next?
"When you guys go, we'll continue to explore options here." Emmett said. No one moved. Then Emmett stepped up to Edward and pulled him up. Edward barely responded. "Brother we need to do this. You know who you need to find," he said urgently.
"Alistair," Edward murmured. I didn't know who he was, but I held my tongue for the moment.
"I'll start looking for him, figure out which continent to start with," Alice said, sitting down in a chair. She couldn't be at the table. It was in pieces.
"I'll start checking the airlines. He's probably in Europe," Esme said, and drifted from the room.
For the first time, I registered that Rose was not with us. I frowned and looked around for her.
"Rose is hunting," Alice said. She obviously just had seen my future. "Emmett texted her, she's coming back."
I nodded and looked back at Edward. He shook his head sharply, trying to clear it.
"Bella," he breathed, and walked quickly out the broken front door. She must be back. I was relieved her thoughts were silent.