Sup y'all! Happy 2021, y'all. Not even a full month in and it's already wild.
When Edward came downstairs to have breakfast like every Saturday morning, he heard yet another argument between Hermione and Harry regarding the Half-Blood Prince's book. Apparently, Harry had tried a random one called Levicorpus and Ron had ended up hanging upside down by one leg. Edward sighed: while he found the Prince's information on potions very interesting and even brilliant, he didn't think the same of the spells he invented. These certainly revealed that the person was an expert in charms but also that he or she had a weakness for humiliating others. The second time Harry had attacked Filch with the spell that stuck his tongue to the roof of his mouth, he had sharply reminded the Boy-Who-Lived if he really wanted to imitate that aspect of his father. Harry had blushed and promised not to pick on others again… without reason.
But today, that was something else that worried Edward. He took Harry and his two friends aside so they could tell him the story with Levicorpus again. Ed frowned and asked whether Harry had tried the curse without knowing what its effects were. Harry nodded, answering without understanding:
"Oh, yes. But it wasn't dangerous. Just, uh, a joke."
"In bad taste, by the way." Hermione stated.
"Calm down, Hermione, I don't think Harry cast it maliciously, but what worries me is that you cast this spell without knowing its effects. Imagine if it was something really dangerous."
"And about that," Hermione continued, "I wish we stopped calling him Prince like that was his title! Considering his spells, he can't have been very respectable."
"We don't know." Edward said wisely, "He could very well have invented this spell to attack as well as to defend himself. And since we don't know who they are, we can only call them by that title. Be reasonable, Hermione. However, Harry, I would like you to stop using these spells without trying them on a mannequin first and knowing what they do. This is the minimum I ask of you. Unknown spells can be dangerous!"
"Deal!" Harry said hastily, glad that Edward, unlike Hermione, hadn't rejected the Prince altogether.
At the same moment, Ginny arrived with a roll of parchment announcing that the next class with Dumbledore would be on Monday evening. He had also invited Ginny to accompany them, which she gladly accepted, provided Neville and Luna could join them. Along the way, they could take the opportunity to talk about their progress in becoming Animagi. But before that they had to go through the terrible ordeal of Filch using a Secrecy Sensor, and Ron had to take a few blows for his impertinence.
On the way to Hogsmeade, the seven friends discussed their progress in using the magical energy hidden deep inside them without using wands. Edward was getting there without any problem, having been training for a good part of the summer. Harry was still having difficulty because of his two different sources of magic. Luna said she would probably get there soon, as she could see the Wrackspurts around people better than ever and Ginny felt close to the goal. Neville, Ron, and Hermione on the other hand were feeling disappointed that they were getting nowhere, so Edward gave them some advice including remembering the few times they had used accidental magic. The three friends promised to follow his instructions.
When they got to Hogsmeade, they realized that the outing wouldn't be very fun: Zonko's and a few other shops were closed. Luckily, Honeydukes was open and they were able to stock up on sweets. Slughorn was there too and he tried to invite Harry and his three friends to dinner on Monday night but this time Harry couldn't come and Slughorn had to settle for Edward, Ron, and Hermione for his dinner invitation. The potions professor seemed to have (finally) noticed that Harry was more comfortable when he also invited Ron and he had a renewed interest in the Weasley family when the redhead told him that his brothers Fred and George had become official suppliers to the Ministry.
They arrived in time to see Mundungus attempting to escape with items stolen from Sirius' house, which put Harry beside himself. Edward and Hermione found it difficult to calm him down as they entered the Three Broomsticks. Neville and Luna hadn't understood much of what had happened but they were silent, being careful not to irritate their friend. Ron had gone to order them all butterbeers and returned, taking care to serve Hermione with the most generously filled mug. The young redhead had learned tact over summer vacation, it seems… They argued again about their 'advanced project', hoping to start the transformation before the December holidays.
Then Ed made a cheerful comment about Malfoy being in detention that Saturday for not handing in his Transfiguration homework, reminding Harry to update Neville and Luna about Malfoy's plans for a wardrobe. Luna just said that other than the passage to Narnia it reminded her of nothing and Neville shook his head.
They left the Three Broomsticks, trying to get back to the castle as quickly as possible because the icy wind was whipping them in the face. At that moment, they heard the cries of an argument between Katie Bell and Leanne, her best friend. They seemed to be arguing over a package. Finally, what had to happen happened: the bundle tore and a strange phenomenon occurred: Katie rose gracefully into the air, her hair swirling around her expressionless face, her eyes closed. Suddenly, the girl began to utter a terrible howl of horror and she fell but was caught in time by Ron and Harry who tried to lay her down.
But Katie was seized with convulsions now and she continued to scream as she struggled, not recognizing anyone. Edward leaned over her, then looked at the torn package and ordered everyone not to touch it. Then he asked Harry, the fastest of them, to go get help. The latter was not long in returning with Hagrid who took the young girl in his arms to take her to the castle.
Edward, for his part, had grabbed an opal necklace from the package with his scarf. Leanne recounted what had happened and it wasn't long before the group realized that the young Chaser had been in the grip of the Imperius. Edward continued the interrogation with an authority seldom seen in him, asking her if she knew who had given it to him or to whom she should give it but the older girl did not know.
Harry claimed that Malfoy was aware of the existence of this necklace but Edward shook his head mournfully: Malfoy had the best of alibis since he was in detention with Professor McGonagall. The latter arrived and ordered Edward to take the necklace to Professor Snape; the latter did as quickly as possible. If Snape knew anything about anything, it was curses.
The professor immediately left for the infirmary. As for Edward, he went to meet the others in their HQ (ie, the Room of Requirement) and they began to discuss the Malfoy = Death Eater theory. Ron and Hermione doubted Malfoy's guilt on this one because the Slytherin had a concrete alibi. Edward admitted that they were right about that point of view but that didn't mean he was totally innocent. After all, someone in Hogsmeade might well have been working for him and delivered the package to Katie Bell. In that case, the young Ravenclaw pointed out, it was likely a woman since the package had been handed over in the girls' toilet. The discussion ended with these last words. Now it remained to be seen who was targeted…
On Monday night, Harry went to his lesson in Dumbledore's office while Edward, Ron and Hermione went to Slug's club supper. The professor had said he would throw a Christmas party with a few guests. Ron was too busy asking for an autograph from Gwenog Jones to see the furtive glance Hermione was giving him. Nevertheless, he managed to make up for it by asking Hermione if she would go with him instead of bringing someone new. However, the brunette confided in him that she had thought to ask Neville but only as a friend. Ron looked sullen until the Gryffindor gave him a kiss on the cheek telling him that they would be at the party together and that was what mattered. Of course, they promised Professor Slughorn to pass the invitation on to Harry.
Meanwhile, the latter shared with Professor Dumbledore the sensation he had felt when he had dreamed a few nights ago. The Headmaster had seemed preoccupied to learn that Voldemort was at least as obsessed with the book as he had been with the prophecy last year. This visibly worried the venerable wizard but he had obviously decided to continue to show the Boy-Who-Lived the genesis of the dark mage by showing him memories taken from the Pensieve. It showed how much importance Harry's mentor attached to Voldemort's past and its relevance in the present.
However, Harry could see that Dumbledore seemed more concerned than when he arrived as he asked him if he could find any new information on the subject of this mysterious work. The fact that the Headmaster himself called the book "mysterious" proved how badly he needed information on this subject.
On Tuesday morning, during Herbology, Harry shared the contents of his lesson with Dumbledore with Edward, Ron and Hermione. As Ron had put it so well, Riddle was scary even at the tenderest age. Edward wondered if there wasn't a correlation between the child being the result of a love potion and his heartless character. He seemed particularly interested in Riddle's obsession with collecting objects from his victims and he almost yelled when he heard that Dumbledore seemed to be mysteriously vague about the ring he had worn. According to him, this was proof that the ring had been in Voldemort's possession and that there must be some secrecy surrounding it. Harry was thinking the same as him, but he was concentrating more on the locket: again, he was sure he had seen it recently, but where?
The conversation had to end when Professor Sprout broke up the group and placed Edward with Neville. The two boys fought against the plant and Edward uttered strong curses that scandalized even Professor Sprout, who was used to hearing such nonsense from her students. Eventually, they were the first to get a pod even though they had paid a heavy price for it: Neville had long scratches on his cheek and Edward had a split lip and a beautiful shiner. But subsequently, the young Amestrian decided to threaten the plant with an incendio and it agreed to let them pluck its pods, a sign that the plant wanted to hold on to its many tentacles...
Meanwhile, Harry was having issues with his players: he had to replace Katie with Dean, but it had been reluctantly because he didn't like the looks his roommate was giving Ginny all that much. And she didn't seem too thrilled either even though, in a very professional way, she put her emotions aside during the game. But at least Dean was playing well. Ron was the problem because he was very uneven in his performance. Harry was considering asking Hermione to do her homework in the Quidditch stadium to make sure her friend managed to block the goals because without her Ron was a disaster. He was even considering tricking his best friend into thinking he had drunk Felix Felicis but he didn't need to because Hermione just had to show up on game day and whisper "I believe in you" to him to make Ron feel ready to stop all the goals.
The match was a hall of fame for both Weasleys: Ginny scored goal after goal and Ron sometimes made professional saves. Zacharias Smith himself had to stop his perfidious remarks concerning the relations of the two players with their captain. Hermione was clapping wildly and was careful to show that she was cheering Ron harder than Lavender. Edward felt a bit lost in the midst of this hormonal turmoil and was glad he stayed with Luna: he wondered with a smile if the four Circle lovebirds were going to confess one of these days. He screamed in joy when Harry won the match and burst out laughing when Ginny inadvertently forgot to brake and ended up crashing into Zacharias Smith. You could say it was a beautiful day!
At the end of the day, Hermione and Edward were heading towards Gryffindor tower after the young girl invited the Ravenclaw to celebrate Gryffindor's resounding victory over Slytherin. But on the way, they heard Ron's voice and Hermione, without saying a word, made her way to the room where Ron and Lavender were standing. Lavender, from what little she had spied on, had just asked Ron to go out with her and Ron was responding to her. Edward wondered what was going to happen and feared the worst for Ron and Hermione's budding relationship, especially since he had made a bet with several other students regarding Gryffindor romantic relationships…
"That's nice, Lavender, but I already love someone else and…"
"Let me guess, she has bushy hair and she's Miss Know-It-All?" Lavender exclaimed angrily.
"Hermione is a know-it-all and her hair is messy, it's true, but she is able to style it like two years ago!"
By this time, Hermione was running away quickly followed by Edward who tried to calm her down. She took refuge in an empty classroom, accompanied by the young Ravenclaw.
"He called me a know-it-all again; sometimes I wonder what I find in him!" She sobbed.
"Come on, Hermione, you know Ron! You know he couldn't compliment anyone even if his life depended on it. Besides, I think you missed the point in his statement." Edward said with a wink.
"What do you mean?"
"He didn't deny that he was very much in love with you in his description…" Ed smirked, wiping the tears from the young Gryffindor.
Then he walked her back to the tower where Harry asked them where they had been. Ron and Lavender had come home and were giving each other icy glances (obviously their discussion hadn't fixed their broken relationship) and Miss Brown was glaring at Hermione. During the party that followed, Harry seemed to have his gaze elsewhere (the elsewhere was regularly the sight of Ginny's slender figure). He sat down next to Edward, two butterbeers in hand and whispered:
"Do you know how to tell your best friend that you are in love with his sister?"
Definitely, it was a night for romance... Edward decided to answer frankly:
"As a general rule, I think you start by making your declaration to the girl you love before telling your best friend, but I could be wrong…"
"Not when the girl you love is your best friend's sister. Ginny is fantastic but she has six over-protective brothers…"
"You're in deep trouble. But I still think you should tell Ginny first. A girl feels more flattered that way." Edward concluded with a big smile. He and Luna were going to win big with their bets…
The month of December passed slowly: the frost settled gently on the windows of the school, the wind hissed and froze everyone's ears and the snow formed thick snowdrifts where Edward sank up to the waist… Harry and Edward soon found themselves confronted with a problem: they were single, attractive and famous, a combination that seemed intolerable for all the girls over fourteen at this school, especially when it came to the "single" part. Ed had thought to get rid of the problem very quickly by inviting Luna as his partner to Slughorn's party, but apparently there were still girls ready to convince him that he could do much better than Loony Lovegood. And that was without the infernal plant named mistletoe! Every time he passed through a hallway where the branches of this damned plant were hanging, the females would giggle and give him languid glances while standing under the mistletoe, thus cluttering the passage to the library- a crime in the eyes of Edward who wanted nothing more than a little peace of mind to work. Luckily, Harry knew a few secret passages devoid of that damn plant!
The two boys had indeed become moving romantic targets: Harry with his fame, his physique as a Quidditch seeker and his status as a wealthy heir, and Edward and the mystery surrounding his coming, his prodigy and his golden eyes made them local heartthrobs. The worst part was that it had taken Hermione telling them for them to learn that very determined young ladies wanted them willingly or by force, including resorting to love potions. Edward had immediately decided not to drink anything anyone offered him; hiis paranoia threatened to surpass that of Mad Eye Moody. Harry wasn't the most reassured either and asked Ed if he had a solution to this.
Edward winked at him and advised Harry to invite Ginny: Ron would probably only see an invitation as a friend, he himself could get rid of the other girls and who knows, maybe he would finally find the opportunity to settle things with the young chaser… Harry blushed but seemed to consider this advice excellent.
When the hour of the party arrived, the girls gathered behind the large staircase of the hall of Hogwarts could see the two boys arrive with their dates: Luna, in her silver dress and Ginny in an almond green dress. The two girls were beautiful and the two boys presented their arms to their date delightedly.
The Gryffindor and Ravenclaw couples entered the dungeons where Slughorn's little party had been held. It could not be denied that the latter knew how to organize festive evenings: the rooms had been enlarged by means of magic because, Harry knew, the Potion professor's office was much smaller ordinarily. Magnificent draperies of a beautiful emerald green adorned the walls and the ceiling, giving the occupants the impression of being in a large tent. A golden lamp hung from the ceiling and lit the room, as well as small fairies which gave a side which the girls would call "insanely romantic". The music of mandolins echoed in the room, reminiscent of a ball of old. House Elves walked around carrying heavy silver platters filled with sandwiches of all kinds as well as alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.
The rooms were full of people: Hogwarts students, alumni, celebrities… But none could boast of being more famous than Harry Potter, the pearl of the potions master's collection. The boy was well aware of this and he felt uncomfortable with the looks that many were giving him. So he made up his mind to imitate Edward: greet, listen politely and move on. Luckily, he had Ginny with him and her presence by his side, beautiful and joyful, gave him patience and courage to face all these people. Then Slughorn grabbed him by the arm to introduce him in person to a few guests he knew personally while insisting that Edward accompany them. The latter didn't take long before being immersed in a conversation with Worple on certain aspects of vampiric magic, thus diverting the latter from the idea of writing yet another book on Harry Potter. The latter was very grateful to Edward: he did not want to spend his time answering interviews, thank you very much!
Finally, after getting rid of the clingy guests, the Circle members were able to find themselves in a quieter corner of the room. There was only Professor Trelawney whom everyone avoided due to the strong smell of alcohol emanating from her. They began to whisper about their progress in their Animagus project:
"I think I've made progress!" Hermione said happily, trying to curb her enthusiasm so as not to be noticed. "The meditation book I found in the library is fantastic for meditation. It says it may even help Occlumency! Anyway, when I got up after my session, I had cat ears, a tail, paws and hair all over my body! Fortunately I had the counter-spell that Professor Lupin taught me, otherwise I would have found myself in the infirmary again!"
"I've made progress, too!" Ron grinned with eyes shining with excitement. "My hair was shaped like a lion's mane this morning and it was even darker! It sounded like my first accidental magic that mom told me about! On the other hand, I couldn't remember the spell to go back to normal so I had to tie my hair like Bill. But whatever! If this had happened last year, I would have believed it was a joke from Fred and George…"
"I managed to tap into my magical heart and transform my face," Neville confessed embarrassedly, "by remembering the time I bounced back when my great uncle Algie dropped me from the fourth floor window."
"I always thought your great uncle should have spent a few months in jail for doing that to you! I'm sure his repeated attempts to verify if you're a Squib are responsible for your lack of confidence!" Ginny said wildly. Then, seeing that everyone was watching her, awaiting her results, she said, "Oh, me? As you know, I made the mistake of trying it out during Binns class. It worked out a bit too well since I ended up with bat wings. Everyone believed that one of my Bat Bogey Hexes had turned on me" She said wincing as she thought about it.
"I managed to transform myself almost entirely!" Luna said, her face lit up with pride. "All I need is the greenhouses and it's over."
"You're not a Ravenclaw for nothing!" Ginny congratulated her with a big approving smile.
"Yeah, but Ed isn't far from it either," replied the ethereal girl modestly.
"I miss the eyes but other than that, I'm all good!" Edward said, blushing as he remembered his last attempt: a young Ravenclaw had entered his dorm room to borrow a book and saw him resting on his bed in his almost animal form. The girl had rushed over to him and cuddled the little three-legged gold-eyed fennec against her chest while telling him how cute he was. The otherworlder didn't know if he could survive his shame if Luna, who seemed to know everything, ever told the other members of the Circle.
"What I don't understand is what happens to your metal leg when you transform." Hermione wondered.
"Oh, technically, I make it disappear by sending it into a magico-spatial dimension of my composition and then I make it reappear when I need it. Unfortunately, I have to re-attach it to myself after becoming a human again and it hurts like hell." Ed said with a grimace.
"I think I managed a perfect transformation." Harry revealed. The boy was rightfully proud of what he had just accomplished. He knew his father had been so good at Transfiguration that he became an Animagus as a teenager and now the young Gryffindor felt like he was walking in his father's best footsteps. Following Edward's advice, he had worked hard, watching for hours on this one project, limiting himself to using his true magical heart and today he had succeeded in becoming a peregrine falcon, the fastest bird in the world.
He smiled proudly when he saw Ginny's beautiful smile, who looked at him with pride: everyone in the Circle seemed happy for him and that was why he was happy to have them as friends: the times of Ron's jealousy and stupid arguments was over. There was still a bit of tension surrounding the Half-Blood Prince, but that didn't affect his success for the day because everyone was happy for him.
"Soon it will be our turn." Neville said with a decided tone.
"I wonder who will be next between Luna and Edward." Ginny smiled, giving them a wink.
But unfortunately the bets on the subject were interrupted by Slughorn who arrived in their corner holding a piece of Christmas pie in one hand and a glass overflowing with mead in the other. Harry stood in the midst of his Ravenclaw and Gryffindor friends and listened absently to his potion praise, until Slughorn brought Professor Snape into the conversation. Harry swallowed hard: even though his relationship with the former potions professor had reached the much desired stage of neutrality, he couldn't help but feel a little apprehensive when Slughorn mentioned his new potions skills.
He almost literally felt Professor Snape's gaze weigh on him, no doubt wondering the cause of his new potions virtuosity but luckily he didn't try to enter his mind- not that Harry would have let him, but still... The sharp professor just made a neutral remark, stating that, in Potter's case, the apple might not have fallen very far from the tree.
Harry wondered if Professor Snape was being sarcastic or if he was paying him a compliment. Given that Slughorn had just mentioned his mother and as far as he knew Professor Snape had never insulted her memory, then the young Gryffindor decided to give his current Defense teacher the benefit of the doubt by thinking that he was referring to Lily Potter. After all, despite being the spitting image of his father, Harry was also, by an equal part, his mother's son, right?
In any case, the conversation had shifted to his choice of career as well as that of his friends and he realized that each of them already had well-established goals: Harry and Ron wanted to become Aurors, Hermione intended to work in the Department of Magic Law Enforcement, Luna wanted to become a reporter for the Quibbler, and Ginny wanted to join the female-only Quidditch team led by Gwenog Jones. As for Neville, he surprised them all when he informed them of his decision to become a professor of Herbology in the near future.
Eyes then turned to Edward who had yet to reveal anything about his future although it was the subject of much speculation from teachers and students alike. As for his future, the young Amestrian had thought about it but only in his world, however, he could afford to be more or less honest about it. So he asserted that he intended to travel to several countries to see if they had another way of approaching magic and perhaps he could publish his research. Hermione then hastened to tell him that his handwriting was perfect and that his work on House Elves had been very enlightening for SPEW.
At that moment, Snape turned to the door and the members of the Circle followed his gaze... and barely hid their smiles: Filch held Draco Malfoy by the ear and explained to his Head of House that the young Slytherin had tried to sneak into the party without permission. Luckily for him Slughorn, after several glasses of mead, was in a rather debonair mood and allowed Malfoy to stay. However, this was not the case with Professor Snape: the latter seemed angry but above all frightened, an emotion that was very rarely seen in him. The former potions professor took Draco briskly and led him outside, reminding Harry, Edward and Hermione that they had one last alchemy lesson before the train left.
Harry and Edward calmly made their way to the door leading to the hallway and once out of Slughorn's party they hid themselves under the Potters' invisibility cloak and searched for where Snape might have taken Draco. It wasn't long before they discovered them and the two boys eavesdropped on the conversation: apparently Professor Snape was trying to find out about Malfoy's plans but Malfoy was obviously good at Occlumency because he managed to prevent his Head of House from probing his mind. The latter therefore tried to negotiate with his student, mentioning in passing an Unbreakable Oath, seeking to know what Draco could hide from him, but without success because the Slytherin had the intention of accomplishing his task alone, without help. Soon after, when Snape mentioned Lucius Malfoy, Draco walked out of the room and Edward and Harry barely had time to move out of his way.
Edward, Harry and Hermione were seated in Professor Snape's alchemy class as Professor Snape had scheduled a session just before the Hogwarts Express left. Unfortunately, they could not discuss what Ed and Harry had heard as Professor Snape did not tolerate any gossip during this class and had said earlier in the year that he would dismiss any student who did not show the required concentration in this difficult subject. But at the same time, none of them regretted it because the lesson of the day was, frankly, fascinating.
The theme was sacrifice and Professor Snape spoke eloquently about it, explaining how surrendering something precious to the alchemist could, in some cases, allow him to push his limits. He approached this subject by comparing it to that of the game of chess where the sacrifice of a centerpiece could grant victory. Harry was thoughtful and thought that Ron would have understood well this particular lesson, being so good at chess. But at the same time, something tormented him to the point that he had decided to take his courage in both hands to go see Professor Snape at the end of class.
"Professor? I have a question for you and I wonder if it falls under alchemy. This is about what happened the night my parents died… I wanted to ask you: why did this only work for me? I am sure other mothers were ready to sacrifice their lives for their children and yet they did not survive, unlike me. What could my mother have that could give me so much protection that she put off Vol- You Know Who for a long time?"
"Have you ever wondered if it wasn't you who had something special?" Professor Snape asked with a slight venom in his voice.
"Frankly, I think I've never thought that, sir. Deep down, I always thought it was my mother who had something special. Professor Dumbledore tried to explain it to me in my first year but I don't understand what he meant to me. I have the impression that I am missing something." Harry said calmly, ignoring his professor's acerbic tone.
"What made the difference, Potter, was that your mother, unlike the other women, had a choice." Professor Snape said in a voice that had the slightest tremor before leaving in the great swirling of the cloak that was customary for him.
Harry remained alone in the room for a few minutes then realizing that eleven o'clock was about to strike, he went to join Edward and the others near the stagecoaches. Once on the train with his friends, he explained to them what Professor Snape had told him. He felt like he was no further ahead, at least until he remembered the last words between Voldemort and his mother. As Snape had said, Lily Potter had had the choice between stepping aside and letting her son be killed or die, even knowing that her death might be in vain since Harry was going to be killed anyway. But she hadn't, in the end.
He then wondered why Voldemort had decided to spare his mother but when he said his question out loud he saw Edward carefully look away, as if he knew the answer. And then the light dawned on Harry's mind: in the past year, hadn't Edward asked him to give his potions teacher a chance? Could it be Snape who asked for mercy for his mother's life? He couldn't imagine it. Snape didn't seem to like anyone, he was embittered and… maybe his mother's death explained a lot. Could it be that Snape loved his mother so much that he asked for her to be spared? But Harry refused to think about it, it was such a brutal revelation that he preferred to bury it deep inside and make it unattainable.
So he put on a good face and preferred to chat with Ron about the upcoming holidays without noticing that Edward had caught sight of the realization in Harry's eyes…
Translator's note: the part with Narnia is only not lost in translation because I forgot the name of the Vanishing Cabinet half the time and just called it a wardrobe. It's not a big deal and the words mean basically the same thing but if I had caught that this reference would have been pretty untranslatable directly because it's not the proper name; I would have probably gotten 'creative' and changed it to reference The Indian in the Cupboard (a classic series where toys placed in a special cabinet/cupboard come to life until they are placed back). Though this does imply that Luna has read the Narnia books, which brings up more questions. Like, does she get that Arslan is a very blunt allegory for the big JC? Eh, whatever.