Authors Note: HEYO! XD Please tell me what you think; I would love to know XD I own nothing and no one.

JUST SO YOU KNOW: I have taken creative liberties with middle names, so please take that into consideration. Also, I've only seen the Anime and have only JUST started the Manga.

This is my FIRST Death Note fic, so I suppose you could say I'm new to the Fandom! Also, I live in England, I don't know Japanese, so any Japanese I use in this story I get from Google Translate XD

Please, please review XD

P.S. This is an AU - Light was never Kira, but still helped during the investigation; obviously, Light and L did not die; the Kira case took 1 year to clear up, not (about) 7; set in 2016. I apologise for OOCness, but it IS an AU ;)

SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT, BUT I'M AT UNIVERSITY!

Chapter 7

L

To say I was shocked was an understatement.

The boys, my boys, were coming to Japan. They were getting on a flight, in England, at midday. They would take an eleven hours and forth five minute flight to Japan. They would arrive at eight forty five in the morning, Japan time...

The three of them were taking the jet owned by Watari and the home. Before, it had only ever been used by Watari and I, to get us from case to case, wherever the next one would lead us. Since we could not keep it behind the house, it was stored at Heathrow Airport, where it was properly tended to before and after use.

Never did I think my boys would come to Japan.

I didn't know what to say.

I could barely move from the chair.

I never thought Rodger would allow the three of them to fly by themselves. He never let any of them go anywhere, outside of the home, by themselves. When I lived in England, he didn't have to worry so much - the boys went wherever I went, until I had a case... Whenever I left, the boys had to have an adult present when they left the house.

In some ways, I understood.

Even in England, I had enemies. Enemies that knew my face and a fake name, yet not who I really was. They knew where I lived, they knew about the boys. Many a time I had had threats aimed at me, a lot of them involving my boys. Many a time, I had almost been assaulted on the rare occasion I left the house by myself. If the boys went out, if they were seen by these people and I wasn't around, I could only imagine what would happen to them.

But Rodger was letting them fly to Japan, just them and the pilots.

No adult.

No supervision.

I had no idea how to react.

Now, don't take me the wrong way. I loved that I would be seeing my boys. I loved that I would be able to spend time with them. I loved that they and Light would be able to meet. It was nothing to do with me not wanting them in Japan with me, it was that I was worried.

I was worried that something would happen, that they would get hurt and I wouldn't be able to stop it.

It was my job to look after them. Ever since the day they came to the house, ever since I had met them, it had become my job. A job I had gladly accepted. I loved that job... But I was scared. Scared of failing.

I didn't want to fail at protecting my boys.

I didn't know what to do with myself.

I couldn't sit still.

I couldn't stay in the same room for more than five minutes at a time.

I had to keep moving, had to keep myself occupied. The minute I stopped, the minute I let myself think about what was going on, I would drive myself insane with worry. Worry that something would go wrong with the plane; worry that someone, anyone, would get to them first.

How was I supposed to keep calm when that was in my head?

On the outside, to most people, I suppose it would look as if I was just thinking. They would never be able to tell what was going on inside me. That was only because I had trained myself. I had taught myself how to keep my internal thoughts and feelings closed off to everyone else. It helped with my job, especially when I had to get myself involved in person, like I had to with the Kira Case.

Watari was the only one who could see through my act. Light was starting to, but Watari was the one who could tell every time. Not that that was a surprise. He practically raised me, he cared for me. He was the one to help me reach my goal of being a great detective. So of course Watari would be able to tell.

It was when I found myself in the living room again, around ten forty five that evening, I found Watari sitting on the sofa, two mugs of tea a piece of cheesecake resting on the coffee table.

"Sit with me." he said, a small smile on his face.

Biting the nail of my right thumb, I dragged my feet towards him. I sat down heavily next to Watari, curling up into a small ball. I didn't have to wait long until his arm was around my shoulders.

"Do you remember, when I first brought you to the house, how I wouldn't let you out of my sight?" Watari asked me.

"Yes." I muttered, curling my toes into the soft cushions of the sofa.

"Do you know why?"

I shook my head.

At that point, my abilities were nothing like they were at this point in my life. I always thought it was because I hadn't been socialised properly, not knowing how to interact with children of any age. I thought it was because he didn't know what my reaction would be...

I never knew, for sure, what the reason was. Nor had I ever thought to ask.

"It was because I was worried about you." he whispered. "Just like you're worried about the boys."

"But why?" I murmured softly.

"Because I never knew the extent to how you were affected by what happened. Because I never knew how you would cope. Because I never knew which path you would take, what with the start you had in life. Because, from the moment I met you, I cared about you. It was only natural for me to worry about you, L."

Watari was one of the only people I knew truly cared about me. Right from the beginning, he was the only one I believed cared. It was hard for me to start trust Roger, it was especially hard for me to trust the other adults in the house...

Watari was the one person, right from the beginning, that I knew I could trust. The one person I knew I didn't have to live in fear of.

"I think of you as my own son, that you know. I am constantly worried for you and I will always be, no matter how old you get." Watari explained. "It's the exact same with you and the boys. They've imprinted on you, in the same way you imprinted on me."

In some way, it made sense.

When I finally went into my room, for a time, I actually tried to sleep.

Not that it worked.

I hadn't expected to be able to sleep. It was rare that I could, even when not on a case. But, that night, it was even harder than usual. I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop thinking about my boys on the plane. My anxieties refused to let my mind rest.

That was how I found myself looking through pictures on my laptop.

The pictures I owned were of the boys, Watari, myself and, most recently, Light. I liked having pictures of the things that made me happy... I would look through them whenever I needed a pick me up, remembering what had happened in that specific moment. When I had a case, after the boys had come to the house, I had to look through the pictures, at least, once a day. It would make being away from the three of them a little easier to focus.

As I looked through the pictures, I came across one I hadn't seen in a while. It was a picture of the boys and me, on my eighteenth birthday. At that point, Mello was seven years old soon to be eight, Matt had turned seven that year, whilst Near had only recently turned six before that day. The picture had me sitting in Watari's office, on the sofa, with Mello clinging to my left arm, Near clinging to my right arm, and Matt standing on the sofa behind me, his arms around my neck. The four of us were just grinning...

FLASHBACK - Saturday, 31st October 2009

Every year, on my birthday, I would spend my time with Watari. All day. That hadn't changed over the years. The only difference was that the boys had joined us. Throughout the, almost, three years they had been with us, they had made a massive impact on my life...

No longer was I alone during the day. I would actually venture out of my room, if Watari wasn't around, spending time with the boys. I would even take the three of them out to the town. The only time I left the house was when I was with Watari, when I absolutely had to. My time, when not working, was spent solely on the boys. All day, every day. I never thought, in my wildest imagination, that something like this would happen.

As my birthday coincided with Halloween, the day was split between the two holidays. My birthday would be celebrated from the morning, until the children went Trick or Treating. After getting back to the house, I - and now the boys - would go to Watari's office, spending the rest of the evening there, with him. That's how it had happened for a decade.

That evening, when back at the house from the boys going Trick or Treating with the other children, the boys and I followed Watari into his office. No one blinked an eye as we split off from the group, more than used to these turn of events. It was as much part of their routine as it was ours. Walking into Watari's office, I found that not only was there a pile of presents on his desk, but there was a rather large table of food.

Every year Watari did this. Every year I expected him not to.

It was still strange trying to get used to actually celebrating my birthday.

"Don't just stand there, silly!" Matt grinned, grabbing my hand and dragging me further into the room. "Presents to open, food to eat - come on!"

Grinning slightly, I let myself be pulled towards the sofa. I was pushed down to sit on it, all three boys climbing on with me. Well, more like they climbed on me. They bundled on top of each other, all of them giggling and smiling... I always loved seeing the three of them happy. It was nice to know that they had thrived so much, since they had been brought to the house. Especially since Watari kept saying I had a sizeable part to play in the change in them.

It was nice to know that people actually needed me.

Even after the decade spent with Watari, even after the few years I had been with the boys, I couldn't really get my head around it. I just knew it made me feel good. I suppose it would make anyone feel good, to be honest. It would make them feel...well, necessary. I liked feeling something positive.

The moment I managed to sit up, I had Matt leaning against my back, his arms around my neck. I had Mello on my left, his arms wrapped around mine. I had Near on my right, copying Mello on that side. I couldn't help laughing.

That was when I saw the flash of a camera.

END OF FLASHBACK - BACK TO: July 2016

Looking at the picture on the screen, I just smiled. I missed my boys. I honestly, truly, missed my boys. They were my family. Even since the day I met them, they were all my family. Just like Watari was.

I loved that I was going to see my boys again.

I loved that I was going to be able to hug them again.

I loved that they would, finally, meet Light.

The last time I saw them, in person, was when I said goodbye to them, before I officially moved to Japan. There were tears. Too many tears for comfort. It ripped me apart to leave them behind, after being with them for so long.

I felt like I had abandoned them.

Now they were coming to Japan and there was a change they could get hurt. I was terrified. I knew it would be my fault if something happened to them. I knew I couldn't wrap them up in bubble wrap, but I wanted to keep them safe.

All I wanted was to keep them safe.

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