Authors Note: HEYO! XD Please tell me what you think; I would love to know XD

JUST SO YOU KNOW: I have taken creative liberties with middle names, so please take that into consideration. Also, I've only seen the Anime.

This is my FIRST Death Note fic, so I suppose you could say I'm new to the Fandom! Also, I live in England, I don't know Japanese, so any Japanese I use in this story I get from Google Translate XD

Please, please review XD

P.S. This is an AU - Light was never Kira, but still helped during the investigation; obviously, Light and L did not die; the Kira case took 1 year to clear up, not (about) 7; set in 2016. I apologise for OOCness, but it IS an AU ;)

Chapter 15

L

Surprisingly, Light fell asleep easily. Even I was able to nod off for a few hours; my body drained from the adrenaline. I was woken up, however, just after four in the morning by a small creak of floorboards. I was awake instantly, looking around the room as I tried not to disturb Light.

No one was there.

I heard the creak again, and, slowly, I got up out of bed. I snuck over to the door of the bedroom, feet light on the floor. As soon as I reached the door, I heard soft curses coming from the other side. It took a moment for my sleep-addled brain to wake up, but I was sighing, and my shoulders relaxing the moment it did. Opening the door as careful as I could, I peeked my head out into the hallway, coming eye to eye with Near. The boy jumped violently, hands slapping over his mouth quickly. He pressed his back against the wall opposite, eyes wide and chest heaving.

Has he been crying?

Stepping out of the room, closing the door behind me softly, I closed some of the space between the two of us. Even in the dark, my eyesight was superior to many. Spending my early years practically living in a cupboard had made sure of that. Tear tracks ran down the boy's face, eyes slightly bloodshot as he sniffled quietly. Reaching out to him, I didn't have to wait long for Near to crash into me, clinging tightly as he hid his face in my shirt. I wrapped my arms around him tightly, one around his tiny shoulders, with the other reaching to cradle his head in my hand. His slight frame shuddered as I held him, his hands fisting in the back of my shirt.

At some point, Near and I made our way into the living room, with hot chocolate in hand. We sat on the nest we had left earlier, the boy cuddling close into my side, curling into a small ball and holding his mug close to him. I gathered a thin blanket around the both of us, tucking the edges around Near the best I could, enfolding my left arm around him, my hand back in his hair.

I didn't ask him why or what. I didn't ask if he was ok. I just sat there, hugging him to me. If I had learnt anything from my boys, or even my own life, it was not to push. Pushing made things worse. For everybody involved. So, I waited. However, there was no guarantee that Near would talk to me and I wouldn't make him. Not this time, at least. If all Near wanted was to cry and be hugged, then I would do so. But the moment I believed that was doing more harm than good, I would give him no choice. I would follow my boys' lead when it came to whatever concerned them; I would let them control how much they wanted me to know. I would not, however, let them suffer in silence if there was something I could do.

Near swiped harshly at his eyes with the sleeve of his pyjama top, even as the tears continued to flow down his cheeks. Every now and then, small noises would come from the boy, little hiccups and sniffles escaping him.

All I could do was hold him close and wait.

It was a little less than an hour when Near calmed down, no longer shaking and only soft sniffles coming from him. The hot chocolate was long gone, mugs placed to the side and out of the way. Near had shifted ever so slightly, cuddling into me with his head ducked down and pressed into my chest. I stayed very much in the same place, arm around him with my hand stroking through his hair. It was something I had picked up from Watari. When I was a child, when I would curl into his side, Watari would run his hand through my hair, a comforting gesture that made me feel cared for. The first time I had copied it, I didn't notice. Not until Watari pointed it out to me, a few days after Mello had been at Wammy's. After a few moments, Near took a deep shaking breath, shoulders slumping as his hands fisted the fabric of his pyjama bottoms.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," Near whispered, voice hoarse and cracking. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," I said, softly. "You didn't wake me up."

I suppose a little lie wouldn't hurt….

Near just nodded.

"Would you like to talk about it?" I asked, carefully. "Or would you prefer not to?"

"I-I…. I don't kn-know." Near stammered, sniffling quietly. "I-I don't – I-I can't –"

Near's knuckles began to turn white, his arms tensing from the force. However, just as quickly as it had happened, Near relaxed again. He released the material he had been clutching, stretching out his fingers as wide as he could, before placing them curled over his knees.

"How do I know if I'm ready to tell?" Near sighed, voice small. "How do I know I'm prepared for what comes after it?"

I wonder….

"Honestly? I'm not sure you'll ever know, not until you start talking." I admitted, holding the boy closer to me. "I didn't know if I was ready for Light to know what happened to me. I didn't know if I was ready for what would happen after. When I opened up to Light, I was terrified. But, once I started talking, it all kept coming out and, when he didn't say anything, I thought I had made a mistake. And then he surprised me, and I knew that that had been the right time to tell him. It's different for everybody."

It wasn't helpful, not by any means. But it was the truth, and that was all I could give him. Near sighed again as he flexed his fingers. Ever so slowly, Near sat up. He refused to look at me, barely lifting his head.

"Before you decide if you want to tell me, I will tell you this," I told the boy. "You can tell me anything, absolutely anything, and I will listen. I won't judge you, I won't be angry, or however you think I'll react. I will listen, and I will support you in whatever way that may be. Alright?"

He nodded slowly, lifting his hand to twist a lock of hair around his finger. He scratched, absently, at his knee as he stared at nothing. I wondered if, maybe, Near wouldn't tell me; wondered if he would ask if we could watch a movie instead and lock it all away. As soon as he looked up, however, I could see the determination in his eyes, could see the tension in his jaw as he took a deep breath.

"Matt and Mello wanted to tell you, but I-I didn't – I was scared. So, they said I could tell you when I was ready." Near admitted, looking down again as he wiggled out from my arms and turned to face me. " And I thought, when we got here, I would be able to tell you, but that just made it harder."

Tears began rolling down Near's cheeks again, hands rubbing furiously at his eyes, a frustrated whine crackling out from his throat. I wanted to hug him to me again, to take the pain and fear from him. He wasn't even thirteen, though he was close, and he felt more pain than some knew in their lifetime. But I couldn't. I had to let him say and do what he needed. I had to let him do it himself.

So, I sat there.

And I listened.

"I don't know what you're going to say or do, and I…. I don't want you to hate me." Near hiccupped, still scrubbing at his eyes. "I don't want you to hate us and send us away, all because we-because we –"

Near broke down completely, again, sobbing into his hands, trying to keep quiet. Even though I wanted to let Near do this himself, I couldn't stand the thought of him believing I would do that; think about doing that!

Before I had thought about it, I had Near in my arms again, cradling the boy tightly to my chest, just as I had done many times as he grew up. Through his nightmares, through thunderstorms, through anything that had scared to upset him. I didn't care about biology; I didn't care about blood. I didn't care about age. Near was my family, my boy, just as Mello and Matt were. Through everything, however, I had never seen Near as petrified as he was at that moment. Not since Watari had first brought him to the home. I held Near as fiercely as I could, without hurting either of us, rocking gently. Near clung to me as if his life depended on it, hands fisting tightly in my shirt again, as he wailed into my collarbone.

"Please, don't get rid of us!" Near begged, voice muffled.

I could feel my own eyes prickle, my throat tightening painfully.

"I could never," I chocked. "Would never. I love you boys with everything I have; I love the three of you with my entire being. I will never hate you. I will never send you away. I will never stop loving you boys. Do you understand me? Never."

Near just held tighter, cried harder. It took everything I had not to break down myself. That was not what Near needed.

"So, please, tell me," I said, pushing Near back gently until I could take his face into my hands, brushing away the tears. "Tell me, and you'll see I will still love you boys, just the same as I do now. It's ok."

Near's hands curled around my arms, fingers digging into my skin. His face was red and blotchy, drenched from the tears flowing from his eyes.

"I–We– I can't!" Near hiccupped, shaking his head.

"Yes, you can. You can, Nathan," I told him. "I promise you; you can."

Squeezing his eyes closed as tightly as he could, trying to calm his breathing as best he could, as he continued to shake his head. His breathing was erratic, his entire body shaking. I knew, within minutes, he would be in a full-blown panic attack if I didn't do something.

"Ok, ok, how about this, how about this, look at me." I tried, waiting until the boy was looking at me, reluctantly. "I'll say it, ok? All you have to do is say yes if I'm right. Is that ok? Will that help?"

Near nodded his head, quickly, hands tightening briefly on my arms. If this were what it took for him to tell me, for him not to be so terrified of what I may say or do, then I would do it. There was no question about it; I would do it. I would do anything for Near, for my boys, for Watari, for Light. There was nothing I wouldn't do.

"Alright, we can do that." I soothed, wiping at some of the tears again. "Now, Near, are you, Mello and Matt in a relationship with each other? A relationship like mine and Light's?"

"Yes!" Near cried, eyes shutting again as he waited for the reaction he expected.

When I pulled him to my chest again, Near practically jumped in his skin before clinging to me again, relief pouring from him in sobs. I bundled him as close as I could, pressing my face into his hair as I rocked him back and forth again.

"It's ok, it's ok, sweet boy. Everything will be ok." I assured him. "Everything is ok."

When Near calmed down, whoever knows how long later, tears still streaming down his face, he shifted until he could wrap his arms around my neck, instead of them being fisted in my shirt, face buried in my shoulder. All I could do was hold him and hold him tight.

It was only a few moments after Near had shifted that I heard a slight noise. Flicking my eyes in the direction of that noise, I found Mello and Matt standing at the edge of the room, the pair of them rubbing their eyes sleepily and frowning worriedly at what they saw. Slowly, carefully, I motioned for the two boys to come over, neither of them hesitating. Near lifted his head as soon as they were standing near us. Near lifted his arms from around my neck, lifting them towards Matt and Mello when his eyes met theirs. I saw the exact moment they noticed the tears. Before I could blink, Matt and Mello had their arms around Near and each other.

They said nothing.

They asked nothing.

They knew. I could tell that they knew.

So, I wrapped my arms around the three of them, holding them like I used to.

The rest of the day went by tentatively; Light and Watari both told about the boys' relationship. Despite a bit of surprise from Light, it had been taken well. Not that I had expected differently. During this, the boys found out that Watari and I had our suspicions, for a long time, that this would happen. The boys had been shocked before falling into annoyance at themselves for forgetting who exactly taught them all they knew, that Watari and I saw things that even they couldn't see sometimes. It did, however, make Near relax, knowing that I genuinely meant what I had told him – that I wouldn't hate them, that I wouldn't get rid of them.

The following days consisted of the boys slowly showing their relationship. It was still new, from what the boys had told me, the three of them beginning it only a few months before coming to Japan. There wasn't much of a difference, in all honesty; a bit more touching, words gentler, whispers that would have one of them giggling or blushing. There was barely a change. Well, no, that wasn't entirely true. All three of them were happier, far happier than I had ever seen them before.

Of course, with this admission from them, with this development, came the setting of some rules.

For example, when it came to a sexual relationship. If they chose to pursue one, considering the legal age in Japan was thirteen, as opposed to England's sixteen, I would prefer if they would let me know they were even considering it, instead of keeping it a secret. It wasn't a requirement, just a suggestion so that I knew they were safe and careful. I didn't want them to feel like they had to hide anything from me. I would rather know what was going on inside my home, know they were alright, instead of them feeling the need to be secretive. And I told them as such. With much blushing and stuttering, the boys agreed, as well as making sure I knew they weren't considering anything like that until they were, at least, all sixteen.

"It's only three years." they had shrugged.

If I was honest, that was the main thing I had asked of the boys. I could hardly ask them to follow 'normal' relationship rules, ones that other teenagers followed or secretly disobeyed, because of their parents. The three of them lived together; they were always together. And, no matter what, they wouldn't dare let anyone keep them apart. Not even me, not that I would.

The boys didn't mind any questions we had. They knew that anything we asked wasn't meant with any malice; they knew we were only curious and weren't trying to attack them in any way. Light asked the most. Where Watari and I had expected the relationship, had seen it grow as the boys did, Light hadn't. So, they indulged us. The more the three opened up about themselves and not just their relationship, the more Light understood. He did, of course, ask me a few questions after we had all retired for the night.

I couldn't help but marvel at the way Light accepted their relationship, accepted them. He allowed them into his life with ease, all because they meant so much to me. It made me love him all the more.

The morning of August 24th brought with it Near's thirteenth birthday. Watari, Light and I had decorated the living room when the boys had gone off to bed the night before, putting up banners and streamers and balloons and set out the gifts we had managed to hide from him. Watari had been able to sneak in a birthday cake for the boy, concealing it from view the moment he had brought it back to the apartment.

Watari, Light and I waited in the living room, patiently, for the boys to wake up or detach themselves from each other and join us. We didn't have to wait long, however. Matt and Mello knew what was coming; of that, I was more than sure. Especially when I watched them both gently pushing Near ahead of them.

"Happy Birthday!"

The look on Near's face was a picture, one that Watari managed to capture with the camera he had in his hands. His eyes were wide, mouth open as he looked around the room, slowly. He took in everything slowly, eyes lingering on each item of decoration. The home, back in England, celebrated birthdays. Why wouldn't they? Schooling would be cancelled for the day if it wasn't a weekend or holiday of any kind. The child would get a few gifts; there would be cake large enough for everyone. Everybody would have fun. There was, however, a lacking in the area of decorations and not every child in the home were friends. They knew each other, they lived together, but they all had their own groups, which everybody would split off into after an hour or two.

This, however, was a group of people that Near was comfortable with, that Near liked, that Near loved. People that felt the same towards him as he did for them.

We watched as Near's face changed from shocked surprise to excitable child, the boy beaming and practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. Matt and Mello wrapped an arm each around him, leading him further into the room. As soon as he was a few feet away, Near wriggled out of the hold, running towards and flinging himself at me. I caught him easily, lifting him as I hugged him to me.

"Happy birthday, Near." I grinned as Near pulled his head back to look at me. "A teenager, at last."

Near giggled softly as I kissed his temple, setting him down gently. He was quick to attach himself to Watari and then Light, as soon as he was back on his feet, before finding his way back into Matt and Mello's embrace.

"I can't believe you did this for me." Near mused, frowning slightly even as he smiled. "I would have been happy with just a cake."

"We know you would have," Watari spoke, a soft smile on his face. "However, it's not every day you turn thirteen."

"And," I added. "For as long as you boys are here, we will celebrate properly. Decorations, presents, cake, the works! Even a party, if you want. Every year, no matter what. Now, who wants breakfast?"

As soon as breakfast was finished and everything washed, we moved into the living room, unleashing Near on his presents. He didn't rip the paper to shreds like Matt or Mello would; instead, he enjoyed the process and feeling of knowing people cared enough to celebrate his birth. He sat between Matt and Mello, the older boys passing him the next gift after he had opened and said his thanks for the one he had in his hands.

Roger had sent gifts from him and the others at Wammy's. The first was a robot toy, one of those Transformers, that Near didn't have in his already extensive collection. The second was a signed copy of the Les Misérables movie, which starred Hugh Jackman, among other well-known actors and actresses. The third was a gift card to a toy shop in England, one that Near could use online. Near's eyes had lit up in an instant, turning to face me with a grin.

"Yes, we can watch the movie later." I had chuckled, ruffling his white hair.

Near was almost bouncing where he sat.

Watari gifted the boy with a couple of toys and pulled strings to get a collector's item or two that had Near squeaking in excitement. He ran his fingers over the boxes, lovingly, taking in every detail of the boxed toys. Watari also bought him a few new clothes, memorabilia from different movies and shows he was a fan of, as well as a photo frame with a big 'THIRTEEN' standing out from it. Of course, that wasn't all. Watari was always one for surprises and had instructed Near to open the envelope that had come with the other presents last. Near had opened that to find a brochure to Disneyland Orlando. His head whipped around so fast; I swore I heard his neck crack.

"Watari…." Near breathed, staring at the man.

"We just need to decide when, and I will book it for us all," Watari had grinned. "I know how much you have wanted to go."

Near was off the floor in seconds, throwing himself at his elder. Watari laughed lightly as he lifted the boy into his lap, hugging him. I could hear Near's muffled thanks, clinging tightly as he repeated himself continuously. It was no secret that Near loved Disney, nor was it no big surprise to any of us. He was particularly partial to Toy Story.

"Light can come too, right?" Near asked, beaming when he finally pulled back. "Light's included in the all?"

"If he would like." Watari nodded.

Near had looked to Light, quickly. Eyes wide, hopeful and almost begging, Near stared right at Light, waiting for his answer.

"How can I say no?" Light laughed.

Near returned to his spot between Matt and Mello after a few more minutes of discussing the Disney trip.

Light had jumped headfirst into buying presents for Near, as if not doing so wasn't even an option, hadn't even crossed his mind. Light had purchased many thirteenth birthday type gifts – a cup, a bear, a key ring, a photo album. It seemed like anything he could buy with thirteen on it, he bought. There was even a couple of Transformer toys and miniature figures that looked suspiciously like the six of us.

"My Dad knows a guy." Light shrugged when questioned, his cheeks colouring slightly.

Like with Watari, Near had gotten up and, a little calmer, hugged Light and thanked him. Light was quick to accept the hug, though still startled slightly from how easily the boys gave him affection. I watched as Light held the boy tightly for a few long moments, brushing off Near's insistence that he needn't have gotten him anything.

"Yes, I did." was all Light said on the matter.

When sitting again, I looked at the last few gifts in front of Near. The ones from me.

I had bought Near a range of toys. From robots to puzzles; from board games to the big-eyed TY toys the boy had taken a liking to. I may have gone a little overboard, but I couldn't help myself once I had started. By the time Near had opened them all, he and the boys were surrounded by a small sea of games and toys. I held up a hand, however, when he made a move to get up.

Ok, L. Deep breath.

"I have one last thing for you," I explained when Near frowned at me. "Technically, it's a gift for the three of you, but today seemed like a good time to give you this."

I pulled three large envelopes from behind me, passing them to Mello. When each boy had the envelope with their name on it, they ripped open the seals together. They waited for each other to pull the papers out from inside. I held my breath as I watched the boys read and absorb the words on the pages they held.

I could hear the moment the penny dropped.

The papers fell from their hands, each of them turning to look at me slowly.

I nodded at their hopeful looks, only having a split second before they had jumped on me.

"Are they really real?" Near asked, voice muffled in my chest. "Does it– Do we really?"

"Yes, they're real." I chuckled, voice cracking ever so slightly.

"We really get to stay?" Matt questioned, still in a state of disbelief. "We live here now?"

"You're really our legal guardian now?" Mello added on.

I nodded against their heads, unable to hide my grin.

"Yes," I repeated. "All we need to do is make you boys citizens, which Watari and I have already started. Welcome home, boys."

It took a short while for everybody to calm down, the boys rightfully excited and bouncing on the walls. Especially after Watari and I had explained we had already sent for their things. Light, like the boys, hadn't known about what Watari and I had planned, the young man just as surprised as them. But I could see the joy in his eyes – the joy he had for them and me.

Once everybody was calm, I kept my promise and let Near put on Les Misérables, all of us creating a nest again. Like before, Watari sat on the sofa, Light and I sat on the floor whilst the boys laid on their stomachs in front of us.

It was everything I thought I would never have.

The evening consisted of playing some of the games Near had gotten, eating food we had ordered in. The cake we had ordered, a toy shop shaped creation with the words 'Happy 13th Birthday' written on the shop sign, coming out as soon as dinner was finished. It took a lot of convincing for Near to actually cut the cake.

By the time ten o'clock came around, the boys were practically falling asleep where they sat. With Watari carrying Matt, I took Mello as Light picked up Near, the three of us easily coping with each boy's light weight, moving them to the room they shared. After finding out about their relationship, knowing even before that how they all preferred to share a bed, Watari and I had gifted them with a bed big enough for them all to fit in. They would have only pushed beds together otherwise or slept on the floor if it had come to that. Not to mention, I couldn't exactly bring myself to deny them anything. However, they hadn't actually asked for it.

After placing each boy in the usual spot, ones they had taken up since they were young, we left the boys to sleep, curled up to one another. Watari didn't hover too long, the man making his way to his quarters for the night.

Once in my room, the door shut, Light and I made quick work of our evening routines, climbing into bed with heavy bodies. I pulled Light close as we laid down, his back to my front as I wrapped my right arm around him, Light's fingers gently brushing against the thin bandage I had coiled around it. I pushed myself as close to him as I could get, pressing soft kisses to his shoulder and neck.

"Do you find it strange?" I asked eventually, whispering into the darkness. "That I am, in some ways, a Father to them now?"

"You were practically a Father to them anyway." Light snorted. "But no, I don't. I know how much you love those boys; I kind of expected this, in a way."

"You're amazing. Do you know that?"

Carefully, Light turned to face me, leaning in to kiss me as his hand reached up to cup my jaw. I didn't think I would ever get used to kissing Light, feeling him against me, in my arms. I was sure, one day, I would wake up and find this had all been a dream. I probably would have been able to convince myself of that if Light hadn't felt so real. With the moonlight shining through the curtains, I could see Light looking up at me through his lashes when he pulled back, hand still on my face.

"Can I tell you something?" he asked, voice small.

I could only nod.

"I don't know what would have happened to me if I never met you," Light admitted. "In all honesty, I don't think I would have made it to eighteen."

Light and I had been open with each other about those feelings from the beginning. One of the things that drew us together, I thought, was that we both were living with mental health issues. Light had depression and anxiety, just as I did; what he felt and how his mind worked against him causing him to harm himself, much like I had as I grew up at Wammy's. I had seen his scars and, in return, I had shown him mine. Neither of us went into specifics; we didn't have to. We knew. Even though our stories were different, though we were affected differently, we both knew.

"Well, I'm glad I showed up when I did," I told him, pulling him closer still, placing a kiss on the tip of his nose and drawing out a laugh. "I have never been as happy as I am now."

Light closed his eyes then, forcing back tears even as he smiled, pressing his forehead against mine.

"I love you." he breathed.

"And I love you," I whispered back.

Sleep came, surprisingly, easy to me that night.

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Thank you all so much XD