Chapter 3
Shalimar smiled dreamily at the hologram as it floated in the middle of the room. It was depicting the image of a handsome man's face. Almost, but not quite, a match for Richard. "The eyebrows weren't quite that heavy. And he had the sexiest dimples." She laughed when Adam rolled his eyes and adjusted the hologram accordingly.
"Better?" he asked dryly.
"Much," she told him, eyeing the display and licking her lips. She'd liked the way he'd made her stop thinking about... inconvenient thoughts.
"Alright, I'll cross reference the face and the name Richard with all the pertinent databanks to see what we can find." Adam frowned at Shalimar thoughtfully. "He really got to you, didn't he?"
"I've never felt an attraction this intense before," she told him. "The moment we saw each other it was... it was love at first sight." Or lust at first sight, but love sounded prettier. And Shalimar liked pretty things.
Or pretty people.
"Not really a thing," Adam insisted. "It's a form of limerence. Essentially a shift in brain chemistry and, in your case, accelerated and intensified by your shared mutancy."
"My brain was definitely not doing the talking on this one, Adam. My heart, maybe. But definitely not my brain." Shalimar waggled her eyebrows when he gave her an exasperated look.
"Of course it was your brain. You were in a highly charged situation," he was going into lecture mode, much to Shalimar's dismay. "The dopamine and phenylethylamine released in your brain created a euphoria while the norepinephrine triggered an adrenaline release. That in turn causes physical effects, such as flushed cheeks, heavy breathing, sweaty palms, and a sudden shift in the limbic system, reducing integration with your cortex and resulting in the bright flush of infatuation."
"How can you reduce something so wonderful down to mere science?" Shalimar grumbled. "Haven't you ever been in love?"
"Can't say I have. I've loved people, certainly. But never romantically." Adam shrugged when Shalimar gave him a startled, wide-eyed look. "It's why I've always identified as queer. Never felt romantically inclined towards anyone, ever. I used to think that romance in fiction was just a cheap, over used trope to stretch out the book's plot line because surely romance wasn't anything like that. Turned out the books were accurate and I was just weird."
"You're not weird," Shalimar protested, then paused thoughtfully. "Well, you are weird. But for so many other reasons."
Adam laughed and shook his head, smiling at her. "Thanks ever so much. At any rate, it turns out there are others like me. And there's even a word for us. I'd have like to have known about what aromanticism was when I was a teen, but... finding the term aromantic recently has been something of a relief."
Shalimar hummed softly, thoughtfully. "A little like being a New Mutant in some ways, I'll bet. Always knowing there's something different about yourself, but never knowing the words to describe it. Being afraid being different means being a freak... but none of us are freaks. Not me, the overly romantic feral, or you, the aromantic geneticist."
"I suppose it does help me to be more understanding of the difficulties and fears New Mutants face when it comes to... coming out as a mutant," Adam mused. "Though the guilt over how long I went unaware of what Eckhart was doing with Genomex, right under my nose, contributes a lot too."
Shalimar sighed quietly, though she didn't respond. Adam had to learn to forgive himself all on his own. She'd learned a while ago that nothing she said could help him in this, much as she wished she could ease the suffering he inflicted on himself.
The console beeped, telling them they already had a match on the data search. Adam went back over to the readout, Shalimar beside him to see the results as well.
"That was fast," Adam muttered, sounding concerned. "It hit on a Genomex entry. Looks like he's a research associate there."
"Richard Saunders, PhD," Shalimar read, a bit concerned herself. "Not MD? But he cited doctor-patient confidentiality." She groaned and turned away. "Just my luck he's Genomex. Ugh."
"It doesn't necessarily mean anything. Genomex's true purpose as the cover for the GSA is well hidden to those outside the upper echelons of the company," Adam reminded her. "Your guy very likely has no idea what he's really working for."
"Then I should let him know," Shalimar decided. "Jesse can turn out a Genomex id card for me, right?"
"You're going to Genomex?" Emma's voice sounded out behind Shalimar and she felt like she had led weights in her stomach all of a sudden.
Oh, no...
"Not alone, she isn't. You should go with her, Emma," Adam decided. "Dr. Saunders works at one of the satellite offices, not the main compound. No one should recognize either of you there, and if they do then you'll be able to sense the danger and get out."
"Sounds great," Emma agreed. "Who is this Dr. Saunders, though, and why are we warning him about the GSA's involvement in Genomex?"
"I'll let Shalimar tell you," Adam told her, an amused smile on his face. "I'll go talk to Jesse about those id cards." He headed out of the room, unknowingly leaving Shalimar in an awkward position.
"So, I guess you forgot to bring me along this morning," Emma observed quietly. Disappointed.
"I'm sorry." Shalimar didn't correct her. Didn't want to be caught out lying by agreeing either.
For a few quiet moments that morning, things had seemed so simple. Watching Emma's sleeping face, Shalimar had wanted... she'd wanted something complicated.
But wanting Richard was simple in truth. He was a man and Shalimar was a woman. And the relationship she could have with him might be fraught with danger because they were mutants and the GSA was persecuting them, but it wasn't...
It was what she wanted, wasn't it?
"He was at Donna's apartment," Shalimar told Emma, changing the subject. "He's a feral mutant, like me." She didn't mention the instant attraction. The giddiness she'd felt over it earlier had burnt out of her all at once and she was left with nothing but ashes it seemed. "He said he was treating her with something. We need to know what that treatment is, since it might relate to Donna's disappearance. And we also need to warn him about Genomex and give him the option of getting out before he gets caught up in their New Mutant search."
"Let's go then. Just us girls. It'll be more fun than feeling like a third wheel with Jesse and Brennan," Emma declared.
"Third wheel?" Shalimar asked, startled. Jesse was bi - he'd come out to her ages ago - but was Brennan... did he like guys too?
"They were totally making eyes at each other the whole time," Emma sighed. "If two people can be dating without admitting that's what they're doing then those two are definitely a couple in denial."
Shalimar nodded, uncertainly, thinking of their little movie night and cuddle fest. If two people could be dating and in denial...
But she and Emma weren't...
Confusion swirled through Shalimar's head and she only hoped that Emma couldn't sense it. Given the concerned look on her face, though, it seemed likely that Emma did sense Shalimar's feelings after all.
The Genomex facility Richard works at is a lot friendlier than the main facility. No central arena filled with the naked, shaved bodies of cryogenically frozen New Mutants. No Eckhart reigning over the view like some demented king overlooking his domain. But the same old crawl up Shalimar's spine that tells her if she's caught here - if she stops moving for too long - she'll be the next one to be shoved in a cryotube or chipped like an animal with a subdermal governor.
And it's worse having Emma there with her. The idea of Emma being put through the GSA's 're-education' or trapped like a sleeping beauty beneath the glass of one of those cryotubes... it makes Shalimar feel sick at the very thought.
The main floor here is divided into glass labs that reminds Shalimar of living in a fishbowl surrounded by other fishbowls. It's all sterile and impersonal and makes her wonder how anyone could work in there. Just wandering down the glass lined hallway with Emma makes Shalimar feel like everyone is staring at her.
But then she sees him. Doctor Richard Saunders... and Shalimar's attention completely zeroes in on him.
The badges Jesse whipped up get them through the door. And then Richard looks up, sees Shalimar, and lights up with a smile. "Shalimar. What are you doing here? How did you get in?"
"I've been wondering what kind of treatments a genetics researcher would be giving Donna," she replied. "Richard, this is Emma."
"Hello, Emma," Richard greeted politely, attention sliding near instantly back to Shalimar once he did. "Donna wants a normal life. I've been helping her to find it. I've... I've developed a serum to help suppress certain genetic mutations." He pulled out a small case and opened it, showing Shalimar and Emma a small collection of vials within. "The initial treatment lasts between six to eight weeks with follow up treatments every month afterwards. So long as the treatments are maintained, the serum suppresses the genes responsible for feral mutancy."
Shalimar feels herself go cold. He's talking about... about stripping out a vital part of who Donna is. Who he is and who Shalimar is...
"They're coming," Emma hissed quietly, "but not for us. I think... I think the GSA knows you're a New Mutant, Dr. Saunders."
"The what?" Richard asked in confusion, right as the far door opened.
A woman in a suit walked in smoothly. An electric hum emanating from the back of her neck. A subdermal governor.
"Excuse me, Dr. Saunders. You need to come with me. There are some... questions about misappropriation of funds and company resources."
Richard paled. Apparently his cure was being made off the books. No wonder he'd been able to get so far on it unnoticed by the GSA.
"Do you trust me?" Shalimar asked.
Richard nodded.
"Then it's time to run. Emma?"
She nodded at Shalimar then focused on the GSA agent while Shalimar shooed Richard out the door they'd come in through. While Emma might be new to fighting with her powers, she was a quick study. She hit the agent with some intense, focused emotion and then kicked her hard in the chest while the woman was distracted. When the agent went down, Emma turned and followed after Shalimar and Richard.
Two more agents tried to stop them in the glass hallway while other scientists watched in fear from the safety of their labs. But Shalimar took those two out personally, clearing the way for Richard and Emma to go on ahead of her. They burst out into the bright light of day within minutes, running for Richard's car... only for him to remember that his eyes were still on his desk in the lab.
All he'd taken with him were the vials of the cure. Even his wallet had been left behind.
"This way," Emma called, turning towards the road. Within moments she'd flagged down a car at random. "Thank you so much for stopping," she told the man driving. "My friends and I need a ride. Will you help us?"
"Of course," he said, smiling widely at Emma. It made jealousy crawl up Shalimar's spine to see Emma smile back flirtatiously. "Get in, ladies, gentleman."
Emma got in the front seat and there was no time to argue. Shalimar and Richard hopped into the back and the car peeled away from the curb.
They couldn't go directly back to the Helix yet, so they went back to Donna's apartment. Their rescue driver dropped them off and then returned to his regularly scheduled day.
"He won't remember our faces," Emma said, sounding rueful. "I hate doing that, scrambling someone's memories. Haven't needed to do that since..." she trailed off, sounding sad.
Shalimar took her hand and squeezed. "Thanks, Emma. I don't know what I'd have done without you." Then she looked over at Richard. "We should head up and out of sight."
Richard nodded and, with a single jump, he was up on the balcony. Scooping Emma up in her arms and grinning at Emma's delighted laugh, Shalimar made the jump herself. One picked lock later and the three of them were safely back inside.
"We'll have to be quiet so that eagle eared super doesn't call the cops on us again," Richard joked, settling onto Donna's couch. "Thank you, both of you, for rescuing me. I knew I'd be in trouble once they realized I was utilizing company resources for a personal project. But I thought if I could show results then it'd earn me more of a slap on the wrist than a trip to jail. Better to ask forgiveness than permission, if you will..." he trailed off, frowning at the looks on Shalimar and Emma's faces. "What? I'm missing, aren't I?"
"Genomex... it's not just a genetics research corporation," Emma told him gently. "It's a cover for something called the GSA. The Genetic Security Agency," she elaborated. "Their mission is to capture New Mutants for use as either unwilling lab rats or... forced conscription into the GSA itself. Neither path is voluntary."
Richard's face crumpled. "If I'd known..."
"Most people don't. We're part of an organization that's been fighting back against the GSA, helping New Mutants relocate outside of the GSA's influence," Shalimar told him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "That's why we've been looking for Donna. She was supposed to be going into hiding, but changed her mind. She must have thought that using your treatment would take her off the GSA's radar."
"There's no reason it shouldn't. When the serum is working, it masks all markers of the mutancy." Richard placed the small case on the coffee table. "It acts by suppressing the production of various enzymes that are responsible for our increased strength and altered instincts. Donna and I have been taking the serum for the last three weeks and there's already been a significant drop in both our levels. The genes themselves are going dormant, leading to lowered enzyme production."
"You're taking it too?" Shalimar felt appalled. It was like he was... voluntarily mutilating himself. "But... why? It was jarring at first when my abilities started presenting themselves, but once I got used to what the changes meant for me... I can't imagine not being a New Mutant."
"I'm glad you feel that way. I wish I did. But nothing about being a New Mutant has ever really felt right to me. I chose my career because I wanted to find a way to... cure myself." He looked away. "I thought Donna felt the same way, but unless the GSA got to her then she has to know that missing even one injection will set back her entire treatment."
"It's not an illness. It's a... a state of being. You don't cure someone of having red hair or blue eyes," Shalimar objected.
"But people do dye their hair or use colored contacts to change their eye color," Richard replied.
"Except no one calls those 'cures'," Emma interjected. "Science has a history of unnecessarily pathologizing parts of the human experience. Telling us we're unnatural and sick for not meeting someone else's concept of normal. I can understand how you feel. My own abilities have frightened me in the past and will probably do so again in the future. And for those who don't want the powers associated with being a New Mutant, your serum is a blessing. But your terminology is harmful and if you truly intend to help your fellow New Mutants then you should consider the words you use to describe your work very carefully."
"I'll... take that into account." Richard closed the case with an uncomfortable air.
"Excuse me," Emma said, heading towards Donna's bedroom.
"So I guess you're not interested in the serum for yourself," Richard asked Shalimar once the door shut behind Emma.
"Not really. Being a New Mutant makes me special." There was a... vibrancy that being a feral mutant brought to Shalimar's life. She couldn't imagine voluntarily giving that up.
But then Richard asked, "don't you ever get tired of feeling special? Of the way people look at us when they realize that we're different? Don't you ever... wish your life was normal?"
Shalimar's thoughts twist towards her feelings for Emma. Her... her attraction to Emma. She feels so awful, saying she supports someone else in finding pride in their identity as a gay or lesbian or bisexual or aromantic person... but then when it's her who might be feeling some kind of queer attraction...
All she wants to do is erase it from herself. To be normal. But Shalimar is a New Mutant. She's never going to be normal...
"Sometimes," she admits softly, even though it hurts so much.
When Richard leans in to kiss her, Shalimar lets him.