Authors Note: Wow getting into the longer episodes now. Harder to do but so much more interesting. Still not owning anything in bold Thomas, his friends or the sides. As always drop a review I always welcome constructive critism. That is how one improves and hones there craft.
My Negative Thinking.
Everyone watched the screen as it flickered to life.
Thomas: My name is Thomas Sanders and for my first trick, I will do my impression of a Youtube vlog intro! *inhales* Brezur zur ze. No, that's not right. Be- *intro song* zzzz Thank you. Thank you.
Everyone laughed. They loved the intros.
Thomas: What is up everybody? So, relatable moment time. If you've ever acted, or wanted to act, or watched High School Musical, You know that in order to be a part of a show you must first partake *short inhale* in the dreaded audition process. And earlier today, I subjected myself to yet another one of those horrible judge fests. I tried to play it off, I tried to pretend like it's old hat, to go up on stage announce my name, sing 16 bars and be done with it, but it can never be that easy CAN IT? In this most recent audition... uh... I don't know it was rough. *inhales* Mistakes were made. I don't even know if I want to think about it. *Thomas staring into nothingness* You know what? Yes, I do. Logic!
*from phone* "El principe es stupido."
Logan: "El principe es stupido."
"That's a little mean" Patton frowned. Anxiety snuggled his mink blanket.
Thomas: Oh, I'm sorry.
Logan: You know you should really give us fair warning before pulling us into one of these vlogs, Thomas.
Thomas: Are you learning Spanish?
Logan: Not really. I am trying to learn a particular phrase in a multitude of languages—and you know it doesn't really matter— What can I do for you, Thomas?
Thomas: Okay, so I just recently had an audition—
Logan: Oh yes, for one of those stage productions for a professional make-belief.
Thomas: Yes. And the audition is over,
Logan: It would seem so.
Thomas: I either get the part or I don't.
Logan: Yes, that's how it works, is this new information for you? or...
Everyone laughed at Logans confusion.
Thomas: I just want to know. Objectively, how did I do?
Anxiety: You screwed up.
Thomas: Ah! Anxiety!
Anxiety: Anxiety what are you doing here? Yes? This is exactly what you do every time I pop up, let's just skip that part, we get it. You don't want me here, but I'm here and this is what I do.
Thomas: Oh, I don't think that's all that you—
Anxiety: You did a bad job, Sanders!
"Whew little harsh there kiddo" Patton whispered to Anxiety. Anxiety looked down.
Thomas: Alright.
Logan: Where specifically did he do a 'bad job'?
Anxiety: Try the beginning. He choked.
Logan: Thomas. How many times do I have to tell you, chew your food!
Everyone laughed.
Thomas And Anxiety: No, that's too literal.
Anxiety: He forgot the lyrics.
Thomas: I forgot the song, Logan! I tripped right out of the gates.
Logan: Well you should watch where you're stepping.
Anxiety: *sighs*
Thomas: Just focus on the forgetting the song part.
Anxiety: Way more work than it should be.
Everyone laughed at how exhasperated onscreen Thomas and Anxiety were.
Logan: Okay, Well would it help you to know that it is not always be essential to remember one's lines?
Thomas: It isn't?
Anxiety: When is it ever okay to forget your lines?
Logan: In Christopher Nolan's 2008 film, the Dark Knight, When Michael Caine first saw Heath Ledger enter as the Joker, in all of his makeup, it startled him so much that it caused him to forget his lines, and that take was so organic that it was used in the final cut of the film.
Thomas: Yes!
Anxiety: That is an extremely specific and random fact to call upon for the sake of feeling secure.
Thomas: Whatever works!
Everyone laughed at oncscreen Thomas's exhuburance.
Anxiety: And that's a movie, Where you have the benefit of picking and choosing the best out of several takes. This is theater, where you only have one shot, and he threw it away.
"Hamilton reference really Anxiety" Joan laughed.
"I like Hamilton" Anxiety muttered still exhausted.
Thomas: Oh, you're using Lin-Manuel Miranda's words against me! Logic, say something!
Logan: I mean it was colorfully phrased, but it's not an unfair point. Why are you asking me for help? I'm not usually your source of positivity. Why not summon Roman? He's your self-confidence, your ego, and he loves the sing-y, arty, frivolous displays.
Thomas: Uh... *Thomas gesturing to nothingness*
*Awkward silence*
Thomas: Uh..
Logan: I'm confused.
Roman: I'm not camera ready!
Thomas: *sighs* Yeah, Princey was onstage with me the entire time today, and with the performance I gave, let's just say my ego is a bit... bruised.
Roman: Everything hurts!
Thomas looked alarmed. "Does that really physical affect you guys?" Thomas asked his sides.
"No, Roman is as usual being over dramatic" Logan answered.
Thomas sighed with relief.
Logan: Hmm. Okay, well how about Morality? That cardigan-clad clod is an unending source of delusional optimism.
Thomas: Hng... *Thomas pointing to nothingness again*
*Another awkward silence*
Patton: Yeah, I'm taking care of Princey here, kiddos. Alright, Roman. Soup time!
Roman: Cream of broccoli?! I told you I hate—mm, nevermind this is delicious.
Logan: Oh, that is not good. A cream-based broth will upset Princey's stomach.
"Oh, I always forget about that" Patton pouted.
"We'll help you remember" Roman reassured.
Thomas: Logic, focus!
Logic: Apologies. So, uh, they are of no help to you whatsoever.
Thomas: No! Right now, I don't feel confident or optimistic about my chances. I was hoping that you would tell me that I did good... objectively!
Logan: Yikes. Unfortunately, I cannot do that, Thomas. Perhaps this time you may have to consider that you did not do particularly well.
Anxiety: Yeah, it was a train wreck.
Logan: Time out! that seemed very emotionally charged.
Anxiety: What are you talking about? I just said what you said only more effectively.
Logan: Ah, I see the issue, Thomas.
Thomas: What is it?
Logan: I now realize there is only one persona here holding sway over your feelings. And they fall quite heavily on the negative end of the spectrum. If you allow your thinking to be influenced too much by negative emotions, Then it will lead to cognitive distortions.
Thomas: Cong-nitis dis-portion.
Logan: No, cognitive distortions.
Thomas: haagen-dazs dispersion.
Logan: Getting futher away... cognitive distortions.
Thomas: *whispers* I don't know what you're saying.
Everyone laughed at Thomas's mispronounciation of the words.
Logan: It's when you think things are different than how they actually are.
Thomas: Oh, like imaginary!
Logan: Kind of, but bad imaginary.
Thomas: Noo!
That caused everyone to chuckle.
Logan: Therefore, I must do what I can to guide you towards a more accurate outlook.
Anxiety: Of course when it comes down to it, you take Princey's side.
Logan: I'm not taking his side, did I say I was taking his side?
Thomas: No
Logan: Quite honestly, I find both you and Princey to be a little too... extra.
Thomas: Vocab word!
Logan: Yes, I've been studying.
Thomas: So proud of you.
"Looks like in that future we did go with vocab cards and that they are helpful" Logan observed.
Logan: I cannot make you feel better with positive or comforting words, But I can work to bring a clearer vision of the entire situation that this corner of the room is obscuring.
Anxiety: I would write an angsty sonnet Illustrating my contempt for you if I actually cared enough about what you were saying right now.
Everyone chuckled at Anxiety's reaction.
Thomas: Okay, well Logan, what do you propose?
Logan: Anxiety seems to be swaying you with his reasoning, So I will attempt to do the same in the only civil way I know how: A debate.
*Logan snaps his fingers*
*Screen goes black*
Thomas: Good afternoon from the Sanders mind Palace Center, I am Thomas Sanders; your supplier of semi-humorous Tumblr posts at three in the morning, And I welcome you to the first, and hopefully only 2017 Emotionally Compromised Debate between Secretary of Logical Defense, Logan, and Supreme Dark Overlord of Negative Commerce I'm afraid I'm going to need your name.
Anxiety: No.
Everyone laughed. Anxiety just chuckled due to his exhaustion.
Thomas: Ah, worth a shot. Anxiety. This debate is sponsored by the National Essential Reasoning Department or NERD—
Logan: Uh, or-or we do not have to abbreviate it—
Thomas: ... and the Public Humiliation Foundation.
Anxiety: I'm a monthly donor.
Thomas: The format has been determined by Logan—
Anxiety: Rigged!
Everyone snorted in laughter at that.
Thomas: ... For one minute segments, centering around recent personal events that trouble me greatly, please help me. *Thomas' scream of agony*
Logan: Keep calm, carry on.
Thomas: You're right I'm an adult... me me big boy— Nope.
Thomas's friends laughed and Thomas just looked really embarrassed.
Thomas: Each debater will have 30 seconds to answer their question, followed by a response from their opponent, are we clear on the rules?
Logan: Yes.
Anxiety: This is stupid.
Thomas: Let the debate begin. Anxiety, the first question goes to you.
Anxiety: Too much pressure, no!
Thomas: Yesterday, I was texting someone who I liked very much They made me feel itty-bitty butterflies in my tummy and sunshine in my heart.
*Both Logan and Anxiety groan in disgust *
This caused everyone to chuckle at the matching reactions.
Thomas: At one point in the conversation, they suddenly stopped replying to me; my question to you is, do they hate me?
Anxiety: Definitely.
"Um not necessarily" Lilly said.
Thomas: Interesting, Would you care to elaborate?
Anxiety:I mean why else would they not reply to you; people use their phones for everything these days. Do you honestly believe there's any chance that this person didn't see your text? You were probably just annoying them the whole time, and they were replying just to be nice and then that got boring.
"Wow, harsh" Talyn muttered.
Thomas: Logic, your response.
Logan: Thomas this sounds to me like a prime example of the cognitive distortion known as "jumping to conclusions", or inference observation confusion. There could be a multitude of reasons why they didn't reply. especially when you are unaware of how they were feeling, what was going on while they were texting, their battery life—
Anxiety: —How much they hate you.
Logan: I waited for my turn to speak, Please do not disrespect the sanctity of the rules that we just made up just now.
Everyone laughed.
Logan: As I was saying it is very easy for one to draw conclusions from limited data But that is a fool's errand. The information that you have is as follows: you were conversating humans typically socialize with other humans that they enjoy, and for some unknown reason the conversation abruptly ended does this individual dislike you? That's TBD.
Anxiety: "Totally Believable Dude".
Logan: "To Be Determined".
Everyone laughed at the interaction.
Thomas: Okay? Well those are very important things to consider, so thank you, Logan.
Anxiety: My argument was more convincing.
Logan: Falsehood.
Thomas: Next question we start with Logan.
Logan: I am ready.
Thomas: Last week I had planned to be super productive, get a whole bunch of tasks finally taken care of, and be ahead in life.
Logan: All thanks to my proposed efficiency plan that was voted on.
Thomas: Yes! However, certain tasks were never gotten around to, and the plan wasn't as successfully carried out as I would have hoped. Was it all a waste?
"Not really. If you got most or even some things on the list done it was still a win" Valerie smiled.
Logan: No, not necessarily.
Anxiety: That's not a straight answer.
Logan: Can I—can I finish?
Anxiety: Well are you going to answer a question honestly?
Logan: Can I finish my statement, I was making a statement if you let me finish *at same time* A: Are you going to answer honestly? Because I'm waiting for you to give an honest straight up answer—
*Thomas joined the conversation making it even more impossible to hear what they are saying*
Logan:*mumbling going on in the backround* Listen, if you can't play by the rules, we cannot do this debate—
*the mumbling finally stops*
Everyone looked amused at the argueing going on onscreen.
Anxiety: The plain answer that question, Thomas is that you did not follow through with that plan, Therefore, yes, it was a waste. See, Logan. I even used your reasoning to come to that conclusion.
Logan: Okay. That was your turn, now It's my turn. Thomas, did you complete all that you set out to do? No. But you're leaving out a lot of the things that you did get done. This act of ignoring the positives is called "mental filtering" and it is not healthy. Give yourself credit for the things that were accomplished.
"That's right" Lilly smiled.
Thomas: Thank you, Logan.
Anxiety: This is unfair. You're rooting against me, and you're the moderator.
Logan: What's the matter, Anxiety? are you worried that your silver tongue will land you in the second place?
Anxiety: *hissing noise*
Everyone looked taken aback except Anxiety who looked super embarrassed.
Logan: ... I'm sorry did he just hiss at me?
Anxiety: I do that when I start reaching my limit with stupid questions.
Everyone looke amused now.
Thomas: Bear with me, a little longer. Anxiety, this morning, I went to go get a coffee and the barista was extremely charming.
Anxiety: Ugh, charming.
Roman made some offended sounds but everyone ignored him in favour of the footage.
Thomas: Things were going really well; there was some witty banter, and then at the inevitable 'Enjoy your coffee'. I replied with 'You too'. Did I—
Anxiety: —You blew it and you're a moron.
Thomas: Yeah. That's what I thought, moving on—
Logan: —Wait, do I not get a turn?
Thomas: I don't think it's really necessary, his argument was pretty airtight.
Anxiety: Boom.
Everyone laughed.
Logan: N-No, no it wasn't. See, what you just did there, what Anxiety is having you do, is called "magnifying." Taking one or a couple minuscule possibly unfortunate moments and making them out to be bigger than they were. It sounds like the rest of the exchange went how an optimal courtship should be conducted.
Thomas: I mean, I guess.
Anxiety: He just wants us to ignore the important facts, the ones that matter.
Logan: Falsehood. That is what you are doing.
Anxiety: Oh So you admit they're important.
Everyone chuckled.
Logan: Okay? You know what?
Anxiety: What you doing?
Logan: I am writing you a prescription for a figurative chill pill.
Everyone burst into laughter.
Thomas: Oh, oooh! Okay, let's move on. Last issue, I will throw out for open discussion. I posted a video recently that did not do as well as a lot of my other videos. Is this the beginning of the end for me?
Anxiety: Well now you can't argue with numbers. It could very well be... Time to panic and/or cry.
Logan: Preposterous.
Anxiety: Your mom is preposterous.
Logan: I'm ignoring you. What you're doing there, Thomas is called overgeneralizing. You're letting one less than ideal event speak for any and all future events, and that is a pointless venture.
Anxiety: Your mom is pointless.
Thomas: Let's leave the mothers out of this, all right, especially considering the fact that neither of you have a mother.
Anxiety: If she did exist, she'd be preposterous and pointless.
Logan: *voice crack* FALSEHOOD!
Everyone burst into laughter.
"Logan would totally be a momma boy" Thomas laughed.
Logan blushed.
Logan: Excuse me. All I'm saying is that this is not the first time a video has underperformed. In the past, has any specific video's lack of popularity ever been indicative of a trend towards failure?
Thomas: I guess not.
Logan: Your life is proven to have its peaks and valleys, but those valleys always eventually lead to peaks again.
Thomas: So true.
Anxiety: You know what I've had enough of this; none of this makes any difference, you know why? Because I'm right and you're wrong, that is why.
Logan: Savage.
"Why are you complimenting him?" Talyn asked confused.
"What I was calling him an aggressive brainless savage" Logan answered them.
"Um it's a contemprary slang word used as a compliment" Terence informed Logan.
"Oh I cannot keep up with slang" Logan sighed.
"We'll get you there" Thomas said trying to cheer Logan up.
Thomas: Wait, why are you complimenting him?
Logan: I'm saying that he's acting like an aggressive brainless savage. Oh, no. Is that another contemporary slang word I have to learn?
Thomas: *whispers* It is.
Logan: Okay. I cannot keep up with these.
Everyone laughed at the practically repeated conversation.
Anxiety: Here, I'm ready to give my closing statement. This is stupid. He's stupid. I'm out.
Logan: Okay, he is throwing a tantrum. I do not engage with tantrum-throwers.
Anxiety: Scenario over.
*Anxiety snaps his fingers to end the scenario*
Logan: That was my dream space. How dare you?
"Anxiety you should know the ettiquette for dream spaces" Logan stated confused.
"Um what ettiquette?" Anxiety asked. Thomas and his friends looked interested as well.
"Wait you don't know?" Patton asked looking over at the other sides alarmed.
"Nope" Anxiety asked.
"Who was in charge of teaching Anxiety about dream space ettiquette?" Patton asked the other sides sternly.
The other sides looked at each other unsure.
"Just tell me what is this etiquette Logan was talking about" Anxiety asked Patton.
Patton sighed.
"It should have been explained to you within your first year of developing. What Logan was alluding to was that it is considered extremly rude to cancel someone elses dream space" Patton spoke informing his dark strange son of something he really should have known.
"Oh well I'm sorry Logan. I didn't know" Anxiety spoke to Logan.
"It's fine, we'll have to go over everything a side should know later when we get back though" Logan spoke.
"Ok" Anxiety murmured.
Everyone turned back to the screen.
Anxiety: Was it really getting us anywhere?
Thomas: Actually... I think maybe it did.
Anxiety: How?
Thomas: Well, when I messed up during the audition today, I thought the director immediately hated me, but that may have been me jumping to a conclusion.
Logan: Correct.
Anxiety: You forgot the song, that's the whole thing!
Thomas: True, but when I was given that second chance, I did pretty well. I may have been magnifying that one mistake to seem bigger than it was. I have to try not to mentally filter out the good parts of my audition. The parts I can look back on and feel proud of.
Logan: You learning things is the closest I will ever be to feeling love.
Everyone raised an eyebrow at that.
Anxiety: Great. So you've reasoned your way through today. Well, what's going to happen if and when you find out you are not cast in this show?
T: Well, I'll be bummed but I won't overgeneralize. One bad audition doesn't speak for everything that I have to offer. I'm capable of doing better, and I will.
Logan: Well done, Thomas! A+ for today.
Thomas: No, Well done to you, sir!
Logan: And Anxiety,
Anxiety: Save your insults I'm just going to deck out.
Logan: Actually, um, I was going to tell you that was a good debate today.
Anxiety: What...? W—what do you mean?
Everyone smiled sadly at how Anxiety had reacted to the compliment.
Logan: I mean, you did a good job.
Anxiety: How? I was barely trying. I hissed at you.
Logan: Yes, I must admit that as a fairly uncommon debate tactic. But despite you clearly not enjoying taking part, you still participated, you offered your points. And you even reasoned in your own way, and all that is commendable.
Thomas: *whispers* This is so pure.
"It is" Valerie smiled.
Anxiety: I gotta say, I—don't really know how to react to you complimenting me, kind of thought you didn't like me. Especially after last time when you called me a defeatist.
Anxiety looked confused.
"When did he call me a defeatist" he asked warily.
Thomas sighed.
"He didn't necessaarily call you a defeatistt he justt mentioned that he wasn't one." Thomas said.
"Oh why didn't you tell me" Anxiety asked unsure.
"We didn't want to hurt your feelings" Thomas answered simply.
Patton grabbed Anxiety's hand in comfort.
"Let's just continue" Anxiety muttered.
Logan: Well, you are wrong about a lot of things, but I don't necessarily mind your company, the other two can bring in a whole lot of sunshine and that can be unbearable, and I can't imagine having a debate with either one of them.
"Rude much" Roman stated pretending to be offended.
Anxiety: I guess I just kind of assumed that—
Logan: You jumped to a conclusion.
*A heartfelt moment between the two*
Thomas: *whispers* we were just talking about this, weren't we?
Anxiety: Touché. Thanks.
"Naww that was a touching moment" Lilly smiled. Everyone agreed.
Thomas: Glad to see you guys working some things out.
Anxiety: We didn't work anything out.
Logan: He's as stubborn as ever.
Everyone laughed.
Thomas: Ah, Okay, moment of reprieve over as soon as it began. But I do think that I have more of an accurate handle on the whole situation. And I hope that for any troublesome moments that occur in your lives, You are able to remember these tips so that you don't let negative thinking cloud your perception of them. Until next time, take it easy guys gals and non-binary pals. Peace out!
"End card" everyone cheered laaughing except Anxiety who had muttered it smiling.
Logan: It's interesting.
Anxiety: What?
Logan: Now that we're at a little bit of a standstill, I finally feel a sense of peace in this household.
Anxiety: I guess?
Logan: The atmosphere is calm. The air is tranquil and it finally feels like we are at a point of higher sophisticated thinking.
Princey: I'm back! Did you miss me?
Logan:Your mom misses you! I'm sorry while that was savage... it was a little extra.
Princey: What did you do to him?
Patton: Logic! now, where did you learn such childish humor? *tuts*
Ecveryone burst into laughter at the onscreen sides interaction.
"That was a good episode" Terence smiled.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" Remus screamed in boredom. Then giggled at everyones reaction.
Everyone had jumped. Anxiety startling and falling to the floor.
"Remus" cautioned Thomas shaking his head.
"Oh earlier while you were discussing dream space ettequite Patton mentioned sides developing what does that mean?" Thomas asked his sides.
"Well all sides form at different points. Techniquely we are all different ages." Logan stated factually.
"Oh so what order did youse form in." Thomas asked curious.
"I'm the eldest I was already apart of you at birth" Patton smiled.
"The me also with you at birth." Logan said.
"Me then Remus only few days apart at six months" Roman answered.
"It not me next, at age two" Deciet smirked.
"I'm literally the baby of the group. I didn't form until you were six" Anxiety muttered embarrassed.
"Wow" Thomas stated. "One more then lunch" He continued facing the screen. Anxety just sighed in exhaustion.