Chapter 7

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His evening with Ruth cut short, Andrew was lying on his bed, awaiting his parents' arrival home from their own evening out. He was still dressed in his formal wear, though the tie and collar around his neck had been loosened to give him some relief. Knowing the night wouldn't be over until this conversation had taken place, he had deliberately left the bedroom door open, anticipating – and dreading – his parents' return.

"Andrew?"

"Mother. Father," he acknowledged, sitting up from his bed.

His parents each took a step inside his room. "How was your evening?" Margaret asked genially.

Inwardly Andrew braced himself. He was about to disappoint them. He rose from the bed. "Actually, I have something to tell you," he began, but before he could continue, his father leapt to conclusions.

"Good news, I expect?"

Andrew knew exactly what news his father was expecting to hear – news which would lead to a date being set and invitations going out. Alas... "Ruth and I have agreed to discontinue our relationship."

His mother gasped. "Andrew."

"I don't understand," said Edward, equally shocked. "You and Miss Carrington appeared to be getting on. She would have made you an-"

"Excellent wife," Andrew joined in at the same time as his father, startling the elder man. "I know. I know." Andrew sighed in frustration. "But perhaps I don't want an excellent wife. Perhaps I want… perhaps I want an exceptional one. One who isn't like all the rest."

His mother sat on the bed next to him. "Andrew, dear, that's a tall order. No woman could hope to live up to that standard."

"What if one already does?"

"Andrew, what nonsense are you talking about?" Edward asked gruffly.

"Colleen Cooper." Andrew was careful to get the last name correct. All he needed now was for his parents to think they had eloped!

"That young lady who was with you at the lecture?"

"Yes."

"Not the same girl you told us about from last summer?" asked Margaret, bewildered.

"She's not a girl, Mother. I mean, of course she is, but she's a young lady now. She's had a year of college. She wants to go to medical school and become a doctor. She's… well, she's wonderful. And she's… she's what I want." He looked at his mother helplessly, knowing how much he was disappointing her – disappointing them both - by making such a statement.

"Andrew, you're just upset about ending your association with Miss Carrington. Don't make any rash decisions you'll regret," his father cautioned.

Andrew lashed out with pent up resentment. "That I'll regret, or you'll regret?"

"Andrew!" his mother scolded. "Edward, I'd like to speak with our son alone."

Fuming, Edward left his son's bedroom.

"I'm sorry, Mother," Andrew said wearily, returning to sit on the bed. "That just came out."

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to."

"I know." Andrew sighed. "Can it wait until morning?"

"I think so. It will give me time to calm him down." Sitting next to him, Margaret fussed with an imaginary piece of dust on Andrew's jacket, which Andrew knew to be his mother's way of expressing affection. She hadn't done that in ages. Of course, it was only in the last year that he had been living at home for any extended length of time, as before that he'd spent several months in Colorado Springs, and before that he'd spent six years almost exclusively in the Harvard dormitories, first as a college student and then as a medical student.

"You and Miss Carrington – you're certain it's over?"

"Yes." He paused, then elaborated, as there would be no way he'd be able to say this in front of his father. "I kissed Ruth tonight. And it was fine. But when I had my eyes closed, kissing her, all I pictured in my mind was Colleen. How she looked today… I find I can't stop thinking about her. I couldn't in good conscience do that to Ruth. Be with her while thinking of another."

"Of course, you couldn't," Margaret said gently. "You're an honorable man, Andrew. Something that your Miss Cooper will discover if she doesn't know already."

Andrew hung his head. "I made it clear to Colleen today that I didn't expect to see her again. I thought my future was with Ruth."

"Oh, dear. There's no possibility of telling her you've changed your mind?"

"I don't know. Perhaps. She had planned to stay in Boston several more weeks, but she's received word of trouble back home and might change her plans. Yet even if she remains here a short while, what about Father? He doesn't approve of woman doctors, or wives who work."

Margaret sighed and glanced at the doorway. "No, he doesn't. But you won't be living under his roof forever. It's your life, Andrew. And life is about making choices. If you feel this is the correct choice for you, what will be most satisfactory for you, then that is what matters."

He nodded. Most satisfactory. His mother hadn't said anything about doing what would bring him joy or happiness, nor did he expect her to. Feelings were rarely discussed, much less expressed, in the Cook household. But in her own way, Andrew felt his mother was talking about doing what his heart wanted, what would make him happy.

"Thank you, Mother."

"Good night, Andrew." And then she did something she hadn't done since he was a young boy – she pressed a kiss to his hair before quickly rising and leaving the room. An uncommon display of affection between mother and son that touched him all the more for being so rare.

Andrew changed out of his tuxedo and into a nightshirt, slipping under the covers, but found sleep elusive. His emotions were swirling. Hurting Ruth, disappointing his father, his mother's concern and support, and, of course, tonight's discovery that he wanted to be more than just friends with Colleen.

If he had only just admitted it to himself, how was he supposed to tell her?

He couldn't simply show up at the Quinn residence tomorrow and blurt it out. Why would she believe him after he'd made it perfectly clear he only saw her as a friend? She might even think he was playing a cruel joke, which is the last thing he wanted to do. Or, that he considered her a second, lessor choice, which would be equally as bad. Even if she did believe him, he couldn't be so selfish as to ask her to give up her life in Colorado for him. Yet the idea of waiting an entire year to see her again, when she would have another summer off, was abhorrent. Wasn't there some sort of compromise?

Andrew needed time – time to sort things out, to formulate a plan. Yet time was a luxury he might not have, if Colleen decided to go against Michaela's wishes and return home early. It was a real possibility. Colleen loved her family and would be inclined to be with them in a time of crisis. And he had certainly not given her any reason to stay in Boston.

He sat up and relit the lamp.

There would be no sleep for him tonight.

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