"Dad …? DAD …"

"What? …. Sorry Sam…?"

It looked for all the world as if Charles was looking at the dog as he squirmed madly and rolled on his back in the mud, but that he wasn't seeing him at all. He had the expression on his that he used to have so often when he was in the army and there was some problem that needed sorting, one that only he could fix but that he was utterly determined not to let anyone see just how worried he was. He had never, as far as Sam could remember, let anyone see past that expression, well, not until Molly had come into his life. But Sam was suddenly desperate trying to find something to say that would make his dad feel better.

"It'll be alright Dad … she can't have got very far can she? Not with those little legs of hers …" He tried his best to dredge up a chuckle from somewhere, one that sounded genuine and ended up sounding totally false even to his own ears "And she's not exactly brave is she our Millie? … she's always bugging me to check under her bed for monsters … she won't have gone far"

Sam's only intention had been to try and make it sound as though the situation wasn't anywhere near as bloody dreadful as he knew it was, but now couldn't help wishing that he'd kept his mouth shut. As soon as the words were out he was horribly afraid that he'd just made everything a whole lot worse. He felt impotent and hated it.

"Yup …" Charles gulped and nodded and then made an almost visible effort to pull himself together "Indeed … she … yep you're right Sam, she hates the dark … and of course she won't have gone far … it'll be fine …. Come on .. we need to crack on …."

"Is Moll okay?"

"Yup …. the police are there with her now" Charles wiped a hand over his wet hair "Well … no, not really, she …. she thinks …. she's afraid someone's taken her …"

"Oh shit …. " Sam stopped speaking for a second and raised his eyebrows before he looked over to where he could just about catch the odd glimpse of a car headlights through the rain, but the nearest road was a fair old distance from their house. It was much further surely than Millie could walk. Especially in the dark. And in pouring rain that was almost horizontal "How? I mean, who would …. there's no road near …. I mean … you don't think she could be right, do you? Molly I mean …" He swallowed "Is that what you think as well?"

"Honestly? No …" Charles gulped and shook his head, not entirely sure what he was thinking anymore. Even considering the possibility that someone had taken her was enough to make his blood run cold, but the longer Millie was missing the more the tentacles of that fear were taking root "No, no of course I don't … but we do need to crack on and look for her Sam … she has to be around here somewhere for fuck sake" He wasn't sure who he was trying to reassure as he bent down and held onto the Patches' collar while the dog twisted his head and frantically tried to lick him "Have you got anything we can use as a lead …I don't want this one to find his way home on his own … Molly will have a bloody fit …"

He looked at the dog who was obviously deeply thrilled to have found them and was still doing his best to squirm against Sam's legs, but had quickly given up trying to lick Charles' hand, he was obviously somewhat less than thrilled to have anyone holding onto his collar and was trying to jerk his head away.

"Finally …. looks like the cavalry have arrived …" Sam prodded at Charles' arm and pointed in the direction of the torches he could see shining and bobbing about in the steady rain as the police appeared to fan out and begin the search of the fields immediately behind the house "But … Dad … we've already looked there … we need to go and tell them they're wasting time … here, you hold Patches … I'll go .."

"No … let them to get on with it, Sam, it can't hurt … and it might help … we might have missed something…"

"But …" Sam saw that the shutters had come down over his father's expression and knew there was very little point in pursuing it, that once his dad had retreated behind that stern mask of his there wasn't much that could change his mind. But Charles was clutching at straws and knew it, realistically there was no way in hell that he and Sam had somehow missed her when they'd been searching the immediate vicinity of the house. But, he took a deep breath, they weren't going to find her like this either, not standing around trying to think what to use for a fucking lead for the dog, and the more Sam stamped his feet and rubbed his hands together in an obvious attempt to get his circulation going, the more Charles could feel just how bloody cold he was. He was fucking frozen, could barely feel his hands and feet, and his eyes and nose were watering from it, so it didn't bear thinking about how cold his Millie would be, especially if she was lying on the ground somewhere. If she was hurt. He swallowed the bubble of fear that was once again rising into his throat and pulled the belt out of his jeans to fasten through Patch's collar and said a silent prayer that his jeans wouldn't fall down. He was holding on by a thread to his conviction that nothing had happened to his baby, that she was just lost or hiding or was asleep somewhere or something, but he also desperately needed to know that Molly was okay. He knew that there was something wrong, that something had been troubling her recently even before all this shit with Millie, well he could hardly have missed it, and wished now that he hadn't had quite such a short fuse with her when she'd left the house to go to Weymouth. And now this. He wanted to hear her voice, would give anything to talk to her but knew she'd be desperately waiting out for him to call and tell her that he'd found Millie, that he'd got her and he hadn't. He'd got nothing to tell her and couldn't possibly tell her that Patches had appeared out of the dark and was there with them, because of what that meant. Knowing that Millie was now totally on her own somewhere out there and that they didn't know where she was would totally freak her out. As much as it was doing to him.

-OG-

"What time is it?"

"Sorry?"

"The time?" She bit back the angry retort that was on the tip of her tongue, she wanted to yell 'What you bleeding deaf or something?' but then managed to stick with "What is it?" and a nod in the direction of his wrist watch instead.

"Just after six …"

"You sure …?"

Molly pushed the half empty cup of stewed tea away to one side, she had bloody tea coming out of her ears and knew without any shadow of a doubt that if she swallowed even one more mouthful she'd puke.

"Ummm … yes ….it's five past six … why?"

"It feels like sodding midnight that's why …." She took a deep shuddering breath "It's more than two hours now innit since …. two hours with everyone looking, I mean, why the fuck haven't they found her? She's not there is she?"

It felt like forever since the search party had left the house and taken the dog with them, leaving her powerless to do anything except sit on her arse at the kitchen table and watch the time tick away while she waited for someone to tell her something. When they'd gone off to search they'd left this very young policeman with her who looked to her as if he was about eleven and whose major skill seemed to be making bloody horrible tea and rubbing his hands together while he said nothing very much. She didn't know why she was asking him to tell her things he couldn't possibly know, in fact she didn't know what she expected him to say exactly, because if one more person told her not to worry she would more than likely kill them.

At long last Livvie had given over being a bloody pain and had gone off to sleep and Chloe was curled up on the chair in the corner of the kitchen doing something on her dad's iPad, and saying nothing at all. Molly knew that if she was any kind of mum she wouldn't let her do it, because he'd go apeshit and she should try and say something to her, try and make her feel better, but couldn't think of anything except that they were bound to find Millie soon and she wasn't sure Chloe still believed that anymore than she did.

She'd spent what felt like half a fucking lifetime trying to keep from panicking and instead had been playacting being all brave and had been pretending that everything was normal and fine so that Livvie wouldn't think there was something going on. But even by her standards it had been a pretty crap act and trying to act as if all the people searching the house and their bloody dog were just that, people, and that there was nothing at all to get upset and worried about hadn't fooled anyone, least of all Livvie. She knew there was something shit going on so had grizzled and whinged almost continuously, which had earned her all these irritated looks and a load of tutting from the detective woman who obviously had no experience of babies. Either that or all the ones she'd come across had been sprinkled with angel dust. Or drugged. She seemed to think that Molly should be able to just shut her up. And Chloe being like a silent little ghost wasn't exactly helping, it all added to Molly's fear that whatsherface, the detective woman who had introduced herself, but whose name she'd almost immediately forgotten, the one she'd called Vera, would be even more convinced than she already was that she was a totally crap mum. The sort of mother whose six-year old little girl ran away from home in the dark when it was pissing down. That's if she'd stopped thinking that Molly or Charles, or probably both of them had done away with her. Molly had kept trying to tell herself that it hadn't been that long, it just felt like it and that Millie was bound to be home soon, safe and sound, it was teatime and bath time and nearly bedtime, so she was going to be getting hungry by now.

But then the woman had thankfully fucked off somewhere. She hadn't joined in the search, that much Molly did know, well she wasn't exactly dressed for it for a start not wearing those bloody stupid high heeled shoes, although why she kept thinking about her fucking shoes which didn't matter one little bit, Molly had got no idea. All she did know was that she neither knew nor cared where she'd actually gone. The young copper who'd been left behind to look after her and the kids kept smiling tentatively at her every time he caught her eye, even if the expression on his face said that he'd prefer to be just about anywhere else in the entire world. He didn't seem to know what the fuck to say. He looked like a lot of the clueless young squaddies she'd come across in the past who, when they were suddenly faced with something real, found it wasn't a bit like being on training. As far as Molly was concerned he was worse than fucking useless sitting there and would actually be far better employed out there looking for Millie, she couldn't for the life of her think why he was even still sitting there.

-OG-

Charles' first glimpse was a flash of something bright yellow over on the far side of the field, a glimpse of something on the ground under one of the trees caught his eye and seemed to stop his heart. Millie had been wearing her bright yellow wellington boots. They were a little bit on the small side for her but she loved them and wouldn't be parted from them and Molly hadn't been able to find any new ones in her size. But as he narrowed his eyes and tried to focus on what he thought he could see, he could also see that there was nothing moving at all, which told him that if it was her she was lying completely still on the cold wet ground. Something that filled him with a terrifying certainty that his worst nightmare was about to come true.

He threw the improvised dog lead at Sam and without saying a word took off across the field as fast as his legs would carry him, which wasn't anywhere near fast enough for him as he stumbled over the rough surface of the grass.

"Millie ….. oh fuck ….… Millie …..… MILLIE"

"Daddy…."

As soon as he got close enough to hear the querulous little sound he began to drown in a flood of relief that made his legs feel as though they no longer belonged to him. A relief that had an intensity he hadn't experienced since those far off days in Afghan when Molly had stopped his heart over and over again, when she'd broken the bloody rules time after time and had refused to do as she was told, but especially when she'd frightened him half to death by insisting she had to stay with a little girl wearing a suicide vest. He could still remember the flood of fear that had engulfed him on that day when she'd refused to obey his order and step away.

But his Millie was hugging her knees and sitting on the cold wet ground in a little huddled heap under a tree, and to add to his relief she began to wail loudly as he got close enough to scoop her off the ground and hug her. He was holding her tight as he pulled his phone out of the back pocket of his jeans with a hand that wasn't quite steady.

"Charlie? What? WHAT? Say something ….what's … oh fuck …."

"Hey, hey …. It's alright, it's alright …I've got her …" He gulped and tightened his hold again on the little girl who was soaked to the skin and shivering with her hair plastered against her scalp. He could feel how cold she was as she clung to him like a little monkey and as the rain mingled with her tears dripped down her face off her chin "She's here … she's with me … I've got her Moll, I've got her … she's okay … she's okay …"

"Is she 'urt …?" Molly was swallowing hard against the bile that had surged into her throat and which was making it hard for her to say anything "Where the fuck was she? And what 'bout Patches … is he there 'n all?"

"Yep …he's fine … and no, she's not hurt … at least I don't think so" He tried to move Millie away from him slightly so that he could check, could ask her if she'd hurt herself anywhere but Millie immediately clung onto him even tighter "Looks like she's in one piece, very cold and wet but … I'll explain when I get there … just tell the police they can call off the search … okay?" He was biting his lip as he put his head back and struggled not to give into the tears of sheer relief that were prickling at the top of his nose and on the backs of his eyes "We won't be long …"

"Patches ran away Daddy … and I called him and I called him to come back …. But he wouldn't … he wouldn't come back and he was lost and I looked for him but I couldn't find him anywhere …. everyone was lost … Mr Fuddley and then Patchey and then I didn't know how to get home and I was calling you … but it was dark and I was all lost and I was scared and you didn't come … I couldn't find you … and I want to see Mummy …" She burst into a fresh torrent of tears as his heart broke for her.

"I know, I know you do, Button, and Mummy wants to see you as well … and it's alright, you're alright now … everything is alright …I've got you .. you're not lost … no-one is lost ….… come on let's get you home …"

He gulped, the incredible wave of love he felt for her mixed with the huge surge of relief from the stomach-churning anxiety made him tighten his hold on her even though there was a tiny bit of him that wanted to shake her. He wanted to hug her and hold her and keep her safe and never let her out of his sight again, and at the same time he wanted to yell at her, the same way he used to want to shake and yell at her mum when he'd felt that same drenching flood of relief mixed with a surge of anger at the way she'd scared him. It was a cocktail of emotion that he'd had to work incredibly hard to suppress "We'll talk about this later … come on …. home …"

"But Daddy ..we can't, we haven't found Patches yet, he's still lost and … and he's scared in the dark … he'll be all on his own ….."

"Patches is fine, Millie, he's not lost … he's with Sammie … no-one is lost …"

-OG-

Molly managed to keep herself under control long enough to tell the eleven year old copper that he could tell his mates that Millie was okay, that her dad had got her and that there was no need for them to keep on looking. That they could bugger off back to doing whatever it was they usually did at this time on a Saturday. But he said they couldn't, that they had to see for themselves first that Millie was home and in one piece before they could shove off, that they weren't allowed to take anyone's word for it, not even her mum or her dad. That he was sure she understood that they had to see her and then do one of their fucking reports. The horrible surge of sickness that she'd been fighting the whole time began to overwhelm her and she only just made it to the cloakroom in time before it seemed as if everything she'd eaten or drunk for the past week made a return visit. The unbelievable surge of relief that she felt when she knew that Millie was okay and that Charles had got her meant she could no longer control the nausea that the extreme fear had generated, something she'd never, ever experienced before, not even in those far off days in Afghan when she'd often been scared. She'd known that other people sometimes got sick when they were really scared, but she hadn't. Not till now. But somehow this felt different. Ever since she'd first realised that Millie wasn't in the house, that she'd somehow gone missing, the feeling that she was about to puke had been plaguing her.

Eventually when there was nothing left and she was dry heaving she closed her eyes and flushed the loo, then sat down on the cold tiled floor and rested her head back against the wall. She felt empty, drained, cold and shivery as she took a deep shuddery breath and stood up to rinse her mouth out, then slowly lifted her head and looked at her reflection in the mirror over the basin. She grimaced when she saw how bloody ghastly she looked. Instead of looking full of happy relief and smiley relief that Millie was okay, she was deadly pale with eyes that were all red-rimmed and hollow looking, she looked absolutely fucking dreadful and even splashing her face repeatedly with cold water didn't do much to improve things, it did nothing to make her look any less like she was about to die of something ghastly. The way she looked somehow reflected the way she felt. She was bloody hollow inside. She took another very deep breath and made a massive effort to get her shit together. Fuck, she was supposed to be brave and this wasn't being very brave.

She heard the sudden noisy commotion that told her they were back. Patchey was yipping and she could hear Chloe making a fuss of him in the hall and could hear Sam's voice, and then lots of other voices so that she took another deep breath and checked in the mirror that her smile looked almost normal before she stood up as straight as she could and went back to the kitchen. She could hear Charles talking to the police and immediately resented that they'd started to talk to him, that no-one had thought to wait out for her. She knew she was being unreasonable and that she should just be grateful that Millie was home safe and sound and that she should go in the kitchen and put her arms round him, put her arms round both of them and be bloody normal. That she should thank the police for their help even if she didn't think they'd done very much, and she needed to thank Sam and offer to make them all hot drinks so they could thaw out and should make a fuss of the dog and generally just be the way everyone expected. She wanted to hug Millie and hold her tight, and then tell her in no uncertain terms to never, ever do anything like that ever again, and just for a moment she longed for it to be like before it had all gone so horribly wrong. She wanted to hug Charles, longed to feel how she used to about the comfort of him being there, of his physical presence, about his warmth and the touch and smell of his skin, and wanted to feel the solidity of his muscles under his shirt as he put his arms round her. She wanted to hear his voice telling her it was all going to be alright, but couldn't.

Millie was leaning against his legs. She looked totally miserable and was all bedraggled with her wet curls hanging limp round her face and her thumb jammed in her mouth while Charles had one hand resting on her shoulder and was holding onto her Princess backpack with two fingers of the other one. He was swinging it slightly backwards and forwards as he listened carefully to whatever the policeman who was even taller than him was saying with such a serious look on his face. And as Molly watched from the doorway the tall copper bent forward slightly towards Millie and waved his finger at her as he obviously did his best to emphasise whatever it was he was saying, not in a nasty way, but as if he was being firm. But it was in that instant that Molly totally forgot just how bloody angry she was with the little bugger for scaring them all shitless the way she had and instead felt this huge rush of protective love for the little so-and-so.

As soon as Millie caught sight of her in the doorway she stopped paying any attention at all to whatever Mr. Plod was saying and ran from the safety of her father's legs to Molly with her arms upstretched and a loud cry of "Mummy"

Molly swung her up off her feet and hugged her as tightly as she could, it seemed that just for once she was the 'good cop' instead of the usual bad guy.

A/N: Thank you everyone for your reviews and the lovely comments … they mean the world to me. One of the newer followers asked the other day when this story began … it was actually back in January 2015 (help!) but I have updated at intervals ever since … when it began it was a shortish story simply called Consequences - and has had the word Consequences in the title ever since.