Iris D. Peverell, I see your point! I can't confirm or deny though cause I have plans. Also thanks for the review! It meant a lot to me to get one.
To the guest who asked me about Yuuki's humanity (which, where are you in the review list? I only know about this from my email?), I can neither confirm nor deny.
To the other guest who gave me a compliment- thanks! I'm doing my best to make it good and will make more because it's fun to write!
kiki8o, I see your review (which actually appeared in the review list, woah!) and I can sort of answer you. My understanding of a "self insert" is putting oneself into a story. I see this as myself. Yes this will have the more typical self insert stuff later, yes she will remember, but I'm following canon in this instance and going with "Juri sealed off Yuuki's vampire self and memories". In canon, Yuuki retained alot of her core personality after the spell, from what I can tell, so I'm using that and other bits to my advantage. It'll all be explained in time, don't worry! I've got plans
"There are vampires. They are real, they are of our time, and they are here, close by, stalking us as we sleep."
- Nicky Raven, Dracula
It is another year before she brings up to Cross the open secret that he has painfully obviously been avoiding explaining to her. She asks whilst he is going through his paperwork, and she is working on her homework, as he is always serious when doing his paperwork. Her long hair is braided back to the small of her back in a long tail.
"Kaname-nii is a vampire," she asks, though it is closer to a statement of fact than a true inquiry.
"Yes," Cross confirms without looking up at her. "The existence of vampires has not been approved of by the government, however. So, Yuuki, you must keep it a secret," he continues, somewhat pointlessly. She is, of course, not going to tell anyone.
"Secret…" She whispers to herself, thinking back to glowing red eyes, like the embers of a fire, and a blood covered hand that should have terrified but did not. "Are vampires much stronger than humans?" She asks next. There is a silence, and at it, Yuuki looks up to meet Cross' startled, slightly speculative hazel gaze with her rust-brown one. She has maybe half a plan blooming haltingly just beneath her surface thoughts, driven partially by her fear of that unknown vampire that still haunts her nightmares sometimes, and the rest driven by Kaname.
His wariness and hesitancy, as though she could shatter at any second, or disappear whenever he turns from her for a moment. She wants that to go away, and at least half of her motivation is selfish...
She wants hugs from Kaname. Cross' hugs are fine, really, and help her desperation for tactile reassurance and care, but he never just hugs. He always swirls around, squeezing too tightly, squealing and crying, and it's disorienting. Anytime she hugs Kaname, he goes still, which would be fine if it wasn't complete stillness where he practically broadcasts hesitant hope and painful awkwardness.
Cross must see something in her eyes, because he sets everything down, prompting her to do the same, his expression completely serious. She gives him her full attention as he begins to explain to her about the levels or "classes" of vampires in as much detail as he believes relevant- which is a startling amount, for all his fawning and babying behavior, he is taking her seriously in this and she is grateful. She does her best to memorize what he is saying, or at least ingrain the gist into her head.
There is talk about Purebloods, Class A's. Aristocrats, Class B's. 'Normal' vampires, Class C's. Ex-Humans, Class D's. And then Class E's, Level End vampires. Vampires that used to be human, and went mad from bloodlust, marked for death.
"It isn't their fault they've degenerated," Cross explains with an incredibly resigned expression. "But they're always marked for death- they're too dangerous to let live, Yuuki. They're created by a Pureblood vampire turning a human into a Class D vampire, and then that turned vampire not receiving that Purebloods blood to make them into a Class C vampire. Ex-humans rarely ever become Class C vampires though, Yuuki, and that's part of why the Vampire Hunter Association exists."
"That's…" Yuuki can't really complete the thought. She closes her eyes after a moment, packing away the incomprehension and slight terror, squaring her shoulders. She then looks up to Cross' eyes, her own firm.
"Teach me to defend myself, please, Cross," she requests. Cross startles and then flails about dramatically, all of his seriousness falling away like a sheet of water.
"Call me father!"
She doesn't hesitate. "Please teach me, father."
It's an instant K.O., and he collapses backwards with a deliriously happy expression, one hand clutching at his chest.
"Of course, Yuuki-chan!" He trills. She wants to be disgusted or exasperated at his dramatic behavior, but after three years with him, all she feels is a somewhat disgruntled fondness. Her lips quirk and she turns her attention back to her homework, allowing Cross to collect himself. He's a man of his word, and will get back to her about training, even though she ruthlessly manipulated him into the agreement.
Kaname's next visit is a year and a half later, other than his birthday visit which he always makes, and it is the first visit he makes entirely unprompted. It's autumn, Yuuki is ten-soon-to-be-eleven and in the yard, practicing hand-to-hand with Cross. She is still much weaker than he, which isn't really a surprise, as she is both younger and much smaller, as well as completely human, but she has been improving rapidly.
Doesn't stop him from tossing her into piles of leaves every chance he gets as a kind of "motivation". She is certain he is doing it because he thinks she is cute when she pops out of the piles with leaves in her hair and a black look.
Cross, who she mostly only calls father when they are alone or when she wants something, says that she is strong enough to absolutely floor the average human male. Which is good and shows progress to her goal- which is to be strong enough to no longer scare or worry Kaname by existing in his vicinity, or in the vicinity of other vampires, and to be able to protect herself so she is never helpless against a vampire again. He'd said that she might be able to take down a Class D vampire with a weapon, luck and help, but an Class E would be beyond her for a few more years. There really is only so much her young human body can do against vampires or hunters. She can accept that.
"What's going on here?" Oh, there's a lot of emotions in that question. Yuuki and Cross stop sparring and turn, Yuuki's legs already tensing. She springs at him without any verbal warning once she completes her turn, but he hardly startles more than a step, and even that is more due to momentum than any true surprise.
"Ah, Kaname-nii!" She chirps, slightly giddy from the post-fight adrenaline. "I asked Cross to teach me self-defense!" This is a defense of Cross and an answer to his explanation. Cross' typical wailing and dramatics are ignored by them both.
"May I ask why?" Kaname asks, his ire visibly lessening in response, though not actually disappearing.
"I…" She hesitates, glancing aside at Cross, then pursing her lips and reaching out, grabbing his hands in her own and pulling at them. "Follow me!" She insists when he doesn't move. He allows her to pull him along, looking increasingly bemused, and Yuuki calls out behind her- "don't follow us!" and hears Cross pouting and complaining loudly in their wake.
She pulls Kaname along with her into the forest surrounding Cross' home for a few minutes before stopping. She releases him, takes a single further step ahead and then turns to face him completely, her willpower dedicated to keeping her from blushing furiously.
"You're a vampire. A pureblood vampire," she begins, immediately seeing her mistake as he visibly assumes the worst- that she's learning self defense to protect herself from him. She falls into an immediate panic.
"Yuuki, I-" She cuts him off.
"No! No, that isn't what I- let me explain!" She lurches forward and grabs his hands in her own again, staring into his closed off face intently. "No, what I mean is- you like me, right?" She asks, floundering slightly and turning red. His eyes widen and she can see his thoughts stalling through his eyes, so she continues despite his non-answer. "You like me- I don't know why. But you're a vampire- a pureblood. That means you're important, and you have enemies. But you like me, and come to visit me, and you worry about me all the time you're gone. I can tell. So, I'm getting stronger, so that you can worry less and smile more. Okay? It isn't because I want to protect myself from you, it's so I can protect myself for you. For your happiness." She flushes deep red, and releases him when his arms go limp and his hands become dead-weight in her own.
She shuffles a little in place, ducking her head, not having expected to say so much- it had just come out, and at least part of it wasn't anything that she'd actually consciously decided or known. It's a little (a lot) embarrassing that she said all of that, but that stupid balloon of emotion is swelling up in her chest again. Affection, warmth and a helpless gratefulness.
"I-" Kaname is apparently at a loss for words, and Yuuki glances up at him through her bangs, which had shifted to fall over her eyes. Unknown to her, her face is still flushed red and her face has twisted into a moue of embarrassed hesitance, and Kaname freezes in place before reaching out and grabbing ahold of her, tugging her into a hug, wrapping close around her.
She takes a moment to enjoy the warmth of the hug, lifting her hands up to clench them into the back of his coat, digging her face into his stomach.
"Thank you for your care, Yuuki," he says after a long pause, and she can feel the words in his body before she even hears them. "I wish you wouldn't feel like you have to do this, but…" He slowly peels her away from him, leaning down to look her in the eyes. "Don't worry about me, okay, Yuuki? I'll be okay, and I'll keep you safe."
"Kaname!" She yells suddenly, forgoing the honorifics like she had done when she was small, and capturing his attention even further. "You don't have to worry about protecting me! I'm gonna to do it myself, and I'll protect you, too!" She insists hotly, that balloon swelling and becoming hot and painful.
"Yuuki-"
"Do you think I can't?" She demands, interrupting him. Kaname's eyes widen and he seems frozen. "That I'm useless, and you have to protect me, and that I'm just... Unable to be strong?" Beyond her control, her eyes tear up, and she steps away from him. He unfreezes, reaching forward, and she sniffs, her upset expression twisting into a teary glare. "No! You don't trust me." Her voice is low and hurt, and she runs past him back towards the house.
She bypasses Cross when she exits the woods, running into the house heedless of his calls, and the closing herself into her room, feeling incredibly hurt. It is ten minutes before Cross is knocking on her door, telling her that Kaname has gone away. She doesn't respond, and her door is pushed open shortly after.
Yuuki is bundled up in her blankets, tucked up under her bed and staring at him with hurt, red eyes.
"Yuuki?" Cross asks, folding down into criss-cross-applesauce, staring at her in concern. "Yuuki, what happened?" Sniffing, she wiggles out and sits on her legs, knees together and looking miserable.
"Kaname-nii doesn't trust me. He thinks I can't protect anything," she mumbles sulkily. Cross makes a sympathetic noise and opens his arms in a 'come and get a hug' way. Usually she would not do so but her emotions are very tremulous and she is feeling incredibly dejected. So she crawls forward, taking her blanket with her, and settles into his lap. Cross tucks the blanket up close around her, pulling her close, allowing her to tuck her face into his neck.
"Kaname-kun is a complicated boy, Yuuki, and it isn't that he doesn't trust you, okay?" He says gently. "It's probably just that he feels responsible for your safety or happiness. Do you understand?" She does, but…
"Why didn't he just say so? Instead of hurting me?" She sniffles, increasingly teary-eyed despite her best attempts to prevent it. Cross doesn't say anything, only continuing to hold onto Yuuki.