"Relax," Caesar said when he saw my stricken expression. "I will not harm you. Nor will I reveal who you are."

"Why are you helping me?" I whispered.

"What, do you think the Volturi are the only ones the Romanians have wronged?" He asked with a scoff. "We seem to have similar motives, you and I. I suppose that makes us allies, however foolish you may be."

"I was left with no other options," I snapped. "Why'd you ask why I'm here, anyway? Can't you see that in my face?"

"My gift does allow that, yes. But not in the way you're thinking. I know why you're here. Not your reasoning behind it," Caesar said. "Regardless, you are lucky."

"Lucky," I repeated, tone flat.

"As if me concealing you isn't lucky enough," Caesar said brusquely. "You are lucky the Romanians agreed to allow me to sire you."

"Sire me?" I repeated.

He breathed deeply through his nose. "Yes. Sire you, change you, they are the same. You are incredibly lucky. Do you truly think that those who create newborn armies would emerge unscathed without some way to control them?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Gods, what did the Cullens and Volturi even teach you? Newborns are uncontrollable for the first year except for by their sire. Towards their sire a newborn holds unfaltering loyalty. Be thankful that it will be my venom in your veins and not theirs."

"So I'm just going to, what? Follow you unquestioningly? Be willing to die for you?" I asked.

"Lay down here," Caesar ordered, motioning to the bedframe he had lead me to. "And, to answer your questions, yes. Not that I would ever ask you to lay down your life for me. You're far too important for that."

"Oh," I said. I sat down on the bedframe, uncomfortable.

"Lay down and take off your shirt," Caesar ordered.

"I- what?" I asked. "I'm not taking off my shirt! Just bite my arm or something!"

"Things are done differently here," he said. "The sooner you do this, the sooner it's over."

I complied, reluctantly tugging off my jacket before pulling my shirt over my head. "I don't like this."

"I don't doubt it. But if you weren't prepared to face the consequences, you wouldn't have come," Caesar said. "Lay down as flat as you can. I'll be back in a moment."

"Alright," I said, the cold metal of the bedframe chilling my back and shoulders. Caesar returned, a shallow tray in hand. "What's that?"

"My venom," he said simply. He walked off towards the end of the room. "Stay put."

I didn't like how he treated me like a disobedient child, but I did as he said. I couldn't see what he was doing over the other bedframes and screaming, writhing people.

"This is going to hurt," Caesar said. For the first time, he actually sounded apologetic.

"Whoa, whoa, what is that?" I asked, scooting away from the metal rod he was holding. The end was circular and fashioned into what looked to be a crude sort of crest. It was also white hot.

"Lay down," he ordered again. "Just hold still. It will hurt more if you struggle."

He dipped the white-hot end of the metal into his venom. I was panicking.

"We all have one, even those that were turned before they arrived here," he said, pushing me down flat on the bed. I yelped. "It's barbaric. A testament of our loyalty," he sneered. "Welcome to the Romanian coven."

He pushed the brand into the skin just below my left shoulder, above my heart. For the barest second I felt nothing. And then there was the burn, and I felt a scream rip out of my throat. Caesar set the branding tool aside. I gasped, tears streaming from my eyes as the scent of burnt flesh reached my nose.

And then the true burning began.

There was nothing but pain. Pain beyond anything I had ever experienced. The time with my father had been spent in pain.

But that was nothing. I would take the punches, the kicks, even the stab a thousand times over. I was certain my skin was melting, melting right off my bones, forming a puddle below the bed. Time became meaningless. Surely I had died, and this was hell. Hell for what I had done, for killing my father and feeling happy about it…

My mind drifted. I would surrender to the flames, to the burning, let it leave behind my ravaged corpse.

"Remember why you're here." I wasn't sure if someone had spoken or if I was hallucinating.

But over the pain, I remembered. The Cullens. The kings. The guard. Disconnected, fragmented memories flashed before my eyes.

"Everything is kind of fuzzy after you turn. Like a dream you only just remember," Edward mused, tapping the pencil he was using to compose music against his mouth.

"Is it like that for everyone?" I asked.

"No, not everyone. It's a personal experience. Alice doesn't remember anything at all. Esme remembers too much. I wonder why that is. Some force of will, sheer possession of self…" he trailed off.

"When you turn, Alec will be with you," Aro said, the Cullen living room melting away. "His gift will numb the pain."

"I don't want to numb the pain," I said.

Caius' head snapped towards me. "Why not?"

I pondered this. "I don't know. But letting Alec sap it away… I don't know. It just seems wrong, somehow."

"It is your choice. But please, consider it further. You'd be putting yourself through unneeded pain. We simply want to protect you from it," Marcus said, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. Fire spread where his lips touched. Memories slipped from my mind like water.

Pain.

Remember.

So much pain.

Remember why you're here.

Painpainpain.

Remember who you are.

Painpainpainpa-

My name is Rowan Cullen.

Pain. Pain.

I will rise from fire.

Pain.

I remember who I am.

Pain.

I remember why I'm here.

Pain.

I will not forget.

Thump. Thump.

I will do whatever it takes.

Thumpthumpthump.

I will save my coven.

Thump. Thump.

I am Rowan Cullen.

Thump.

I am queen.

Everything was silent. But no, not quite. I heard screams, distant but ever present. The scuff of shoes against stone. The low murmur of voices. The soft pitter-patter of mice.

I opened my eyes.

Everything was so clear. I could see the individual grooves in the stone above me. How each shade of gray melded into another. I wasn't in the same room that Caesar had branded me in. I was still on a metal bedframe, but no shackles enclosed my wrists or ankles.

I sat up. I was wearing a simple white button-down, though I don't remember anyone ever clothing me. I unbuttoned the top few and looked at the brand. What had Caesar called it? A testament of loyalty? The Romanian crest, forever burned into my skin.

I sucked under a breath. It felt unnatural, unneeded. It stoked fire in my throat. Fire, as if the effects of the venom had converged. It was all I could think about. I needed blood. Even the thought of it made the fire worse.

I heard it, and stiffened. Tha-thump. Tha-thump. Tha-thump. The burning in my throat intensified. I was standing in an instant. Another instant I was at the door. It was thrown open by another before I could do so myself.

My gaze locked on the unconscious human that was being held by… someone. It didn't matter who. Nothing mattered anymore besides quenching the fire in my throat.

"Get back!" There was a harsh snarl. I recoiled, instinctively backing up. Caesar shook his head and tossed the unconscious human on the floor.

I pounced, sinking my teeth into the soft flesh of the human's neck. Blood flowed easily into my mouth, pushed there by the human's unsuspecting heart. The blood cooled the fire in my throat, and at the same time, wasn't anything close to enough. I didn't move until there was no blood left to drain, when I looked up to see Caesar leaning against the doorframe. His red eyes looked almost bored.

I wiped away the stray droplets of blood that trickled down my chin. My throat still burned. It was if I had never fed at all. I needed more.

"That's all you get," Caesar said, reading the predatory shift in my body language. I hissed. "That's enough of that. Stand up. Come with me. Time to learn."

"Where are we going?" I rasped, leaving the drained human on the floor. It was hard to think around the burn in my throat.

"Before you can learn anything else, you must learn control," Caesar said. His voice dropped then, well below the range of human hearing. "How much do you remember?"

"Remember? About…" I trailed.

"Everything."

My thirst was distracting. The scent of blood still lingered in the air. I did my best to ignore it. Memories from when I was human were… strange. A little fuzzy, but they were there. I remembered. The Cullens. The guard. The kings - my mates.

It was as if someone punched a hole through my heart, the pain was so acute. I doubled over.

"Easy, easy." Caesar said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and heaving me upright. "You shouldn't have come here. Everything is intensified as a newborn. Thoughts, feelings, the mate bond. Everything."

"I have to." I said, pressing my hand to my heart. I was doing this for them. I was doing this to save them. An animalistic part of me was sated. I was protecting my mates. I could stay away if it meant protecting my mates.

"I take it you remember, then?"

"Yes. Everything is a bit… fuzzy, but yes," I said, examining my pale fingers with interest. I had never been particularly tan, especially after living in overcast areas for years, but even what color I had seemed to be sapped from my skin.

"Good. Come on, then. You're nearly late as it is," Caesar said brusquely, urging me forward.

"You said control, that I would be learning control. What does that mean?" I asked.

He frowned. "You are being taught to control your thirst. Cave, lose control, you get punished. I would suggest, for your sake, that you do your best to keep a clear head. It will be difficult. But it is not impossible. Breathe as little as possible."

"What happens if I lose control?" I whispered.

Caesar clenched his jaw and looked away. "Don't lose control."

"Come now, Caesar! Pep talks won't save your little protégé." There was a cackle from down the hall, an oily voice that I knew all too well. "Don't worry, birdie, everyone loses control. After the first few times, you learn."

He wore a malicious smile that I didn't like. Caesar raised an eyebrow. "Remembering your countless punishments all too well, are we, Antonio? You shouldn't mock; your control is hardly better than a newborn's."

Antonio hissed at him. "Just because the masters favor you, Caesar, doesn't earn you any respect from me."

I growled at him, an instinctual response to the threat. He would not touch Caesar. Caesar put a restraining hand on my shoulder. "Settle down. Antonio, if you ever disrespect me again, I will not hesitate to remove your head from your body. And I can assure you: the masters will not care."

"Yes, Caesar," Antonio said mutinously, slamming his shoulder against mine as he passed.

I snarled, furious, about to lunge before Caesar grabbed me and tossed me forward. "He's not worth it. Keep moving, if you're late, they'll be more harsh."

"How much farther?" I snapped, still seething. I couldn't even put a finger on why. I was just angry.

"Not far," Caesar assured me. "Thank the gods your newborn temper will fade after a while. Keep your emotions in check, or you'll go too far and be torn apart by those bigger and more experienced than you."

"Alright," I said, my anger already gone nearly as quick as it had emerged. "Easier said than done."

"Doesn't matter. Control your temper. You piss someone off, it's either kill or be killed. I'm trying to save your life," he said.

"Just ahead," He said, pushing open a door to the right that had been muffling the sounds of many voices. "Doyle! Got a new one for you, fresh out."

"Excellent, just what I need- against the wall!" Doyle whipped around to snarl at one of the newborns that lined against the wall. Including me, there were eleven. I was the only girl. He turned back to Caesar and I. "Sorry 'bout that, C. You-" his eyes narrowed when he looked at me, "-get against the wall with the others."

I didn't wait to be told twice. There was something off-putting about him and I was happy to be as far away as possible. I stood in the farthest empty spot, shuffling a little further over when the newborn I stood next to growled at me for getting too close.

"Listen up!" Doyle barked at us, stalking towards us as Caesar left the room. "For most of you, this is nothing new. But for the new faces, here's how this works. You stay against the wall. You do not move off the wall, no matter what happens. If you do move off the wall, I can promise you will regret it. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" Everyone but me said.

Doyle's eyes zeroed in on me, furious. I refused to drop my gaze. He strode towards me. "You deaf, newbie? Or just got no respect? When I say something, I expect 'yes, sir' or 'no, sir'. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," I said, anger surging in my veins.

"Got something to say?" He asked, seeing the fury behind my eyes.

I clenched my fists. "No, sir."

"That's what I thought. Sam, Holt, get in here!" A side door, just down the wall from where I was standing, banged open. I wasn't sure which was which, but they were so strikingly different in build that they reminded me of Demetri and Felix. Each was carrying an unconscious human, and I instinctively stiffened, the smell of them raking trails of fire down my throat.

I stopped breathing.

"Against the wall!" Doyle bellowed, slamming back one of the newborns into the wall. "You think this is difficult? Find strength within yourself! You will learn control or your instincts will have you killed! You think the Volturi are going to care that you can't control yourself at the scent of humans? That just makes you easy to kill. So get against the wall. And stay against the wall."

It was silent for a while, the only sound coming from the humans. I could hear their hearts beating steadily in their chests and the regular inhale and exhale of breath. Doyle, Sam, and Holt prowled up and down the walls, growling at anyone who dared twitch.

"You," Doyle growled, stopping in front of me. I tried to keep my expression neutral. "You're doing surprisingly well for someone who just completed the turn. What a miracle." He sneered. "Or, more probably, you're not breathing. You won't learn control by holding your breath. I suggest you start breathing or I'll rip your arms off."

I was one-hundred percent certain that he was serious. My throat was already burning at the thought of inhaling. I took a shallow breath. A flip switched in my brain.

I didn't even realize I had moved until I was slammed into the wall opposite. I shot up again, growling at my attacker. It was the lean one. He crouched, hissing. "Try to fight. I dare you."

I snarled at him. The scent of blood was clouding my senses. I lunged. He had me by the throat in a blink, pinned to the floor. I surged upwards, grabbing his face and snapping his head back so forcefully that cracks appeared on his neck.

Someone else grabbed me, pulling me back despite my wild struggle.

"That's what I thought," Doyle snarled. "See how easy it is to fight back without your arms."

His words didn't register until the bulky vampire that reminded me of Felix grabbed me, forcing back both of my arms. I struggled against him, spitting with rage.

That's when I heard them. Whispering to me. Calling to me. Gathering around my fingertips. Shadows. I started laughing. I could feel them, all around the room. I would smother these vampires. I would drown them. I would destroy them. They would die in the dark like the cowards they were.

Pain ripped through my arm, the shadows dissipating as my concentration snapped. I roared in pain as the same happened to my other arm.

"See what happens when you don't get against the wall?" Doyle asked, his voice deceptively soft. He held my arms up for me to see. Pain radiated from where they had been torn off at the shoulder. "If you behave, newbie, I'll think about giving these back at the end."

He tossed my arms away, into the far corner, as the bulky vampire forced me back against the wall. Another newborn had taken advantage of the distraction, darting forward and sinking his teeth into one of the humans' arms, black eyes greedy and half-crazed with thirst. I immediately held my breath, a mixture of pain and sense enough to keep me in place.

Doyle whipped around as the scent of blood hit the air. "What are you doing? Last chance, Victor!"

Victor didn't move, too engrossed in feeding, and didn't see as Doyle approached from the back and twisted Victor's head off his body with gruesome enjoyment.

"Take care of this, Holt," Doyle said, kicking Victor's body aside. A few of the other newborns against the wall edged forward, scenting the blood, but perhaps they had faced the same painful consequences as I had, because they had enough control to not go on a frenzy.

"One hour," Doyle said to us as Holt, the lean vampire who had originally grabbed me, detached Victor's head from the human's arm. Blood pulsed from the wound, gathering in a pool on the floor. "Resist for an hour. And then… well, may the best man win. Oh, and newbie, love… don't forget to breathe."

I bared my teeth at him. I wanted nothing more to rip his head from his shoulders. He was cruel and savage and rubbed me entirely the wrong way. I breathed as shallowly as I could possibly muster, each intake of air akin to a white-hot poker being shoved down my throat. The minutes ticked by. Other than the occasional disturbance, the room was still. My arms - that is, where my arms used to be - continued to ache, but it was nothing compared to the transformation, whose pain was still fresh in my mind.

I noticed on breath 312 that the pain was becoming a little easier to bear. On breath 704 I was able to think about more than the blood that coated the floor and still oozed from the human's arm.

"Time!" Doyle bellowed on breath 910. It was like a bomb went off. The newborns that lined the wall now fought against each other for even a drop of blood from the two humans that lay immobile on the floor. Without arms, I held no chance of sinking my teeth into either of them. Wisely, I stayed against the wall.

"Newbie! What are you doing?" Doyle demanded, spotting my motionless form.

"I have no arms," I said, forcing myself to adopt the most polite tone I could muster. Once again, blood was hazing my senses. "I wouldn't stand a chance."

"Ah, those. Good luck reattaching them," Doyle said, grinning cruelly.

I spotted Caesar enter the room and eye the entire scene in distaste. I was by his side in an instant. He frowned when he saw me. "Happens to everyone," he said, almost as if he was trying to make me feel better.

"Help, please?" I asked.

"Savages," Caesar muttered as Doyle shouted at Sam and Holt, the three of them trying to gain a semblance of order over the other newborns. "You're doing quite well."

"It still hurts," I said. I had gone back to holding my breath.

"It'll only get worse," he said, reattaching one of my arms. Slowly, feeling came back to it. It tingled, like when I was still human and it fell asleep. He reattached the other arm. "You'll have control training every day."

"Every day?" I asked in disbelief.

"Every day until you prove you're in control. And that is up to Doyle to decide," Caesar said. "It will get progressively harder."

"How much harder?" I asked. He ushered me from the room.

"You will enter one day and your eyes will be black," he said simply. "But put it from your mind for now. Combat training isn't for another six hours, so in the meantime, I'm taking you to receive your assignment."

⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰

VAMPIRE ROWAN VAMPIRE ROWAN VAMPIRE ROWAN! Sorry, got a bit excited there. But at long last, you finally get to see Rowan as a vampire. Unlike Bella, she doesn't have that perfect self-control. You got a tiny glimpse of her ability in this chapter, but you won't get to see her truly harness it yet. Also, you get to see that Caesar is indeed on her side, even if he's working off his own agenda rather than for the Volturi. Caesar is a big favorite of mine, so let me know what you think of him! You'll be seeing a lot more of him in the future.

Thank you all for reviewing, I really appreciate the encouragement and I'm glad that you're enjoying the direction that Penance is going! Let me know what you think about Rowan as a vampire, and what you think is in store for her within the Romanian coven. What do you think the assignment that Caesar is talking about will be? You'll find out next chapter, but in the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts. And as always, here are replies to some of your comments:

xlDarkstarlx: Well, you got to see what happened between Rowan and Caesar. I hope you enjoyed how it played out. You'll be learning a lot more about Caesar in the future so I hope you like his character so far. Definitely not weird to want Caesar to kill one of the Romanians. I can't tell you if he does or not, of course, but I totally get why you want him to. Rowan is going to be freaking AWESOME as a vampire and, like you said, you'll get to witness her learning to use her powers. She's no Mary Sue and has a lot to learn before she's ready to face up against the Romanians and the former queens in battle.

Luceoscura: Thank you so much! I know there were some folks who weren't at all surprised that Rowan ended up in Romania. A common theory I saw was that she would be kidnapped. She went there by choice, so not quite the same, but she still ended up in Romania regardless. You will definitely get a bonus chapter (or maybe 2) about the fallout of her leaving Volterra. I would absolutely not leave you guys wondering like that and I'm dying to write it myself. Hopefully reading more about Caesar this chapter has helped answer some of your questions. Thanks for reviewing!

seventhhaven: I think everyone is hoping that! I know everyone is excited for her change, and I'm really looking forward to writing Rowan as a vampire. It's gonna be so much fuuuun. Hopefully some of your questions about Caesar were answered this chapter, though I'm sure you still have more. And as I mentioned, you'll be seeing more of how her powers have developed soon! And yes, there was - the scene you're thinking of is Tenebrous' epilogue.

I hope you all are staying safe and healthy! Make sure to leave a review letting me know what you think and I'll see you in the next update!