Trigger Warning: Attempted sexual assault
"I don't understand. Felix was part of the Volturi," Hugo said, his brow furrowed.
"Do you remember when I told you about vampire history? And I explained why Athenodora and Sulpicia had come here?" I asked him.
He nodded, scooting backwards so that he could see me properly. "You said it was because the kings found their mate. A human. The one who Felix was talking about."
"Hugo, the mate of the kings, the new queen- it's me," I said.
"Qué?" Hugo said, bewildered. "But that- I don't understand. Why are you here? Won't they kill you if they find out? I don't want you to die! Wait, is Caesar part of the Volturi, too?"
"Definitely not," Caesar said. "Rowan and I are here for different reasons, but our aims are the same. We both wish to see the downfall of the Romanian coven. They're cruel, merciless, and if they seize power it will mark the end of society, vampire and human alike, as we know it."
"Why are you telling me?" Hugo asked.
"Because you're a good kid, Hugo. You're not like them," I said. "We're not asking you to fight this war with us. We're not asking you to kill anyone. We would never ask that of you. What we are asking is if you would join us. I don't want you to die, Hugo, and it's the only way that we can keep you safe."
"I don't want to help them anymore," Hugo said, voice soft. "You won't make me fight?"
"No," Caesar said. "We'll do our best to protect you. You don't deserve anything life has thrown at you, this least of all."
"I'll help you," Hugo said, fixing his burgundy eyes on me. "If we win, could I stay with you?"
"Of course," I said, touching his cheek lightly. "Forever, if you want."
He smiled shyly. "I'd like that."
"I'm glad that has been settled. You're free to stay in here as long as you please; however I have duties to tend to. Be careful, both of you," Caesar said, parting with one last concerned glance. It was strange how, even here, I had found myself a little family.
"Can we lay here for a little while?" Hugo asked.
"Of course," I murmured, settling back onto the few pillows. He laid his head on my stomach, eyes closed, and I could almost believe him to be asleep.
"What are your mates like?" he asked.
"Well," I said thoughtfully, brushing my fingers through his hair, "they're all very different from one another. Aro is very energetic and curious. Even with his gift letting him see my thoughts he never runs out of questions for me. Caius is strategic, and a hot-head, but noble. I can't say I've met someone quite like him; he's truly the perfect storm, but not in a negative way. Marcus is kind, thoughtful. He's not one to act rashly. His presence is a very grounding one, and he was the first sent to visit my home in Forks back when I was just getting to know them. They'd like you, I think."
"They sound nice," Hugo murmured, tracing one of the many bite marks that now decorated my arms.
"They are. I miss them very much," I said, sick with longing.
"Is there anything I can do?"
I smiled at the question, filled with love for the child who was so much like me. "You being here is enough."
We didn't move until Hugo had to attend control training. Caesar returned just as Hugo was leaving, and Caesar clapped the boy fondly on the shoulder as he passed.
"We're going to do something different today," Caesar said once Hugo was gone and the door was firmly shut.
"How so?" I asked.
"I'm not going to teach you anything new today. We're just going to spar. You're going to work off steam, so that the next time you see Doyle you don't rip his head off for killing your friend," Caesar said.
I snarled just at the thought of Doyle. "Considering I don't want to blow my cover yet, that seems wise. But when the time comes… Doyle is mine."
"That's perfectly reasonable, but that won't be for quite a while yet. For now, let's get to sparring. I'll even let you attack first," he said.
"You almost always let me attack first so that you can knock me on my ass," I grumbled.
"I don't need you to attack first in order to knock you on your ass," Caesar said, amused. "If it's any comfort, it's much harder to do now than it used to be."
I rolled my eyes. "Shut up and spar with me, old man."
Even with Caesar letting me use him as a punching bag, it still took all of my restraint to keep from snapping and tearing both Doyle and Sam apart. I barely noticed the blood, but I knew my murderous expression kept Doyle from ignoring me entirely.
"Let's go to your training room, Hugo," I said later that day, after watching in concern as Hugo moped around, his usual bright countenance dimmed.
"I don't want to train," he said, staring down at his hands. "I don't like fire anymore."
"We're not going to train," I said.
He glanced at me, curiosity roused. "Not to train?"
"Do you trust me?" I asked. He nodded vigorously, and I offered him my hand. "C'mon, then. You'll see."
We made the journey to the training room in silence. I worried for Hugo; this place sapped the life from people just as surely as it stole their innocence. I wondered if Hugo was seeing the same thing that I did every time I closed my eyes: Felix's head torn from his body, the flames and the smoke that smelled too sweet to be a marker of something so tragic.
"You're going to have to keep this a secret, alright? What I'm about to show you is what Caesar calls a 'tactical advantage' and it's one we can't afford to lose," I said seriously.
"I won't say anything, promise," Hugo said.
"I didn't think you would," I said, ruffling his hair. "Don't freak out, alright?"
I let the shadows engulf me, which was especially easy in the dark room, where they had already been roving around my legs and hands as they waited for command.
Hugo gasped. "Rowan? Where'd you go?"
I touched his shoulder and let the shadows wash over him, too. "I'm right here."
"You have a gift," he said, awed, raising his hand to watch in fascination the shadows that danced around his arm, visible now that he was within them.
"Shadows. I was able to control them to an extent, even when I was human. They hid me, kept me safe from my father. Not always, but…" I trailed off, ridding my mind of sour memories that made the shadows writhe more agitatedly around me.
"What else can you do?" He asked eagerly.
I grinned and tapped his nose. "What, this isn't enough for you?"
"No, it's really neat-" he hastened, and I laughed.
"I'm kidding, Hugo. If I concentrate, I can hear conversations that are happening far away. I've never tried to do it with more than one person."
"Try, try!" Hugo said, bouncing excitedly.
"Alright," I agreed, closing my eyes. I could practically feel Hugo's anticipation as he edged forward until he was against my side, his hand closing around my wrist. I let out a slow, unnecessary breath, focusing intently on Caesar until his voice filtered through the shadows.
"When we reach the masters, you kneel and don't rise until you're told. Show respect and they'll be more likely to keep you," Caesar said.
"Whoa," Hugo whispered, his eyes round as Caesar's voice faded.
"I didn't realize we were getting any more recruits. Must be someone from the outside," I mused.
"Anything else?" Hugo asked.
"One more thing," I said, letting the shadows that surrounded the two of us to recede. "Can you light the torches? It'll make it a little easier for you to see."
"Si," Hugo said, the torches springing to life and casting the room with flickering light.
"Gracias," I said. "This one is harder to explain, so I'll just show you."
The shadows acted on my thoughts, coagulating into a solid shape, an axe, and I wrapped my fingers around the weapon before throwing it at the wall. It embedded itself there without a sound, simply sinking into the stone like it was nothing.
"Can I touch it?" Hugo asked, speeding over to examine it with great interest.
"It should be safe," I said carefully. I didn't believe my shadows would harm anyone without my willing it, but the lack of anyone to practice with meant that I wasn't entirely certain.
Hugo didn't hesitate to reach out and grab the hilt of the axe, tugging it easily from the wall. "This is so cool!"
"It is, isn't it? Dangerous, too. See what it did to the wall? I don't doubt that it would do the same to a vampire," I said, letting the axe melt away. "You understand why I have to keep a secret?"
"Si, I do. Doyle wouldn't mess with you if he knew you could do this," Hugo said. "Nobody would."
"Keeping it secret means that when the battle comes, I'll have the element of surprise, the same sort of edge the Volturi had when they used Jane and Alec during a past battle with the Romanians."
"You're really smart," Hugo said, impressed.
"Not smart enough to save Felix," I murmured, and he frowned. I opened my palm, the shadows forming a small toy that settled in my hand. I offered it to Hugo. "Don't be sad. It wasn't your fault. I'm queen. He was my responsibility."
"It wasn't your fault either," Hugo said, taking the small car from me and turning it in his fingers. "But I wish you could have stopped it."
I felt sick knowing that I could have.
"Caesar found me after I left control training today," Hugo said, running the car along the bumpy stone wall. "He wants to teach me to defend myself. Should I?"
"You should. He's not trying to teach you how to kill anyone, only how to keep yourself from being killed by anyone else," I said. "It is the hard truth of life that, however much I may try, I will not always be there to keep you safe. Caesar is a good teacher, and you should accept his offer."
"Okay," Hugo agreed, completely trusting of my judgement. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course. You don't need permission to ask me a question, Hugo," I said, taking a seat by the door and leaning against the rough wall.
"Well, it's really a question I already asked, but you didn't answer. Why did you come here? You're queen, you could have stayed behind and sent someone else," Hugo said.
"In the end, I didn't really have much of a choice," I said, recalling the final days of my human existence. "We realized- I realized- that the former queens had joined Vladimir and Stefan. They had a lot of information about the inner workings of the Volturi, the sort of information that we could never hope to have about the Romanians without someone working on the inside."
"Why didn't they send someone like Felix?" Hugo asked. He had seated himself across from me, enraptured by my tale.
"All of the upper guard were those that the queens would know and recognize, Felix included. And the upper guard would be the only ones that the kings would entrust with a mission like this one," I said. "They needed someone they could trust on the inside without question, someone who wouldn't crack under pressure or torture. But they also needed someone who the queens didn't know, and there was only one person in the entirety of the Volturi who fit that description: me."
"So they decided that you would go?"
I chuckled. "Not quite. The kings are my mates, they would never agree to put me in that sort of danger, not to mention I was still human at the time. So I used my gift, along with a little good old-fashioned trickery, and escaped Volterra with the help of my sister, Alice."
"You're so brave," Hugo whispered. "So you were changed when you got here?"
"Yes. Caesar has saved my life in more ways than one: not only did he keep my identity a secret, but he used his venom to change me instead of Vladimir or Stefan's. Since a newborn won't typically harm their sire, Caesar ensured that I could carry on my mission without being blinded by the loyalty that Vladimir and Stefan's venom would have created in me."
"That's really smart," he said.
"We just have to hope that all we have sacrificed will pay off," I said, standing and offering Hugo a hand, pulling him to his feet. "We should get back to your quarters."
"Okay," he agreed, the torchlight dying. "Thank you for showing me your gift."
"You're very welcome," I said, and we stepped back into the hallway. We were met halfway back to Hugo's quarters by Adrian.
"There you are," he said irritably, his vibrant red hair ruffled. "I've been all over the castle looking for you. Master Stefan has requested that you meet him in his office, Rowan."
"Not me?" Hugo asked, his hand tight around my arm.
"No. You're free to return to your quarters," Adrian said dismissively. "Rowan, we had best hurry. Master Stefan does not like to be kept waiting."
"Certainly. Go on, Hugo. I'll meet you back in your room later," I said. Hugo's hand only tightened and he shook his head. "It'll be okay, I promise. I'll be back soon. Go on."
I nudged him in the direction of his room, and he reluctantly released his hand from my arm, giving me one last worried look before disappearing down the hall.
"Did the master say what he wanted with me, Adrian?" I asked as I followed his lead.
"No, they hardly ever do. After so many summons by the masters or the queens, I would have assumed that you had learned this by now," Adrian said, a note of amusement in his voice.
"Seems like I must learn that truth once again," I responded, shooting him a small smile.
"Master Stefan's office," Adrian said, and we stopped outside a door that was located fairly close to the queens' quarters.
"As always, Adrian, thank you," I said, knocking lightly on the door as Adrian nodded and disappeared.
"Enter," Stefan said lazily. I opened the door, stepping inside a large office that seemed to be stuck several centuries in the past. I knelt reluctantly, my neck prickling as Stefan stared at me. "You may rise," he finally said, and I stood.
"You summoned me, Master Stefan?" I asked, hating him, but keeping my tone polite.
"Yes. Athenodora and Sulpicia inform me that you have been quite unsuccessful in your attempts to sway the Cullen coven to our side," Stefan said, eyes hard.
"They have never been ones for violence," I said, apology in my voice.
"Yes, very unfortunate," he said. "I must admit I had high hopes that your presence here would secure them as our allies. Especially the gifted members: Edward, Alice, Jasper. Jasper has substantial experience with newborns himself, and he would make quite the asset."
"I regret not being able to control their choices," I said, the words slipping out before I could stop myself.
Stefan's eyes glittered dangerously and I felt overcome with unease at the way he regarded me. "It is a shame."
"Would you like me to attempt another call?" I asked him.
"No, no. They won't join us, that much is obvious. We must work with what we have. The boy is our greatest strength, if he can be persuaded to use his gift as he should," Stefan said. He stood from his chair, running a lazy finger across the spines of some of his books as he walked towards me. "But I didn't call you here to discuss the boy. Doyle and Sam have put some sense into him, I believe. According to Caesar, they took off his head."
Roaring, white-hot anger sprang to life inside of me. "He's just a child. It was cruel."
"It is life here," Stefan said. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. Women are so soft. I've never met one with the strength to do what must be done."
Sexist bastard, I thought to myself, wondering what he would think of women after I shoved my foot up his ass.
"How is Caesar treating you?" Stefan asked, an ugly smirk on his face.
I stiffened as I remembered what he believed Caesar and I to truly be doing. "Rough."
"He is the type. So restrained most times, lots of pent up frustration," Stefan said, trailing a finger down my cheek. "He's not the only one."
I took a step back, uneasy. "What about the queen?"
"What about her?" Stefan said, sneering. "You don't think Doyle got where he did based on his personality, did you? He's delightfully brutal, that I admit, but he's never one I'd appoint myself. But Sulpicia favors him."
I grimaced. "Didn't need that mental picture."
"Nor I, and yet I walk in to see them on my bed," Stefan said flippantly. "I can't say Caesar has ever laid with either of the queens, but I doubt he'll mind sharing you once in a while."
"Don't," I said, true warning in my tone.
"Please, little Cullen, you don't have a choice," Stefan scoffed.
He grabbed me to him forcefully, stronger than I thought, one hand up my shirt before I could stop him, groping at my breasts, fingers trailing over skin that he had no right to touch.
I reacted without thinking, kneeing him in the groin and shoving him off of me so harshly that he crashed back into his ancient wooden desk. I fled, running without stopping until I reached Caesar's quarters. He had a shower, which I scrambled with until cold water rained down on me, clothes and all, as if it could wash away Stefan's hands, as if it could wash away Felix's death, as if it could wash away everything horrible that had happened to me here.
That was how Caesar found me, on the floor of his shower with my knees pulled to my chest, water still cascading down onto my motionless form.
He didn't say anything, and perhaps he didn't have to; he simply turned off the water and wrapped me in a towel, pulling me into his chest. I leaned into him and we stayed there, unspeaking, for a long time.
"Hugo's frantic," Caesar said, breaking the silence. "He said Stefan summoned you over an hour ago and that you had yet to return. I had suspected, noticed how Stefan had looked at you before. I thought as long as I held claim to you, you would be safe."
I didn't speak.
"I'm supposed to protect you," Caesar murmured, pulling the towel more snug around my shoulders despite the fact that I couldn't get cold. "I heard the shower, and I knew. How far did he go?"
I clenched my jaw, feeling phantom hands on my chest, and shoved my face further into his shoulder.
Caesar's voice was low, controlled. "How far, Rowan?"
"He caught me by surprise," I whispered, my hand fisted around Caesar's shirt like I was a child. "Put his hand up my shirt. Just my chest. Nothing more."
"It's enough," Caesar said, snarling. "I'll take care of him."
"You're going to get yourself killed," I protested. "I'm not worth it."
"You are. I should have stopped this before it started. He won't touch you again, I'll make sure of it," Caesar promised me.
I let out a hollow laugh. "How?"
"Don't worry. Just know that I will. You've suffered a lot of things here. This was never supposed to be one of them."
No, it wasn't. I wondered how much more I would suffer, how much more of myself I would have to lose before we escaped this place.
I wondered if the me that would return to Volterra would be me at all.
Deep down, I know the answer.
No.
⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰
Hello all! So here I was, prepared to move on to an important plot point that should crop up next chapter, and then the Stefan scene happened. I swear it wasn't planned, and I really hated to do it to poor Rowan, but it fits with how things will end up playing out in the future so I decided to go ahead with it. At the very least, I hope you all enjoyed that lovely dose of protective!Caesar, who I'm pretty sure I'm in love with at this point. Can I please marry my own character? Anywho, as expected, all hell broke loose in the comments after the events of last chapter. Thank you all for leaving your thoughts, I appreciate it! Unfortunately, as you can see it was Felix's death that ultimately pushed Hugo to Rowan and Caesar's side, and his death will also be a direct catalyst for a shortly incoming plot point which I'm quite looking forward to.
All that said, on to some responses to you awesome reviewers!
HannahStewart-chan: I absolutely hated having to kill Felix, I loved him. I've gotten a LOT of requests from readers to bring him back some way or another, either through some god-mode development of Rowan's powers or through another vampire with power over the dead, like you mentioned. I do really like your take on how a gift like bringing back someone who's dead would work, I think that's a great way to balance out that ability. So if I were to bring Felix back, I would probably put in some sort of restraint like what you mentioned. I love Hugo as well! I think writing a scene with him and Carmen would be so much fun, they'd definitely click right away. It would be super cute. Thank you for reviewing!
theflowercrowns: She was going to right up until Caesar pointed out that it was too dangerous, even with her gift. Interesting to think about an AU where she acts to save Felix anyway. I'm so glad you like her relationship with Hugo, I enjoy writing them together! Thank you for reviewing!
Eris Moonsong: Aww, thank you so much! I get the happy feels whenever anyone says that Tenebrous/Penance is one of their favorites :) The fact that it's war and death is unavoidable in it was another major factor in my decision to have Felix be killed. Thank you and stay safe!
I've been pretty busy these past few days, what with starting a new summer job and such, but I'm hoping to continue putting out chapters pretty regularly for you guys, especially now that it's getting closer to the final showdown. A big thanks to all who reviewed last chapter, please make sure to keep it up and let me know what you think about this one, too! Did you expect Stefan to pull a move like that? What about his mention of Doyle and Sulpicia sleeping together? Lots of interesting stuff going on there.
Anyway, thank you all for reading and reviewing, and I hope you are all staying safe and healthy! Later, alligators!