A/N: Just trusting to luck that the site is working properly in spite of their de-bugging which has a nasty habit of making things worse, oh well – thank you so much to all the people who are still following this story, it has been going (admittedly with breaks) almost since the very beginning – your reviews and comments mean the world to me and I definitely couldn't do it without you … I hope that everyone has a really lovely and virus-free Christmas even if it is not quite the same as usual … and as usual huge thanks to Flossy – she knows why.

"I'm gonna be walking funny in the morning"

Molly giggled and ran her fingers gently over the stubble on his chin as he tilted his head towards her hand and closed his eyes. She could see the dark arc of his eyelashes fanning out on his cheekbones as he sighed contentedly and then rolled onto his back, tucking her into his side with her head on his chest. Molly could feel the rough hairiness of his leg as he slid it against the silky smoothness of hers, the one thing she did know was that just for once there wasn't a stray hair left anywhere on her body. She'd stood under the shower for bloody ages making sure she got rid of every last one, although she had no clue why she was bothering, it wouldn't have made any difference if she was like Chewbacca under her clobber. No bugger was going to see her. Not even Charles, he was going to be here at home while she was out living it up in a pub in London. It was just part of getting ready. Well, that had been the plan, funny how things can change.

"Lovely … can't think of anything I'd rather do than watch you walking funny …" He mimicked the way she'd said it and then chuckled "Sorry … I'd have had a shave if I'd known you were going to come home early and seduce me" She could hear the laugh rumbling in his chest, he sounded happier than he had for months which made her grin as well as he took a very deep breath "So, are you going to tell me, then?"

"I dunno … am I? Tell you what? What do you wanna know?"

"Come on Dawsey, you know exactly what I'm talking about"

"Nah I don't … and don't call me that, it's not exactly roman'ic, is it?"

"I think it is"

"Nah you don't … still … it's better than Dawes I s'pose" Molly bit her lip and giggled "'ere … you're not waiting for me to say you're quite good at it, are you?" She lifted her head to try and look at his face "You know you might gonna 'ave a long wait"

"Who said I needed to be told? … I already know thanks … and are you complaining? Surely not"

"Big 'ead"

"Not a lot of danger of that with you around is there?" He lifted his chin and laughed "Good job I know you don't mean it …"

"Who said I don't?"

"Nope … don't think so" His face was one big smug smirk "But if you can stop thinking about sex for one whole minute, what I actually wanted to know was why you came home early … what happened Moll? I mean, tell me if I need to go and punch someone?"

"Nothing 'appened … no-one did anything … and I can do me own punching thanks" She bit her lip "Look, it's a bit 'ard to explain"

"Try"

"I wanted to come home 'n that's what I did"

"Don't …"

"Don't what?"

"Don't shut me out like that … if something happened that upset you, I want to know about it, okay?"

"Nothing was wrong and I'm not … shutting you out … not doing anything …" She turned her head and kissed his chest, there was no way she was going to launch into some 'I feel sorry for meself cos I wasn't in their gang'. He knew her well enough by now to know she'd never do that whatever the circumstances, and if he didn't it was time he did "Anyway … glad I did now"

"Ditto"

"Ditto? Is that it? Bloody ditto? I was expecting something a bit more roman'ic than that" Molly lifted her head slightly to squint up at him and giggled, it was a conversation they'd repeated so many times over the years that she couldn't begin to remember how many, and him copying the way she rolled her eyes always made her laugh.

"How about … if I said it was the perfect end to one hell of a day, would that be better?"

"Oh shit, that bad?" She raised herself up on her elbow to look at his face properly, and then had to bite her lip to stop the giggle bubbling up and escaping. It wasn't so much that she wanted him to find the kids hard going, she didn't, well, not really, but she wasn't keen on the idea that he might have found it all a bit of a doddle. That would be bloody infuriating. But as she watched, the smug smirk re-appeared on his face as he closed his eyes again, which told her that he knew exactly what was going on in her head.

"Yup … but I can't remember all the details now … I think that's mainly because you've fused my brain …"

"Oh dear … 'ave I? Didn't mean to wear you out …"

"Oh yes you did, but hopefully it's not permanent, I'm sure I'll recover if you give me a month or two"

"Idiot…" Molly couldn't stop giggling "Are we still talking 'bout your brains … poor old thing … you shouldn't make promises you might not be able to keep"

He was also laughing as he stroked her hair back and then bunched it in his hand.

"Oi … that's where I keep my brains, I thought you knew that … and I'll have you know I'm not that bloody old … but you might have to give me a few more minutes, then we'll see"

"Promises, promises …"

"Yep … and stop bloody laughing at me … seriously for a moment Moll, I just want to be sure that you're okay … no more secrets, remember?"

"Yeah, I am sure, 'n stop worrying … look … it was just not as much fun as I thought … I mean not denying it was nice to see them … but it was a bit bloody stupid of me to expect it to be like it used to, it was all a long time ago now and most of the ones I knew are long bloody gone … Brains was there and Dangles … oh and Fingers of course, same as he always was, he's still a tit" Molly decided not to share Finger's gem about Charles' lack of balls "He's got hisself engaged to some poor cow, hope she knows what she's letting herself in for, but Brains and Angie have gone to shit which is a bit sad …"

Charles made a huffing sound which he hoped sounded sympathetic, although he wasn't entirely sure he knew who the fuck Angie was.

"Apart from them three and Jacs of course, they was all so bloody young and loud … all looked about Sam's age … made me feel ancient"

Molly decided not to tell him it had dawned on her on the train coming home that she was quite possibly getting too bloody old to spend a whole afternoon drinking like a fish and then the evening topping up her blood alcohol levels. She was definitely out of practice, and counting herself bloody lucky she didn't feel more shit than she did. She was glad she'd been all grown up and passed on the Vodka, that would have been fatal, and that she'd stopped drinking when she had, because despite a slight fuzziness in her head she didn't feel anything like as sick as she probably deserved. Which was a bit of a miracle in itself.

"You? Don't be daft, you're not ancient … Christ what does that make me?"

"Nearly a pensioner? I just didn't 'ave a lot in common with any of them, not even the ones I did know … not anymore, all except things from years ago, and I'd already done me catching up with Jackie … still … glad I went even if it was pretty bloody dumb expecting everything to be the same" She shrugged remembering how much she'd hated every minute of feeling like an outsider looking in, but wasn't about to start whinging about it to Charles "And there's no need to feel bad for me … sorry … all this … none of it is making much bloody sense is it?"

"Don't be silly"

He shook his head slowly and then grazed his lips over hers in a kiss that was soft and gentle and full of affection.

"Now … just hang on here for one minute while I get shot of this thing"

Getting rid of the bloody condom was something that was almost, but not quite, at the very top of the list of things Molly hated about the poxy things. Him having to get up when they should have been lying there having a lovely cuddle definitely spoilt the mood.

But the doctor had given her this lecture about how she was recovering but that he thought a rest from the pill would be helpful, and she'd been caught on the hop, hadn't been expecting it, hadn't been ready. If she'd known she'd have been prepared on what to say, but as it was, she wasn't ready to argue the toss with him. And it was only when she got outside and realised he hadn't even said how long this rest was going on that she wished she'd told him that she hated the bloody things with a passion. That she would rather take her chances with the pill. Instead, he'd seemed in such a tearing bloody rush to get rid of her that she'd found herself in the car going home without a prescription but with the box the nurse had given her.

Charles hadn't said anything else about him doing something more permanent and she hadn't either, somehow the urgency hadn't been there to make her push him into doing something that bothered him. In her more honest moments, she'd have to admit she wasn't one thousand percent sure anymore that it was what she even wanted. She had been certain, completely, absolutely 100% bloody certain, but things change and now she couldn't get rid of the little voice in her head telling her things she didn't want to hear. Telling her it was too final.

"Hey … are you awake? Sorry, I'm just … got to go downstairs …" Molly had a nasty suspicion she might possibly have dropped off for a couple of seconds because suddenly he seemed to be back and sitting on the edge of the bed pulling on his joggers and she hadn't noticed "I forgot to lock up … for some reason I seem to have been a bit distracted" He shook his head and laughed "And l forgot all about letting the dog out for a pee, poor little bugger will be desperate by now"

"I wasn't asleep … and don't blame me, weren't me distracting you … that was you doing the distracting"

"That's not how I remember it" He turned round to smile at her, every last bit of him was urging him to just get back into bed and kiss he and prove there was nothing wrong with his recovery rate. But he needed to sort things out and the sooner that happened, the sooner he could get back to bed.

"It'd probably be an idea to pick up your stuff before the kids see it and start asking awkward questions" He sniggered "Suppose I could always tell them that you were hot" His voice was muffled as he pulled a sweater over his head.

"You getting dressed? Why? Don't tell me, you gone all shy 'ave you?"

"I've always been shy" He sniggered again "And I draw the line at walking round the house stark bollock naked when the heating's gone off …and I'll be as quick as I can so don't go anywhere, stay right where you are"

He leaned over and dropped a kiss on top of her head and breathed out in an exaggeratedly resigned sigh as he pulled the duvet up and tucked it round her shoulders "Don't get cold"

"Go on … bugger off and stop fussing"

Molly had been in a warm haze of feeling loved and of loving and of being deeply satisfied and happy and sleepy, swamped by all the feelings that she'd missed far more than she'd ever realised. When she'd got home all she'd felt was bloody exhausted, literally tired beyond belief, and that was even without the sex. If anyone had asked her at that point, she'd have said she was too bloody weary for anything except bed. And sleep. But the minute she'd seen him and touched him and he'd touched her, she'd forgotten all about being tired, and even though she might be a little bit sore, she hadn't been bullshitting about the after effects of stubble in uncomfortable places, the memory of the blinding orgasm he'd given her meant she didn't care one little bit. Nor did she care that she had a whole load of aches in muscles she'd forgotten she'd even got.

This wasn't the way the evening had been supposed to end, she should have been in Jackie's spare bed by now, probably with the world spinning round her head drinking water to try and stave off the hangover. Instead of that she'd been in the circle of his arms feeling safe after what had been a very long and unsettling day and it wasn't even bothering her that she'd sworn to herself that never again would she rely on anyone to make her feel safe. That she would look after herself.

"Charlie …"

"Yup?" He stopped with his hand on the door and turned round to look at her with an expectant expression and his eyebrows raised in a question.

"It wasn't … I wasn't bothered being on me own or anything ... I'm a big girl, can look after meself … but I missed you … I wished you were there" He smiled "And I just wanted to come 'ome"

"I know"

-OG-

"Oi … get off … get off me … what you been doing? Your 'ands are like bloody ice, get them off me"

"Warm me up then … sorry, were you asleep? Shit, I didn't mean to wake you …"

"Not much you didn't … 'n I wasn't asleep" She had been "Anyhow I'm not now, am I?"

"Sorry … Christ it's cold tonight … listen, am I missing something? I thought we were supposed to be training Patches because someone really needs to teach him he can go outside on his own even when it's dark"

"I am training him … it's just … he don't like the dark on his own"

"Don't I bloody know it … and he doesn't take a blind bit of notice of anything I say … maybe if you stopped blowing kisses at him when you're telling him off it would help … he doesn't seem to get it … fine bloody guard dog he is"

"He's not a guard dog…"

"I noticed …" Charles snorted "Come on, shift your gorgeous little arse over a bit and make room for me"

"Nah … you're cold … you think I don't know you're after the warm bit? No bloody chance …"

"Don't be cruel … come on … shift a bit …"

Charles settled her in the crook of his arm and sighed a deep sigh of relief cuddling her close and smoothing her hair away from where the strands were tangled on his pillow.

"'Oi you, get your bloody feet off me 'n all, they're freezing … what you been doing down there… hey … did you go outside with Patchey?"

"Yep"

"You didn't? … You muppet … he tries it on, you gotta tell him NO and mean it … I do love you …" She giggled "Even if you are a bleeding soft touch"

"Do you? Still love me I mean? Even after everything … ?" He took a deep breath "Or is that because you love Patches and I went out to keep him company while he had a pee?"

"Nah … well yeah, that 'n all but course I do … I know I get a bit cross sometimes but that don't mean I don't love you"

"Good … glad to hear it … listen … I was thinking earlier …"

"Were you? I wasn't …"

"Seriously Moll … before you came home and jumped me …"

"Not saying a word … you believe what you want …"

"Oh I will … now are you going to shut up and listen? I was thinking … well it occurred to me to ask you how you'd feel about making a fresh start somewhere"

"What …me? On me own?"

"NO of course not, I was wondering what you'd say if I suggested we sell this place and move somewhere else, it hasn't always been the happiest recently, has it? … Maybe a fresh start would be good".

"Move? Where? I mean what about … I dunno, everything …" Molly could hear what sounded like a rising note of panic in her voice "School and your job … 'n that? I mean you still gonna be working there aren't you? And any day now the little turd will decide he can't do without me and ring and then … do a bit of begging?"

"And you want to sit here and wait for him to do that, do you?" Charles sounded vaguely irritated "And of course I'm still going to be working there, got no choice at the moment"

"Nah … but I'm not sitting here waiting for him to ring me, neither … I was just sayin' … that's all, it's just … I hadn't thought, I mean where would we move to?" Not Bath, anywhere but Bath and his fucking mother.

"Anywhere, anywhere you like … it doesn't matter to me where we live, just as long as you and the kids are happy …"

"I dunno … you saying it'd be okay if I wanted to … maybe buy one of them stately home places in France? Like off the tele? I mean I think I'd quite like that, except they're usually falling down … the 'ouses not the people …" She giggled "Mind you I'm not sure I'd be any good at all that … and they keep talking about the spiders … you'd have to get rid of them … but think I'd quite like to give that a go …what about you?"

"Okay … well if that's what you want … but It would need to be reasonably close to an airport and there'd have to be the odd train to London but I can probably work from home most of the time"

"You wouldn't have time to work, be too busy mending roofs and toilets 'n things and …. posh boy like you … you'll have to do all the talking, I don't speak French … "

"True … there are still times when I think you barely speak English"

"Cheeky sod" Molly jabbed him under his ribs and made him shout 'ouch' "And that was a bleeding lie … you don't think that, you never did, you was just being 'orrible … " She jabbed him again for good measure.

"Oi that hurts …stop beating me up"

"'ang on a tic …" Molly ignored him as what he'd said about needing to be near an airport sank in "Why would we need to be near an airport?"

Even as the words left her mouth and hard as she'd been trying to ignore it, she knew, she'd known it was only a matter of time before it came back to bite her on her bum. Charles hesitated, he was busy kicking himself because this definitely wasn't a conversation he'd had any intention of having at this time of the night, especially not after the spectacular sex they'd just shared. It was as good a way as any he could think of to ruin everything they'd been working so hard to re-establish.

"You know it's the last bloody thing I want right now, you do know that don't you? But I'm going to have to start doing some hands on before very much longer Moll, it's part of the bloody job, a big part, and it's what they're fucking paying me for … right now I'm doing one hell of a lot of delegating and crossing my fingers that people are doing things the way I want them done … but it can't go on … and risking losing my job won't help with anything"

"Shit… has someone said something? Look, it don't matter if they 'ave or 'aven't, I know it's your job and you got no choice, I never asked you to stop going did I? That was you said it, I'll be fine" She had no idea whether she would or not, but making a bloody fuss about something he couldn't do anything about wasn't going to help, was it? And hell would bloody freeze over before she'd do a Rebecca on him. He'd told her once that apart from Sam the very best bit of his marriage to Lady Penelope had been the day of their divorce, that she'd gone bat-shit crazy every time he'd been deployed "Don't worry they won't fire you … where they gonna find someone as good as you? But it's just … if I'm gonna 'ave to shift, I think a falling down house in France is favourite"

Charles laughed "Lovely … I had thought of living at the coast or even London if that's what you wanted, and tempting as a French Chateau sounds…"

"Does it? Shit, wasn't s'posed to …"

"I see …"

"Do you? I mean, I will … think about it if it's what you want … only think, mind, not promising to do it"

Molly was laughing, in a way that sounded false even to her own ears, but every instinct she had was screaming not on your bleeding life. Especially if he was going to start fucking off all over for his job and she was left sitting at home with the kids. Again. She'd had a bit of that before, and she was still a bit angry about what had happened before. Not that he'd even think of taking some other bloody Sasha with him this time, that was certain, she was long gone, and he wasn't going to risk anything like that again. He was a lot of things but he wasn't stupid. She wasn't really hurting anymore or anything, not like she had been, but she still had to put it all behind her. She'd loved him so much, well, she still did, but she'd trusted him 100%, and then Sasha had come along and put a bloody great dent in that, and he hadn't listened when she'd told him she was worried about Sasha, had dismissed her worries as nonsense. Had found out the hard way. Now she was working hard to forget all that as well as to forgive him. She did know he hadn't actually done anything, that he'd done nothing wrong, except be a bit blinkered. Well, she had to believe it because the alternative was something she couldn't even begin to live with.

But this was her home, it was where they lived, where the kids were settled, where once he'd bought Sam the car he promised him he'd be able to come home wherever he wanted, and she didn't want to live anywhere else. And she wasn't going to. Especially if it was just that he thought moving would help her to stop feeling bored and trapped, if it was another thing like the outing with Jackie. He meant well, she didn't doubt that for a single minute, it was just a shame she couldn't see any point in it whatsoever.

"It's not about me … or what I want, Moll … I didn't want you to worry, forget I even said anything, it really is not important, it was just an idea and obviously not one of my better ones … come on, it's late and you're tired" She wasn't, the little nap she'd had when he was outside with the dog meant she was wide awake and anyway her mind was racing, she knew it was her habit to overthink stuff, but for fuck sake, she couldn't just shut her mind off. But right now, he was the one having a struggle to stop yawning "We need to get some sleep, we've got this fucking hen house to build in the morning"

"What's all this we? … I think what you meant was you got a hen house to build while I stand and watch and make 'elpful comments … tell you how wonderful and clever you are… before I tell you you're doing it all wrong"

"Lovely … you're all heart …"

"I know"

"And you know how much I adore a fucking smartarse"

"You're welcome"

-OG-

"Nope … I've already told you the choices Millie, toast or cereal … up to you Button"

Millie was standing glaring at his back view with her legs wide apart and her arms crossed over her chest, she had her hands tucked under her armpits in a perfect mirror image of the stance Charles often took. Her face was a study in stubborn determination to dig her heels in and get her own way, she was spoiling for a fight.

"Mummy would say yes, she'd let me"

"Would she?"

Charles appeared to be equally determined that he was going to stay pleasant and wasn't going to fight with her as Molly heard a loud snort of doubt and derision from Chloe. Something that earned her a scowl from Millie. It appeared that even though Chloe's ears were plugged into whatever she was listening to on her dad's iPad, she was enjoying the row that was brewing while Marcus as usual was taking no notice. His head was firmly stuck in a book that he was reading at the breakfast table, something else that was a case of when the cat's away. Molly firmly believed they should talk to one another at mealtimes, something she thought proper families did, something that her lot had never done, but often wondered why on earth she even bothered.

As she watched Charles, all the feelings she'd believed were just a memory were back in force. Even with his back turned she fancied him something rotten as he spooned Weetabix into Livvie's mouth which was open and closing like a little bird. But she was spitting it out and using her hands to smear it everywhere she could reach and hard as he pulled faces at her in a somewhat futile attempt to distract her, she just kept decorating everything, including her hair, with a liberal layer of Weetabix.

It seemed Charles hadn't said anything to them about her being back, which explained why no-one had appeared in the bedroom to badger her. By the time the two of them had settled down they'd probably only had a couple of hours sleep left before someone had to get up for the kids, and he'd done it without waking her, had left her to sleep in. And he'd tidied away all her stuff. Mr Neat Freak had even hung up her coat and tidied away her boots so there was no sign to tell the kids she was back.

"But I hate toast, Daddy … toast is poo … I'm not eating it …" There was a suspicion of a defiantly stamped foot, followed by Millie's most ingratiating gap-toothed smile, the one he found hardest to resist "I only like Pasta" She stopped, obviously wondering whether it was worth seeing if she could squeeze out a tear but then thinking it might be time to hedge her bets "And sometimes I like Fish Finger sangwiches"

"Oh dear, that is a real shame … it looks like you're going to be very hungry …"

-OG-