A/N Another little slice of life at the Barn which I hope you will enjoy, thank you so much to everyone who is still following and who took the time and trouble to review the last chapter for me, your kind comments mean the world to me. As usual huge thanks go to Flossy.

-OG-

"Thanks for that … I really appreciate it …"

Molly was rinsing crud off the four million bloody dishes that Sam had used to create his masterpiece when Charles came back from admiring chickens and put his arms round her waist from behind pulling her back against him. Even though the food Sam had cooked was a bloody sight better than anything she could have thrown together, and she knew she should be grateful and she was, it still pissed her off a bit that he always seemed to use every bloody bowl and dish and plate she owned not to mention the wooden spoons that didn't go in the dishwasher. The problem with the "cook don't wash up" rule meant her being lumbered, it was the price she paid unless Chloe was up on a charge for some crime or other. Molly had long since decided that all the "it's not fair" and the foot stamping and door slamming and sulking and all the rest of the shit had to be reserved for something worth the hassle.

"You're welcome …" She giggled and pretended to be puzzled "Thanks for what? Don't know what you're talkin' about"

"Oh yes you do, you know exactly what I'm talking about, and just how the fuck am I supposed to know the finer points of the anatomy of a flaming chicken?"

"Don't you? " She leaned back and tried to peer up into his face, batting her eyelashes in a failed attempt to look innocent "Thought you was bound to, still … bet you know more than me … posh boy like you with your posh school 'n that …. thought you knew everything … that's what you tell the kids, innit?"

"No I bloody don't … and what you mean is that I went to school, not like some people I could mention … and it's too dark out there to be inspecting chicken arses" He ran his hand over his head "They're all tucked up fast asleep so I've told her you'll show her in the morning …" Molly could hear the laugh in nis voice.

"Nah … you can … and then while you're at it…" She heard the distinct note of glee that was in her voice as she realised it was all going to work out even better than she'd thought "You can dust them with the nit stuff … might as well … I mean, seeing you're gonna be picking them up anyway" She widened her eyes and turned round to look at him in the way that she knew made it hard for him to resist "Please … go on, just for me … I mean, I really, really don't wanna pick 'em up … they give me the bloody willies"

"Do they? Funny how often that seems to happen when you don't want to do something" He shook his head, doing his best to resist her wide-eyed appeal "What happened to the girl who wasn't scared of anything … where did she go? Remember her? The one who got rid of Badrai … and scared the living shit out of me all the time, are you seriously standing there expecting me to believe that she's scared of a bloody chicken? Nope …" He shook his head "Sorry … don't buy that"

"Don't care whether you do or not … and who said I was scared? I'm not scared" She was lying, she was "I just don't wanna do it, alright? Okay? And I didn't 'ave to turn Badrai upside down and dust his bum with nit powder, did I?"

"I suppose there is that …" Charles gave up fighting a losing battle with the laugh that was bubbling up in his chest "Tell you what, how about … we do it together?"

"Okay …sounds good, we'll do that then" Molly smirked, as far as she was concerned that was a result. She had absolutely no intention whatsoever of doing it with him or without him, what she'd got was every intention of finding something urgent that just had to be done right at the exact same moment the chickens needed nit dusting.

"Tell me something Moll … do I look stupid?"

"What? Nah … why? …"

"Just wondering … okay then, do I look as if I believe you?"

"Course … okay then I dunno … oh come on … you know I'm not good at animals … we never had 'em at home 'n I just … I'm not used to 'em, am I?"

"I know … but you said the same thing when we got Patches … remember? And now look at the two of you …" Charles snorted and shook his head "And don't forget I know you inside out"

"Nah you don't … you just think you do, and Patches is different, inne? … he was a puppy … 'n him and me, well we might not gonna win Crufts, but he's all cuddly, he's different and he's not a bloody chicken like them. Can't see me cuddling them or taking one for a bleeding walk, it's not the same …"

"Oh I don't know ..."

"Ha-ha … funny … tell you what then … you can if you want, not stopping you…"

Oh fuck, it was beginning to look very much as if it wasn't going to be as easy to duck out of it as she'd thought, she was obviously going to need a fool-proof alternative plan, or at least one that was Charles-proof.

-OG-

"See … what did I tell you? I knew it, knew you could do it if you put your mind to it … well done Dawsey … brilliant as usual"

"Piss off … patronising git … and never said I couldn't, did I? … just I didn't wanna do it"

Molly was actually unbelievably proud of herself, the bloody things had come piling out of their little house making all these noises and mobbing her feet as if they were going to peck her bloody toes off. Every instinct she had was screaming at her to leg it. But she hadn't. She'd made herself stand still, had screwed her eyes tight shut and then bent down to pick one up before she could change her mind and bottle it. She'd sort of held it away from her body at arm's length. Not only did it stink to high bloody heaven but she could feel it's little heart banging away, there was no way she wanted to cuddle the bloody thing. Marcus had been dancing about hopping from one foot to the other in excitement and yelling at her that it was Marge she had hold of, although how the fuck he knew the difference between them was beyond her. They all looked exactly the same, all bald with prickly bits and red wobbly bits round their beaks but all her fears about having an attack of the willies when the alien-looking thing struggled trying to escape didn't happen. Marge just gave her this look out her beady little eyes and then settled herself down all docile and stayed like that even when Molly began patting her with loads of this manky smelling powder. How the fuck was she supposed to know what it meant to 'dust' the bloody thing? She had no idea how much she was supposed to use, but was obviously doing a bit better than Charles and couldn't help a little grin that the powder was obviously getting up his nose and making him shudder and sneeze and his eyes were watering. He was struggling to hold the bloody thing upside down so he could point out the finer details to an avid Millie and was finding it somewhat difficult because he had no more idea of which bit was which than Molly had. It was on the tip of her tongue to get her own back and tell him not to cry, and that he should just tell the truth, but old habits die very hard and Charles wasn't used to admitting he didn't know something.

-OG-

"Now listen … drive careful and take it a bit easy … you got all day so no rush is there? … 'n make sure you keep your eye on the petrol thingy … you don't wanna run out … 'n have a break … don't do it all in one go … and don't forget to text me when you get there … better still give me three pips so I know you got there safe"

"Yes Moll, no Moll, anything you say Moll"

"And you're not too big for a clip round the earhole mate … keep that up 'n you'll find out"

"Sorry …" Sam had been packing and re-packing his precious mini for the last couple of hours but stopped to look over his shoulder and give her his best grin which made her laugh in spite of herself.. Despite him telling everyone that he was definitely going to fail, he'd sailed through his test first go and had then spent an ecstatic weekend car shopping with his dad until he'd finally chosen a third hand red mini which had been his absolute bloody pride and joy ever since he'd got his hands on it. He'd spent every minute he could polishing it and taking it for little test drives round the lanes, and then polishing it a bit more and had spent a lot of time yelling at the kids to stop putting their sticky fingers on the paintwork.

But today was the day that Molly had been dreading. She knew she was probably getting on his nerves, she was getting on her own bloody nerves and on Charles' as well, but she couldn't seem to shut up. Charles had taken the day off to see Sam off to Cirencester, but the way he was now sighing and rolling his eyes was telling her that he definitely hadn't taken the day off so he could listen to her rabbiting on and getting on everyone's bits. She'd done her best to keep busy all morning, had resisted interfering in his packing, and had been trying to pretend she had stuff to do that couldn't wait, but really she was trying to hide that she was in bits. It wasn't only knowing she was going to miss him doing the lion's share of the cooking, although that was true, but it was as if she was having to wave goodbye to one of hers. She was worried about him, was scared he was going to find it hard to cope which she knew was bloody ridiculously over-protective, he wasn't a kid, he was almost grown up and had been away at boarding school for years. Fo fuck sake he was almost the same age that she'd been when she'd joined up. But it was just she couldn't get rid of the picture in her head of the skinny clone of his dad sitting there at the kitchen table telling her how unhappy he'd been at school and how he'd just put up with it because he didn't feel he had a choice. She didn't want him to ever feel like that again.

"He'll be fine … stop worrying Moll … he's practically taken the bloody thing to bed with him since he got it, so he's not going to take risks or do anything to put scratches on it, or damage it is he?"

"I don't care about the bloody car …" Molly shrugged and took a deep breath, then forced her lips to smile at Sam "I know he's gonna be fine … I know that … just sayin' that's all"

She badly wanted to hit Charles, she knew he was trying to jolly them up or something but that didn't stop her hating him for it, this was Sammie and he was leaving home. She'd been all sensible about it earlier, hadn't let the kids off from going to school which meant Chloe would probably still not be talking to her when she got home. She'd thrown the mother and father of all stops and had got herself into trouble with her dad for screaming in Molly's face that she was stupid and mean and that she hated her, but Molly had been unmoved. She'd honestly thought it was for the best because she'd been afraid the kids would bawl which would upset Sam and make it hard for him when he was leaving. But she was the one who was fighting back the tears.

"I know, I know it's gonna be… " It was on the tip of her tongue to say it was going to be fine, but that word was getting a bit over-used "Alright … I know it is, course it is … I know that, course I do …. but … if you do find you really 'ate it Sam, remember you don't 'ave to stop there … you can always come home … you don't even have to say … we won't rent your room out for a bit …"

She knew that as a joke it was a pretty feeble attempt and sensed rather than saw Charles' back go a bit stiff at what she'd said, she knew he'd expect Sam to give it his very best shot and do all that stiff upper lip crap. Well so did she, sort of, although probably not as much as Charles did, she did want it to go well for Sam, fo him to be happy but she also wanted more than anything to make sure he knew that the door would never be shut for him. Whatever happened. Memories of how it felt to have the door shut in her face were still there somewhere at the back of her head, probably always would be.

"You okay?" Charles put his arm round her as they stood side by side waving and watching Sam drive off, carefully putting his indicators on as he turned out of the drive onto the lane "Come on … he will be okay Moll … he's a lot tougher than he looks"

"Nah he's not … and I need a drink …"

She was suddenly gagging for a large glass of wine, or more than one. Never mind she was a bit of a lightweight these days, her day out in London with Jackie had shown her that if nothing else, and that two glasses would render her bloody useless for the rest of the day. Not that it mattered, he was at home and could look after the kids, and the way she felt she probably wouldn't stop at two anyway. A bottle sounded good, she no longer had any idea of how much it would take to reach oblivion.

"I'll make a cuppa in a minute …" He didn't seem to have grasped the finer points of her wish for alcohol "Hey … come on, he will be okay you know he will … honestly … you have to believe me and stop worrying"

"Will he? Yeah if you say so" She sounded as if she didn't believe that for one second "Could have done without you being away on top …"

"I know … the timing is really bloody shit … but you knew I was going to have to at some point and it is only for a few days … we've got a while yet … so…how about we make the most of having an empty house for a change?"

"It's not empty … what about Livvie?"

"She's asleep"

He was chewing his bottom lip and smirking at her as she shrugged knowing she was deliberately taking it out on him, but seeing Sam drive off like that made it all feel empty already. It underlined for her just how much she was dreading the minute the clock was turned back and she was on her own with the kids while he was off somewhere saving the sodding planet "What's she like Charles?"

"Who? Who are we talking about?"

"You know who … stop pissing about" She'd sworn it was the one question she wasn't going to ask, but somehow her mouth was saying things without bothering to ask her brain for permission "Your new assistant, that's who… remember her, the one who's going with you?"

"Lucy? Well …. let me see now … she's very organised and … very efficient and … umm … she certainly doesn't suffer fools gladly, got a tongue like a fucking whiplash … scares the shit out of everyone" He laughed "Including me … tell you what, she'd have made a bloody good RSM"

"That's not what I'm asking … I don't care 'bout that, and you know it … what does she look like? Is she blonde or is she … like Sasha?"

"Christ Moll, she's nothing like Sasha, what do you take me for? And she's not blonde either … but … what does that matter? It makes no difference at all what she looks like, but as it happens she … ummm … she looks a lot like Stephen Fry in drag …"

"Oh…"

Suddenly there was this desperate urge to giggle, probably more from embarrassment and relief than from anything he said being funny, he hadn't sounded like he was joking. She'd been torturing herself since he'd casually mentioned that not only was he going to show willing and make a bloody trip to the Yemen but he wasn't going on his own. He was taking this Lucy with him. Why the fuck Sasha's replacement had to be another girl she didn't know and hadn't asked, but it hadn't sounded like it had even occurred to him that she'd be worried or mind or anything. But she did mind and she was worried, not because it was dangerous out there, she knew only too bloody well that it was so there would have been no point in him saying different, but she'd been imagining this Lucy as Sasha mark 2. She probably be blonde this time and all teeth and tits, another one who'd take one look at him and wave her knickers in the air. And was bound to be a lot fitter than her, her day in London with a very slim and super fit Jackie, had made her conscious that she didn't do fit, she did fat. And that she was the only one who could do something about it. Go to the gym or something. She'd be happier if she could get back to how she used to be when she first knew him, but apart from the occasional run with Patches, the only real exercise she got these days was carting bags of shopping from Tesco to the car and picking up the odd bit of sodding Lego before she stood on it. That was it. It was no bloody wonder she had cellulite like you wouldn't believe. And what with not having a proper job, although to be honest she'd got no idea why that had all started to matter so much, it wasn't like she really cared what other people thought, was it? She needed to forget about how it felt to be nineteen and fit as a flea with more than enough brains even if she hadn't always used them. And that hadn't changed, they were still there even without her being fit.

It was just she'd been a bit paranoid that was all. Had been trying so hard not to look jealous or like some sort of epic fail, had wanted him to think she was all open minded. All of which felt a bit bloody stupid now when it was obvious he hadn't got the first idea what had been going on in her head. She should have realised there was no point waiting for him to put her mind at rest, he was a bloke for fuck sake.

"Listen … how about going to the Farm Shop later when we've collected the kids … choose a tree, that'll keep them busy so that Chloe …" He shook his head "What do you think?"

"Bit early innit? Bloody thing'll be well dead before Christmas"

"Okay, just a thought … we needn't if you don't think it's a good idea … I just thought we could buy one when there's still lots to choose from instead of waiting till there are hardly any left … and we don't have to bring it in the house just yet"

"What?"

"The tree? We can leave it outside for a bit …"

"Oh yeah … sorry … that … okay"

"Come on …" He put his hand out and started to pull her towards the open front door "I think you need a little nap" He put his head back and laughed.

"Nah, I don't, not tired … stop it …"

"Nope … sorry can't do that, told you … I think you need a little rest …"

"And I told you I'm not tired …" Molly was biting her lip and giggling as he pulled her after him, he was right when he said it had been a very long time since they'd last had the house virtually to themselves during the day.

"Oh good …"

-OG-

"Daddy, Daddy look …look … I got a sustificate…."

"Lovely … well done Button … " He had no idea what it was except it was obviously important to Millie judging by the way she was waving a large piece of card in the air and jumping up and down. She was in a state of high excitement as Charles picked her up and looked at Molly over her shoulder raising his eyebrows looking for some help.

"Look Mummy …" Millie twisted round to beam at her mother "It's a STAR and I had to go up on the stage in front of everyone in assembelly to get given it and Mrs Buchanan said 'Well done Millie " and everyone was watching, Chloe was and Markie and they both saw … and then everyone had to clap …"

"Lovely … well done Button … so let's have a look at it then"

"You can see the sustificate Daddy, look it's got my name on it, but you have to wait to see my picture and the writing … its up on the wall and I did a drawing of our chickens and said about how they came in our kitchen and how Mummy was cross and shouted and said things about them doing lots of poos on the floor …"

"Might have known poo would come into it somewhere … "

"Stop it … Listen Mills … that's really good … well done …and we'll have to find somewhere really special for it … but… ummm, what did you tell 'em I said?"

Oh shit, what exactly had she said? Nothing good that was for sure, she remembered being pretty bloody livid when some bugger had left the back door open and the chickens had come wandering in. To crap all over her clean kitchen floor. She wasn't that bothered by them anymore, actually was getting quite fond of them in a funny sort of way now their feathers were growing back and she could tell the difference between them although she couldn't pretend she was fond of cleaning up after them and at least she didn't have to de-louse them anymore. Best even if she could tell them apart, she still wasn't sure which ones had started laying the odd white egg. But seemed she was going to have to be much more careful what came out of her mouth if they were going to put it in their bloody schoolwork.

"Not the bad words Mummy, I didn't know how you spell them, just the shouty ones …"

"Thank Christ for small mercies … come on then, do tell, what's the difference?"

"Shut up, you're not 'elping"

If looks could kill and there was any justice in the world Charles would be shrivelling up on the spot instead of standing there holding Millie and laughing like a drain with his head thrown back as Molly glared at him.

"They're not yours, they're mine… Mummy got them for me not you …"

"What?"

"Stupid idiot baby Millie said they were our chickens but they're not, they're mine and … I've got to go home and put them to bed before it's dark … where are we going?" Marcus was obviously not quite as thrilled about the certificate as his sister was.

"Stoppit being nasty … and your sister is not stupid and she's not a baby, 'n she didn't mean they was her chickens … just that they live with us … so no more and Daddy thought we could go 'n get a tree, so please can we all be nice or Is that too much to ask?"

"What sort of tree?"

They were the first words Chloe had spoken since she came out of school looking as immaculate as when she'd gone flouncing in that morning, even her socks were pulled up and pristine white. She was however, still truculent and still scowling at Molly.

"What sort of tree do you think?"

Molly regretted it as soon as the words left her mouth. It wasn't only Chloe that hadn't forgotten the scene from that morning, but it didn't matter how hurt she'd been, she was supposed to be the adult so it was up to her to make things right. Something that wasn't going to be helped by her being shitty and sarcastic. She took a deep breath and tried again.

"A Christmas tree of course"

"It's not Christmas … haven't even got an Advent Calendar yet" There was a distinct element of being hard-done by and cruelly mistreated in Chloe's voice "I suppose this is all to make us forget that Sam has gone?"

"Nah … course it's not and we're all gonna miss him, Chloe and … it's not forever is it? … 'n it's not long till it is Christmas and Daddy thought it would be nice if you all helped him pick out the best tree"

Nice? Oh good, now she sounded like Mary fucking Poppins or that wieird bloody nun from Sound of Music, the one that Jackie had said about, any minute now and she'd be cutting up curtains. She stole a little sideways peep at Charles who was busy trying to pretend he was concentrating on driving so wasn't listening but who had this resigned look on his face as Millie repeatedly kicked the back of his seat. Something he hated when he was driving. Livvie had, as she usually did, dozed off in her seat the minute the car started moving but the other two were both muttering away furiously, probably plotting their mutiny. As outings went, it was going the right way towards being an unmitigated fucking disaster.

-OG-