A/N: Sorry I know it's been an age, but have had problems with yet another knackered keyboard, I kill the blessed things in no time flat, anyway have now got an external one which I hope won't give up the ghost too quickly, and just when I was back on track had another ghastly attack of Vertigo – anyway enough of that, thank you so much for all your lovely reviews for the last chapter and hope you will enjoy this one … and a huge thank you to Flossy for telling me to get my head out of my arse and stop editing/deleting.

-OG-

Sometimes it seemed like a complete bloody mystery to Molly how everyone else could get their kids to behave nicely without any shouting, hers were the only ones in the entire place that seemed to be bickering and sulking over which of the hundreds of identical trees was best. It was bloody mortifying that others were all smiles posing for happy pictures to stick on Instagram or Facebook, when the only thing hers seemed to be agreeing on was that the tree had to be the biggest. In the end Charles got all pissy and said he didn't give a shit about how MEAN he was being, he wasn't paying shed-loads for a tree they couldn't even get in the bloody house. Well, not without lobbing at least six foot off it. Molly was just finding it hard to pretend she gave a shit which of the dozens of identical fucking trees they ended up with, all she could think about was that she hadn't heard from Sam. Not a dicky since he'd gone driving off promising her faithfully he'd text when he got there, since then, nothing. Zilch. A great big deafening bleeding silence, and apart from not wanting spoil anything by having a little grizzle, she knew there was no point saying anything to Charles anyway, he'd only say that Sam would text when he was ready and to stop worrying. As if it was that easy.

"Isn't it bedtime yet? I think an early night would be good"

"You or them?"

"Both?" He laughed "Fuck … today feels like it's never going to end"

"Yeah?" She emptied a bag of oven chips onto a baking tray, there was no point in telling him it was no different from any other day, he knew that as well as she did "And sorry nah, not over yet … tea first … and I better not hear one word from anyone about how it's not like Sam would of made" She tried and failed to smile convincingly, then looked up and frowned "Do you really think he's okay? I mean, you're not just sayin' that to shut me up … little sod didn't say a lot when he finally remembered to tell us he wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere did he?"

"Of course he's okay Moll … he's going to be fine, he got there safely and I'm sure he'll text again later once he's settled in" Charles shook his head "He knows how much you worry… now … come on, what culinary delight are you planning on treating me to tonight?"

"If you're not careful you'll get nothing… like Nan says you should be grateful for what you get" She giggled "Sausage 'n chips …"

"Lovely … although I have to say that's not what Sam would have made"

"Haha … hilarious"

"I thought so"

"Yeah, you would … pissing meself 'ere, can't you tell?"

She was trying not to show that a giggle was desperate to escape as he laughed and grabbed her wrists and held them high over her head, smirking and shaking his head. He was obviously enjoying thwarting all her efforts to get her arms free.

"Let go of me…"

"If you ask nicely … say please…"

"Nah … oh alright … please boss, can you be really, really kind and let go of me? There…is that nice enough for you?"

"Ummmm … boss?" He shook his head again still holding her wrists and still smirking "Nope…"

"What more do you want? How about … I promise?"

"Promise what?" His eyebrows shot up as he bit his lip and leered down at her.

"Not what you're thinking mate …how about …I promise I won't hit you … that do you? "

"Let me see now. … " He put his head on one side and smirked again before shaking it "Nope"

"Oh come on Charlie stop messing … it's not funny, got things I gotta do"

"Really?"

"Yeah … 'n you're being a bully"

"Yep … that as well"

"As well as what?"

"You know you love me really"

"Do I … says who?"

"You …" He transferred his hold on her wrists to one hand and then grinned as he ran the other through her hair before leaning forward and gently tugging her close. He equally gently slid his lips over hers before he closed his eyes and the kisses got harder and deeper as he eased her lips apart with his tongue and then ran his hand down her back until he was cupping her bum. He pulled her body hard against the erection she could clearly feel through his jeans.

"What are you doing Daddy?"

Millie's clear little voice made them spring apart as if there was a sniper, neither of them had been the slightest bit aware of the deeply interested six-year old audience they'd acquired. Mille was standing watching with her hands on her hips and curiosity written all over her. She made an exaggerated pointing gesture in their direction.

"Sorry Button, what do you mean what am I doing?" He was trying to sound as if he'd got no idea what she was even talking about as he quickly turned his back to avoid her curious gaze.

"Why were you doing that? Why were you holding Mummy's hands up like that? Over her head. In the air" She said it slowly and loudly with a degree of patient irritation as if she thought he'd suddenly gone deaf.

"Don't be silly, he wasn't" Molly smiled at her as she lied though her teeth.

"He was" Millie was adamant as she looked from one to the other, there was obviously no way she was going to let herself be fobbed off with lies, and was just as obviously beginning to get a little pissed at having to repeat herself "I saw him, just now … I did … he was … Daddy was … he was holding your hands up …. like this" She held her arms up over her head to demonstrate "And he was stroking your bum as well Mummy"

"What do you think they were doing? ... duh" Chloe had materialised behind her sister and was now irritably shaking her head at Millie, there was a look of deep disgust on her face "I think it's totally gross"

"'n that'll do thank you" Molly might as well not have bothered for all the notice they took of what she said.

"I don't know, do I? That's what I was asking" Millie's voice was beginning to get very shrill "TELL ME Chloe … you got to" She narrowed her eyes at her sister "It's not fair" She stamped her foot as the last vestige of her patience, questionable at the best of times, deserted her and tears of frustration threatened.

"NO. I. DON'T … don't have to tell you anything … who says I have to?"

"It's no big deal, Mills, and it's not worth getting yourself all upset over, it was nothing, me and Daddy was just 'aving a little joke, that's all …dunno what you're on about, Chloe, but that's enough now 'n stop teasing your sister … 'ave you both done your 'omework?"

Even she could hear it was a bloody pathetically lame attempt to change the subject, she couldn't have done a worse job if she'd tried and the way Charles was making all these snorting noises down his nose trying not to laugh wasn't exactly helping. It didn't matter he'd still got his back turned so she couldn't see his face, she didn't have to see it to know he was bloody well smirking, it was obvious he was finding it well funny. Which was more than she was, her bloody face felt like it was on fire.

"I'm just going to give Rebecca a quick ring …"

"Nah" But he just ignored her and left her to it.

"Duh … everyone knows" Chloe did this Oscar winning world-weary sigh of resignation and then shrugged "Well all 'cept for dumb little babies like you, everyone else knows what it means when people do things like that with each other …"

"WHAT? What does it mean?" Millie stamped her foot and narrowed her eyes with suspicion "I think you're just making it up to look clever, Mummy's right … you're just pretending…"

"No I'm not and I'm not making it up, people do all that kissing and touching each other and playing about when they want to go and have sex … when they're going to mate …"

"How do you know?"

"I just do … they're always at it"

"Who are?"

"People … they do it all the time" Shit for a moment Molly was horrified "I've seen it on tele" The relief was momentarily overwhelming.

"No … i mean how do you know Mummy and Daddy were going to mate? How do you know that's what they do?"

"Duh … where do you think they got Livvie from?"

"But … we've had Livvie for ages"

"CHLOE I mean it, I said that'll do …" Mating? Molly made a mental note to have a close look at what she'd been watching that had people rushing off to have sex all the time, somehow she didn't think it was CBBC. But there was no bloody way on earth she was going to stand and listen to her kids discussing her sex life, not to mention that the word mate was making her cringe "I've heard more than enough from the both of you …"

"Oh Muuuuummm … when are you going to stop treating me like I'm some little kid? I'm not a baby anymore, I know all about that stuff" Chloe tossed her head in what was a painfully familiar gesture to Molly. Suddenly it was as if she was looking down a tunnel at what she used to be like when she was Chloe's age, she used to flick her pony tail over her shoulder in exactly the same way and her parents antics had made her cringe. Mind you they never stopped groping and she'd bloody hated the way they never bothered about who was around. She used to get mortified that her mum always seemed to be getting pregnant. And Charles and her were nothing like them, were they?

"I think it's gross and anyway you and Dad are way too old to be doing all that stuff"

"Thank you, you can stop right there … it's got nothing to do with how old you are or how old anyone else is neither… 'n tea's nearly ready" It wasn't "Go and wash your hands and call Markie for me, we'll talk about this later on"

Shit. Not only had it felt like it had taken her forever to find her don't mess with me voice but she knew that she was just putting it off, which was never going to work. Even if Millie forgot, which was a bit unlikely, Chloe wasn't going to let her off the hook that easy, bloody kid had a memory like a bleeding elephant when it suited her. Molly knew that if she was any kind of proper mum she'd sit them down and explain all calmly and without the cringing and the awful squirmy embarrassment in her guts, she'd tell them without blushing that some things are private and not up for discussion. But she wasn't that mum and she bloody needed time to think about what to say and was pretty sure telling your kid to fuck off would be called child abuse these days. She could well remember being told it all the time when she was Chloe's age, still, now she came to think of it, she'd probably deserved it.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, never better" Molly pulled a face "No bleeding thanks to you … where d'you go running off to like that? … 'n don't give me all that bollocks about 'aving to ring Rebecca …" She stopped trying to pretend to be annoyed with him and giggled "'ere, guess what? Chloe thinks we're too old for sex … told me she thinks we're gross to even think about mating" She giggled "S'pose she might 'ave a point"

"Mating? Lovely … and no she doesn't" He smirked "I left you to it because I didn't think you'd want them to see me finding it funny … and I'm sure you handled it beautifully"

"Coward …"

"I know and I'm sorry… "

"Yeah … you look it…"

"I think there ought to be a way of sending them back when they stop being sweet and innocent …"

"Where you gonna send 'em?"

"I haven't worked out the finer details yet …"

-OG-

Oh, I wanna dance with somebody….

I wanna feel the heat of somebody …

Somebody who loves me….

The last time she'd worn the tiny little red skirt she was wearing he'd pretended to be appalled, had said he could see her knickers and had forbidden her to even think about going out of the house wearing it. He'd said it was almost obscene and that there was no way he was going to let other men look at her arse. The whole thing had been a joke but it had been one that he had been uncomfortably aware held an element of truth in it somewhere. At the time it had made her laugh and stick her tongue out before she'd accused him of getting old and had sashayed off, swinging her hips and telling him he should be grateful.

She had black tights on with it which were doing great things for her legs and for once he didn't recognise the long black sweater as one of his own. The way it was falling off one shoulder and her hair in a pony tail made her look as if she wasn't much more than Chloe's age as she sang along swinging her hips in time to the music. Her back was towards him as she sorted a pile of clean washing and Charles knew that in spite of the ecstatic welcome he'd had from a decidedly damp Patches she was oblivious to his presence , because if she'd had any idea at all she definitely wouldn't be singing. She never sang in front of him.

"Hey …"

"SHIT" Molly spun round, dropped the socks she'd been pairing up and simultaneously zapped Whitney Houston on her phone, her eyes wide with shock "Where did you spring from? Bloody hell … wasn't expecting you"

"Last time I checked I live here … do you want me to go out and come back in again?" The minute the words left his mouth he not only regretted them but the tone of his voice as he'd delivered them. He took a deep breath, the last thing he'd intended was to be shitty.

"Don't be daft … nearly give me a Julius that's all …"

Molly yanked the scrunchie out of her hair and shook it loose and grinned at him, happy that at least her hair was clean and shiny, even if the rest of her wasn't up to much. She was hot and a bit sweaty and needed a wee and had just been thinking about how tired she was, so the welcome home had probably not been the one he was expecting. Nice of her to tell him he wasn't supposed to be back yet.

"Are you alright … you look … a bit …. shit?" He looked awful, really pale and tired with these dark, dark rings under his eyes as if he was a bit Tom and Dick or something.

"Thanks, that's made me feel so much better … why would anything be wrong? And I did think you'd be pleased to see me" He smiled as he tried to be reassuring, knowing he was lying and that he sounded strained, but also knowing that it wasn't the right time to open that particular can of worms "Is everything alright, kids okay? Have we heard from Sam?"

"Sam's fine, says he's having a good time and the kids are good 'n all … 'n the chickens … 'n me … pretty much everything" She giggled "Not sure Sam's s'posed to be there to have a good time … but still … and course I'm pleased to see you, you just give me a shock, that's all … missed you didn't I?"

"Glad to hear it, obviously not enough to come over here and give me a kiss though"

Molly stuck her tongue out and then flung herself across the room to throw her arms round his neck. Even though it had been years and things were very different now, whenever he got back from somewhere, anywhere, and he'd done it a fair bit over the years, it had always taken her just a few moments to readjust to him being there.

"Better?"

"Indeed … much" He laughed and pulled a face "Actually it's probably a bloody good idea if you don't get too close, I fucking stink, been smelling myself all the way home "

"Don't care, do I?" Molly looped her arms round his neck and reached up to kiss him but then stepped back and wrinkled her nose "Actually think I make you right … what 'ave you been up to? There was me thinking it was all first class and 5 star 'n that 'n you smell like you been in a FOB"

"Usually it is … but not this time … fucking air raids one after the other put paid to the power, so no water or food, and there's nothing I like more than a makeshift shelter in a hotel basement in 40 fucking degrees with hundreds of other sweaty people, and no air con, not even much air, and don't bloody ask about the latrines … poor Lucy, what a bloody awful introduction … she won't be in a hurry to do it again … you're right, exactly like being in a FOB" He chuckled without sounding as if he was even the tiniest little bit amused and then ran a hand over the back of his neck and tugged at his hair "Gallons of foul airline coffee all day hasn't helped a lot"

"You 'ungry?" She desperately wanted to ask him how much danger there'd been, but knew it would be pointless, he was never going to tell her until he was ready and then only what he wanted her to know. It was always the same, no matter what she said he was convinced that if he said too much she'd do everything she could to try and stop him going "I can make you a sandwich if you want?"

"Lovely … what have we got?"

"Ummm … what do you want? Well actually not much … we got Dairylea and some of that Pussy cheese … oh and Peanut Butter"

"Epoisses? Have we? Lovely … and it's sheep, Moll, not cats" He smirked as he said it which made her flush with a bit of anger as well as embarrassment. She hated that there were still times when he had that bloody patronising Rupert tone in his voice, and she didn't bloody care about the right way to pronounce it or what it was sodding well made of. She'd put a bit in her mouth once to taste if it was as bad as it smelled and that was enough. She'd had to spit it out, couldn't possibly swallow it, it was either that or retch.

"I don't give a rat's bum what it's made out of, it smells like a rotting armpit and it's like trying to swallow a mouthful of phlegm"

"Nice … Lovely … Got to say I'm a tad surprised you bought it, I thought last time you said you'd never kiss me again if I'd been eating it …"

"I know, good of me or what? … and what makes you think I'm gonna kiss you? … or you can 'ave Dairylea if you want"

"No thanks"

Molly giggled at his tone of voice, she knew he wouldn't eat Dairylea even for a bet, and anyway she was buggered if she'd queued up at the Deli counter for about 100 bloody years to get the disgusting stuff for him not to eat it. He was going to eat it if she had to force it down his throat, and he could always clean his teeth after couldn't he? Well, he'd bloody have to if he wanted to kiss her.

In the sleepless early hours she'd begun planning a welcome home, one that would show she wasn't in a strop about him going. Even if she was. A bit. Some of that sourdough bread he loved, and he could have it with that bloody godawful cheese and she'd make it look pretty, would dot some Olives here and there and a bit of Rocket and maybe a tomato and grapes or something. All the things he loved and nothing she'd have to cook, so nothing to cock up, and she could have cheddar with hers. And she'd get a decent bottle of wine for them to share, one with a cork and something nice for pudding, she wasn't sure what, would have a look when she got in Tesco. But she'd only got as far as the cheese, him getting back before she could do the bloody shopping had put the kibosh on it, but that didn't have to mean he couldn't have the cheese in a sandwich, did it? She was pretty sure there was a jar of Olives lurking somewhere in the back of the fridge, although they might well be wearing fur coats by now, she'd got no idea how old they were or how long they keep before they poison you.

"Sounds lovely …" He was properly laughing now with his head thrown back "Go on surprise me … have we got any wine left? Or is that a silly question, Mrs James?"

"Yeah is a bit … sorry …" She giggled a happy giggle "'n before you say anything … that's not my fault, wasn't expecting you back tonight was I?"

"I might have known it'd be my fault … coffee?"

"Yeah" Molly giggled at his obvious attempt to sound like a long-suffering cruelly deprived martyr "Don't worry, we got loads"

"Good … that couldn't possibly be because you don't like it, could it?"

"'No need to be like that is there?" She was doing her best not to giggle "Yeah, alright, might be a bit of that … 'ere, you go 'n 'ave your shower so you smell a bit better and …then if you're good I'll make you one … might even bring a cup up for you"

"I'm always good" He smirked "Moll?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, and it's lovely to be home, I've missed you as well" He started to walk away but then paused "Nice skirt by the way" He laughed as she stuck her tongue out "And why is the mutt wet like that?"

"Had to hose him down, didn't I? Little bugger rolled in something that I'm pretty sure came out of some other animal's bum"

"Lovely …"

"Nah it bloody wasn't …"

-OG-

She wasn't entirely convinced that the cheese would have the same appeal slapped between two slices of Mothers Pride with a couple of the dubious Olives and a tired bunch of salad leaves or what Millie called weeds. Still best she could do. Apart from the dreaded Dairylea, which she loved and he despised, there wasn't much else to pick from, except for the Peanut Butter she'd offered but which on closer inspection seemed to be an empty jar and some eggs that had been there since before the chickens started paying for their keep with the odd egg. They were well past their sell-by. She'd already used what they had for packed lunches and if she re-purposed anything now it meant she'd be stuck for what to give the kids that wouldn't see her hauled up in front of the food police at school. Not for the first time she wished she was a bit more organised, disciplined the way she used to be as a medic when she'd been on top of things, but no matter how hard she tried, they were like a plague of bleeding locusts. They cleared the fridge in no time.

She put his coffee in the old travel mug in case it had to wait, he didn't seem to care but she always thought it tasted even worse cold, and did her best not to breathe too deeply near the bloody sandwich when she put it on the bedside table. God the cheese smelled like something had died which bothered her a bit that the whole bedroom was going to stink to high bloody heaven.

She had been going to change the sheets before he got back but that was another plan that had gone to shit, sleeping in his own bed with lovely clean fresh sheets was something Charles really loved when he'd been away, but it was far too late for her to start messing about in the airing cupboard, it'd risk waking the whole house.

She pulled off her lovely new sweater and very carefully draped it over the back of the chair, loving the feel of it and finding it hard to stop running her hand over it, stroking it. It was the first bit of cashmere she'd ever had in her whole life. Okay, no-one needed to tell her that it was a stupid choice, not only would it be a fucking nightmare to wash but it wouldn't go in the dryer either. It was bound to end up wrecked with the kids. But none of that had stopped her. And it had been an absolute bargain. Sort of.

Now that he was back and she could hear the shower running she could feel all those little wobbly moments she'd been having, like who he was with and what he was doing and all the rest of it, disappearing. It wasn't like she hadn't known they were down to her letting her bloody imagination get the better of her, was it? But it had just been so hard to convince herself and now as she pulled on the baggy old 't' shirt of his that passed for a nightie, she looked carefully in the mirror and tried to see herself as he might see her. She didn't really do sexy, never had, so didn't have any stuff you would call lingerie and her one and only black bra and knickers was hand wash only so was having its usual long wait in the bin. Yet another thing she'd been going to sort before he got home. Shit.

Still it wasn't like she was intending to seduce him, was it?

-OG-