It was nearly an hour after nightfall when we crossed the Romanian border and Caesar deemed it safe for me to allow the shadows that surrounded us to recede. I did so gratefully, the burn in my throat so strong that I knew my eyes must be pitch black.

"I'll get you a human to feed off from the next town we skirt," Caesar promised when he saw the state of me. "I would suggest animals, but with how thirsty you are your eyes would turn gold on first feeding and it's not something the masters would approve."

"Makes sense," I said. Even as thirsty as I was, the thought of drinking from a deer was not appealing. I would never understand how my family did it.

We came upon the next city fifteen minutes later, and Hugo and I waited well outside it while Caesar went to find me a meal. Despite our decent control, Hugo and I were still newborns and Caesar didn't want to take any unnecessary risks. It was a long half-hour before Caesar returned, an unconscious man slung over his shoulder.

Venom pooled in my mouth and I pounced, blinded by thirst, as soon as Caesar tossed the human down in front of me.

I dropped the human again to the ground when there was nothing left of him to drink, my tongue darting out to lick the last of the blood from my mouth.

"Hugo, would you mind taking care of the body?" Caesar asked.

"Sure," Hugo said, and a second later the body was alight, burning hotter and faster than any fire I had ever seen. Only a couple minutes passed before the body, including the bones, was nothing but ash.

"You've been practicing," Caesar said approvingly. "Well done."

"Gracias! Rowan has been helping me during our free time," Hugo said, beaming at his praise.

We took another few minutes to scatter the ashes so they wouldn't be discovered before resuming our journey. We stopped only once more to hide our items - the burners and crests - far away from the castle. I would return later, under the cover of shadows, to relocate them closer to the castle.

"A word of warning, Hugo," Caesar said as I poked around for a decent spot. "You'll likely be asked to prove your loyalty when we arrive back. You must do what they say in order for them to believe this venture has been a success, for your safety and ours. You understand?"

"Si," Hugo said, looking nervous.

"Good," Caesar said, nodding in approval.

I stood from where I had crouched to tuck away our things. "We're good to go."

"We best get back, then. Better to be early than late," Caesar said, checking his watch.

The Romanian castle was not yet in view before we were intercepted, one of the perimeter guards dropping out of the trees. It was Xander, who relaxed when he caught full view of our faces.

"Oh, Caesar, it's just you. Thought we had trouble for a minute." Xander tucked his hands in his pockets. "The masters requested one of us escort you back to the throne room as soon as you return. Guess that's me."

"Do the others on border patrol need to be informed of your absence?" Caesar asked. We walked at human pace now, which didn't seem to bother Xander.

"Nah, Maxim's around here somewhere. He'll pick up the slack," he said dismissively. "How was your trip?"

Caesar's answer was brief. "Productive. Did I miss anything of importance?"

"No. Not that I know of, anyway. It's been all quiet here," Xander said, leading us into the castle. After the spacious corridors and soaring rooms of the castle at Volterra, the cramped halls here left me feeling claustrophobic, as if they would close around me at any moment.

"Masters," Xander said, and we all knelt once we reached the middle of the throne room. I hated it and I hated them more than I ever had before. The room darkened further, but no one besides Caesar seemed to notice.

"You may rise," Vladimir said, lounging languidly on his crumbling throne. "I hope your trip was a success, Caesar."

"It was," Caesar said, placing a hand on Hugo's shoulder. "I believe you'll find him quite cooperative now."

"Wonderful," Vladimir said. "Did you run into any trouble?"

"None. We only went as close to the city as to see it in the distance. We were entirely undetected," Caesar said.

"Good, good."

Stefan leaned forward. "I trust Hugo is willing to prove his worth to us?"

"Whatever you ask of him shall be done," Caesar said calmly.

"Who would you say is our weakest link, Caesar?" Stefan asked, standing.

Caesar cocked a brow. "In what way? Do you refer to control, fighting ability, or both?"

"Collectively," Stefan said.

"Antonio," Caesar said after giving it a moment's thought. "Both his control and combat capabilities leave something to be desired."

"Adrian, fetch Antonio and bring him to us," Stefan said, lifting a lazy hand to wave Adrian out of the room.

"Right away, Master," Adrian said, bowing briefly before exiting.

"While we wait, I wonder if you were able to see anything that would give you an idea of how the Volturi are preparing for the battle," Vladimir said, addressing Caesar. "I'd imagine our killing of their brute alerted them to the seriousness of our mission if they weren't already aware."

Anger roared through me, hot and vengeful, and it was only Hugo's slight nudge against my side that prevented me from losing my temper entirely. Two more weeks seemed a long time away when my revenge could be had here and now.

"I was not close enough to get any information of much use," Caesar said, keeping their attention on him so they would not notice my silent rage. "However, I could smell vampires in the area. I'd venture to say that they are gathering allies to help them in the fight."

"Nothing more than what we expected, then," Stefan said, looking impatiently towards the door.

Adrian entered then, trailed shortly by Antonio. "I have brought Antonio for you, Masters."

"Come forward, Antonio. No need to kneel," Stefan said, beckoning him forward. "You've been chosen for a great honor."

"A great honor, Masters?" Antonio repeated, a greedy look shining in his eyes.

"Yes. Come, Hugo," Stefan said, and Hugo tentatively walked over to him. Stefan, who was still standing, placed a hand on Hugo's shoulder. It would have been a paternal gesture had it not been so sinister. "As you may know, Antonio, Hugo has recently struggled with obedience. I do not question his loyalty, simply his ability to do what is asked of him."

"I have heard that, yes," Antonio said.

"Good. Vladimir and I decided that it would be wise to try a method separate from our normal persuasion tactics and, according to Caesar, it was a success. Hugo is now quite devoted to our cause. Right, Hugo?" Stefan squeeze Hugo's shoulder so hard he winced. I curled my hands into fists, shaking with rage.

"Y-Yes, Master Stefan," Hugo stammered, eyes fearful.

"Good. We cannot have weak links here, I am sure you understand that, Hugo," Stefan said, bloodthirsty expression on his face. "Antonio, I am afraid you have been judged to be our weakest link. However, you are not entirely useless. I trust you understand what I wish for you to do, boy?"

"Yes," Hugo squeaked.

Antonio's smug look dropped into one of pure horror. "Masters, please, I beg-"

"We do not beg here," Stefan hissed, sneering. "You are weak. Destroy him, Hugo."

Hugo's eyes darted to me again and I nodded near imperceptibly. His eyes snapped back towards Antonio, who had been grabbed trying to escape by one of the guards near the door and tossed back into the room.

"Yes, Master Stefan," Hugo said, voice remarkably void of any sort of emotion.

Antonio started screaming as fire sprung up on his skin, burning hot and fast until his screaming stopped and he collapsed, nothing left behind but ash and smoke.

Vladimir smiled cruelly. "An impressive display, Hugo. I am so glad you have finally come to your senses. With you, we shall be unstoppable."

"With this development we have much to discuss," Stefan said, his cool reaction far more troubling than Vladimir's savage delight. "Hugo, Cullen, you're dismissed. I believe an unscheduled meeting is in order, Caesar, so join us at the normal spot. Adrian, carry the message to the rest."

Hugo darted to my side, relieved to be away from Stefan and Vladimir, and I wasted no time in leaving the throne room. Hugo was content to watch television once we reach his room, curled into my side. None of the cartoons were in a language I understood. With nothing now to distract me, I was left to feel the constant burn of thirst and the unceasing ache of the bond. I was thoroughly miserable, and it came as a relief when I got to leave Hugo for a spell to train with Caesar and Maxim.

"How are you holding up?" Caesar asked me in between spars. Our matches had been unusually brutal and several times I had come close to accidentally ripping off one of his arms or legs after not regulating my newborn strength. Our spars were currently an outlet for my anger and instincts, something that Caesar seemed to sense.

I shrugged. "Okay."

"If I had to guess, I'd have to say that's a stretch," he said.

"One of my friends is dead, I'm constantly thirsty, and the bond makes me feel like I'm being torn apart from the inside. Of course it's a stretch," I said tiredly. "But what else am I supposed to say?"

Caesar sighed. "I don't know. You can do this, Rowan. It will be worth it in the end."

"If I didn't believe that, I wouldn't be there," I said, dodging his sudden attack with practiced ease. "Just two more weeks of hell, right?"

Caesar laughed, though his heart wasn't in it. "Yes. Two more weeks of hell."

He attacked me again, and this time I pinned him to the floor.

A short while later I walked the halls to meet Maxim in Hugo's training room. He was already waiting when I arrived two minutes after six.

"So I heard an interesting bit of news," Maxim drawled, his amusement evident in the slight arch of his brows.

I played dumb. "What sort of news?"

"During my normal check-in, imagine my surprise when I find out that not only did you visit the castle, but you made an appearance," he said, lips curling upward. "I cannot say I'm surprised, really. I'm moreso impressed that you managed to escape Volterra for a second time. With Caesar and Hugo in tow, no less."

I didn't bother hiding my grin. "What can I say? It's a skill."

"I believe the exact words Santiago used were 'bad habit', but I digress," Maxim said, laughing. I had never heard him laugh before, I realized.

"Is the castle still-"

"In an uproar? I believe so, though not entirely because of your disappearing act. They've needed to make adjustments based on the information they were given which has meant a flurry of activity," Maxim said, sobering once more. "I was also asked to pass on a message. Santiago asked me to tell you that you could have said hello to him because he, and I quote, 'ain't no snitch'."

Maxim reported all of this to me in his normal flat tone and I couldn't help but laugh. "He would say something like that."

"Yes," Maxim agreed. "Fortunately, you will be seeing him soon enough and he can chew you out in person."

"I look forward to it," I said. "What do you plan on us doing today?"

"We'll likely start where we left off before your trip yesterday. I am hoping that your control will have improved with how much you got to exercise it yesterday, but we shall see," he said. "I do have a question, however, though it has nothing to do with your gift and everything to do with mine."

"Sure," I said, intrigued.

"My gift, among other things, allows me to know the fears of others. That is something you knew, correct?"

"I deduced," I said.

"Good. Your fears, most of them I understand. Your gift, losing someone, the coming battle. But there's one of them that doesn't quite make sense to me."

"Which one?"

"Stefan," he said. My stomach lurched. "You don't fear Vladimir. Only Stefan. I wanted to ask why that is."

I swallowed. "Caesar didn't tell you?"

"Tell me?" Maxim echoed.

"I always assumed- I just assumed you knew," I said. "When you first arrived, and Caesar took you to wait with Hugo, where did you think I was?"

"All Caesar said was that you were indisposed."

"I was healing. I was punished by Doyle for denying Stefan," I said dully.

"I assume Stefan didn't ask permission before he tried," Maxim said, eyes stony.

"He didn't get far. But it was enough," I said.

"I'm sorry I asked."

I shrugged. "You didn't know. I can trust you not to say anything, right?"

"Of course. It's not my story to tell," he said. He was furious, that much I could read from the tenseness of his shoulders, but I trusted him to keep his word.

"Thank you, Maxim."

"No need. Let's get to training, shall we? An hour a day is not nearly enough to teach you everything you need to know," Maxim said, and did not mention our previous conversation again.

My training with him went no better than it had two days ago. More than once Maxim had to call for a halt, using his gift to activate my freeze response until I could get my gift under control.

He explained a little more about how his gift worked as I reined in my instincts. "Fear manifests in three ways: fight, flight, and freeze. Typically the response depends on the situation, but I'm able to force a specific response from your body. It's one of the more useful aspects of my ability, especially during a fight."

"Why aren't you higher in the guard? Your gift is just as lethal as Jane or Alec's," I said, calmer now.

Maxim shrugged. "Something to do with seniority, I imagine. You forget I've only been with the guard for about a decade. Besides, I have never desired the responsibility or power that comes with being a higher member of the guard. It gives me less of a chance to abuse my gift."

"I don't have a permanent guard yet, you know. And I would prefer it be comprised of those I know and trust," I said. "I trust you with my life and I've grown used to you having my back. The position is always open to you, should you want it."

"I have always said that our gifts mesh well together, when yours isn't trying to kill me," Maxim said wryly.

I grinned at him. "So that's a yes?"

"Assuming we get through this unscathed, yes. It'd be an honor to serve as one of your guards," he said.

"I'm glad," I said, and the subject was dropped as we returned to our training.

My eyes were black again after my session with Maxim. The man I drained yesterday had been enough to bring a muddy burgundy color to my irises, but the grueling use of my gift and the struggle to keep it under control meant that it felt like I hadn't fed at all.

"Welcome back, Cullen," Doyle said when I entered for control training that afternoon. "Hope you enjoyed your outing, because you won't be getting any more for a while."

I ignored him, stamping down my irritation as I made my way to the far wall. Doyle seemed to sense that I wasn't going to rise to his bait, because he turned and immediately began berating one of the other newborns for his late arrival. It seemed I had only just avoided being late myself.

"Everyone against the wall, you know how this works," Doyle said, the harsh snap meant for the few newborns that still stood towards the middle of the room. Once they were in place, Doyle called for Sam and Holt.

The scent of blood hit me, and even though I was prepared for the agony that would follow, the intensity of my thirst caught me off guard. Venom pooled in my mouth as Sam and Holt dropped the two humans unceremoniously on the floor.

"I see several black eyes among you, so I hope you're ready for a fun couple of hours," Doyle said with savage delight before pulling a knife from his pocket and making the first incision, long and bloody, down the forearm of one of the unconscious humans.

Several snarls, including my own, echoed throughout the room. The scent of blood clouded my senses until it was all I could think of. Doyle was tucking the knife back in his pocket as Sam slammed one of the others back into the wall.

There were only three of them. Only three of them stood in the way of me and the relief of the burn in my throat. But if I failed, they would hurt me, and I wasn't entirely certain the risk was worth it.

I took another breath and all logic shut down.

I darted forward, ducking under Holt and throwing him away. Sam lunged towards me and I jumped over him, rolling forward and crouching over the two humans, snarling. My prey. Their blood was mine.

"Don't be stupid, Cullen," Sam growled, the three now circling me.

I growled back. "Stay back."

"Your funeral," Sam said, he and Holt attacking in unison.

I sunk my teeth into Sam's shoulder, my strength combined and Holt's actions to pull me away ripping Sam's arm clean off. I tossed it away, venom dripping from my teeth, and pounced on Holt, the two of us locked in a quick but dirty fight until I grabbed his neck and threw him into the newborns that still lined the wall. Sam had reattached his arm but instead of working to restrain me now had to beat back the newborns that were using the distraction to move towards the two humans, my prey.

I crouched over the bodies once more, eyes locked on Doyle, who was now the only threat.

"Stay back," I snarled. "They're mine."

"Tsk, tsk, Cullen. You know that's not how things work here," Doyle chided, sinking into a crouch.

The aroma of blood was distracting me and I twitched, longing to sink my teeth into the soft skin of their necks. I growled at Doyle, growing impatient. "I'll rip you apart," I promised, and I meant it.

"Do not think so highly of yourself, Cullen. You could never," Doyle sneered.

I leaned forward, eyes glittering. "I've beat you in the ring before. I can do the same now. I will rip you apart."

"Enough," Doyle roared, starting forward. But he hesitated, and I saw it. I saw the flicker of uncertainty that flashed through his eyes before he decided to act. I bared my teeth at him, springing forward to meet him halfway.

I was not scared of him. Because hesitation meant one thing, and one thing only.

Weakness.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰

If y'all thought that Rowan would magically have perfect control like Bella, then ding dong, you were wrong. Now it's only a matter of will Rowan end up doing something stupid because her thirst has taken over? We shall see. I realize that I've been using a fair amount of cliffhangers in Penance, but it's such an easy work to put cliffhangers in because there's just so much happening. I hope you guys are hyped that the battle is only a short while away. Unfortunately, Rowan is getting no better at controlling her gift. Do you think she'll learn control in time for the battle? Let me know what you think in the comments!

Unfortunately, I'm rushing to put this part out for you (ie writing the author's note, I completed the actual chapter last night) so I don't have any time to reply to comments this time around. However, I'm so thankful for all of the responses I received on last chapter! I get so much motivation from them and it is so much fun to read your thoughts. So a big thanks to all of you who have taken the time to review.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Make sure to stay safe and healthy and I will chat with you all in the next update!