I ducked under Doyle's first attack, throwing my weight into his torso and sending him flying back into the wall. He snarled and pounced again, our fight a dangerous dance of fists and teeth. I ripped out a chunk of his shoulder and had nearly removed the arm entirely when Sam and Holt rejoined the fight.

The three of them combined were enough to finally overwhelm me, but not without another minute of frenzied fighting. It was the scent of blood that was my downfall; I made the mistake of looking towards my prey and they took the opportunity to restrain me.

"Take her arms," Doyle snarled, working to reattach the arm that was dangling limply from his shoulder.

Sam and Holt ripped my arms off at the shoulder in unison and I roared angrily, but the pain brought back a semblance of reason that prevented me from attempting to attack again.

"Bitch almost tore my arm off," Doyle growled, replacing the chunk of flesh that I had torn from his shoulder with my teeth. Sam and Holt were still holding me in place, though it was mostly needless considering I no longer had arms to grab them with.

"We've taken heads off for less," Sam said, ignoring how I hissed at him.

"Look at her eyes. Being forced to withstand her thirst will be punishment enough," Doyle said before whipping around towards the other newborns. "Against the wall! Or you're next and it won't just be your arms missing."

I was left in a painful, thirst-induced haze for the rest of control training. Either Sam or Holt hovered nearby in case I attempted to attack again, but the threat of losing my head was enough to keep me back. Having my arms ripped off was painful enough.

My lack of arms ensured that I didn't get a drop of blood from either human at the end, when the rest of the newborns went on a frenzy to drain what they could.

"Good luck reattaching your arms, Cullen," Doyle sneered, still furious at me.

I growled at him, stalking towards where my arms had been discarded in the corner of the room, my reason returning as Sam and Holt removed the bodies and rapidly cleaned the room. I felt incredibly foolish but there was nothing I could do to change my actions.

I was left alone in the now-empty room to awkwardly attempt to attach my arms. Hugo came looking for me ten minutes later, after I had finally managed to get my left arm on.

"Let me help," he said, carefully reattaching the other.

"Thanks," I said, flexing the fingers in my right hand as the feeling slowly returned to it. My other arm, which I had struggled to attach myself, felt wrong, and I couldn't move it. "I think I attached my left arm wrong."

Hugo moved back the rest of the tattered sleeve to look at it, a frown creasing his face. "It looks too far down. I think you'll have to take it off again to fix it, but I don't want to-"

"You don't have to," I assured him. "Let's see if we can find Maxim. He can do it since Caesar's conducting combat training right now"

"Okay," he said, clearly relieved. It was obvious he didn't want to do anything that would cause me pain even if it was necessary.

It was easy to track Maxim down once I picked up his scent, following the trail out to the border with Hugo close on my heels. He was alone and I just saw him in the trees, keeping watch.

"What are you doing out here?" He leapt down, landing lightly on the forest floor and striding over to us.

"I need a little help," I said, gesturing to my left arm. "I had to try to reattach it without any arms and it went wrong."

"Obviously," Maxim quipped, rolling back the remnants of my sleeve to get a better look. "What happened?"

"Slipped up in control training," I said, wincing as he carefully probed the juncture of my arm and shoulder.

"I knew Doyle was harsh, but I hadn't realized he was this heavy-handed," Maxim remarked. "I'm going to have to rip it off again and reattach it properly, though I'm sure you already realized this."

"I figured as much," I said. "I'm just thankful Doyle didn't decide to go with Sam's suggestion of taking my head, too. I've seen them do it before."

"It's almost like being unconscious after the initial pain fades," Hugo said. "But it hurts too much to be nice."

Maxim muttered something in a language I didn't recognize. "A certain measure of brutality is needed to keep vampires in line, but this level of savagery is almost unheard of. This treatment is usually reserved for criminals, not allies."

He ripped off my arm without warning and I let out a noise that was half yelp, half snarl. "Son of a bitch, Maxim! A little warning next time would be nice."

"Let's hope there's not a next time," he said, carefully aligning my arm with to my shoulder before returning my arm to its rightful place. "How does it feel now?"

My arm tingled as feeling returned. "Much better. Thank you."

"Any time," he said, smiling tightly at me. "You two should go."

"Right. See you at combat training," I said, placing a hand on Hugo's shoulder and nudging him lightly back towards the direction of the castle.

When Caesar found out what happened, he taught me how to properly reattach my limbs myself. That was a particularly painful, but necessary, training session.

"Hopefully you won't need it, but preparedness is better than foolish optimism," he said. "You're still a newborn and I won't be surprised if you lose control again."

I lost control again.

Three more times before my last feeding prior to the battle I found myself armless. Doyle was losing patience, but he seemed to know that forcing me to endure the scent of blood was far worse than beheading could ever be. The only silver lining was that I was not the only one to lose control as more and more eyes became black with thirst.

It was two days before the battle when I finally got to feed. It had been three weeks since my last official feeding and two since I had fed on our return journey from Volterra. According to Caesar, everyone's feeding had been suspended until the battle drew close, which lead to high tempers and brutal fights both in and out of the ring. I got my normal ration of one human, which was not nearly enough, and I felt uneasy knowing that I would not be entering this fight at full strength.

There was comfort in knowing that none of the others would be either. The only exceptions were those like Caesar and Doyle - in other words, those that Vladimir and Stefan liked. Hugo, too, was permitted to feed until his eyes were brighter red than I had ever seen them.

I was happy that his thirst was nonexistent, and I would gladly give Hugo my prey if it were between him or I going thirsty, but the more instinctual side of me could not help but be jealous.

My trainings with Caesar and Maxim were being held with increasing urgency as the battle loomed. My natural fighting ability meant that I could now hold my own against and occasionally best Caesar. But my control over my gift had gotten no better.

"Maxim," I said during our second-to-last session.

"I didn't call halt," he snapped, stressed. We were all stressed now, muscles as taut as wires.

"This is useless," I snapped back, waving my hand around at the rebellious shadows. "We have no more time, Maxim. We have ten more minutes today and an hour tomorrow. That's all. I have to control this."

"You don't think I know that?" he asked, folding his arms over his chest. "Can't you see I've been trying to protect you? Save you from having to suffer the full magnitude of my gift? But my hand is being forced. You're right. We're out of time."

"Whatever it takes, Maxim. That's what I've been telling myself ever since I decided to come here. And if that means experiencing your gift in its entirety, then so be it," I said.

"It is a pity I am cursed to feel your fear rather than your bravery," Maxim said. "Meet me here tomorrow morning at ten. In the flurry of activity before we are set to move from this place you will not be missed."

"Be missed?" I repeated.

Maxim smiled grimly. "What I will do to you will render you essentially unconscious for an extended period of time. I've only done this once before, and Deacon - the friend I told you about - was under for almost fifteen hours."

"The attack is set for sunrise. Will that give me enough time?" I asked anxiously.

"It should, but you'll have to hurry to make it. If you're late, well… it never hurts to make an entrance," he said.

I grinned. "I always have had a flair for the dramatics."

"And so the mystery of why you're mated to the kings has been solved," Maxim drawled.

"Ass," I laughed, bumping my shoulder against his. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, then."

"Make sure Caesar and Hugo are aware of the plan," Maxim said. "The three of us together should be enough to cover your absence. If not, they'll have to just assume you've defected."

"I'll have to warn our side, too, so they don't worry if I'm late to the party," I said thoughtfully.

"A wise idea. I would recommend not informing them why, however. Master Aro knows what my gift does and I feel he would react very poorly to me using it on you."

"That is not at all comforting," I said.

Maxim raised a brow. "And what I said earlier regarding my gift was?"

"A good point. Can't wait to find out how much tomorrow is going to suck for me," I said. "See you later, Maxim."

"Don't be late," was all he said in farewell.

The following day came too soon. I was very aware of the fact that the fate of the vampire world could be decided by this time tomorrow.

I could be reunited with the kings, or I could be dead.

"Do your best to stay out of the fighting," I coached Hugo ten minutes before I was set to meet Maxim. "When Vladimir and Stefan realize you've betrayed them, you'll become just as big a target as Jane or Alec, so you need to stay close to someone who can protect you. Caesar, Maxim, or someone from the Volturi. Do you remember Demetri and Santiago?"

Hugo nodded. "Si. There was another, too. Afton?"

"Him too. They're good choices along with any of my family. You'll be able to distinguish them by their golden eyes."

"I understand," Hugo said. "Once you get there-"

"Stay away from me. I doubt it'll take long for them to realize who I am, and once they do, I'll be their number one target. You're safest to stick with one of the others. They will protect you as best they can."

"Okay," Hugo said. He looked incredibly nervous.

I pulled him into a hug. "Hey, it'll be okay. We'll get through this."

"Promise?" he asked.

"I can't promise you that, Hugo, no matter how much I wish I could. But I can promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure we win this," I said seriously.

"Okay," he agreed softly.

"One more thing," I said, grasping his arms. "If you're being attacked and there's no way out, use your gift. I mean it. They are the enemy and will be trying to kill you. Burn them to ash."

Hugo nodded seriously. "I understand."

"Good. Be careful and be smart. I love you." I hugged him again.

"I love you too," he said, hugging me back tightly.

"Maxim will be getting your crest to you sometime today. Make sure it stays out of sight," I said. We had collectively agreed to postpone retrieving our crests as long as possible and Maxim was in charge of handing off Caesar's and Hugo's to their respective owners. I would be retrieving my own after the effects of Maxim's gift had lifted.

"I'll be careful," Hugo promised. "You be careful, too."

"I will be. See you soon, Hugo," I said, giving him one final squeeze before leaving his room for the last time.

The halls were a flurry of activity, and in the hubbub it was easy for me to slip into Hugo's training room unnoticed. Maxim hadn't yet arrived and I paced around the dark room while I waited, last minute battle plans running through my head.

Maxim entered a couple minutes after ten. His face was grim and more serious than normal. "Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," I said. "Look after Hugo for me, please. I've asked Caesar to do the same."

"Of course," he said. "I am sorry for what I am about to do."

I took a breath and squared my shoulders. "Don't apologize. It's what has to be done."

"That does not make it any less pleasant. Time to face your fears, Rowan," Maxim said, pressing two fingers to my forehead. Then I was falling, and the world dissolved.

My eyes snapped open to the sound of scraping, groaning metal. I was thrown forward, a seatbelt stopping me from being thrown out of the spinning car entirely. I was incredibly dizzy and my head ached. Everything was muffled.

Abruptly, the spinning stopped and my surroundings came into focus. For a second all I could hear was my heartbeat, pounding wildly in my chest. My brain felt foggy. I didn't even remember getting in the car, only waking up in it.

I pressed my fingers to my aching temple and pulled my hand away with my fingers coated in slick, red blood. Someone else was driving. My heart rose to my throat, fear and dread washing over me like a wave at the sight of a blonde head slumped against the steering wheel, unmoving.

My fingers shook as I unbuckled the seatbelt and scrambled forward. My fingers closed around her shoulder, staining her shirt with blood. I recognized her as my mother, even if I could not remember her name.

"Mom?" I croaked out, shaking her, pulling her back from the steering wheel. Blood flowed thick and fast from a gash in her neck and I cried out, pressing my hand against the wound to stem the flow of blood. "No, no, Mom. No, please! Please don't go. I can't lose you again."

Again? But that didn't make sense. I had not lost her yet. The pounding in my head increased as my hands were coated with blood that seemed wrong.

"Mom, please," I begged. Her eyes flickered open. Gold. Gold? That's not right. Those with golden eyes aren't supposed to die.

My head was splitting.

The blood is wrong. The golden-eyed don't have blood.

They drink it.

Everything froze in place. The bleeding stopped. There was no blood at all. Rosalie smiled at me.

And then there was nothing.

I woke up to my alarm. I felt as though I had just been roused from a very odd dream that I couldn't quite remember. It felt important. I wasn't sure why.

I could feel the radiating ache of bruises. The beating I received last night had been terrible, but it was not the worst that I had received. I sat up regardless.

"Turn off that damned alarm!" My father bellowed, slamming open the door to my room. His blue eyes flashed angrily and I fumbled to shut off the incessant beeping.

"Sorry," I squeaked, flinching away as he stepped forward. "It won't happen again."

He slapped me and I bit my busted lip to keep from whimpering. "See that it doesn't. If breakfast isn't ready in twenty minutes you'll be eating nothing today or tomorrow."

"Yes, sir," I said, changing from my pajamas into tattered day clothes and making a beeline for the kitchen. Everything was as it had been last night, and yet… everything felt off. A needle-sharp pain sliced behind my eyes.

I made pancakes and eggs. Quick and easy. He only complained that his egg was too runny, and I got off easy with a harsh kick to my shin.

"Get me a beer," he called. I paused in my clean-up efforts to open the fridge, bringing him what he requested. Even if it was only nine in the morning.

"Cigarette, too?" I asked.

He stared at me. "You stupid or something? I don't smoke."

"Right," I mumbled. He didn't smoke. I don't know why I felt like he did. I dimly remembered him pressing a cigarette butt into my skin and pain pounded in my head. I checked my arms. There were scars, but none of them were burns.

I scampered back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up. I mused over the odd not-memory while I worked. It was the only thing to focus on besides the headache that pounded behind my temples.

I worked on homework in between fetching my father more alcohol. It was easier than I remembered it being. My headache seared when I thought too much into that, so I focused on finishing the three remaining math problems.

"Rowan!" My father bellowed. Nothing good ever came from a tone like that, but I knew better than to ignore him. That just made the pain worse. Fear squeezed at me as I slunk into the living room.

He grabbed me around the neck, slamming me into the wall. Alcohol was rank on his breath. "I should kill you like you did your mother. Slash the neck. Quick, at least. More than you deserve."

Very quick. He could even do it with his teeth. After all, I had-

Wait.

This is all wrong.

I remember blood in my mouth. His blood.

I had ripped out his throat.

My father is dead.

I killed him.

He cannot hurt me anymore.

My father crumpled to the ground like a puppet whose strings were cut. His neck was mangled from where I had torn it out. I had a sudden recollection of what was going on. Maxim-

There was nothing.

"Stay still," Doyle spat. My vision cleared as Xander returned my sight. I was in the throne room, where I had been shoved roughly to my knees. "Traitor. You deserve every ounce of what you're about to get."

"Bring them in," Stefan drawled, malice glittering in his eyes.

I looked desperately around, struggling against Doyle's hold. Sam moved to help Doyle and together they kept me in place. Holt stood nearby, restraining Hugo with a vice-like grip. The room was bright, much brighter than it had ever been before. The shadows it contained were weak.

No way out.

"Did you really think you would win?" Vladimir sneered. Everything seemed to freeze in place when I saw them; the kings, my mates, rendered powerless in the hands of the Romanians. Xander's gift was clearly at work.

"Romanian bastards, marcisci all'inferno," Caius snarled, struggling against the five guards that restrained him. "Do not touch her! I will rip you all apart!"

"I'm afraid, Caius, that you are in no position to tell us what we can and cannot do," Stefan purred, brushing my hair away from my shoulders. I snapped my teeth at him, narrowly missing his wrist. "We are the kings now. Not you."

Marcus threw off his captors with an angered roar, holding his own even without his sight.

"Idiots," Vladimir spat, waving his men aside and pouncing on Marcus himself. I struggled harder, cursing and spitting with rage as Vladimir gained the upper hand.

"Hope you said goodbye," Stefan cackled as Vladimir ripped off Marcus' head. "Hugo, light him. Or Rowan dies."

Caius broke free as Hugo, frightened and shaking with dry sobs, did as he was ordered. Caius ripped off the heads of three guards before Vladimir once again stepped in, at an advantage solely due to Xander's gift.

"You've always been a pain in my ass. Don't think I didn't know it was you that lit our castle ablaze," Vladimir said, and I finally broke free of my captors as Caius' head was torn from his shoulders.

My vision disappeared and I was left in darkness, the sort I could never control, and all of Caesar's training could not prevent me from being overwhelmed and once more forced to my knees.

"Hugo," Stefan said once my vision returned, voice deceptively soft.

"Hugo, no!" I screamed. Too late. Caius' ashes joined Marcus'.

"Aro. The near-omniscient king," Stefan spat. "Or so you painted yourself. Look at you now. Your fellow kings are dead. Your mate is in my grasp."

Aro snarled at him, lunging forward against his guards. He was easily restrained. "Kill me, I do not care. But if you harm her-"

"And how will you stop me? You'll be dead. Not to worry, I'll be sure to show you everything I plan on doing to your lovely little mate before I kill you," Stefan leered. "You could have prevented this. This never would have happened if not for one tiny oversight. You trusted your guard too much."

"Maxim," Vladimir said. All of my thoughts seemed to grind to a halt as Maxim walked into view, steps slow and deliberate. "You were so kind to send him to us, Aro. So very kind."

"Maxim?" I whispered.

He looked at me impassively. "You could not have truly believed I was happy within the Volturi, could you? Then again, I suppose you could. I can be quite convincing when I need to be. And with you so desperate for help… well, I would be lying if I said it was difficult to persuade you that I was on your side."

"But Caesar-"

"Caesar," Maxim said, tone gloating, "has been under my thumb this entire time. Oh, he came close to realizing. But I'm always underestimated and it was easy to play his fears to my advantage. There was so much to work with."

"I trusted you!" I shouted, the ache in my chest so fierce I longed to feel nothing at all.

"Not one of your smartest moments, I agree."

"And so the long reign of the Volturi is over," Stefan said, gripping Aro's hand with a twisted smile. "See what is to become of your mate, Aro? Even death would be sweeter than what I have planned for her."

Aro roared, a furious sound that rattled my very bones. There was only a brief struggle before Stefan and his guards regained control. Vladimir smirked as Stefan slowly pulled off Aro's head. "Welcome to the new age."

They didn't wait for Hugo this time. Instead Vladimir lowered the torch as I screamed, breaking free again only for my arms to be ripped off.

"Tsk, tsk," Stefan said, sauntering towards me. "That's no way to act. Your kings are slayed. You're mine now. Just think: if Aro had been a little wiser, if you hadn't tricked Afton into abandoning his post, if Edward hadn't let you escape Italy… none of this would have happened. Your involvement is my favorite part, you know. It has made things delightfully interesting."

I furrowed my brow. Something about what he said was wrong.

How did Stefan know that I saw Edward?

Caesar and Hugo hadn't mentioned it to Maxim. Neither had I. So how…

Something niggled at the back of my mind, something important, even as pain seared behind my eyes.

"How did you know about that?" I asked.

Stefan seemed caught almost by surprise at the question. "Know about what?"

"Edward."

"Maxim told me, of course. That is the point of a spy," Stefan said.

"Who told Maxim?"

"I don't know," Stefan snapped, irritated now.

My eyes slid back towards the ashes of the kings. My throat was tight with grief. But surely the bond would-

The bond.

The bond.

Feeling burst in my chest as the bond came alight, vibrant and so very alive.

"You're a coward," I spit at Stefan. The kings were alive and that was enough. I did not need them to save me. "You are a coward and I am not afraid of you."

"Your mates are dead! They are no longer here to protect you. Coward or not, you should fear me."

I laughed as the room darkened. "Newsflash, asshole. I don't need anyone to protect me. I am my own savior. You are nothing more than a coward. And you are going to die."

One by one, the lights were snuffed out.

There was nothing but shadow and then there was nothing at all.

It was dark when I jolted awake. Moonlight trickled in my open window from a thin crescent moon, chasing away the last hazy fragments of a nightmare. Even as I focused on what was left, they slipped from my grasp. I only remembered the fear that went with it.

I could hear stumbling footsteps down the hall and felt terror jolt through me. I ran to the closet, my hiding spot. "Rowan!" My father yelled, voice slurred. "I wan' to see you!"

I pulled the closet door shut. My hands were trembling. I wanted to hide. The shadows would hide me, they always had. My bedroom door slammed open as I called the darkness to me.

There was no answer.

I was frantic now. The shadows had always answered. They had always protected me as best they could. Please please please-

The closet door snapped open and my father grabbed me. "There you are."

He threw me against the foot of the bed. I flexed my fingers, calling the shadows again. Desperate.

"You can't hide from me, girl!" He kicked me.

I curled into myself, a sob bubbling up in my throat. The shadows were always there for me. They always helped when I needed them. My father kicked me again and again. Tears streamed down my face.

I needed the shadows. They obey me.

I pushed myself up. Determination swirled.

The shadows do not control me. They are not in charge.

I am.

My father hurls threats and kicks me again, but I am no longer afraid.

I call for the shadows.

They answer. They crash over me.

There is nothing but shadow.

I am the shadows.

The shadows are me.

We are one.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ V ⋅.} ────── ⊰

There was a big time skip in this chapter. You know what that means. Next chapter marks the start (and possibly the end, I'm not sure yet) of the long-awaited battle. This chapter was a MONSTER and I was planning on splitting it in half but I figured I would just give it to you guys in its entirety, so I hope you enjoyed it. Rowan has leveled up and if you haven't figured out by now that I accidentally made Maxim super OP then you never will.

I'm sure you guys are as excited about the battle as I am so I hope to have it out for you soon(ish). Thanks to all who commented on the past chapter, I appreciate you guys so much! So without further ado, here's a couple responses to last chapter's reviews:

HannahStewart-chan: Your observation that my characters do something stupid because that's my writing style is both downright hilarious and absolutely correct. Hopefully Maxim's gift helped her reign in her fears and instincts so she can control her gift. But only time will tell. Also, I really hope you understand the power you've given me with your thoughts about the battle. :) Thank you for reviewing! 3

interceptor1997: I had never thought of that before but I absolutely love your theory. I think it explains away SM's plotholes in a believable way (and mine LOL). I think the upbringing of a vampire newborn definitely affects their control though really the reason Rowan didn't complain about thirst in the castle is because it was nighttime so most of the human staff was gone. At least I don't THINK I mentioned any humans in that chapter... anyway thanks for reviewing!

Well, I'm tired out from a busy week and writing an extra long chapter, so I'll leave you to think about the coming battle! Hope you all are safe, happy, and healthy!