Standing just outside to the entrance to the Great Hall, I shivered in excitement. Here I was, back at Hogwarts, and this time, I would do things right. Soon, i would be sorted, and I would be able to start my work of turning Slytherin into something good and worthwhile, rather than the house that everyone hated and reviled. Before I could get to that, however, I would be forced to deal with the wild imaginations of a bunch of eleven-year-olds.
"George told me that we'd have to wrestle a troll." I managed to stop myself from rolling my eyes at Weasley's nonsensical declaration, but only just. Really, a troll?
"It's nothing quite so boorish as that, Weasley. All we have to do is put on a hat." I drawled, making the kid jump about ten feet in the air. I snickered at the response; it seemed he was already becoming wary around me.
"And what would you know, Malfoy? Or did your parents let it slip while they were teaching you dark magic?" I flicked my gaze around the crowd of ickle firsties that had surrounded us before raising an eyebrow at the ginger.
"Seriously? We're going for stereotypes already? I suppose we know which house you'll end up in. Of course, that was obvious enough. You're already sporting Gryffindor colors." I smirked as the crowd around us echoed with giggles. Yep, Weasley was already going red, although I wasn't certain whether it was out of embarrassment or anger.
"Yeah, well, at least I won't be a slimy snake!" He yelled, and I was forced to chuckle at his childishness. Before I could continue to pound the child verbally, however, McGonagall returned from preparing the Great Hall for our entrance, and I smiled, glad that I would no longer have to deal with him. We entered the hall in a mass of young bodies, and I took a moment to admire the sight, which before my death and subsequent rebirth, I had never thought to see again.
In the air, there were hundreds of floating candles, and below them were hundreds of students to match. The ceiling, as well, was quite awe-inspiring, even after seven years of viewing it before. It was enchanted to look like the sky outside, and at the moment it portrayed a clear night sky, with stars glittering. As we trooped down the rows between tables, whispers spread throughout the student-lined tables. I already knew what most of them would be; Most were unsure of whether Harry would actually be coming to Hogwarts, and nearly every eye in the hall, aside from Dumbledore and McGonagall, was scanning the crowd, hoping to catch sight of the elusive Boy Who Lived.
I ignored the start of the ceremony as McGonagall set the hat out and it started to sing. I had heard it all before, and wasn't interested. Instead, I kept an eye on those around me, and their various reactions. Most, as expected, were awed by their surroundings, although a few-likely Purebloods- were looking at the ragged hat with some measure of disgust. I didn't however, remembering vividly how it had allowed Neville Longbottom to retrieve the sword of Gryffindor and slay Voldemort's prized snake. It may look dirty and useless, but it was certainly a powerful magical object.
Finally, the wretched song was over, and we had moved onto the actual sorting of the students. I watched with only slight interest. I knew where most would go, but… I had already changed things by destroying the Golden Trio. By this point, I was determined not to be surprised by anything I might have messed with. Luckily, that didn't seem to be the case… until Hermione was called up.
XXX
"Ah, hello child. You are an interesting one."
"Oh, thank you!"
"You are welcome. Now, where should I put you? You have a sharp mind, that is for certain. And no small amount of bravery either… Oh, and a great deal of ambition too, it would seem."
"Ambition? WHat do you mean?"
"Ohoho, you don't know? You are planning to keep the son of James Potter out of trouble. If that's not ambitious, I don't know what is. And you have quite the hidden bit of deviousness to you as well."
"I am not devious!"
"Oh? What was it you said about that poor boy on the train again? 'Throw him to the fans?' No, no, I am a great judge of character-was designed to be- and you most certainly have the sort of razor sharp wit old Salazar would practically be slavering to possess."
"But what about Ravenclaw? I love knowledge. And I've always believed in the sanctity of rules and education."
"That you have, child, but not necessarily to the degree you tell yourself. No, I sense that you are one who greatly enjoys winning, and will place it above knowledge or obedience if it came down to it. And the best place for that kind of person is most definitely Slytherin!"
XXX
My jaw dropped as I heard the Sorting Hat call out Hermione's house. What in Merlin's hairy ball sack? Hermione Granger was not just sorted into Slytherin. No way no how, I wasn't going to believe it. She was a muggleborn for Merlin's sake!
Sadly, it seemed, I would be forced to believe it, if the bushy-haired witch setting the hat back on its stool and calmly making her way over to the table filled with green and silver robes was any indication. At least I wasn't the only one who couldn't believe either their eyes or ears. Practically all of the purebloods in the room, of every house and year, were staring with wide-open mouths. Sure, they were more surprised that a muggleborn had just been sorted into Slytherin, which was entirely unheard of, rather than the fact that Hermione Granger, bloody queen of following the rules, was now a Slytherin.
I was so caught up in wondering whether I was somehow dreaming that I nearly missed it when McGonagall called me up to be sorted. It was only when she had to call a second time that i recognized my surroundings and shook myself. Okay, Artemis, I thought to myself. You can do this. Maybe… maybe it's not all that bad. And hey, if the hat decides to place you in Gryffindor, or Hufflepuff, you can just burn the bloody thing, Ceremony be damned. With that pleasant thought in mind, I made my unsteady way up to the stool, gingerly taking the ragged Hat from an annoyed looking McGonagall and placing it on top of my head.
"Oho, what have we here? A time traveler, eh?"
"Spout that fact and i will burn you."
"Oh, no need to worry about that, I am bound to keep any and all secrets I may discover. Now, onto the Sorting. Where should I place you?
"Slytherin, of course."
"Are you certain? I can see that I placed you there once before, and it failed you spectacularly. Maybe another house would be more prudent this time around."
"No, don't. I… I want to do better this time."
"Better?"
"Yes, better. You saw my potential before. Hell, you barely had to touch my head to decide, but i was an ignorant, pompous brat and squandered it. Let me fix that mistake. Let me be the Slytherin you knew I could be.
"Well, you make a good argument, at least. Perhaps you do deserve a second chance in Slytherin!" With a grin, I set the hat down, before running to the familiar table of Green and Silver. It was odd, very odd, to sit beside a clapping Hermione, who looked incredibly foreign with the green edging that had appeared on her robes, but I managed to push it aside. I'd already been turned into a girl, after all. Surely i could manage a Slytherin Granger... Dear Merlin, it wasn't a dream. This really was my life now.
XXX
"Potter, Harry!"
"Hello, Hat."
"Oh, a polite one, are you? Or are you making fun of my name?"
"Why, I'd never! Merely your existence, of course."
"Ah, yes, you are most certainly your Father's son. Ever possessed of a quick quip, that one."
"Does that mean I'll be going to Gryffindor, then?"
"Not necessarily. No, your father's brashness has also been tempered by your mother's calm intellect. As well as you could do there, I don't believe it would fit you quite right."
"Hmm, I suppose you have a point there. Plus, everyone expects me to be in Gryffindor anyways. It'd be a brilliant prank to go somewhere else."
"A prank, you say. It would certainly be that. And you do have a great deal of ambition, as well. A prankster to live up to even your father's legacy? Yes, that would be quite the feat."
"Look closer, Hat. I don't just want to live up to whatever standard my Father may have left. One thing i've learned during my time at the Dursley's is that if you're going to do something, you don't do it by half. I'm going to shake the very foundations of this school, and become the greatest prankster the Wizarding World has ever known!"
"My, my, such passion, and all from just earlier today? You certainly don't hold back from anything you set your heart to, do you? Yes, I think you'll do just fine in Slytherin!"
XXX
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
"Um, Artemis? Are you alright?" I glanced up from where I was currently beating my head against the Slytherin table to glare at Hermione, whose face was furrowed in concern.
"No, Granger, I'm not alright. My entire world-view was just shattered, so I would thank you kindly to leave me to mourn it in the privacy of my own mind." I hardly even realized that I had slipped into calling her by her last name, so scattered were my thoughts at the moment. I should have expected it, really. How could I not, when the world was obviously trying to screw with my head as it was. Harry bloody Potter being sorted into Slytherin wasn't all that surprising by the standards of the rest of the day, but sadly, my poor, naive belief that my life might retain some sense of normality despite being reborn, as a girl no less, didn't care about that.
"You're talking all posh and fancy again. Either something's wrong, or you're telling a joke." My eyes shifted to the side in annoyance, but Potter ignored the glare as he sat down on my other side, looking all too smug with that damning green trim on his robes.
"Shove it, Potter. I'm not in the mood." The raven-haired boy eyed me for a second, before letting out a short chuckle.
"The latter then. Pray tell, what is the matter?" I flicked my gaze between the two Gryffindors-turned-Slytherin, eyes narrowing as i absorbed their demeanors. Granger, as absurd as the thought was, was looking at me with clear concern in her eyes, a frown marring her preteen face. Potter, at least, was trying to put on a facade of amusement, but even that was for my sake. I could see the tension in his stance, as he appeared ready to run at the first sign of true hostility. Dammit, I was about an inch from scaring him off.
"I… well… I just didn't expect you two, of all people, to be Slytherins." I said lamely. "In fact, if it weren't for Death's horrible sense of humor and his insatiable need to inflict it upon others, I'm sure you would be sitting somewhere over there," I waved my hand in the vague direction of the Gryffindor table, "instead of over here."
"And what do you mean by that? The us not being Slytherin bit, not that thing about Death, whatever that's about." I gave Hermione an annoyed look. Of course she would catch onto the comment about Death. I could already see her filing it away for later use, but right now there were more important things to worry about.
"I mean, look at you. Hermione Granger, the queen of bookworms and teacher's pets," I replied, pointing a finger at the muggleborn witch, before turning it to the boy beside her. "And Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. Need I say more?" Aggravatingly, or perhaps fortunately, Harry didn't seem offended by the reference to his title, although I didn't mean it in quite the same way most would. In fact, he appeared triumphant if anything.
"But that's the point, isn't it? Everyone expects me to go into Gryffindor, so being a Slytherin is the best prank ever." he gloated, and against my will, a small smile slid over my features. Damn, but he was insatiable. Why, by all that was holy, did I have to introduce him to pranking?
After that, we fell silent, having noticed that the Sorting was starting to come to an end. Luckily, it seemed that Death had decided to give my increasingly fragile hold on sanity a break, and Weasley ended up in his proper house of Gryffindor. Either that, or the boy was just too much of one to ever make it into Slytherin, even with the intervention of a god. I don't think I would've been able to accept that, no matter what reasons were given. The Sorting Ceremony wrapped up pretty much how I remembered, and Dumbledore got up to give his annoying little 'show', saying nonsense words to as a secret message to the Hogwarts House Elves to bring up the feast. After a few glances to each other, which told me that while Harry and Hermione may have put my comments behind them for now, they still weren't entirely done with me yet, we started to dig in. I was just reaching for a bowl of mashed potatoes, however, when the festive air suddenly came crashing down, starting with Theodore Nott opening his fat mouth.
WHat do you think you're doing here, Granger? You don't belong in Slytherin." Instantly, everyone within earshot were looking at the boy, who was sporting a nasty sneer. For a moment, I had to resist rolling my eyes up to glare at the sky. Really, Death? Nott? Don't you fucking dare do what I think you're going to. Sadly, it seemed, the aggravating deity wasn't in the office, as Nott continued to speak. "You shouldn't be here. You're nothing but a dirty Mudblood-"
Thunk.
"Your mother must very disappointed, Nott, to know she raised a child so ignorant of common courtesy. The proper term, since you appear to be unaware, is muggleborn." All the eyes at Slytherin table, including the higher years and even a few from the nearby Ravenclaw table, were staring at me… or rather, at the fork I had embedded in the wooden table, right between Nott's splayed fingers. The boy himself, who had suddenly gone pale at the act, tried to match my glare, but was soon reduced to sputtering.
"W-what do you think you're doing, Malfoy? You can't just threaten me like that!" Conscious of our observers, i allowed a very slow, predatory smile stretch my lips, relishing in the scent of fear as Nott tried desperately to keep from soiling his drawers. Time to keep my promise to the Hat.
"I'm a Malfoy, Nott. I can, and will, do whatever I please. Unless, of course," With a smooth and well practiced movement, i flicked my wand out of its wrist holster and held it low to the table, obscuring the piece of wood from the sight of the staff, even as I pointed it directly at the brat who had dared to insult my friends. "You'd like to settle this in a more… formal manner." Then, just as the boy's rage and fear were at their peak and mixing in a dangerous cocktail that might just have given him the audacity to challenge me, I released a tightly controlled burst of magic to bring it crashing down. Lucky that I was careful, too, because the burst was a lot stronger than I had expected. If I hadn't been carefully moderating it, i may have just upended the entirety of Slytherin's tableware, rather than the small but noticeable tremor i actually produced.
"...Fine, whatever. I never took you for a blood-traitor Malfoy." I smirked at the pathetic attempt to insult me. Try as he might, Nott couldn't hide the slight shaking in his voice, even if his pureblood training kept him from showing any other signs of defeat.
"And i never took you for a coward, Nott, but it appears we shall both suffer disappointment tonight." In an obvious sign of dismissal, I turned away from the boy to return to my meal. A moment later, however, I was distracted once again by a slight tapping on my arm.
"Um, thank you for defending me, Artemis, even if you don't think I should be here either. It was...nice of you." Setting down my fork, since I obviously wasn't going to be getting a decent meal tonight, I released a heavy sigh, before turning to Hermione with an apologetic expression.
"Look, Hermione, it's not that I don't think you should be in Slytherin. I just wasn't aware the you could be, that's all. I'm sorry if I insulted you, and that goes for you as well, Harry." My heart nearly melted at the sight of Hermione's face suddenly becoming grateful, but Harry just waved the apology away, a brilliant grin once again gracing his face.
"Don't worry about it, i know it's just part of your charm. You're a weird one, Artemis, but then so am I, and Hermione too for that matter. We're probably the only ones who can handle you anyways. Why do you think I want us to be friends?" Smiling, i nodded at him,l even as inside I turned warm and fuzzy. He wanted to be friends?
"Exactly right. And that's why there's no need to thank me, Hermione. Friends look out for each other, right?" The girl didn't look so sure of that, but after a moment of biting her lip, she nodded, and I broke out into a full-fledged smile. "Well, then, now that that's settled. Who want's to hear my idea for a prank?"
XXX
Alright, and there that one is as well. I know, I should probably be working on my other stories, but right now this is the only one I can get to work for me, so sorry for that. Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and don't forget to review! See ya!