"You, queen Elsa. All he does is speak to you."
Needless to say, after all the commotions and greetings, when the queen and the loving couple were finally alone in their personal quarters, Kristoff explained the entirety of the bizarre conversation that took place between him and Franz, this time bringing Anna into the fold as well. And while Elsa's initial reaction was mostly just confusion and pity, trying to figure out what to make of this new and strange information, princess Anna on the other hand was just as confused but also angered, anger which was directed at the man in question.
"That creep, even in prison he's still stuck on Elsa and Arrendelle's throne." Anna said with a deep frown on her face, as the three sat in her room, before a burning fireplace.
"Well, from what I was told by his brother, it's not the throne he's stuck on, it's just Elsa." Kristoff spoke trying to calm his wife's temper.
"It's the same thing, Kristoff! Elsa is basically the physical embodiment of the throne of Arrendelle! And if he's cooking up more devious schemes about Elsa, it's only because he wants our home, that traitorous snake!" All the while Anna was getting more and more riled up, Kristoff was trying to calm her down, putting his hands on her shoulder as the two sat on a large couch. While the queen herself sat on a chair, eyes focused on the burning embers, lost in her own thoughts.
She couldn't escape the thoughts that had been plaguing her ever since Kristoff revealed his conversation. Every time she blinked, every time she closed her eyes, in the darkness she would only see the face of the traitor. But not as she remembered him, not him as a proud and spoiled prince with his sword high up in the sky ready to strike at her defenseless form. No she remembered his face from the time he confronted her in her ice palace, the concern with which he looked at her, the way he tried to protect her against the men who wanted to kill her then and there, and more importantly, every time she closed her eyes, she could hear his words ringing in her ears, words that meant so much more to her then she could ever tell anybody.
"Don't be the monster they fear you to be."
Not her father, her mother or even Anna had ever said something that made her see things so clearly and plainly. She had been ready to do whatever it took to defend her castle, even if it meant killing those men in cold-blood, and she was going to do it. But then he intervened and in a few short words he stopped her and made her realize just what kind of a mistake she was about to make. And no matter how much she may hate him for what he tried to do, that action of his would always stop her from giving into complete hatred for him. It was why she never ordered for his execution, even if most people in her kingdom urged her to do so, for the sake of revenge.
Some part of her, somewhere deep down inside the most tiniest nook and cranny of her heart, she felt that there was much more to Hans Westergaard then what the world saw of him.
And now, hearing his own brother's words, that he was slowly losing his sanity, it brought more sorrow then anger because in her heart she knew, she knew that nobody deserved a fate like that, not even someone like Hans.
"I think it's sad."
"What!?" Elsa's words stopped the arguing couple in their track as their faces turned towards the queen who was still staring at the fire. Anna thought she had misheard but on second thought she realized she hadn't, her sister had actually said those words.
"What? Why is it so strange to feel sorrow at a revelation like this?" The queen turned to the two with a questioning look on face.
"Maybe because this is Hans we're talking about? You know the guy who tried to takeover our home, who left me for dead in the library not far from here, who lied to you and almost killed you, do you remember none of that?" Anna asked with a frown on her lips, a bit irritated at how her sister was reacting. She had thought Elsa would've shared her sentiments on this matter, considering she suffered just like her at that man's hands.
"I haven't, Anna. I know what he has done, and I am not trying to defend him in any way. I know he's not a good person but that still doesn't mean that I won't feel bad about another human going through such torment. And besides, it's not like me feeling like this is going to change anything. He deserves to be in prison, and me feeling like this isn't going to change that." Elsa tried to explain her feelings in a way that wouldn't anger her sister, because she knew that no matter how much agony Hans caused her, it was so much more for Anna. She thought he was her first love, and to be betrayed like that in such cold-blood, she couldn't blame her sister for her feelings.
"Still...I don't want you to start pitying him just because of what has happened. Keep in mind that he brought this on himself, nobody forced him to do what he did and I think he deserves what is happening to him." Anna said in a moody tone as she stood up and started walking towards the door. "I'm tired from my travels, I'll see you tomorrow, Elsa, good night."
Elsa could sense that Anna was still a bit angry and annoyed at her words, and she knew that no matter what she said, she wouldn't sway her sister's mind from this topic. She let out a tired sigh as she watched her sister leave the room, with her husband bidding the queen 'good night' and following his wife, not wanting to cause any more arguments.
Once they had both left, Elsa sat quietly in the dark fire-lit room, again thinking about the man who was currently in a prison far away from Arrendelle. She couldn't figure out why but there was such a burning need inside her that made her want to see the man one more time with her own eyes. And even though she knew there was a way to do just that, she was also afraid of what would happen if she did.
'I'll just have a quick look, nothing more. Anna won't even find out. She doesn't even though something like that exists. Just to sate my curiosity, nothing more.'
She tried to convince herself as she stood up and started walking in the way her sister had went. As she stepped out of the room, she found herself in the dark quiet corridors of her castle. She couldn't help but feel a bit scared and nervous because of what she was about to do. Slowly walking through the castle, the only light came through the moon, beaming through the large windows. The only sounds came from the wolves roaming in the forests, and the faint voices of conversations from the occupied rooms.
After a short while, the queen found herself standing before the door of the room that once belonged to her parents. Even though she was the queen now, which meant the room belonged to her, she never once tried to sleep there. Just the eerie stillness and quietness of the room was enough to send shivers down her spine and give her goosebumps.
With a small deep breath, Elsa turned the doorknob and pushed forward.
As she entered the dark room, lit bright because of the moon, she forced herself not to look at the large empty bed knowing it would only cause her more nightmares and bad thoughts. She quietly walked to the large wardrobe that once belonged to her mother. With very little force she opened it, and for a second her breath caught up in her throat at the sight of all the dresses that were once worn by her dear mother. They had been left exactly the way she had left them, Elsa herself had ordered the maids not to touch anything in this room and wanted it to be left the same way her parents left it. She quickly wiped a few tears that were about to escape her eyes, and immediately turned her attention to the small drawer at the bottom of the wardrobe.
She bent down and slowly opened it to reveal her mother's jewelry and combs that she used for herself and her daughters. But those were not what Elsa wanted, her attention was caught by a small mirror that was placed next to a few rings and necklaces. As she picked it, she remembered the words her parents had told her about it.
It was during one of her father's conquest in France, her mother had told her that the king had led his army through the country and stopped in a small town. There the king had met a frail old woman by the name of Belle. Elsa was told that her father had seen a group of thugs trying to rob her as she was leaving her bookstore and immediately stepped in to stop them and help her.
The old woman had asked his name and who he was. After he had told her of his identity, she had given him this mirror. She told him that the mirror was enchanted and possessed magical properties. When her father returned, he had given the mirror to his wife as a gift. Little Elsa remembered asking her mother how a mirror could be magical, her mother had smiled and just turned to the mirror and spoke her father's name.
She still remembered the sheer shock and excitement that grew on her face when she saw the mirror glow and suddenly she could see her father, who was not anywhere in the room with them but in the throne room talking with his councilmen. Her mother had then told her that this mirror could show you anyone and anything you name. She had also told her daughter that she could never tell anyone about this mirror, not even Anna as the mirror was an extremely valuable object and in the wrong hands could be very dangerous. And so, she had kept another secret from her dear sister.
As Elsa stood up with the mirror in her trembling hands, she could feel her heart pounding loudly. Her throat had gotten dry and it was becoming hard just to speak out the name of the man she wanted to see.
"S-Show me...Show me Hans Westergaard." Her voice came out soft and unsure, but it was enough. In a second, the mirror started to glow a deep green colors around the frame, and the glass that was gray before suddenly dispelled like smoke, and just like that she could see the man who betrayed her clear as day.
But the moment her eyes fell on the 13th prince of the southern isles, her eyes widened with sudden tears as a sharp gasp left her lips.
"Oh Hans...What have they done to you?"
Have you ever experienced the feeling of wanting two completely opposite things at once? Your heart being torn in two different directions, wanting one thing but then also wanting something completely different. Well that was what the former prince of the southern isles felt, as he laid a broken heap in a small cell, fresh bruises alighting his frail body after one of his brother visited him. Years old clothes ripped and torn from different places, feeling his fractured ribs poking his internal organs everytime he breathed, and every breath coming out in a deep wheeze.
At that moment, Hans felt that feeling of wanting two different things at once. At that moment, Hans desperately wished some miracle would take place and he would be allowed the chance to escape this Hel and run away. But he also wished that some kind of miracle would take place and his heart would just stop beating once and for all and release him from this cursed place for good.
He was so tired of all of it. The beatings, the torture, the starvation, the smell, the damned voices and nightmares! He was just...….exhausted. Each night he would fall asleep, and each night he wished it would be his last, but his damned body. It wouldn't give up, and with the sun he would wake up again, prepared for another day of torment. His tormentors were clever, whenever they had their fun with him, they deliberately avoided the more fatal spots and just opted for places that would hurt, they never wounded him in places that could lead to him dying in this dirty cell.
"Gugh!" Convulsing with pain, he pushed his weak arms against the floor as he struggled to get up from the stony ground. But the moment he pushed himself to his knees, he violently convulsed as he released what little food he had in him, mostly just water and dry bread. What little energy he had, it left him like that, leaving him completely drained of everything. When he tried to get back up again, he realized he could not even move his legs.
"Move! You useless things! MOVE!" He yelled and cursed his own weak body, trying to stand on his feet, but after a few seconds realized both legs were numb because of the weakness in his body. Feeling the simmering rage boiling up once again, he dragged his body against the floor and just pushed himself against the wall, giving up trying to get on the stony slab that was his bed. He let out a sigh as he rested his head back against the floor, just the voice of his own labored breaths filling the small cell. The small window in the top corner of the cell allowed the moonlight to peak through providing what little light it could on the broken man.
He was thankful at that moment. Thankful for the moment of quiet and stillness he was provided. When there were no torturers, no faces in the dark and no voices in his head. Just him and nothing else. But in times like this, his mind went to those who were on the outside. Those who were out there in the world, living their lives, while he was in here withering away day by day. Rotting a little bit more with each passing day, losing more and more of himself. With eyes closed, his mind went to a being on the outside that he knew was also waiting for him.
Oh how he wished he could be given the chance to ride his dear Sitron one more time. The only true friend he had ever had in his whole life. His strong stallion, his first and only pet. Who he had grown up with. On days when the life inside the castle would be too much to handle, when the tricks were too cruel for him to bear, he would run. He would run away to his friend. Together they would run through the thick forests of the kingdom, trying to get as far away from the castle as he could. Nowadays he wished he had just took Sitron then and just left, instead of clinging to the hope that perhaps one day his family would see his worth and treat him as someone of value. That perhaps his father would show him the compassion he showed his older sons, or his mother would love him as she loved the others, or even his brother, how they had this strong comradery among them, he hoped one day he would have the same thing.
But that hope had slowly burned away like a small lit candle bearing against a strong gale. It was never meant to survive and grow into something more. Just like his life, it had grown smaller and smaller until nothing but only contempt remained. Contempt for those he was connected to by blood, contempt for those who never gave him any respect, contempt for the world for being so unfair.
And now, those feelings of rage and hatred and contempt also extended to places beyond the southern isles. Far across the oceans and seas, in the kingdom of Arrendelle, a place where he had hoped he could find his place. With his fists clenching in frustration, he thought back to the people of that land, the people who he had helped during their times of trouble. He had given them shelter, food and security when they nobody else was there.
Yet, instead of supporting him when he faced adversity, they had thrown all his good deeds away and had sided with the very witch who almost froze the entire kingdom. They had forgiven her in an instant and yet he was never once shown the same courtesy. Why!? Why was he deprived of a second chance and not the queen?
Was it because he didn't have a crown? Was it because he didn't have any family or any brothers with him to support him? No, they never gave him a second chance, because they like all the else had willingly blinded themselves and accepted the fact that he was nothing but trash, a useless object that could be easily thrown away after being used up.
"Do you need a hand, prince Hans?"
His faced snapped towards the door as he heard that familiar soft voice, there she stood once again, dressed in a pale blue gown, her hair let loose against her shoulder and the crown adorning her head, looking just as magnificent as the day he tried to kill her. He didn't know why he had started imagining her day in and out. Before there were many different people from his life that would come before him, all those that had wronged him. But for weeks now, all he saw was her and all he heard was her voice.
And by Odin, she looked so real. He knew this was another one of his mind's delusions, he knew this was his mind falling apart, piece by piece and yet, it looked like she was just within his reach.
"E-Elsa?" Her name came out from his mouth in a deep breath, as if he was seeing her after a very long time. She gracefully walked closer to him, her face not showing any sorts of emotion, as she took a seat on his bed, he looked up at her and thought she looked less like a witch and more like a goddess of the north with the beaming moon lighting her entire body in a majestic glow, while he the lowly and pathetic prisoner sat at her feet.
"Do you want to know what I think when I look at you like this, prince Hans?"
Her voice snapped him out of his stupor as he realized this was his enemy he was talking about, the reason why his life was a living Hel. With a clenched fist, he glared at her with all the venom he could conjure in his eyes.
"Leave, witch! You are not wan-" His words of rage and frustration were cut off when she spoke in her same soft voice.
"Wasted potential...That is what I see when I see you like this, Hans. I see a man who possessed everything one could need to becoming something great, but instead, he wasted it all away just because he couldn't see past his own selfish desires."
"SHUT UP! Don't talk like you know anything about me! You don't!" The former prince growled back as he leaned forward, feeling the familiar anger and rage simmering back up.
"I don't? Are you not a selfish, cruel and a power-hungry man? A man who was willing to kill an innocent woman just to get what he wants? Tell me, Hans, what would you call a man like that if not a monster?"
He gripped his mud-caked hair with his hands as her voice reminded of the very things that haunted him everytime he closed his eyes, once again feeling that feeling of self-loathing rising back up.
"I HAD TO! I HAD TO GET OUT! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT I WENT THROUGH! THE TORTURES I ENDURED EVERYDAY! I DIDN'T WANT TO KILL HER BUT I HAD TO!" He could no longer control his emotions, and just like that he was bursting with his very being. Rage, sorrow, guilt and torment all collapsing on him one after the other. His eyes closed and leaking tears with his teeth bared from the terrible and cruel memories. But the woman before him remained unfazed.
"So the pain you endured justifies all that you have done? It justifies all that you were planning to do?"
"You're the queen! You have no idea what it's like for me! You were given everything from the day you were born! Whereas I...I was just the mistake that nobody wanted! So don't speak to me as if you have any idea what it's like to live a life like mine!" He trembled with emotions as he looked up at her.
"Then tell me, tell me what you desire the most right now? What is the one thing you want the most right now, Hans?"
At her question, the prisoner was left quiet as he pondered over her words. What did he want the most in the world right now? There wasn't just one though. He wanted many things at the moment. He wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to have a decent meal for once. He wanted to step out into the sun, and ride Sitron again. He still wanted everyone to give him the respect he deserved. He wanted to sleep without nightmares one more time.
But no, there was something else he wanted, something he wanted so, so much more then all of those things. He slowly closed his eyes, as the many different faces from his life came to him, all the faces of the people who had wounded him. And it made him realize the one thing he wanted more then anything. He slowly looked up at the queen before him and glared at her as he growled his heart's desire to her.
"To make this world feel the same pain I have felt since the day I was born."
"And will that bring you peace? Once the world is burning at your hands, and all those who have wronged you are gone, will you finally be in peace?"
"Yes! Of course it will!" Hans spoke back in anger as he heard the woman speak to him in a tone that made it seem like he was a child, throwing up a useless tantrum. His Elsa stared at him with a strange look in her eyes before she let out a soft sigh, she slowly stood up and started walking towards the cell door. His eyes followed her as she went, and as she looked over her shoulder, she spoke her last words to him before disappearing into nothing.
"If you really believe that, prince Hans, then I truly feel sorry for you. And I curse the ones that destroyed your soul to the point where you don't even know what you want."
He was left all alone once more in the cell, as clouds came over the moonlight, leaving him in the darkness once more. He felt himself drowning in the floods of anguish and heartache and pain, feeling helpless and worthless. A desperate sob left his lips as he looked down at the floor, with tears streaming down his dirty face, he cried as much as he could.
"WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!? WHY AM I ALWAYS LIKE THIS!?" With each plead and scream, the fallen prince smashed his fists against the stony ground. Even the pangs of pain shooting through them didn't deter him from letting out his emotions on the only thing he could find. His hands now bruised and red from the pain being inflicted on them, were begging for relief, but the former prince didn't want to stop.
He kept going and going and going, until he had nothing left. As the last of his cries escaped his lips, his eyes slowly closed on their own as his consciousness finally left him, and for another night he escaped into the world made up of his own nightmares.
But as he fell asleep, he was not aware of the other person who had been watching him through it all. A person who's body and heart trembled in sorrow and pain at the sights that had taken before her eyes.
As the mirror again slowly fogged up, an image of a sleeping and beaten Hans Westergaard was the last thing that remained in her mind. And instantly, she came upon a very frightening realization.
"This was a mistake."
Another chapter done and many more to go.
To everyone who is reading this, I hope you are enjoying the story even though it's most just angst right now. And I hope that as we progress, things will start looking better for our main character. And let's see what happens now that Elsa knows about Hans' condition.
And another thing, a few people msged me and asked why I even made Lars such a douche, well the thing is, I read the frozen heart novel and in that when Hans is shown going through so much pain and torture everyday, I came to the realization that if Lars truly was a good brother to Hans, then he would've atleast tried to defend or protect his little brother against all that. Instead he let it all happen without doing much to protect Hans, so that to me makes me realize that he wasn't as good as people try to make him to be. And that's why I decided on this characterization of him.
So thank you for reading and lemme know what you think in the comments and reviews.