A/N: I have been waiting a long time to write this chapter! Enjoy!
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Izuku's Point of View- Monday
The past few weeks have shared several common characteristics. Each weekend, I feel sick as a dog by the time Friday rolls around, leading me to worry that I won't be able to lump my dialysis treatments together like I have been for much longer. I don't know what kind of schedule I could work out that would allow me to fit a treatment into the middle of the week without revealing my secret to anyone and it's troubling to say the least.
Another ongoing theme, much to my surprise, is Kacchan. During the week, it almost feels like he's watching over me, even when he acts like a jerk in front of everyone else. There's a softness that was never there before and frankly, I don't know what to think about it. We agreed to continue our interactions as usual during the school day and when around our classmates, but every evening at exactly 9pm, Kacchan knocks on my door with a container of food in one hand and study materials in the other.
Much to my dismay, he seems to have made it his personal mission to ensure I eat something every single day. The first half of the week it really isn't a big deal because I haven't completely lost my appetite yet, but the second half is harder. Apparently, he's also made it his personal mission to see to it that I don't fall behind in class which is why he brings his school stuff with him. I quickly learned Kacchan is both an efficient and terrifying study partner, especially when the subject is math. He becomes just a little aggressive when I have trouble following his formulaic reasoning, but even then, his angry words lack any real bite.
Finally, every Thursday evening before returning to his own room, he reminds me that he'll be coming with to the hospital for the weekend. And every Thursday evening I spend half an hour trying to push down the ensuing anxiety attack. Does he really plan on coming with again? How long is he going to keep this up before he gets tired of me? Why does he even care? There's no way he's really going to show up Friday evening. Then at the hospital- there's no way he's really going to show up Saturday morning… and yet he always does. He's slowly becoming a constant in my life, something I thought he'd never be again, and it honestly scares me.
I'm afraid the moment I allow myself to become comfortable with our new relationship, he'll suddenly change course and I'll be alone again. I put on a brave face for my mom and my doctors, but I hated going through all of that without a friend to lean on. He's been there for everything, even when I'm hooked up to the machine which is comical now because I'm almost certain Kacchan does not like needles. He always watches the nurse like a hawk as she inserts the thin, hollowed point into my arm. He goes pale and his face twitches uncomfortably and I can just tell he's physically forcing himself to remain seated next to me.
While walking down to the common area with Ochaco I can't help but snicker, just a little, at the pained and queasy look poor Kacchan gave me last night during my last treatment. I've tried to tell him before that he doesn't have to watch and every time his response is a grunted "I'm not a pussy, fucking Deku" or something along those lines. I think we're at the point where if he wants to be stubborn about it, I'll just leave him to it.
"What are you smiling about, Deku" Ochaco asks as she steps over the blanketed masses of Mina and Sero who are giggling and whispering as they wait for the rest of our class to file in.
It's another movie night with Aoyama picking what we'll be watching. He loves musicals, so it's guaranteed we'll all be occupying front row seats to some kind of melodramatic Broadway spectacle, not that I mind or anything. I kind of like the musicals.
"No reason, just in a good mood tonight, I guess." I take my seat on the sofa, making sure there's enough space for Ochaco to sit. She looks at me, biting her lip and I catch her eyes flick to the side before returning to me. I follow their path to see she was looking over to Iida. With a knowing smile, I gesture over to him discreetly. "You can go sit with Iida if you want. I don't mind."
Her face turns red as a high-pitched noise slips out before covering her mouth with both hands. They've been spending a lot of time together lately and while Ochaco still won't admit to anything, I think we both know what's happening.
"Are you sure?" She squeaks out, her deep blush now making its way to her ears and neck. I nod and watch as she awkwardly heads in his direction. He smiles softly when he notices her coming toward him and scoots over to make room for her, all the while his face is just as red as hers. It's cute.
Mina also noticed and is wildly yanking on Sero's shirt, while batting at Kirishima's face to get them both to look at the pair. Meanwhile, Kaminari takes the seat next to me, his attention seemingly on them as well. Apparently, their whole group is in on whatever Mina has been up to and they all seem thrilled with the results.
"Alright mes amis! If you could all be quiet, please that would be perfection!" Aoyama's thick accent fills the room as he claps his hands to get everyone's attention. Immediately, a hushed silence falls over us as we wait for what will likely be an overly self-indulgent speech. "As you all know it is my turn to choose our movie and so I have decided to gift you all with the greatest musical film to date. It has romance, it has drama, it has ANGST- all amongst the gorgeous backdrop of the early 1800's France. Please remember cell phone use is highly frowned upon during my movie night." As he says this, he glares over to Kaminari and Mineta who are giggling over something on Mineta's cell phone. Upon realizing he's addressing them; they promptly turn it off and put it away.
"Are there hot babes in this movie at least?" Mineta asks as he shifts onto his back with his legs curled over the armrest of the chair.
"I suppose so…. But I digress! I shall now start the movie, anyone who disrupts will receive a wheel of my finely aged cheese hidden within his room's air conditioning vent." With that stomach-turning threat lingering in the room, he flicks the lights off and plays the movie, never actually telling us what it's called.
A little over two and half hours later and there isn't a dry eye in sight, except for Kacchan and Mineta of course. I'm wiping at my own eyes with the hem of my shirt, feeling extremely shaken from the whole experience. It was a poignant reminder of how the lines of right and wrong, good and evil are not always black and white.
"You guys… it's official. Valjean and even Javert have set a new standard of what it means to be manly." Kirishima wipes a tear from his eye and sniffles.
"And Fantine, God! When she cut off her hair and sold herself into prostitution to take care of her daughter- I felt that in my soul." Hagakure sighs dramatically, a few others tearfully agreeing with her.
"I resonated with the darker themes of the plot. Very enjoyable." Tokoyami adds.
"I don't know. I thought it was pretty boring if you ask me." There goes Mineta, giving his two cents.
"Excusez-moi?!"
"You heathen!"
"What? Am I not allowed to have an opin-"
"No!" Nearly half the class scream back at him as he cowers into the couch. I'm guessing he'll be receiving one of Aoyama's stinky cheeses for that. I wonder how he even gets those things into the right vents?
By the time I make it back to my room, it's well after 9 and I am beat. So much so that I consider texting Kacchan to let him know not to bother coming over but before I can a light knock sounds from my door. I sigh, accepting that I'll be up for at least another hour, and invite him in. He looks as tired as I feel, his blond spikes are disheveled and there are bags under his eyes, but nevertheless he storms in with a huff while shoving the container of food in my hands. After opening the lid, I see it's some kind of vegetable soup.
"I hope you've been studying those equations nerd, because I swear to god if I have to explain it one more time, I will kick your ass!" His threats used to make me nervous, but now I just watch him slam his textbook on my desk while I eat my soup, unaffected.
"I looked it over during lunch" I reply over a mouthful of tomato and zucchini.
"Can you do it without looking at your cheat sheet?"
"Nope."
"For fuck's sake!" His palms are smoking now which is a little more worrisome. "Where's your textbook and notes?"
As I finish my soup, I search my room for my backpack. I'm not exactly the most organized person, I tend to leave things setting out and I don't always clean up after myself. It drives Kacchan crazy being the neat freak that he is but it's my room so he can just deal with it. After a thorough search, I'm fairly certain it isn't in here so that means…
"Eh, I think I left my bag in the common room. It has all my school stuff in it…" Kacchan does not look impressed.
"Go get it then, Deku. I'll just fucking wait here. It's not like I want to sleep at some point tonight or anything." He drops onto my desk chair and crosses his arms, scowling at me as he lounges back.
"Right! I'll be right back!" I'm a little concerned he's going to blow something up, but I back out of my room and race downstairs anyway.
Everyone else has turned in for the night, leaving the darkened room empty and quiet. There're a few blankets left out, along with random pieces of dropped popcorn and it looks like someone left his cellphone behind. It's nice to know I'm not the only forgetful one of the group. My bag remains undisturbed by the window, right where I left it after school. I hurry over to it so I can hopefully make it back to my room before Kacchan tries to burn one of my All Might posters or something. In record time, I'm opening the door to my room, but completely caught off guard by what I found.
There sits Kacchan, legs crossed and on top of my bed while holding what appears to be one of my journals. I can't tell which journal he's staring at but he's looking at it with such concentration, his body language is closed off and the tension in the air is so thick you could cut it with a knife. A feeling of dread washes through me, I take a tentative step towards him.
His eyes snap up to me, ruby irises staring with such intensity I swear they could burn a hole right through my body. "What the fuck is this?" He demands, his chilling tone dangerously low.
Bending at the waist, I try to get a good look at it without actually stepping any closer to him. My eyes land on the familiar, worn green leather of one of my journals and I'm still not sure which one I'm looking at until he opens it to reveal the first page. As realization hits, I suck in a sharp breath, eyes instantly darting every which way. "H-how… where- where did you get that?" I stumble nervously over my words as those calculating eyes continue to assess me.
"It was laying on your desk." He said simply, like that was an acceptable answer. His words stem a rush of anger because why the heck is he sifting through my things? I really just want to yell at him for it, but I know that isn't going to fix this problem. Well end up having a shouting match, punches might get thrown and my All Might merch will suffer the consequences. No thank you.
I straighten my back and square my shoulders. "It's a bucket list. After I found out my disease is probably going to kill me, I decided I wanted to make one. Is that okay with you, Kacchan?" I couldn't even hide the bitterness from my tone as I spoke.
He looked taken aback by what I said, probably hoping it wasn't what he was expecting. After a tense moment of silence, he sighs, turning the pages slowly. "You aren't going to die, shitty nerd" he whispers with enough conviction that I know he believes what he's saying.
It occurs to me then that his anger came from a place of concern and that realization is sobering. My own anger dissolves instantly, leaving behind a lingering feeling of warmth. "I don't plan to, but it makes me feel better to have this. Just in case. I don't want to have any regrets, you know?" My eyes are starting to burn as wet pools collect in the corners. I will not cry; I will not cry.
"I don't even know what to say to that. I… couldn't understand what you're going through even if I tried but I guess if it's important to you- fuck. I hate this. I just- I'll help you do the shit in here." Well crap. I wasn't expecting him to say that and now there isn't a dam in the world that could keep my tears at bay. My face is quickly becoming a wet, snotty mess and I rub vigorously at it with my sleeve. "You are such a cry baby" he says, almost fondly?
"You're being so nice; I can't help it!" I choke out between sobs.
"Tch, whatever." I could swear his voice sounds heavy with emotion, but he's handling it better than I am. He starts to page through my list, mumbling a few things he comes across out loud as he goes. "You want to attend the Hero Con, collect every All Might action figure, and… pft- snorkel? That one's pretty fucking random."
"I think it would be cool to snorkel. Or even scuba dive!" I respond somewhat defensively.
Kacchan continues to look through my journal, reading every page carefully until he suddenly stops. His face is a blank slate meanwhile a light pink seems to have dusted across his cheeks. Curious to know what he's looking at; I lean over and read the words "First Kiss." My face heats instantly, I'm waving my hands in front of me while trying to think of some way I can play this off while retaining a shred of dignity.
"That uh, it's not what it looks like!" Smooth, Izuku. Real smooth.
Slowly, he looks over to me, his face now forming into a smirk and I have to brace myself for the teasing that I know is coming my way. "Can't say I was expecting to find that little gem in there" he laughs.
He closes the journal and sets it on top of my All Might comforter before walking over to where I'm standing. He looks smug but I could swear there's vulnerability hiding behind that smile that I've never seen before now. He continues over to me, never breaking eye contact, until he's very much in my personal space, so much so that I can feel his warm breath brushing across my lips. I swallow thickly, my head tilted back so I can look up at him, my eyes probably as wide as saucers by now.
My brain is going a mile a minute, completely at a loss for what is happening. Meanwhile Kacchan is inching closer, his eyes closing until I realize too late what his intention is. Warm lips are suddenly pressing into mine, his hand gently cradling the back of my head and oh my god, Kacchan is kissing me. I'm frozen for just a second, my mouth a hard line while my brain tries desperately to catch up. It only takes another second for me to relax into his kiss. His lips are soft as they move against mine while the sweet scent of burnt caramel permeates my nose. I didn't even realize this was something I needed in my life and holy crap why didn't we do this sooner?
Too soon, he pulls away, leaving me feeling like a breathless mess of jelly trying to retain shape without any real support. He smiles then, and its so genuine and perfect. I don't think I have enough control to smile back right now, instead I awkwardly clear my throat. I'm just now realizing his hand is still firmly placed behind my head, his fingers carding through my curls. I lean back into it just a little, sighing contentedly.
"Guess you can mark that one off, yeah?" He says playfully, his smirk back in place.
Miraculously, I manage to find my voice and respond, "Y-yeah. I guess I can."