Katsuki's Point of View- Tuesday
Let me be perfectly clear about something. I did not go into Deku's room last night with the intention of kissing him. I thought I'd blow some shit up because his math skills are an egregious affront to me personally and I have no qualms with physically demonstrating my displeasure to him. Instead, the dumbass didn't even have his work with him and had to go retrieve it, leaving me alone in his nerd cave. Naturally, when I saw a random journal laying on his desk, I assumed it was one of his stalker books, so I opened it. But this is Deku we're talking about so of course it wasn't what I fucking expected.
The first page was a preface, explaining the meaning of various symbols he used to determine the level of importance and the likelihood of completion for each subject on the following pages. He must have been nerding pretty fucking hard when he wrote that shit, but it did make it easier for me to understand. The first item he wrote on his list was to meet All Might along with various ideas of how he could go about accomplishing that. Next to it was a big green checkmark with a happy face drawn above it. Fucking cute ass nerd doing cute ass nerd shit.
As I looked over the next two pages, I quickly concluded what I was reading, a conclusion that rightfully pissed me the fuck off. That fucking nerd swore to me he wasn't giving up, yet there I was staring at what I assumed was his bucket list. If he hadn't actually given up, then why the hell was he making one of those? The longer he took to get his shit and come back the longer I stewed and by the time he returned I was so mad I could barely form a coherent thought.
My suspicions were confirmed, and we had it out. I don't understand what he's thinking. I've never been in his position before but for whatever reason, hearing the conviction behind his reasoning made me want to help him. Hell, even if he would have given me some pitiful, sorry ass excuse I still would have helped him because it's fucking Deku.
And that's when I came across it. Right in his journal, printed plainly- and probably for his eyes only, it read, "First Kiss." I was floored. Not only because it was some sappy shit I wasn't expecting to read but because the moment I read it, I could swear my heart skipped a beat and my stomach fluttered. The unbidden image of me kissing him popped into my head and for some fucking reason, I didn't immediately hate it.
At that point, scattered thoughts surged through my mind but the words he had just spoken a few minutes prior seemed to ring the loudest, "I don't want to have any regrets." I took those words to heart, plastering on what I hoped was a confident smirk and made my way over to him, my nerves rattling the whole time. When I was only inches away from him, a flicker of insecurity began to take form, but I shook it off because I'm fucking Katsuki Bakugou. I decide what I want, and I see it through to the end.
Never did I think I'd end up kissing Deku of all people and what was even more surprising was how much I enjoyed it. It felt like I was on cloud nine or some shit and once the nerd finally composed himself and kissed me back, he made it clear that he felt the same. I can't really say I know what this means for us, but we'll figure it out as we go.
In the meantime, we have a full day of classwork with zero field training scheduled. The idea of spending the entire day cooped up in a classroom makes me feel agitated. I think I've been stuck at my desk for at least an hour and a half now and I swear if I have to sit here for much longer, I really will blow something up. I've been restlessly bouncing my heels for the past twenty minutes, the motion rattling my desk enough that I've garnished several concerned peeks from the extras.
All Might is teaching currently, and he's been prattling on and on about all the extra shit Heroes should get involved in that goes beyond the regular scope of their jobs. Whether we're on duty or off duty, we're still Heroes. We must lead by example, always be prepared to lend a helping hand- blah, blah, blah. I'm not saying it's unimportant, I'd just rather be doing anything else right now.
"It all comes down to donating your time for the welfare of others because not every service needs to be paid. And with that goal in mind, we will be donating some of our time and resources to help out the community." All Might is sitting his bony ass on the edge of his desk, feet crossed and gesturing to us with his hands in the air.
"Your future PR managers will push you to perform charitable acts in front of the public eye and while publicity is important, true Heroes will do it because they care, even when no one is watching." It sounds like it's going to be another people-oriented project, likely the only part of being a hero I struggle with in any way. Just fucking great. I glance behind me to see Deku is taking careful notes, probably writing everything his idol says directly verbatim. Meanwhile four eyes are solemnly nodding along like a well-trained dog, probably echoing everything being said in his head.
"Now then, I'm sure all of you bright young fledglings are eagerly waiting to hear all about your next big project. We will be making special gift baskets which are to be filled with self care items. I will split you into groups and each group will need to come up with a design as well as a list of items to fill it. The school has allotted us a budget per basket, which I've written on your draft sheets, so as long as you stay within your price limit you may do whatever you want with it." He gives ponytail a serious look then, addressing us as he does. "Whoever is grouped with Yaoyorozu, please be informed that you may not use her ability to fill your basket. Any questions?" He looks around to each of us, stopping when Deku's hand shoots up in the air. "Ah, young Midoriya. What's your question?"
"Who are the baskets for exactly? It'll be easier to tailor them if we knew who we are putting them together for."
"Right you are! My apologies. I thought I told you already. You'll have to excuse this senile old man." He chuckles to himself before continuing. "These baskets will be going out to the patients in the pediatric wards of several local hospitals. We'll also want to throw a few things in for their parents too since I'm sure they are also going through a difficult time."
Well that was fucking unexpected. I turn in my seat to check on the nerd and he's just sitting there, pale as a fucking ghost, face a twitching mess. He opens his mouth just to close it again several times. I know what he wants to ask, so I raise my hand to ask it for him.
"Yes, young Bakugou?" All Might calls on me, though he's still looking at Deku, probably wondering what just happened to him.
"Which hospitals will these bags be delivered to and who will deliver them?"
"Haha, another good question! Well…" He gives Deku one last look of concern before returning his attention to me. "I can't tell you which hospitals will be getting the packages because we want it to be a surprise for the patients. Don't want word getting out or anything! And as for who will be delivering them… The group with the best design and fillers will have their idea used for the donations, but that's not all! They'll also get to dedicate an entire weekend to personally delivering the packages to the children and their parents. Isn't that just great!?" He gives us two enthusiastic thumbs up as he says this, like he's just gifted us with something really fucking special.
Most of the class groans at that and a few of the kiss asses- I'm looking at you ponytail and glasses- are thrilled. Meanwhile, very low, panicky whines of distress are sounding from the seat behind me. The urge to comfort him envelopes me, I'm turning to reach out for his hand before I realize what I'm doing and pull back immediately. Deku and I can talk about this tonight, this isn't the right time.
All Might is back to watching Deku, his lips tugging down into a concerned frown. It isn't like the nerd not to be overly excited about every single hero related task so I'm sure the old man wants to know what's going on with his successor. "Anyway, I have your groups mapped out already. Uraraka, Kirishima, Shoji, Mineta, Iida, Ashido, and Kaminari will be group one. Group two is Asui, Ojiro, Yaoyorozu, Sero, Aoyama, Midoriya and Sato. The last group is Koda, Bakugou, Jiro, Tokoyami, Todoroki and Hagakure."
For fuck's sake… "Oi! Put me in a different group. I'm not dealing with that Icyhot bastard. Not today!"
"Young Bakugou, I love your passion! However, I think this will be a great opportunity for the two of you to find some common ground. Now then, split into your groups and take twenty minutes to draw out what you'd like your baskets to look like and what you would want to fill them with." He claps his hands together and everyone stands up to migrate towards the others in their group.
Before Deku can walk away I grab his wrist and tug until he turns to me. He's doing a lot better at keeping his shit together than before. The only remaining indication that something isn't right is the barely perceptible tremor in his arms and legs. "It's going to be okay" I whisper. "Just fucking breath, okay?" He nods his head once, eyes glued to his bright, red shoes.
As I let go of him so he can go to his group, I notice Pinkie of all people has caught our exchange and is now looking at me oddly. If she even thinks about trying to snoop around this or god forbid turning us into her next mission, there WILL be blood.
My group flocks over to my desk, Icyhot has our draft sheet and the other extras are already chattering on about their ideas for the project.
"I think the basket should be covered in feathers, black as the night sky."
"I guess we could put some rockin CDs in there."
"We could add some golden leaves to the handle to offset the creepy dark theme a bit?"
"Instant soba noodles…."
"M- maybe we could add… s-s-some animal plushies?"
"What do you think, Bakugou?" Earphones and the other extras are looking at me expectantly, waiting for my input.
"I think it sounds like a fucking disaster. I couldn't give two fucks though." This is the first time I didn't want to win a competition. If I won, I'd be tied up for a weekend and away from Deku. Not going to fucking happen.
"Bakugou, you're part of the team. You need to contribute" Birdbrain insists, the pushy fucker.
"Tch, a bottle of curry powder to make the Soba fucking edible then." This is going to be the worst basket of all time. Despite that, Icyhot is sketching away, depicting a feathery, leaf covered monstrosity overflowing with random junk. At least I don't have to worry about winning. There's no way the other extras will flop this bad.
A little while later, everyone has submitted their ideas to All Might who in turn is studiously inspecting every detail. When he looks at my group's I have to hold back a laugh at the way he tilts his head and wrinkles his nose. Deku has been muttering lowly since he sat back down at his desk, though it's so quiet I have no fucking clue what he's saying.
"Everyone, can I have your attention please? I've come to a decision, and though it was a difficult one because you all had some very… unique ideas, I like the economic design and fillers from group one the most." Roughly two thirds of the class sigh in relief, myself included. "You've decided to save money on the basket, instead opting for a simple mesh, drawstring bag. It will be filled with pocket games, a signed copy of my most recent documentary, a few snacks, and two bath bombs for the parents. Phenomenal job!"
Glasses stands up and bows low at the waist, arms stiffly along his sides. "We welcome the opportunity to give back to our community. May I ask which weekend we will be making our deliveries?"
"Boy you all have great questions today. The deliveries will go out in two weeks. We will spend class time next week preparing the items to be sent."
Pinkie's hand comes up next. "Will the entire group need to deliver the packages all weekend or can we split up and some of us will do Saturday and some will do Sunday?"
"Everyone will get to deliver both days. I think it's more fun that way." No one from group one, except for glasses, looked too pleased with that answer. "Anyone else? No? Okay, in that case we've gone over by a few minutes, so class dismissed." As everyone got up from their seats and filed out, All Might walks over to Deku and places his hand on his shoulder. "Everything okay, young Midoriya?" He asks with concern.
"Oh, um yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." Deku offers him a pathetic attempt at reassurance and I don't think All Might is buying it, but he doesn't push it.
"Okay well, if you decide there's anything you want to talk about, you know where to find me." He gives his shoulder a small squeeze before returning to his desk to collect his things and leave for the day.
Deku, barely having his bag zipped, darts out of the room and down the hall. I follow closely behind, weaving through the halls and courtyard until we find ourselves back at the dorms. As soon as his door slams shut behind us, he paces his room, mumbling like a fucking maniac.
"Oh my god Kacchan, what am I going to do? What do you think the chances are they won't end up at my hospital? Why am I even asking that? It's the biggest hospital in the area. Of course, they'll deliver the packages there! Oh god, they're going to find out and kick me out of school." The tears were really starting to flow now, his speech was layered between hiccups and sniffles. In his emotional state he must have activated one for all because green currents are flowing around him, unchecked.
"Jesus, Deku. Calm the fuck down." I go over to him, pressing both palms to his freckled cheeks. He's hyperventilating now, and I'm more than a little concerned about what will happen to his room if he loses control of himself. My contact seems to catch his attention, but not enough. His breaths are rapid and shallow, he looks like he's going to be sick. I press my forehead against his, willing him to relax. This shit can't be good for his already depleting health.
He blinks up at me, I can still feel tremors coursing through him but at least it looks like one for all has been disengaged. "That's right, Izuku. Take deep breaths for me." I think it's the first time I've called him by his first name since we were brats. It felt fucking weird coming out of my mouth, but it was at least enough to bring him down from his manic state.
"K-Kacchan?"
"Hold my face like I'm holding yours." I command.
"W-wait, what?"
"Just do it, nerd."
"Okay." He cautiously does as I tell him, and soon I feel the warmth of his sweaty palms pressing against my face. "Good, now take slow and steady breaths and repeat after me. It is going to be fucking okay."
"Uh…"
"Jesus. You can skip the curse."
"Right… It's going to be okay." I can tell he doesn't believe what we're saying, but this is a good first step.
"You're doing good. Now say, I'm going to be okay."
"I'm… going to be okay?"
"Don't say it like it's a fucking question, Deku. Say it like you fucking mean that shit."
"I'm going to be okay."
"Good, just like that. One more time, with more conviction."
"I'm going to be okay!" It's almost believable that time. I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath, pressing my forehead further against his. I can feel him physically relaxing with me, it's a good thing.
When my eyes flutter open It occurs to me just how close we are. There's still a lot of tension in his face, his emerald eyes reflecting countless doubts fueled by a lifetime of playing fate's least favorite. He's still holding onto my face like his life depends on it meanwhile worrying his perfect bottom lip with his teeth.
To be clear, I did not go into his room with the intention of kissing him again, yet that's exactly what I'm about to do.
The moment our lips meet, I feel the rest of that pent-up tension melt off him. Just like last night, his lips are wet and salty with tears. I want to kiss them away, erase his pain and fear until all that's left is the curious, overzealous nerd that I've known since forever. There isn't a lot of space between us and I easily close it with half a step forward, moving until I can feel the heat radiating from his body mingling with my own. A breathy moan forms from his lips, allowing me just enough space to deepen our kiss.
His mouth is warm and inviting as I explore every inch of it. He's pressing into me, moaning sweetly into my mouth and god I feel like I've never tasted anything before getting a taste of Deku. My hands languorously travel down the toned muscles of his back until I'm wrapping them around his hips. He's eagerly kissing me back, licking over my tongue and teeth, the sounds he's making growing louder. My cock twitches with interest within the confines of my pants- effectively pulling me back into reality.
Breaking away from him, I can't help but smirk at the little pout he gives me. His lips are red, face flushed, and I want nothing more than to kiss him again. Instead I wrap my fingers around his hands which are still glued to my face. I pull them off, pressing my lips to each palm before letting them drop down to his sides. He's looking at me inquisitively now, reason and rationality finally returning.
"What is this, Kacchan?" He asks, confused.
"What's what?"
He huffs at that before flailing his hands in the air. "Whatever is happening with us. I- what is it?"
"I don't fucking know. But whatever it is… I think it's a good thing." I swallow, feeling a little uncertain. "Do you… think it's a good thing?"
He chews on that bottom lip again as he thinks it over. After a moment he stops, his eyes raising to meet mine. "How could I not? Kacchan is amazing" he says with a grin. Instantly, that coil of vulnerability unfurls, and I can't help but smile back at him.
I'm beginning to realize there was a lot more pulling me to Deku than simple curiosity. All this time, I never knew why I kept persisting to find the truth, and after I uncovered it, why I felt such a strong need to make things right. I'm beginning to understand now, though. Just a little at a time.