Katsuki's Point of View- Thursday
Those fuckfaces refused to let me ride in the ambulance with Deku. They said something about family only or whatever and if I wanted to visit, I'd have to find my own way. I was two seconds from blasting them into next week when Shitty Hair activated his quirk and wrapped his stupid rock arms around me, pinning my arms to my sides. I struggled against that fucking ridiculous hold while the EMTs covered Deku's bare, puke covered body with a blanket and secured him to the stretcher. Aizawa sounded in the background, just beyond the door, commanding the extras to go back to their dorms so they weren't in the way.
When that stretcher disappeared behind the door, I renewed my struggle tenfold but Shitty Hair wouldn't let up. So many foreign emotions bubbled to the surface- weakness, helplessness, fear, dread… I wanted it all to go away, needed it to go away. Those feelings weren't going to help Deku and they sure as fuck weren't going to help me get to him. I needed to clear my head, calm down so Shitty Hair would let the fuck go of me. Closing my eyes, I breathed in deeply through my nose before releasing through my mouth. My body stilled as I allowed all the fight to drain out of me and regain composure.
"If I let you go are you going to punch me in the face and/or blast me?" There was an edge to his voice and there damn well should be too after he restrained me like some damn psycho in a mental institute.
"No, Shitty Hair. Now let go."
"Okay bro." He hesitantly releases me and the moment I'm free I charge to the door without looking back, vaguely aware of what sounded like Shitty Hair's footsteps echoing just behind me.
Aizawa was waiting for us in the hallway just outside the door. The stress and anxiety rolling off him was palpable, not to mention unusual given his generally stoic nature. "I informed the EMTs that they need to take him to his hospital so his team of specialists can take care of him. It's only a few miles further than the closest hospital so they didn't give me much grief about it." Nodding, I go to move past him when his arm shoots out in front of me, blocking my path. "I expect updates."
"Yeah, okay." I want to tell him I appreciate everything he's done but I don't know how to articulate that into words. Instead I settle for a curt, "thanks" and continue forward.
Behind me I hear him stop Shitty Hair, informing him he needs to return to his dorm and something about how hospitals aren't meant for social hour. Good, I don't need anyone tagging along. A few of the extras are lingering in the hallway as I sprint through, anxiety resting heavily in their expressions. They weren't even there, couldn't know how lifeless he looked, sprawled out on the floor next to a fucking toilet, eyes glazed over, breathing too slow. The image is burned into my brain and I'd give just about anything to make it go away, to just make all of this go away.
Getting to the hospital went much smoother than I anticipated. I called Auntie and the Hag to let them both know what was going on and to request someone come get me. I was too rattled to just wait though so I sprinted in the direction of the hospital, trying to close the stretch of distance between us as fast as possible. I was about a mile in when I spotted the familiar design and color of our family car, the Hag slowing enough for me to throw myself inside before setting off again.
This emergency visit was nothing like the last. By the time we got there, Deku had already been placed in a room and was puking into a bag as we walked through the doorway. He's pale, drenched in sweat and hooked up to all these different monitors. Auntie's sitting next to him, trembling with streams of tears running down her face while she rubs Deku's back soothingly. As I walk slowly to his bedside, it feels like I have tunnel vision. Everything around us is inconsequential, just blurring together while I focus on the sole thing of importance in the entire room, Deku.
After climbing up on the bed I lean over and kiss the damp mop of green curls laying flat on his head. He smells awful, pungently sour, yet sickeningly sweet all mixed together with that sterile hospital scent. Suppressing the unbidden urge to turn away, I lean back against the headboard and scoot in closer, folding him into me until he's resting his head on my chest, still clutching that disgusting vomit bag in his hand. "Do they have any idea what's going on" I ask no one in particular.
"They did a full blood panel and hooked me up to that" Deku points to a clear bag of liquid hanging on a metal hook just above his bed. "It's just fluids to keep me hydrated though. We haven't gotten any results back yet."
Auntie sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "W-who found him?"
"Shi- um, Kirishima did. I was worried because I hadn't heard from Izuku after my jog, so we split up and he found him first."
"Thank god for that. Katsuki, I don't know what we'd do without you. Please thank your friend for me next time you see him."
Nodding, I reply "Sure thing" though I feel wholly undeserving of her gratitude. The fact is, Deku was doing fine until I took him on our adventure. His numbers were deteriorating, but the progression was slow and not unexpected. I let him push himself too far, I should have noticed the warning signs and slowed down. The lethargy, the unusually low appetite… He's always a little off on treatment days because his body needs the detoxification from dialysis, but it was never that bad. I overlooked it; this is my fault.
"It's not your fault, Kacchan. I noticed too but I didn't say anything. We were having so much fun, I didn't want it to stop." The hell? Since when is this nerd a mind reader? Maybe it's another perk of One for All… That would fucking suck for me.
"How did-"
"You were mumbling."
Oh… "Jesus, your nerdisms are rubbing off on me."
"Katsuki dear, don't blame yourself. We don't even know what the cause is yet but whatever it is, you can't put this on yourself. I believe you took good care of my Izuku while you were away." Auntie squeezed my hand with reassurance, a soft smile that didn't quite reach her eyes forming on her puffy, red face.
"Excuse me, I hope I'm not interrupting anything." The sound of a familiar voice has my head snapping up in attention, eyes searching until I spot him. Dr. Kaneko is dressed in his usual baby blue scrubs and white lab coat, salt and pepper hair trimmed short, usual cheerful disposition is nowhere in sight, replaced instead with a grave, serious frown.
Auntie straightens in her seat, hand temporarily slipping from Deku's back to be folded with the other in her lap. "Oh no, not at all! Do you have Izuku's test results back yet? I get the feeling that maybe you do..."
The old man's eyes briefly drop to the tablet in his hand before rising back up to peer at all of us. He seems hesitant, like he doesn't want to say whatever he's about to. The feeling of impending doom is choking me, my brain spirals with a flurry of what if's and maybes, none of which end well.
"Yes, I do have his results. This might be a conversation for family only though-"
"No, no. Everyone here is family to us. Whatever it is, you can say it in front of them too." Auntie's on her feet now with her arms crossed over her chest. The hag walks over to her, placing a supportive hand on her shoulder.
"Okay, well in that case I'll go ahead and tell you what we know and then we'll want to discuss options." Dr. Kaneko takes a deep breath before reading from the notes on his device. "Izuku's results showed a disturbing shift in both his PH and arterial blood gases. I say disturbing because the change in comparison to his last test is significant. Essentially, he's developed what we call metabolic acidosis which in his case has resulted from his kidneys not removing enough acid from his blood. It isn't an uncommon problem for patients with Kidney disease, but it's become severe enough that he'll need a sodium bicarbonate transfusion to regulate his PH in addition to adding sodium bicarb to his oral medication routine. Additionally, because of its severity, his kidneys have suffered tremendously and are beginning to fail." He glances up from his screen then, assessing us for our reactions.
The moment the words kidney and fail tumbled from his lips, my whole world stopped. I could swear it felt like everything moved in slow motion- Auntie collapsing into the Hag, my old man bombarding Dr. Kaneko for more information, Auntie being guided back to the chair next to Izuku, meanwhile the nerd was putting on a brave face but the trembling of his limbs betrayed him.
Wiping at the damn wetness leaking out of my eyes, I clear my throat to get the doc's attention. "Oi! I d-don't k-know" dammit voice, get it together! Swallowing, I try again. "I don't know a lot about this stuff but if Izuku's kidneys are f-failing, shouldn't he be put on some kind of donation list? Or has he already?"
"That's a fair question and unfortunately the answer is no."
"No? The fuck you mean, no?"
"Language, Brat!"
For fuck's sake. "This isn't the time, Hag!"
"Wait, Kacchan. It's, well we already knew this. That I won't qualify that is." Looking down, I'm met with brilliant, emerald- They're studying me in a way that makes me feel like he's deciding how much I can handle before I lose my shit.
"Explain." My stupid voice is raspy and hoarse, like I've been crying for hours.
"I don't qualify to be put on that list because my body is the reason my kidneys aren't doing well. It's attacking them. New kidneys would be wasted on me. They'd eventually fail just like my current ones."
It takes a second for that information to really sink in and absorb into my brain. He doesn't qualify, his new kidneys would be wrecked too. It makes sense and I've never in my life hated logic as much as I do in this moment. I fucking refuse to accept this bullshit. There has to be another way. "Y-you can have one of mine then. I don't need two anyway."
"It's not that simple I'm afraid." Fucking Dr. Kaneko. No one asked you. "You'd have to be a perfect match to donate to him, and because you are underage, your parents would need to sign their consent. And, you'd only be buying him a little bit of time. Maybe a few months with only one kidney and the accelerated rate his body is attacking them."
"Not to mention, you can't be a hero with only one kidney, Kacchan. It would be too dangerous."
"I'd find a way to still be a hero. And we only need to buy enough time to find the woman with the quirk so we can reverse it. It's worth it and I want to do it." This is the answer, it has to be. I look over to the Hag. She's looking back at me with what looks a lot like regret.
"Brat, I am so proud of you for wanting to help Izuku, but I can't let you do that. Inko, I'm sorry but it's not an option. There isn't enough of a guarantee and he could be throwing his whole future away." Her words hit me like a sucker punch to the face. I think I can actually feel the stinging bite of her blow against my undamaged skin.
Sniffling, Auntie nods her head, obviously agreeing with me. She'll get the Hag to be reasonable. "Please don't feel that way Mitsuki. I'd never agree to something like that either. Katsuki, you are so sweet, but I cannot accept your offer." No way. Are we in the twilight zone or something? This isn't fucking happening right now. Am I the only one who fucking cares?
Just below me, Deku shifts around so we can see each other better. That look of determination should be encouraging, but I already know what he's going to say and I'm not sure I can take this last nail in my coffin. "You are so amazing that you'd be willing to give everything up for me. But I agree with everyone else. I'm not taking your kidney, even if you are a match." The conviction behind his words tell me he's not going to change his mind and even though it's tearing me up inside, I drop it. For now.
"Fine. So, what else can we do, then? You said there are options, right?" I ask, pointing to the doc, not missing the look of pity he's giving me.
"Yes, there are options, but they are all management based, not cures. The sodium bicarb is a big one, we have to get the acidosis under control, or it will lead to a whole lot of other problems. Izuku will also need to take care when engaging in physical activity because exercise can lead to lactic acid buildup which would add to the problem. He'll also want to eat more plant-based foods and less meat. Finally, I highly recommend an increase in your search efforts. I know none of you want this to go public, but it might be worth it to televise your predicament and see if anyone calls in a sighting of her."
A televised request for help? That's a fucking golden idea. It's not like Deku's still trying to hide anything from the school or our classmates anymore. If we broadcast that shit on live TV it should just be a matter of time before the asshole is caught.
"That could work. Izuku, what do you think?" Auntie asks hopefully.
Deku nervously glances from her, to the doc, to me, probably stressing over every possible outcome from that decision. "I don't really like the idea of making my private life so public like that, but if you think it will help then yes, let's do it."
"What exactly are the logistics of that? Is that something we could have done right away?" The old man asks Dr. Kaneko.
"Honestly, the best way to quickly accomplish something like that would be to connect with some of the teachers at Izuku's school. I'm certain at least a few of them have connections with various talk show hosts who could set Izuku up on a morning or night show."
"W-wait a second. You want me to-to go on a talk show?" The nerd's staring wide eyed, fiddling with his puke bag and appearing very uncomfortable with the suggestion. The doc simply nods his head in response. "Okay… I'm a little uncomfortable with that but if it will help it'll be worth it. I'll do it."
I'm glad he's willing to do it because if he'd have said no, I would have obviously gone in his stead. I don't think I'd have been as successful though since I seem to lack his nerd charm which for some reason makes people think they should bend over backwards for him. Hopefully with Deku publicly asking for assistance on live television, we'll find this bitch in no time and get her to fix whatever the fuck she did to him. He won't need another kidney or dialysis or any of that shit after that.
Auntie seems to approve of the idea, nodding along as everyone talks. Eventually, Izuku turns to her, looking for her final stamp of approval for their plan. "Well, it kind of feels like we're using my son as bait, but I suppose if it's the best way of helping him then I couldn't possibly say no."
Clapping his hands together, Dr. Kaneko says, "Good, I'll leave setting the interview up to you then since you know the heroes at UA better than I do. Just keep me posted on the progress and let me know if you need any help. I can provide medical proof if anyone asks for it before allowing him on a show. And with that said, Izuku, your bicarb transfusion should be ready any minute now and I think you'll be feeling much better after receiving it. We'll also want to keep you overnight for observation, and you'll be staying here anyway over the weekend. In the meantime, let's try to limit traffic in here so you can get some rest."
"That sounds like our cue to go. Come one Masaru, we should get back to work. Brat? I'm guessing you're staying?"
"Course I'm staying." The Hag and old man wave to Deku and me before leaving while he lounges back, resting his head on my shoulder.
Auntie takes the gross bag from him, dumping its contents into the toilet and throwing it out before setting a fresh bag by his hand. "My manager at work said I could take the day off-"
"Mom, it's fine. Go back to work. I'll still be here after your shift." Auntie freezes then, seemingly uncertain of what to do before letting herself relax again.
"Okay, sweet boy. I'll see you tonight then. You too, Katsuki." She runs her fingers through Deku's green locks, radiating pure, motherly love for her only son before doing the same to me. Grunting, I try not to seem out of my element from her affection, forcing myself to stay still and not turn away from her.
After everybody has left and the nurse starts Deku's bicarb IV, it's just the two of us, finally alone again. The sound of our mutual silence is deafening. There's so much I want to say to him, and I can tell by the way he's shifting around that he feels the same. Based on his diagnosis, I wouldn't say this is all my fault like before but even in that knowledge, the feeling of guilt still lingers, like a gnat just waiting for the right moment to stick me in the eye.
Eventually, the nerd breaks first, his word choice careful, tone apprehensive. "Kacchan… I-well if this is too much for you, I get it. You've been amazing, given me experiences and opportunities that I never thought I'd get, but you don't have to go down this road with me anymore. I-I wouldn't blame you."
"Deku, you can stop with that shit right now, seriously. I'm not going anywhere." I'm tired of this conversation. What do I have to say to convince him I'm not going to pussy out because things aren't looking great right now?
Suddenly, I feel his warm hand taking my own, intertwining our fingers together. "I don't want to be a burden to you. You've worked so hard to get where you are, and I don't want to hold you back."
"First of all, you aren't holding me back. Second, you need to fucking stop it with that shit. I know you want to tell me I have my whole life ahead of me, because you really like to remind me of that during these times but Deku… I couldn't give two fucks about that life if you aren't a part of it."
He sniffs, rubbing his wet face against my shirt, soiling it with tears and snot. Something like that would have pissed me off not too long ago but now, there's a twinge of pride knowing I can be that person for him. "I don't think I'll ever stop feeling at least a little guilty, but I honestly do want you in my life, as long as that's what you want too."
"You know it is, Izuku. I've told you as much over and over again, and I'll keep telling you the same thing until you accept it. Besides, none of that matters because once you publicly appeal to the masses, it's just a matter of time before we find her and fix what she did."
"And if we don't find her?"
"Not gonna happen. We will find her, I'm sure of it."