Izuku's Point of View- Monday

Well, that could have gone better. For years now I clung onto the hope that finding her would be my saving grace, that she could magically erase everything she took from me and my life would move on for the better. But that isn't what happened, and I should have known better. Nothing is that easy, especially for me.

It's only been a few hours since I've returned to my dorm and even now, I feel like it just hasn't sunk in yet. Everything that transpired in that tiny little room, everything that I learned is just bouncing off the surface instead of soaking through.

I wasn't always quirkless.

My decade plus search for her was in vain.

She isn't the villain I had made her out to be in my head.

Regardless, she's going to jail, probably for a long time.

And…. I'm going to die.

That last one should be the kicker, the horrific truth that unwraps my sanity and leaves me bare and broken but it hasn't. Honestly, I don't know what to think. It's a possibility I've dealt with my entire life but now it's not just a possibility, it's a reality. It scares me sure, but that fear isn't just for me. It's for what I'll leave behind.

Kacchan

My mom

One for All

My Future

My friends

Even Angelina

I just wish I had more time to find closure for everyone, but the clock is ticking, my condition rapidly deteriorating.

"FUCK!" Kacchan's been cursing and pacing in my room furiously for a while now. I suspect it won't be long before he burns his trail right into the hardwood. "I don't understand what the hell got into you." Ah, we've circled back to this rant again. "Of all the things you could have done, shitty Deku. All the fucking things!" Though Kacchan's anger is directed at me at the moment, I know it's not really me that has him this way. He's upset and understandably so, we both are. But while he's crashing through his anger like a hurricane against the coast, I'm calmly internalizing it.

"I'm not going to apologize. She's sorry for what she did, and I believe her."

He stops mid step, piercing red eyes narrowing. "I fucking don't!"

Huffing in frustration, I sink lower into my mattress, kind of wishing it could just swallow me whole. "Kacchan" My tone is clipped, exasperated, "She's going to have to live with this for the rest of her life."

"In jail" he affirms halfheartedly.

"Yes, in jail. She made a mistake, and yes it cost me a lot-"

"A lot? No, Deku, it cost you everything! EVERYTHING!" He resumes his pacing, hands sparking with his rising anger. He's being ridiculous- like a child throwing a tantrum over spilled milk.

"Don't you think I know that?! I'm aware of what I'm losing here." He looks at me incredulously, not quite believing what I've said. For the first time since returning to my room, I notice the redness in his cheeks, the bags under his eyes and the un-Kacchan-like tears pooling, threatening to spill over the edge. The sight alone is enough to wreck me, washing away my own rising temper in an instant. He doesn't deserve this.

Sitting up a little straighter, folding my arms over my chest for some semblance of comfort I open my mouth to speak, though the words are difficult to push out over the lump that's formed in my throat. "You don't have to do this."

He narrows his eyes again, hands finding their way to his hips. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means… you don't have to go through this with me. I know I've said it before, but it was different then. Kacchan, all roads lead to the same cliff, and I can't let you fall with me." They're only words, but each one uttered feels like a dagger to my chest. I wish I didn't have to say them at all, but I can't be selfish about this anymore, not where he's concerned. Biting my bottom lip to keep from crying, I try to stay firm.

Surprise flashes over his features before darkening into that trademark scowl. He doesn't say anything at first, instead just stands there, the only sound being the soft whistle of breath in time with the aggravated rise and fall of his chest. His gaze trails over to the door and for the briefest second, I think he's actually going to leave. Instead he releases a frustrated sigh, dragging his hand quickly through his blond spikes as he does.

"Deku- Izuku…. I don't even know what to say to that anymore. Haven't I done enough? Haven't I proven myself, my intentions to you? Is it- is it because of how shitty I was to you in middle school?" His voice breaks as he says this, making me bite into my lip even harder while desperately shaking my head. How could he think that?

"N-No! I… I've forgiven you for all of that. Please don't feel that way."

"Then what is it that I'm not doing that I should be? What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm here to stay? I'm not about to leave just cause shit's hitting the fan. None of that changes how I feel about you." He swallowed hard, Adam's apple bobbing from the motion. "You know, when we first met, I thought you were this pitiful, freckle covered little brat with overly big eyes and grating voice."

Somewhat offended, I reply, "Um, where are you going with this?"

Rolling his eyes, he answers, "I'm fucking getting to it."

"Okay then..."

"My point is, over time, I've grown to realize that I was wrong about you. Everything I saw in you that I thought I hated, turns out it's what makes you, you. You aren't pitiful, you're fucking admirable and brave, sometimes to a fault. And those freckles I thought I hated? They're cute as fuck. Your big doe eyes are expressive, and kind and your voice is actually kind of soothing in most cases. And that's not even including how compassionate and smart you are. How you have the ability to brighten any room you walk into or that you are so inherently good that even the stone hearts like half-n-half and eyebags can't help but flock to you. If there's anyone who doesn't deserve someone, it's that I don't deserve you, but like fuck would I give you up without a fight because the fact is I… I love you, Izuku."

Did… did he really just say that? Did I hear that right? If the butterflies in my stomach or wildly beating heart are anything to go by, I think maybe he did. He's watching me carefully, waiting for my response with more patience than I thought he could muster. It feels like my brain is short-circuiting as everything he just said sifts through me on repeat, over and over again. He thinks my freckles are cute and he loves me. He said I'm compassionate and smart and he loves me. He admitted that I'm brave… and he loves me! This isn't fair. He was supposed to understand that his life would be better without me dragging him down too.

There's a lot I want to say to him, but for once I think I might actually be speechless. My mouth opens and closes several times, trying to make words happen but coming up short every time. But he's waiting, his patience wearing thin as his jaw noticeably tightens, lips pressed into a hard line.

"K-Kacchan loves me?" I know I should push him away but… I just can't. I've been through a lot, maybe I could have something selfish.

Walking over to me, he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close. His head tilts down until his lips brush against my ear, the words "more than I'd like to admit" passing between us.

His admission is humbling and just like that, my resolve to separate from him disperses into nothing. With tear-soaked eyes, I meet those captivating, carmine irises and seal both our fates. "I love you too, Kacchan. I think I always have."

Relief is evident in his tone though his melancholy expression reflects my feelings exactly. "Sorry it took me so long to figure my shit out, nerd."

"I'm sorry too."

A blond eyebrow quirks as he asks, confused, "What the hell for?"

"I'm sorry you had to love someone like me. Someone…. Not permanent."

"Nothing Is permanent, Deku."

"You know what I mean!"

"Well I'm not sorry. You're who I want, and some fucking sickness won't change that." His arms tighten around me as he says this, like he's afraid if he doesn't hold me down, I might float away.

A loud knock banging against the wood of my door startles us. Begrudgingly, I pull myself away from Kacchan to go and open the door. Silently, I'm praying it isn't any of my classmates, I don't have it in me to give them the bad news when I've barely had time to process it myself. When I open the door, I find All Might standing on the other side, the picture of misery with his puffy eyes, and forlorn expression.

"I trust Young Bakugou is in there with you? Mind if I come in?" Nodding, I step aside for him to enter while Kacchan falls onto my swivel chair with a sigh. Whatever moment we had is gone.

"Did you need something?" I probe politely, though I suspect it has to do with today's events.

"I just… wanted to make sure you're okay. I don't think what happened in there was the result anyone was hoping for-"

"That's the understatement of the fucking century" Kacchan interjects, ignoring the disgruntled look All Might shoots him.

It's a good question, one I don't have a clear answer to. Am I really okay? No, I'm not. Will I be able to power through the next few days until I find some sort of balance, some kind of acceptance? I think so. Instead of relaying all of that, I offer him a half smile with a shrug of my shoulders. He ruffles my hair and while the gesture is innocent enough, it makes me feel kind of sad.

While unexpected, his sudden presence does provoke a few questions I have now that I know what happened and what role OFA plays in it. I might as well ask them now that he's here and it's clear Kacchan and I will have to continue later. "Hey, All Might?"

"Yes, Young Midoriya?"

"I've been thinking- If she took my quirk from me and messed my DNA up then why wouldn't One for All have fixed it when you gave it to me?"

"I thought of that too actually and the best guess I can come up with is that perhaps One for All doesn't imbed itself in your DNA like a normal quirk. Maybe instead It becomes a part of you, but not so permanent that when you pass it on you sign your own death warrant. After all, if it did then no one would try to find a successor."

Though I was hopeful that maybe there was a secret behind OFA that could help me, I guess I can't refute the logic behind his answer. Deflating a little, I mumble an "Oh" under my breath as my shoulders sag just a little.

"There was one other thing I wanted to ask you. I uh- I was thinking maybe I should start thinking about my own successor. I was hoping you could help me with that." Try as I might, I could not stop the stream of tears from flowing as I asked All Might for his help. One for All changed my life in so many amazing ways and the idea of giving it up is soul crushing, but I know in my heart it's the right thing to do.

Kacchan immediately springs from the chair looking wild and ready to fight me. "Fuck that, Deku. There's no way you're just giving YOUR power to some half assed extra who doesn't know his foot from his own ass."

"I'm sorry to say this, but I have to agree with you, Midoriya." All Might offers a sympathetic look to the both of us while Kacchan is practically vibrating with fury. "Aizawa has asked me to help him deliver the news to the rest of your classmates so you can focus on rest. I'll uh, try to put a list together afterwards."

"Just so we're fucking clear, I don't want to find my name anywhere on that list. Got that, Old Man?" All Might nods his head to Kacchan's request before quietly opening and closing the door behind him.

With it just the two of us again, I take the hand of a very irate Kacchan and pull him on the bed with me. He doesn't fight me on it and instead shifts towards the wall, rolling onto his side to make more room. I make myself comfy, nestling up against the warmth and security that he provides while trying to release some tension. I know he's still mad, and I can't really blame him. I know making arrangements for OFA seems like I'm giving up and while all logic dictates that I should, I'm not willing to completely give into my fate just yet.

No, I'm going to continue to give it my all and strive to be the best because becoming a hero and helping people has always been important to me. There's things I won't be able to do, like the training camp that's only two weeks out or the third year internships that will only be a few months after camp, but there's still plenty I can do and plenty I can learn while I'm at UA. While everything else is kind of gray and fuzzy right now, the one thing I know for sure is that staying here with Kacchan and the rest of our class for as long as I can needs to take precedence.

I think we're both exhausted at this point and even though I'd like to stay up late and talk this over with Kacchan, it would be best to sleep on it for now and try to broach the topic again when we're both well rested and not working off sleep addled brains. Instead, I snuggle in close and with a sleepy lag to my tone, test out what might be my new favorite thing to say.

"I love you, Kacchan." As the words leave my lips, my heart feels like it's doing a happy dance, pumping waves of euphoria through my tainted blood.

"Love you too, nerd." His response was soft and sweet, all anger temporarily gone for now. As I drift off to sleep I can't help but think I also really like hearing it.