Okay, IMPORTANT NOTE: (If you've already read Dresden Files, you can skip straight to the story)
So, you guys know that I'm basically fusing Harry Potter and Dresden Files together. I've thought about it a little bit, and I figured I'd give those that don't know Dresden Files a short refresher course. This will not impact my regular chapter size (4000-5000), so don't worry your pretty little heads about that.
Things to know about Dresden Files:
I - Seven Laws of Magic: Phrased like commandments, given by the White Council, a group of True Mages that formed a sort of government.
1) Thou Shalt Not Kill. To be a little more specific, it forbids the killing of humans with magic. If you slit someone's throat with a knife, it's perfectly okay with the White Council.
2) Thou Shalt Not Transform Others. No Transfiguring other people in the laws of True Mages. They let Wand Mages get away with it because it's different governments.
3) Thou Shalt Not Invade the Mind of Another. Shit like Legilimency is a crime.
4) Thou Shalt Not Enthrall Another. Basically, no Imperius curse.
5) Thou Shalt Not Reach Beyond the Borders of Life. No necromancy, or else.
6) Thou Shalt Not Swim Against the Currents of Time. If a True Mage uses a Time Turner he is fucked.
7) Thou Shalt Not Open the Outer Gates. The Outer Gates are basically huge gates in Nevernever being guarded by the Gatekeeper (a powerful True Mage) and the armies of Winter. They're there to keep beings called the Outsiders out. Think of Outsiders as super powerful creatures that can't be killed.
Anyway, those were the seven laws. Breaking them results in an immediate death sentence unless someone vouches for them, makes sure the person reforms if he/she isn't too far gone from the psychological effects of being an asshole killer / mind rapist / necromancer / whatever. If they don't reform, they're killed.
II - Werewolves:
I'm going to use the werewolf system from Dresden Files.
1) In Dresden Files, a werewolf is simply a practitioner who can transform themselves into a wolf. Essentially, a wolf Animagus.
2) Lycanthropy, a magical condition that affects the human psyche, not the body. They retain the bodies of human beings. Lycanthropes act as a natural channel for a spirit of rage. They also possess accelerated healing, increased strength and speed. They're basically berserk Wolverine at all times.
3) Hexenwolf (or Hexenwulf/Hexenwulfen) is someone who transforms into a wolf-like beast using a magical item like a belt, an amulet, or a ring. The person basically makes a deal with a powerful demon or sorcerer to receive these items. After transforming, the talisman provides an anchor for a spirit of bestial rage, which wraps itself around the human personality, giving this kind wolf an edge over the others.
4) Loup-garou. Someone who transforms into a wolf-like demon during the full moon. Now, this might not seem different than Harry Potter's depiction of a werewolf, but a loup-garou is many times stronger than any werewolf in Harry Potter. They have supernatural speed, power, and ferocity, are very resistant to any form of injury and can recover extremely quickly. They're also immune to poison and mind-magic. The only possible way to hurt a loup-garou is with an inherited silver weapon of some kind— though I'm assuming creatures reaching the level of gods could probably also kill them.
In this story, Remus will be a loup-garou, born from a long line of them, because the curse of loup-garou is carried through bloodlines, and it is assumed the man's ancestor was given this curse for some reason which I won't specify.
III - Vampires:
1) Red Court: I've explained a few things about these vampires. They're bat-like monsters that hide under fake skins they call flesh mask. Cutting their bellies open usually drains them of their strength, since that's where they store all the blood they've eaten. Objects of faith can weaken them slightly, but not kill them. Other than that, they can die if they get their head chopped off, or crushed, or obliterated, etc.
Another thing to know is that their saliva is a narcotic. Something else to take note of; people who are infected by Red Court vampires don't turn into vampires themselves until they drink the lifeblood of another human. Some infected people choose not to feed, and join the Fellowship of Saint Giles, where they learn how to control their urges and other ways to keep themselves under control. If you wish to know more, look it up.
2) Black Court: The Black Court vampires are almost extinct, with a few of them scattered across the lands. They're the classic vampire: undead humans attacking live ones to drink their blood. They're the most well-known due to Bram Stoker writing "Dracula". Black Court vampires have enough strength to lift cars with one hand and crash through concrete walls without harm, but the book showed others how to kill these monsters, as well; they fear garlic, and objects of faith (crosses, holy water, etc.). Sunlight is also deadly to them.
3) White Court: They are the most human-like of vampires. They feed off of the emotions and life force of their prey. They like to avoid direct confrontation whenever possible, often scheming, enacting plans using others as proxies to hide behind. In Dresden, they refer to it as using "Cat's paws". They get their power from their Hunger, something they're born with. It gives them strength, power, and near immortality. Of course, to sate their Hunger, they feed on others, damaging their spirits which leaves the prey susceptible to the White Court vampires' allure.
Note that they cannot touch people who are in love with each other; true love.
IV - Nevernever? Realm of Darkness? Winter Court/Summer Court/Wyldfae? What the fuck are you on about, Zero Rewind?
Well, my good sir/ma'am, allow me to enlighten you.
The Nevernever is the spirit world, existing alongside our own as an alternate dimension. Its shape, though, is not the same as our world. It's much larger than the mortal world (so that it can encompass the entire universe). Nevernever touches the mortal world in places where they have something in common; a resonance of energy. So if there's a nice and fuzzy place in the mortal world, opening a way to Nevernever from there would lead you to a nice and fuzzy place in Nevernever.
The opposite works the same way. If you open a Way from a nearby slaughterhouse, or a dark alley, you'll get to somewhere horrific or dark.
So, what about the Realm of Darkness? The Realm of Darkness is my own creation. It's something of a dimension within Nevernever itself, and it allows you to go anywhere there is darkness (ie shade, dark room, dark alley, dark anything). Erebus has full control of the realm, and he knows exactly where everything is.
As for the faeries... Well, the land Faerie is part of Nevernever. A general rule when dealing with Faeries is to never accept any gifts, or entrap yourself in bargains with them, because you're likely to get fucked. They're like super powered lawyers who can make you give them your firstborn child without you even noticing.
It's ruled by the Faerie Courts; Summer and Winter. The Summer Court is comprised of Sidhe (noble faeries) who have power over fire (embodying life, creation, warmth), while the Winter Court is comprised of Sidhe who have power over ice (embodying death, destroying, and the cold darkness).
Summer has three Queens and a Knight: Mother Summer, the Summer Queen Titania, the Summer Lady Lily, the Summer Knight Fix (Yeah, I know, stupid name).
Winter also has three Queens and a Knight: Mother Winter (AKA Skuld, Athropos), the Winter Queen Mab (of Air and Darkness), the Winter Lady Maeve, and the Winter Knight Lloyd Slate (who is being endlessly tortured by Mab if I picked the correct time frame.)
Basically, both Courts are evil sonsofbitches, but at least the Winter Court do it in your face, while the Summer Court smile and stab you in the back.
Wyldfae are exactly that, wild faeries following no Court. Where they roam is no-man's land. You're on your own.
Take note, Goblins, Trolls, Ogres are all Faeries, but for the purposes of this story, I'll make a distinction between mortal Troll/Ogre/Goblin and the Faerie ones.
Any questions?
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any other fandom I manage to squeeze in this story.
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Lightning Dragon's Roar
A Harry Potter Fanfiction
By Zero Rewind
© 2015
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Chapter 50: Unwinding is Important
"Are you really sure you want to do this?" I asked for what seemed to be the hundredth time.
Daphne and I stood in front of each other, in the practice room. Shortly after I had explained to her what this camping trip entailed, she had asked to pit her magic against mine.
"Yes, Harry." She almost seemed irritated. "I wish to know how I measure up against the very best."
"And I'm your test?" I asked, feeling a little flattered but concerned. "I hate to tell you, Daph, but I'm nowhere near the top."
"True." She allowed. "But you are better than most Death Eaters out there. At the very least, I will finally know what my limits are."
Now that exclamation was quite telling.
The only way someone can actually say something as ludicrous as that is if their fights were a breeze.
How strong was she, then?
"Ready?" She asked, twirling her wand carelessly, gazing at me with an air of boredom.
I had never actually seriously dueled or sparred against the blonde haired girl, but from the confident, almost bored air she exuded… I gulped.
"All right. Any rules?" I asked, sighing.
"Let's try not to kill each other. But try not to hold back, either." She said with a smile.
"Fair enough." My lips quirked in amusement, raising my hand. "My Lightning Dragonslayer Magic versus your Wind Magic."
Lightning erupted from my hand for the briefest of moments. She stared, before mirroring my move. I felt the air around us shift with the power of her spell.
"Then, let's—" I cut her off by sending a Lightning Bolt in her direction. She seemed to be expecting it, though, as my Lightning simply circled around her form.
She jabbed her wand at me, and my own attack was sent right back at me. I was so surprised I only had enough time to put up my guard, the power smashing against my form. It was like I had just kicked myself with enough power to topple a horse.
My defenses held, and I lowered my arms. Daphne was openly smirking.
"Don't underestimate me!"
Oh, it's on now.
Lightning answered my call, flooding into my nerves and muscles. There was no fanfare.
"I won't. Prepare yourself, Daphne." I said calmly, before leaping right at her, electricity crackling around my form as I sent at least triple the power of the first strike at her wind shield. The Lightning slammed against her barrier, before being redirected at me yet again. I nimbly dodged my own power, and made to close the distance between us.
But my opponent had another idea.
Daphne made jabs with her wand at my direction.
It sounded almost exactly like the time I was busting out all of those meteor infected from the abandoned Luthorcorp complex.
The sound of bullets whizzing by my ear as they slammed into the wall behind me, cracking it slightly, was familiar.
One of the wind bullets smashed against my armored arm with the force of a rushing wildebeest, the kinetic energy from the strike forcing me to spin in midair.
I created footholds with my Lightning in order to stop the spinning, forcing my momentum to stop.
All of that potential energy was in my legs now.
So I flexed them, and leapt right off the foothold straight at Daphne.
The move surprised her— not enough for her to not slash her wand in my direction, an invisible blade of wind impacting against my scaled right arm— but long enough for me to close the distance between us, and thrust an Edge through her wind barrier.
The barrier held for a few seconds, before breaking completely under the force of my Lightning.
I stopped my Edge as soon as the break occurred.
I didn't want to kill her, now did I?
There was silence, for a few moments.
I lowered my arm, and took a breath. "Wow. You've changed a lot since the days of the DA. I can tell that you weren't giving it your all, though."
She looked at me for a long moment, before putting her wand back into its wrist holster.
"You weren't, either. You still won, though." She said, sounding a little disappointed.
"If you'd known how my powers work." I said in a placating tone, my Lightning no longer charging every cell in my body. "You might have kept me at bay much longer, which would have given you enough time to plan something out."
"I suppose." She sighed, still not letting it go.
"I'm serious!" I said. "Those wind blades were fierce! And those wind bullets would have punched holes through me. If my right arm wasn't so sturdy, I think I would have been down for the count."
Daphne considered the words, before nodding.
"Fair enough."
"Having fun, you two?" I heard a familiar voice. We both turned to see Remus standing in the doorway, looking a little disheveled, but otherwise okay.
Sirius' head popped right next to Remus. The Animagus grinned at us.
"Is this what the young ones call 'foreplay', now?" The black haired man jibed.
"Yes." Daphne smirked, twirling her ponytail. "Something you haven't gotten in over a decade, sadly."
"Oooh, you might need to go see a Healer for that one, Sirius." I said in amusement, extending a fist to Daphne. She bumped it, before latching onto me, kissing my cheek.
Sirius grimaced, but didn't take as much offense as I thought he would. You know, considering the reason for him not getting any was because he was behind bars. Remus looked amused.
I grabbed Erebus from the side of the practice room, placing the sheath on my side, before I went over to greet the man. The two of us exchanged brief hugs.
"I'm so glad you're all right." The man said softly. "We had thought you lost to us."
"I'm fine. I'm fine." I smiled. "I came back to deal with our good old friend V."
"Interesting way of referring to Him." Remus noted.
"Why? What do you call him?" I asked curiously.
"Sirius has been insisting that we call him 'that fucker'." Remus shook his head. "Of course, saying You-Know-Who or Him or He is much easier for me."
"That Fucker." I repeated. Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "I like it."
Sirius held his hand out. Remus sighed and money was exchanged between the two.
"I thought for sure he wouldn't agree with that name." Remus muttered, before we all moved to the kitchen.
We sat down, and chatted for a while to catch up.
"So, you and Tonks?" I started.
The man looked surprised for a second, before turning his gaze to Sirius.
"I told them." He admitted.
"Right." He looked a little exasperated. "Yes. Nymphadora and I have been seeing each other."
"Wait a second. Nymphadora? She lets you call her that?" Daphne asked, one eyebrow delicately raised. "She almost bit my head off when I called her that."
"I suppose I am a little… special." Remus had an odd look on his face.
I turned to Sirius and mouthed "why".
"Likes hearing her name in sex." Sirius leaned forward and whispered.
Ah, that made sense.
Of course, it would be something like that.
But wait, how did Sirius know about that? I opened my mouth to talk.
"Harry." Erebus called out.
Remus jumped in alarm, not having expected the sound.
"At ease, Moony." I said immediately, snorting in amusement at the fact I had just said that. "Meet my sword, Erebus. Erebus, this is Moony."
"Nice to… meet you." Remus said, taking a few breaths to calm down.
"A creature of the Dark?" Erebus said. I got the distinct feeling the sword was looking upon the werewolf a bit curiously. "A loup-garou, at that. How very unexpected."
Remus stiffened. "How did you—"
"I can feel these things, child." Erebus chided gently. "The Dark within you is powerful, very powerful, but you cannot control it."
"It's a curse." Remus said shortly. "Nothing but a curse that I never asked for."
"Is that so?" Erebus mused. "Power handed down to others can often be seen as a curse, if it is treated with disrespect. Some food for thought, loup-garou; inner peace can only be achieved through communication."
"It's a monstrous creature willing to destroy all that I love and hold dear." Remus almost snarled.
"I never said it would be easy. If it was easy, then every loup-garou in existence would have controlled their powers."
"You're saying it's—"
"It is possible, yes."
The dark blade stayed quiet for a few seconds, before resuming.
"Harry." Erebus said. "I have unlocked the information of That Fucker's remaining puzzle pieces."
"Heh, so he likes the nickname, too." Sirius muttered bemusedly.
I perked up, and got off the chair.
"Sorry, Remus." I smiled sadly. "But I'm going to have to leave, now. There's an important mission Dumbledore entrusted me to see through, something he was working on while he was alive."
"Harry, you can't leave!" Remus immediately pleaded. "We need you! The Order needs you."
"Trust me." I didn't budge. "This is more important. That Fucker has enacted some very powerful enchantments to protect some extremely powerful artifacts. If I don't destroy them, we will never win."
"But." I continued, noting his downtrodden manner. "There is one thing I would like to do before I disappear."
"What is that?" Sirius asked curiously. "Masturbate?"
"No— well, okay, that'd be nice—ow!" Daphne elbowed me. "Okay fine, I'll let you do the work, just stop trying to kill me."
"What I want to do is relax a bit." I said, surprising the rest with the unexpected words. "Maybe it's been months for you guys, but for me, I've had to go to Temen Ni Gru, fight the strongest beings I've ever seen, get kidnapped and experimented on, escape, fight off my pursuers, go to the kidnapper's second location, fight some crazy bitch with telekinesis, escape the complex while dodging bullets, come back here and immediately fight some Death Eaters, and to top it all off, I immediately went to sack the Red Court before they killed everything in London, and now I have to do this mission to save the rest of Britain!"
I hadn't even realized I was getting worked up until I took note of my heavy breathing.
Woah, that was a load off of my shoulders, right there.
Daphne rubbed my back, and I fought to calm myself down.
"I—" Remus hesitated, suddenly looking extremely guilty. "I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't—"
Ugh, now I'm feeling a little bad for unloading on the guy. Remus was already plenty miserable on his own and I just had to add to it.
"It's all right." I said immediately. "Sorry. I don't know where all of that came from."
"What you said was spot on." Remus said. "We all need some rest, it seems. What would you like to do?"
My eyes flitted to the direction of my room. There was a perfectly good computer in there. So the decision was made.
"I'm going to my room to play games and generally be a lazy, useless person who doesn't contribute to society for the rest of the day." I said. "Then I'm going to sleep. And tomorrow, we'll start. Daphne, you can come too."
"I'm honored to be included." She said sarcastically, but with an understanding smile.
After saying a quick goodbye to everyone, I slowly dragged my lazy carcass towards my room; my inviting, awesome room with a computer, internet, and games!
Daphne followed, looking amused.
I skirted past the bulky anti-magic square thing that seemed to nullify the effect of magic on machinery, rested Erebus on my bed, sat down on the well-used, but still comfortable chair, put my headset on, and pushed the power button.
Daphne plopped herself right next to the sentient weapon, and began to chat with it. She kicked off her boots. I looked at her for a second. Even in combat clothes, she was hot enough to make my mind go crazy.
But, I really wanted to play, however juvenile that sounds. Screw you, I have my needs, just like everyone else!
"So, what do you do for fun?" Daphne rolled over to the sword.
"Oh, you know, sleep in a dark pit…" Erebus said. "Wait for idiot kids to pass by my hole, lure them in and try to kill them."
I twitched in irritation. Erebus was talking about me.
"Why?"
"Have you tried surviving for millennia without food? It's awful."
"Okay, good point. What about…" I stopped paying attention.
The computer took its sweet time to boot up.
"On second thought." I said, before getting up. "Maybe a quick bathroom break as it loads up. I'll be right back, Daphne!"
She smiled in my direction, before animatedly talking to Erebus again; something about wind manipulation. Wow, she'd taken to this fighting thing really well.
I passed by the kitchen; Remus and Sirius were chatting.
I crept by, not wanting to grab anyone's attention. I heard my name being mentioned and stopped to listen in.
"He'll be all right." Sirius said. "Don't worry about it."
"I don't know." Remus said, sounding pained. "I didn't want to come off as expecting him to end the war for us. I didn't even realize how I was sounding until—"
"Look." Sirius cut him off, a little more harshly than he intended. "I understand. I am making conscious efforts to not ask him. We know exactly what he's capable of. He and Dumbledore took on an army of Death Eaters outside of Azkaban and demolished them."
Well, that wasn't quite how it played out, but I was glad for the praise. I stayed there longer.
I was not eavesdropping, just… gathering information. That's it.
"You should have seen him at Temen Ni Gru." Sirius said in wonder. "He fought on even footing against the likes of Cerberus, and Lilith. Not even Tristan could do that. And he's only gotten stronger since then; made new, formidable allies, one of which is Erebus, the Emperor of Darkness. Destroyed one of the Red Court lords."
"What?" Remus almost spit out.
"Yeah, they killed a Lord of Outer Night."
"Impossible!" Remus immediately said. "How?"
"It doesn't matter. He's done it." Sirius said. "These incredible, god-like feats… they make you forget something important about Harry."
Remus was silent for a while. I waited for his answer.
"I think I understand." Remus finally said. "Deep down, underneath all of that, he's still just a fifteen year old boy, one who's had too much taken from him, too fast. And everyone just keep taking, and taking from him. Eventually, there will be nothing left."
My throat constricted as they spoke. They were right. I just didn't like dwelling on it.
"I won't let that happen." Sirius said. "We've went through too much. If Harry tells me that he doesn't want to fight anymore, that he wants to run? I will support him. To hell with everyone else. We don't owe them anything."
There was a long silence.
"… You're right, old friend." Remus said.
"Come now, Moony." Sirius said. "We're still young!"
"Heh." The loup-garou said. "Do you think Harry's sword is right? About the…"
"I honestly don't know." Sirius said. "Have you ever tried? You know, talking to the beast."
"It doesn't listen." Remus said. "All it wants to do is kill, kill and kill some more. I considered it a miracle beyond miracles that Harry and the others weren't killed by me during my time as Professor at Hogwarts."
"Or maybe," Sirius cut in. "Somewhere in that beast's mind, it recognized the only family it has left."
"…" Remus had no answer.
"You remember how Prongs would piss you off by literally pissing on you when you were transformed?" Sirius asked suddenly.
I suppressed a snort.
"You just had to bring that up, didn't you?"
"Oh come on! It was all in good—"
I had heard enough. I went to the bathroom, did my business, and went back to my room, a smile on my face. Daphne sat on the bed, her legs crossed, hunched slightly forward, eyes closed, hands slightly apart from each other.
I could feel a breeze in the room. Erebus was leaning against her, the sword still in his sheath. What were they doing?
"Do you feel it?" The sword asked. "The serene power of the wind between your palms."
"Yes." She all but whispered in awe. "But how?"
"Your affinity to the element of wind was quite strong, for a wand mage." Erebus vibrated against her back slightly. "I merely unlocked its full potential… A boost, if you will. A wand is a powerful focus, but it will ultimately hold you back when channeling the all-encompassing power of the wind. With this, you can become the wind's medium. A Mistress of Air."
"You're saying my wind spells will be much stronger when I do them wandlessly?" Daphne said, finally opening her eyes and letting go of the power. The breeze stopped. "That doesn't make any sense. Magic doesn't work like that."
"Your species' limited understanding of the world's energy never ceases to amuse. The boy has already shown the world his powers over Lightning, so the same can apply for you." Erebus said lightly. "Why don't you try it out, then?"
She started a spell.
"Not in my room, please!" I said immediately.
Daphne cut off her power, giving me a quick, irritated look.
I didn't budge.
It took a while to set up my computer, I didn't want to use the Confundus on another worker and rewire the place because someone fried my machinery. That was just too much effort, especially when someone can use their mojo elsewhere.
"You can practice all you want in the practice room." I said with an equally annoyed gaze. "I don't want you frying my rig."
"Oh, fine." She huffed, before getting up to leave. "Can I take Erebus with me?"
"Oh, sure." I said easily. "That's fine. Erebus, treat her like you would treat me."
"Yeah, okay."
"Atta boy."
And the duo left to practice.
I sat down on my chair again. The computer was booted up. I closed up some of the windows requesting I update some software, before checking my list of games on Steam.
"Wow, Sirius has been busy." I said, looking a little incredulous at the number of games in my Library.
Prior to this, I had just been pirating the majority of my games; partly because I didn't like to pay for stuff (who does?), and partly because I was in that "screw authority, I'll do what I want" mood, back when I was first discovering my new powers.
After looking at the various game titles, I decided to fire up my browser instead, and log on to my email account, which I called 'thezapslayer' in a fit of pique.
There were a few useless messages from miscellaneous sites wanting to hook me up with some scantily clad Russian women, mail from petition sites, etc.
I sent Dudley a quick email, telling him that I was fine and that I would see them as soon as I was done with the war against That Fucker.
I pressed send, and smiled.
It was time to game.
So naturally, an hour later, after lurking on 4chan and subjecting myself to the horrific imagery in its daily "rekt" thread— one of which is a video of a grown Asian mean tearing a small, fluffy white kitten to shreds with his teeth (complete with cringe inducing audio)— I finally launched the first game that looked interesting to me.
Ten minutes in, I was already hooked.
The title seemed promising enough. I figured a game toting around the name "Chivalry: Medieval Warfare" would have some sword fighting in it.
I was right.
And it was glorious.
The first few games, I just kept getting destroyed by other players. I fell for their traps, their feints, their blocks, but then I got the hang of it. People started dying by my hand, and it was the most amazing thing, ever.
"Your parents! Are they siblings!?" I heard one of the players taunt, and almost lost it right there.
The next ten seconds were spent trying to figure out how to taunt them myself.
Naturally, I spammed the living fuck out of it.
"Oooh! He is smart like my shoe!" My guy said, as he swung a sword into someone's face. My enemy dropped dead instantly. I could see the appeal of this game with every murder I committed in the name of some king or whatever.
"Hoo-hoo! I do declare you're open to incontinence!" A guy from behind me said as my screen turned red, signifying the fact that I'd received a lot of damage. I turned around, and made to stab my attacker, but it was too late. Another stab and my character died.
My killer began to teabag me while apologizing over and over. It was enough to make a priest go on a killing spree.
But I merely stifled a few choice curses and calmly waited for my respawn timer to run out so I could have my sweet revenge on this player.
Thus the next few hours were spent unwinding, relaxing, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HOW DID HE DODGE THAT HIT? Ha! Gotcha bitch! Thought you could escape the wrath of the mighty Harry Potter!? Think again!
…Maybe not fully relaxing, but I was having fun, at least.
A little halfway through, I felt a little guilty for playing around while people were dying out there, but, after some intense thinking (IE playing games for another hour), I figured that Sirius was right.
I needed to unwind, just like everybody else did.
I snickered as I spammed the "HEEELP" taunt over and over as I went through knight after knight, before getting shot down by an archer. A few more minutes passed, before I finally had my fill of this game.
I exited the program, before launching my browser again, and immediately jumping on /b/.
"Trap thread. Skip." I said, scrolling down the page. I found a "you laugh you lose" thread, and amused myself on it for a while. Having been away for months, I actually got to see some new, hilarious content.
I exited the thread with a grin, and opened up another thread.
It was a screenshot of a guy's phone conversation with a girl, and his caption was "22 decides what I tell her". For those of you idiots who've never been on 4chan, that means the OP will look for posts ending with 22, and write whatever they wrote to the girl on the phone.
So, for example, if the post number was No. 647850022, and the post said something like "wanna suck my microdick", the OP would be forced to write that sentence to the girl.
It was a pastime for those who were supremely bored, but I lurked on threads like these because I wanted to see how uh… creative people could get.
I read a few, oddly amused at the abundance of "can I have sex with your dad" requests. A few won the rolls, but, sadly, the OP did not deliver. Rage ensued.
I checked other threads out.
"What the ever living fuck is going on in the world?" I read one of the post titles. It looked intriguing enough, so I clicked it.
It read:
"I know you've all noticed it over the past few months. Something's up; the weather's been insane: heat waves in the middle of winter-time, the intense cold in May. Then, there's the shit that went down at Prato, Italy, a few months ago. The governments said that it was nothing to worry about, but those leaked drone videos showed fucking monsters, and the tower itself looks like the Babel tower. So, demons?" That gave me pause.
"Remember a few months before that, when people were getting attacked on the streets by creeps with sticks (wands, I guess)? That one guy that killed one of those 'magicians', I forgot his name." I remembered that incident. The guy had filmed himself killing a Death Eater, and taking his the dead wizard's belongings, before being arrested for first degree murder by the local police.
I kept on reading. "It feels like the world is getting more screwed up than usual. Just look at the UK. Britain's disappearances have at least quadrupled in the last year. People are getting snatched right outside— or even inside— of their homes, no warning, and no follow up from the police."
This muggle had a lot of insight.
"Then there are the so called meteorites that exploded over the North Pacific Ocean. The footage shown didn't look like any meteorite we've ever seen; and why was the U.S. Air Force all over that, anyway? Wouldn't that be something for the Navy or the Coast Guard to take care of?"
That rang a bell with me. I opened up those sealed documents that I had acquired a long time ago, and lightly skimmed them. I was right, the U.S. Air Force were the ones who ran the Stargate Program. Could this have anything to do with it?
"Not to mention the shit that went down at the O'Hare International Airport— that's near the city of Chicago, in the States— with the eviscerated, tortured old man and the guy that uses a fucking noose as a tie; or the Russian satellite that dropped down onto Paolo Ortega's castle property in Honduras. Satellites don't just quit their orbit and drop down places— the odds of that happening are astronomical, even much worse if they hit a specific target dead center. And, the satellite had dropped straight down. If it were natural, in any way, the satellite's descent would have been at an angle."
"Not to mention the destruction of Horai Mountain in Japan. The amateur footage showed a black haired Japanese kid wearing a red silk Chinese shirt and throwing out energy balls and tornadoes like candy, and his opponent was even worse! Everyone discounted it as some kind of viral video gimmick, but, these days, I can't even tell, anymore."
"And this is all we're just aware of. Things are getting worse, and worse. No one's doing anything about it. What do you guys think?"
I thought about replying to the message, to tell the poster that he was right; that the world really was getting worse, but what good would it serve?
I sighed and refreshed the page.
Someone had replied.
"TL;DR." The reply said.
I palmed my face.
"But seriously, though." The reply continued. "I think you're right. We've all noticed this in our own spots in the world. I actually live in Chicago, and I know which event you're talking about; I also know that a guy called Harry Dresden— a guy who lists himself as 'wizard' on the yellowpages— was involved somehow at that airport. The guy's been at the center of all the supernatural shit that's been going down here too. Seeing as the city hasn't completely descended to hell, I'm guessing he's the one saving our asses, in this part of the world."
There were no more replies. I refreshed the page. The next few replies were a few idiots mocking the first two for saying magic and monsters are real; naturally, a flame war started.
I sighed, and closed the browser, before starting another game of Chivalry.
The world was getting weirder and scarier, and I would be doing something about that, for sure.
Just not tonight.
"Agathaaaaaa!" My player bellowed out as my platoon of warriors charged ahead to bash down the gates of a castle.
Tonight I went to war.
Fun, fun, fun war.
oooooooooo
So, for the Horai Mountain reference, where do you think I got that from?