The dance wasn't going as planned. In fact, it was a disaster. Breakfast Princess sighed. She was hoping to find some human officials to isolate and speak with. Maybe she could convince one of them to make an alliance with her kingdom. But most of the important looking humans left in a hurry when the dance was announced. Those that were left were swarmed by guest in the room.

At first, she tried competing in the frenzy. She would tear a human away from another princess and try to dance and speak about any political concern she could think of. But she immediately ran into several problems. Most of the humans she isolated weren't very important. A councilwoman's aid, a musician, a painter. She even accidently stole Finn at one point. That conversation had been awkward. Then there was the fact that she knew very little about what the humans wanted or needed. Sure, the people she spoke to had their own concerns, but nothing that her kingdom could help with. The council aid had an idea of what the human leadership was concerned with. But when they began listing the immediate concerns of the leadership, she quickly found herself overwhelmed. She excused herself and sat on the sidelines.

She was a princess. She was supposed to be politically knowledgeable. But most of the breakfast kingdom's affairs were so different than what she found here. She didn't know anything about, nor did she have to worry about low agricultural yields or a lack of resources for building and maintaining staple human technologies. She didn't even have advisors who were trained in economic development or risk management. She thought that diplomacy with the humans would be easy, but they didn't even have a princess— how backwards.

More importantly, she had no idea what the human's intentions were. Marlo was convinced they would try to split the continent with the candy kingdom. But this was a bit far-fetched. How would this small settlement come to dominate an entire continent? Even with unknown technologies, they were still horribly outnumbered. She sighed again.

She thought she was a good princess. She hosted princess days. She always had the adoration of her people. She had a larger and better-looking kingdom than most of the others. So, why wasn't she doing well here? It wasn't like the other princesses were doing all that well- except for Bubblegum.

She turned her head. Bubblegum wasn't trying to compete for the remaining humans' attention. She was happily dancing in the corner with the vampire queen without a care in the world. Why would she care? She had been sitting up top with the council members. She had been given a private tour by that elder guy. Her girlfriend's adoptive father had been publicly asked to represent the humans across Ooo. She didn't need to compete with anyone, she was in a league of her own.

And she always was. The candy kingdom was the oldest, and the most advanced of Ooo's kingdoms. Bubblegum could outmaneuver any princess politically, and between her espionage and military, could strongarm other kingdoms into agreements or backing down through the threat of force. And despite this, all of the princesses had heard what happened in the candy kingdom's first encounter with human technology. They lost hard. Their military and defense forces were useless. Finn and Jake barley managed to put down the tech or the woman. It was a one-time vulnerability, but it was enough to show who was top of the food chain. If the candy kingdom and humans joined together, they'd be unstoppable. Other than that, the only real conflicts the candy kingdom had been in recently only served to show how untouchable the candy kingdom already was.

And before the humans arrived, everyone was okay with that. Sure, Bubblegum did shady stuff. And she did consider herself better than everyone else in the room. But she was never hostile—at least now. Many princesses heard rumors from the older candy citizens. She was supposed to have been ruthless in the past. But candy citizens weren't the most reliable sources of information. They probably defined ruthless as her telling them to stay inside the walls of the city or something.

Yet she still committed questionable actions. She imprisoned people for seemingly no reason. "Phony weddings" or "tax evasion" she would say. She spied on everyone she deemed as threat. The breakfast kingdom prided itself on not being one of the named kingdoms in her espionage apology. But looking back, that just showed how little of a threat the breakfast kingdom was perceived to be. Then of course were all the actions she did in the name of keeping peace. She sabotaged the fire kingdom- an event that should have led to war. But flame princess not only backed down, but became one of her closest allies! Then she was always butting heads with the wizards in rhetoric. But they still considered her a friend of their kingdom for some reason.

She looked away from the dancing couple. She turned her head to Finn, currently being sucked under a growing dogpile of princesses. And then there was this issue. Finn was the hero of Ooo. But his loyalty was to Bubblegum. Sure, he wasn't the most powerful person. But when you thought of hero, it was Finn's name and face that came to mind. And he lived in and served the candy kingdom.

Speaking of power, she turned her head back to Marceline. Emotionally, she was actually happy for them. But politically, this was a disaster. You didn't mess with Marceline. She was probably the best fighter on the continent- a one-woman army. For a long time, she was isolated. She didn't mess with anyone unless they bothered her. Well, that wasn't completely true. She was a prankster but trying to stop her through force or law just got you pranked harder. And there wasn't anything you could do about it. In any case, she was beyond politics. For the longest time, the only other monarch she was concerned with protecting was the Ice King. If the princesses tried to arrest him or steal his crown away when he was sleeping, she went livid.

She shuddered. There was a story her mother had told her. Where an older generation of princesses did capture him. They invited him to a party. They asked him to take off his crown as part of a hat-swap. The old man eagerly accepted. Then they bound him in ropes and chains and were going to haul him off to a shared prison complex, only for Marceline to come crashing through the window. Within seconds, all of the guards were down and the Ice King freed. She took the crown and tossed it at him and left without a word. At least now everyone knew why she protected him.

And now she might offer that same protection to the candy kingdom and potentially the human settlement. What stopped either from simply hitting the Marceline button and wiping away any resistance?

People were on the move. Marlo walked by her- he didn't even look at her- and was talking with Simon. Finn, Bubblegum, and Marceline were there too. Then they all left.

What was Marlo doing? He was supposed to be her ally! Was he really defecting to Bubblegum?

Could she blame him? Everything was over. That big defensive pact made attacking or even debating the alliance members impossible. She sulked. For a minute, she considered following them. She got up and started walking towards the door. But then she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see the councilwoman's aid.

"Someone important would like to speak with you."

Maybe this wasn't an absolute failure. This unknown person wasn't a princess, but they must be important of the council aid came on their behalf. She hadn't met any important humans before. But if one was seeking her out, maybe she had some kind of leverage or reputation. A thought pierced her mind and her legs became heavy. What if this was about the protest earlier? What if this person was going to tell her to leave?

"Breakfast Princess? Are you coming?"

She swallowed.

"Yes. But do you know what this meeting will be about?"

"They didn't say."

Well, an odd meeting of unknown purpose was better than knowing she was going to get kicked out. She followed the council aid out the door and down the long winding hallway. As they rounded the corner, they came face to face with a figure. She was nearly covered from head to toe and carried a red handbag. Breakfast Princess made out a few details. Green eyes, dark hair shoved under a hat, the top of a red dress. The figure's mouth was curled into a forced smile. The aid backed away, leaving the princess and unknown figure alone.

"Thank you for meeting with me on such short notice princess."

It was an odd situation, but if this was someone important, Breakfast Princess knew she needed to muster all of her social graces.

"The pleasure is mine. I have not been able to meet many humans as of yet. May I ask your name?"

The figure shifted their weight. The green eyes blinked in confusion. For a second, the smile turned into a grimace before quickly switching back.

"My name, or any proper introduction isn't important right now. But what is important is that you get some information. You're interested in the intentions of the candy kingdom with the humans, correct?"

"Yes. I tried asking around, but no one seems to know anything."

"Well, I can't promise I know anything for certain. But I have here two books. The first is from our settlement's library. It details many events within human history, politics, exploration, and the like. The past is often a clue for future intentions."

The figure reached into their handbag and produced an aged brown covered book. Its author and title lost to time and erosion.

"The second book I have is one I have not read as of yet. I procured it from Ooo's library."

"How? Turtle Princess doesn't let anyone take books from the library. Especially ones that would be that old."

"I was able to convince a certain… acquaintance of hers to deliver it for me. They were very happy I wanted to be their friend, even though they were already married."

Breakfast Princess shrugged. Not many people could convince Turtle Princess to break rules, especially library rules. But this acquaintance must be in Turtle Princess's good graces.

"This book is about the history of the candy kingdom. I cannot speak to its accuracy since I'm not from here. But much of it is written by previous inhabitants of the land. I'm sure you will have an easier time discerning truth from fiction or exaggeration than I, or any other human would."

The figure produced a slightly less aged pink covered book. This book's cover was still legible. In place of an author's name was simply the word Canyon.

"Please read through these. You may not like everything you see, but it is important that you learn about them. Humans can be very… unpredictable."

"Thank you. Is there anything I can do in return for your help?"

"You can spread the information you find in both texts. Like I said, some of it may present the humans in a less than favorable light, but it is important that Ooo's kingdoms know human history before working with them- or deciding not to."

The figure turned and left. Breakfast Princess stared at the two aged books for a minute before walking away. She needed to flip through them. If they could provide any insight to the current situation, they would be helpful. Maybe they would even help her understand some of the issues the humans were going through.

She left the cultural center and walked down the road. She wandered for a bit looking for somewhere to sit down and read. Most places were closed- figures. She did spot an open ice cream parlor with outdoor tables. She sat down and opened the book on human history to the table of contents. A couple of chapters were circled. She looked at these titles trying to decide a starting point between them. They read:

Settler-Colonialism in the Americas: Treaties, Conquest, and Genocide.

Europe: 1930-1945

The Looting Machine: How Africa was and Continues to be Pillaged by Imperialists and Kleptocrats

Australia's lost population: The Story of the Aboriginals

Empires: From Rome to Mongolia to the Ottomans.

Political Games and How to Play them