"Phil?" Melinda May called over the BUS's speaker system. "Are you close to a window? We have a problem!"
"What in the…." Coulson looked out one of the plane's windows and blinked hard. He could't be seeing what he thought he was seeing. A giant wall of thorns completely covering the Hub? Why would a giant wall of thorns be completely covering the Hub? He blinked again, turning his head for a moment before looking back. They were still there and it definitely looked like thorns, covering the Hub so thickly that he could barely tell there was a building beneath. What had the scientists there been working on that had caused that? He got to his feet and started towards the cockpit to talk to Melinda. There had to be a distress call going out from the Hub to go along with those thorns.
"AC!" Skye came hurrying in with a guilty looking Jemma and Fitz behind her. "Have you looked out? Did you see the thorns?"
"Sir, what's going on?" Jemma asked. All of those thorns, and did they just cover the outside of the building or could they be on the inside too?
"I'm not sure what's going on. I was about to go and see if the Hub's sending out any messages." Coulson said.
"A giant wall of thorns?" Skye and the two scientists followed him as he headed for the cockpit. "I know Agent Hand doesn't like our team much, but she's turned to gardening to keep us away from her now?"
"Maybe she found out about ?" Fitz speculated.
"Match…. What?" Coulson stopped and turned to look at them. Simmons was looking extremely guilty. That didn't seem good. What had they done that would undoubtedly lead to a very angry Victoria?
"Online dating." Jemma said. "It's an online dating site. It was Skye's idea, Sir!"
"You wrote the profile for it! And Fitz found the picture! Don't blame it all on me!" Skye said. "We were just trying to help Agent Hand out. She's so cranky all the time and I got to thinking that maybe if she got out more and met someone nice…"
They had signed Victoria up for online dating? Suddenly the thorns were making sense, although he would have really expected Victoria to just try shooting them down. "We are going to have a very long talk about this after I calm Victoria down." He said with a glare at the three of them before starting towards the cockpit again.
"Sir, we really were trying to help her." Jemma said as they trailed along behind him. "There are some very nice people online. We're sure if she gave it a chance…."
"We will talk about this later. Any signals from the Hub telling us what's going on?" Coulson asked as he came into the cockpit. "Or threats to shoot us down?" But with all of the thorns, were any of the Hubs defenses even working?
"Nothing." Melinda said and then looked at Skye and Fitzsimmons. "What did they do that might make Victoria want to shoot us?"
"They signed her up for online dating." Coulson said. "You're not picking up anything?"
"Online dating? They signed her up for…." Now Melinda was really worried. Their junior team members had signed Victoria up for online dating, and she wasn't on the comm, letting them know what she was going to do when she got her hands on them? "We could set down outside of the Hub if we have to."
"Do it. We need to find out what's going on." Coulson said. Radio silence. The more he thought about that, the more worried he felt. Radio silence and a building covered with thorns? What was going on?
"Sir, are those thorns out there?" Ward said as he came into the cockpit, that was getting very cramped. "What did the scientists do?"
"I don't have a clue. We're going to sit down outside, and see if we might have better luck getting in touch with someone inside from the ground." Coulson said. "And once we figure out what's going on, I'll be having a very long talk with the three of you about proper respect for senior agents."
"Proper respect for…." Ward put out a hand and stopped Fitzsimmons and Skye as they followed Coulson out of the cockpit so Melinda could breathe and hopefully land the plane. "What did you do to Agent Hand?"
"Signed her up for ." Fitz told him.
"We were trying to help her!" Skye added. "She's always so grumpy, and I thought if she got out, and found a nice girlfriend…."
"You signed Agent Hand up for…. Where was I when you did this?" He was supposed to be supervising the three of them. Victoria was probably going to have a long talk with his dad when she found out what an awful job he had done of supervising the science bunnies and Skye.
"In the shower." Jemma said.
In the shower. Wonderful. He couldn't even take a shower without the rabbits he was assigned to watch getting into trouble. So he was either going to have to give up personal hygiene or…. "We will be showering together from now on."
"Showering together? Co-ed showers, not what I signed up for." Skye said. "And could four people even fit into the shower anyway?"
"We'll all wear blindfolds. It will be fine. And we'll save water. It will be good for the planet." Should he call his dad and tell him what Skye and the bunnies had done, so he would know to expect an angry call from Victoria later in the day? No, better to keep quiet and cling to the likely futile hope that Coulson and Melinda could talk her down and convince her that really no harm had been meant. Yeah, he was probably dreaming if he thought that would happen.
"Still no signal?" Coulson asked Melinda when she joined them at the slowly lowering exit ramp ten minutes later.
"Nothing. I'm getting worried." Melinda said. She hadn't been able to pick up any sort of signal from the HUB. If this was a response to what Fitzsimmons and Skye had done, they ought to be picking up threats, and if it was a science experiment gone crazy, shouldn't they be hearing a call for help? She had even tried Victoria's cell phone with no response. Was it possible that those thorns were in the building too, instead of just covering the outside? No, she shook her head, pushing away the horrible images that conjured up as the ramp fully lowered and they heard voices.
"Do you think there will be a dragon soon? There was a dragon before with this, wasn't there?" Hildy asked.
"If there is a dragon this time, Jory will talk to her and convince her to go on her way, " Hela looked up from the phone she was holding as she heard the noise of the plane landing. "Darcy, could you please hold this?" She said as she passed the intern's phone back to her. "I think there are some people here I need to make an apology to."
It was worse than she had expected. Not that apologizing to a random Shield official was something she was looking forward to after what her father had done, but this was infinitely worse. Why did the first awake Shield agent on the scene have to be Agent Coulson?
"Excuse me, but is that a snake?" Skye demanded. "An alarmingly large snake?"
"And does that horse have more legs than usual, or do I need to get my eyes examined?" Fitz asked.
Coulson barely held back a moan. Giant snake, large wolf, horse with eight legs and a girl who…. Okay, she didn't fit the mythological description, but other than that the group matched perfectly. Loki's kids.
"Good day, Agent Coulson!" Hela called. "I would like to offer my most humble apologies for this…." But was there really a good way to put an incident that was going to result in the poor man's co-workers taking an extremely long nap? "I'm very sorry about the thorns. We are trying to work out how to remove them right now, I promise you."
"You're from Asgard, aren't you?" But what place could produce a group like this besides Asgard?
"I'm Lady Hela, princess of Asgard, and queen of Helheim and Neifheim." Hela said with a wince. "My brothers Jormungundr, Fenrir and Sleipnir, my maid and friend Leah, and my apprentice Hildy. I really am very, very sorry about the thorns. They will be gone shortly. I hope."
"This is from Asgard?" Melinda asked. Phil looked like he was about to demand to know if Loki was around somewhere because a little stabbing and death were preferable to dealing with an angry Victoria. Best if someone else took charge.
"No. It might be a bit easier if this was from Asgard. At least then I might know how to reverse it." Hela said. "I am afraid we are to blame for the thorns being here, though."
"My brothers did it." Hildy said. "Are you going to want to lock them up like you locked up Prince Loki? Will you lock them up for a long time?"
"They're not going to lock up your brothers." Hela said. "We're trying to spare this poor planet more misery. We can't let them lock up your brothers, no matter how safe that would make Asgard. Really, I am very sorry about this."
"What happened?" Phil finally got himself together enough to ask.
"My brothers stole a spindle with a curse on it, and threw it off the Bifrost when they got bored, and someone pricked themselves on it." Hildy said. "Are you sure you wouldn't want to lock them up? I could give you my allowance if that would help."
"Wait. Wait. Someone pricking themselves on a spindle?" Skye said with a look of confusion. "Isn't that the plot for Sleeping Beauty? Are you saying Sleeping Beauty is real?"
"I'm afraid so." Hela said, just as Darcy came walking up.
"That Mister Gold fellow called. He said the only thing he knows of that can cut through the thorns is something called the Sword of Truth. Which he has no clue where to find. He thinks it's in another dimension. His wife's going to keep looking and you owe me an Ipod." she said as she glared at Coulson.
"You're serious? Sleeping Beauty is real?" Skye asked. "And why do you owe someone an Ipod, AC?"
"I'll reimburse you for the Ipod." Phil said before Darcy could get into the Ipod issue. "But is Skye right? You're saying Sleeping Beauty is real?"
"I'm afraid so." Hela said. "The spindle Hildy's brothers took was enchanted with a sleeping curse. As soon as she told me what her brothers had done, we hurried here to try to find the spindle before someone could be harmed, but I'm afraid we were too late."
"You're saying these thorns are the result of some kind of spell? What about the people inside?" Maybe if he didn't think about magic or the Asgardians, and focused on his co-workers he could keep from losing his mind.
"Someone must have pricked their finger on the spindle." Hela told him. "The prick activates the curse, and put everyone in the building to sleep."
"They're asleep?" Well, that would explain the radio silence, Melinda realized. "How do we wake them up?" Enough strange things had resulted from their contacts with Asgard. She probably shouldn't doubt that a cursed spindle that sent everyone in a major base to sleep was possible as well.
"True love's kiss. If the person who pricked themselves receives true love's kiss, then that should awaken everyone trapped under the curse. But of course that is assuming we figure a way through the thorns."
"What happens if there isn't a way through the thorns?" Jemma asked.
"Then everyone within the building will be asleep for the next hundred years, until the curse runs its course, I'm afraid."