Jade's POV:

Things were definitely getting out of hand. After that first morning when my dad slapped me it started becoming more of a regular thing. Every time it happened it seemed like he was someone else, not recognizing me as his daughter but instead addressing me as his wife, begging me not to leave and getting violent when I tried to snap him out of it. It was never particulary hard but tended to leave a bruise. I started carrying make up with me everywhere to be able to cover up the tender blue spots my face sported. It was confusing as well as embarassing and I felt completely and utterly alone, not being able to tell anyone. This was beyond even what Cat's empathy could take and I definitely wouldn't be able to take the pity I knew would appear in Beck's eyes if he ever found out.

Keeping my holy mess of a home life secret was a lot of work though and it started to take a toll on me. I was constantly torn between blinding rage and falling into a downwards spiral of despair and endless tears. At one point it even got so out of control that I snapped and lashed out at Beck but seeing the confusion and hurt in his eyes made something break inside of me and I instantly vowed to never ever cause him pain like that again.

He was such a good friend, always patient and understanding and way, way better than what I deserved. I knew he had a lot of doubts and insecurities himself and for me to take advantage of that to get him off my back made me feel... I needed to be better at keeping appearances up, couldn't risk losing my grip like that again. Thankfully Beck seemed to get the gist and wasn't asking more questions after that but I could tell he was worried and that I was causing extra weight to be put on his already tired shoulders. Maybe I would try and trust him a little bit, let him carry some of the weight. I knew he would want nothing more and it wasn't like he was going to abandon me for something like that, he was way too good a person. Maybe for his sake I would try and open up a little bit, selfishly trying to get to keep him around.

We'd never had the best relationship, me and my dad, even before losing mom. He'd never been the kind of dad that helped out with homework or dropped off at ballet classes, but rather the one you were afraid to disappoint and that would shake his head at you over his newspaper. He did love my mom though, when he'd been with her was the only time I'd ever seen him smile. Not even once since. The loss of her had made him shift from a stern dad to a strict, controlling one, leaving no room for discussion. I don't know if he ever gave himself a chance to deal with the grief, we'd never talked about it after the funeral.

The first years he'd been completely focused on his job, getting promotion after promotion and us having to move around a lot because of this. At some point he started drinking more and that had been becoming a gradually larger problem, affecting both his work and his home life. And now there was this new problem with the personality changes which was affecting everything. I tried my best to hide any alcohol or other substanse I found around the house, hoping that it might help him to stay himself. Deep down I knew that what I really should be doing was to get him psychiatric help but I was too afraid of him, didn't know how I was supposed to manage that.

"Jade, don't be such a grinch" Sikowitz exclaimed when I, once again, refused to make an effort to seem festive in the acting exercise that day. We were supposed to portray Santa's Elves or something, I couldn't really bring myself to care.

"Urgh" I groaned and grudgingly pulled on a Santa hat. "There. Happy?"

He clapped his hands together, delighted. "Very. Aand ACTION!"

The exercise was dull, too full of my classmates being overly excited about Christmas and all the stupid clichés of reindeers and presents and mistletoe. It was enough to make any normal person want to barf.

Hollywood Arts was unfortunately a school that was all about that Christmas spirit. Everything was covered in fake snow and tinsel and joy. All the art classes were Christmas-centered and even though I wasn't taking that many of them it was enough to drive me to the verge of insanity.

I was definitely not feeling the Christmas spirit, all of the cheeriness just reminding me of how Christmas was supposed to be all about family and I barely even had one anymore. Reminded me of the one I'd lost all those years ago. My mother and me making popcorn garlands, drinking hot chocolate by the fireplace, dancing around the living room to Bill Cosby. Another life.

Cat was unfortunately also one of those people that loved Christmas and it was getting increasingly hard to stand being around her.

"Jade, Jade, Jade, Jaaadeee" The redhead was giggling, skipping as she walked up to me standing next to my locker.

"What?"

"I'm excited for Christmas! Did you know my brother is gonna be making his Christmas beef again!"

"I thought he was banned from making that after the food poisoning he gave everyone that other time?"

"Yeah that's true" She said thoughtfully. "But he's been going to cooking class now!" I snorted. As if that would make a difference. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

That was a good question. What was I doing for Christmas? Certainly not spending it at the house, that much was for sure. Maybe I could get some Chinese take out and spend it at the practice room at school.

"Oh Jadey" I could tell by the sad look in Cat's eyes that I'd taken too long to answer the question. "It's getting worse again, isn't it?"

The concern in her voice made a wave of sadness wash over me and I blinked, struggling to hold back the tears forming in my eyes. Not wanting to have my voice betray me I simply nodded, turning towards my locker so no other students would see me like this.

"You should spend Christmas with me! You know my family will be okay with it and I promise I'll try and keep it low-key for you." Her face was sincere, the ditziness temporarily replaced with the thoughtful, intelligent qualities Cat did possess but seemingly wanted to disassociate herself from.

"It's fine Cat. I'll be okay by myself."

"I know you will. But you don't have to, you know. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to but please let me help even a little bit." She pleaded, brown eyes big and wide like a baby reindeer.

"Fine." I sighed. It was Cat after all. She could understand. "He's been getting worse lately, lashing out and taking his anger out on me" I admitted quietly. "I don't want to spend Christmas at the house, really"

I was immeditately swept up into a big hug, Cat's tiny body wrapping itself around me. For a second I just relaxed and let myself be comforted by my friend before pushing her off me. I did have a reputation to maintain after all.

"So you'll come for Christmas then?"

"I guess" I mumbled, turning towards my locker again, taking out my history books for next period.

"Yay!" And regular Cat was back again, clapping her hands together excitedly, all giggles and joy.

In the end Christmas was okay, pleasant even. Cat's parents were more than welcoming, letting me impose on their family holiday like it was no big deal. I got to have dinner with them Christmas Eve, fortunately not containing her brother's Christmas beef, and then spent the night in the guest room.

Come Christmas morning I was awakened at an ungodly hour by a whirlwind of red hair and excited shrieking. I once again cursed Cat's damn holiday spirit but crawled out of bed obediently anyway to go sit next to the fireplace, being offered a mug of hot chocolate from her mom and accepting it gratefully.

"Jadey, look! It's for you!" She held out a small, nicely wrapped box towards me.

"Oh no, I couldn't" I tried to decline the gift but Cat kept holding it out towards me, eventually just dropping it in my lap, giggling excitedly.

"Nonsense, dear. It's from all of us." Cat's mother smiled warmly at me and I had to blink away a few unexpected tears, rising up at the sudden act of kindness.

"Thank you" I mumbled, ducking my head. At their insistance I slowly unwrapped the box to find a pair of gorgeous black earrings, just the kind I liked and had been secretly eyeing at the mall for months. It was all too much and I could feel my head spinning from the overwhelming generosity.

Cat simply just clapped her hands together, giggling. "I told you she would like them!" I gave her a small smile, feeling suddenly grateful for her presence in my life. We had lost touch after I moved away from LA the first time and I'd actually almost forgotten about her. We were somewhat friends the first time around but after reconnecting when I started Hollywood Arts we'd become instantly close, our similar experiences making us understand each other on a whole other level.

Although I knew about the Valentine's past history and tragic loss I couldn't help the spike of jealousy rising in my chest when seeing them laugh together on the couch in the living room, all picture perfect family of four, living the american dream. It was mostly a lot of perfect family facade of course, carefully painted to cover their own cracks and bruises, but the lie was beautiful and I loved it, was entranced by it. I would do almost anything to get to live a lie like that.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, pulling my attention away from the Valentine's Christmas perfection. Thank god.

From Beck Oliver:
Merry Christmas! Hope you have a good one!

Attached was a picture of Beck himself under a Christmas tree, posing goofily for the camera with a pair of new sunglasses perched on top of his stupid perfect hair.

I couldn't help but smile, the picture was just so... Beck. He'd been talking about wanting new sunglasses for weeks, he needed ones that were more fitting for a "Hollywood hearthrob to-be" he'd told me with a wink. I think it had been more about not wanting to ask for anything too expensive from his parents while still letting them get him something but the memory of him being so sure of his future success made me smile nonethless.

From Jade West:
Merry Christmas to you too! I like the glasses :)

From Beck Oliver:
Me too! Like a real Hollywood diva, right? My parents won't let me go to the beach and try them out though, since apparently Christmas is supposed to be "all about the family" but I don't like my aunts all that much :( Where are you spending Christmas, you still in LA?

Oh jeez, what do I tell him? I didn't want him to know about my home life being so messed up I'd resorted to imposing on Cat's Christmas, I wasn't ready to let him in that much just yet, but wasn't sure how to answer without painting myself in a corner. I didn't wanna lie to him, it didn't feel right but also wasn't sure of any version of the truth that worked better.

From Jade West:
Aw that sucks. Family is the worst. I'm away for the holidays actually, have gone skiing.

Oh no, that was most definitely a lie. Oh crap. Cat was terrible at keeping secrets, how the hell was I supposed to get her to not tell anyone about this? Also, out of every possible thing to say to that question I had to say skiing? I couldn't even ski for Christ sake!

From Beck Oliver:
Sure is! Oh that's cool! Take it easy on the slopes! xx

After this small mishap I carefully told Cat that she was under no circumstances whatsoever allowed to tell ANYONE about me spending Christmas at her house. She seemed to understand, always willing to take on the role as my emotional body guard. I really was incredibly lucky to have her.

The rest of christmas went by better than expected. I actually had an okay time and the way the Valentine's effortlessly made me a part of their celebration was heartwarming. Until suddenly Cat's phone rang while we were watching Love Actually that same evening.

"Oh hi Beck" She said happily, waving at her screen.

Oh no.

"Hi Kitty Cat" I could hear the smile in his voice from my place in the arm chair opposite her. I tensed up, trying to signal to Cat to end the call.

"Merry Christmas" She said cheerily, jiggling the pair of antlers with bells perched on top of her head. "Look, I'm like Rudolph!"

"I can see that." He chuckled. "Did you have a good Christmas?"

"SO good! We had hot chocolate by the fireplace and opened presents and I got new moon boots!"

"Cat, Jade, do you want coffee with the dessert?" Cat's mom called out from the kitchen. Oh no. I could feel myself tense up and saw how Cat's eyes widened when she realized that Beck probably had heard too.

"Wait, Jade? Cat, are you with Jade?" Beck said, sounding confused.

"Um no, it's my cousin ... Slade actually" Cat tried to cover, sounding slightly stressed. "Hee hee, Slade, you're too funny. Okay got to go Beck, byyeee!"

Oh oh. That wasn't good.

Just as expected my phone buzzed only seconds later.

From Beck Oliver:
So skiing huh?

From Jade West:
Yeah, sorry about that. It's a long story.

From Beck Oliver:
It's okay. I just wish you wouldn't feel the need to lie to me :(

Oh Beck. He was way too good for me.

From Jade West:
I didn't mean to, I'm sorry.

From Beck Oliver:
Soo are you "skiing" for New Years too?

From Jade West:
Not sure yet, haven't really thought about it.

From Beck Oliver:
Spend it with me?

The thought of it was thrilling. Just me and Beck, watching the fireworks, drinking champagne. Yeah, that could work. It even made a couple of butterflies in my stomach wake up and start fluttering around in there. Just the two of us.

From Jade West:
Yeah what the hell. Sure

From Beck Oliver:
:D