Night came, and Jaskier decided that he was finally decent enough to go to his room. His heart was sore. He wanted to forget everything and go back to the meaningless life he had before.

Of course, things never are as simple. He tossed and turned all night. He had so many questions in his head, it was driving him crazy. He finally managed to get some sleep but just then, the early rays of the sun shined. And his parents didn't let him sleep in. He walked like a zombie, managed to get some sleep on a bench in the garden, woke up because of a nightmare involving Geralt, his voice, and a lot of low self-esteem.

Did Destiny want him to stay with Geralt forever? Wouldn't that be boring as hell? And, needless to say, redundant too?

Geralt would probably take another day to hunt. When he wanted to do things well, he usually took a day to collect information and another one to go hunting. It could take longer but the monster was pretty close this time, no need to wait.

Jaskier was about to go to bed and forget about all of this when he heard voices coming from around the corner. They were hushed and the persons speaking were trying to be furtive about it. It awoke Jaskier's spying tendencies. He went closer to the voices, trying to be as quiet as possible. The voices didn't hear him approach.

"u...what about..a? He... nev... t...plan."

"No... y... ight."

Jaskier could not understand what was being said. He recognized the voices somehow, but he still wasn't able to place a name on them. His curiosity got the better of him, and he decided to spy in the conversation. He got closer silently. The voices were getting clearer.

"...understood? My son mustn't know about this."

Jaskier's blood froze. Mother?

"You can use this witcher excuse to strengthen the security around the castle. When he will know about this, he will want to run away."

"Understood."

"He must not escape. My poor little king... He mustn't get back on the road. Did you see how he was when he came back? A lost sheep, unable to fend for himself."

"I saw, Miss Pankratz. A tramp, that's what he was."

"We can't let that happen. Go now, and make sure this affair stays secret. I will take care of the contacts myself."

Jaskier heard shuffling, and he quickly jumped at the first hiding spot he found. Heavy steps went past him and he saw the back of the figure of a guard walking away. There was no telling who it was. The man was dressed just like the rest of the guards here. When he was sure the man had left, Jaskier pocked his head out to see if his mother was still here, but she had left too.

What to do, what to do? I can't just tell her... do whatever she wants to do with me. If I try anything she'll have me imprisoned. What does she want anyway?

He went to his bedroom in a hurry and spent the next ten minutes walking in circles. He couldn't let this happen. Whatever was planned for him, it wouldn't be good. He never liked being caged before, which was the whole reason for his departure. It looked like his mother never changed after all. The future was not in his favour. They wanted to lock him up! And he would probably be stuck there if it was just for him. "He must not escape" his mother had said... why did his mother want him home? What had she planned for him was surely not good if she didn't want him to know.

After some deliberation, he decided that the only thing he could do was wait for the witcher to come back and pass him a note. He needed to get out of there before security was too strong to do so, and he could use Geralt as an excuse. Maybe tell his mother than he wanted to show him around or something like that.

But... That meant that he had to prepare himself for talking to Geralt. He would probably have to convince him if the witcher was the same as before: too stubborn to help without an explanation. After what has been said on the mountain, Jaskier didn't know if he would help him or if he would just laugh at him. Guess he would have to persuade the witcher... His parents wouldn't mind him "borrowing" money.

He could do this, he could do this... It was just a bad time to pass. Jaskier breathed deep and readied himself for the witcher's return.

As expected, the witcher came back in the evening. He had a nasty gash in his arm. The idiot has bandaged himself but didn't visibly feel the need to take care of it better. His father had let him stay for the night and, just as expected, Jaskier was the one to guide him to his room.

The weird feeling came back as soon as Geralt walked through the door. Jaskier spent 5 minutes trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. It was the second time in a too short-notice that the heaviness on his lungs disappeared. Jaskier was aware of the control he now had on his voice, something that he never thought he could live without. The need to sing was as strong, if not stronger than the first time. But this time, he knew what was going to happen. He knew how useless this futile hope was. Once he was out of here, he would be left alone again. Jaskier didn't want to think about that right now, but he found it difficult not to. He was not looking forward to the moment when his voice would be taken from him again.

His mother hadn't behaved differently. The only reminder of what he had heard was the sly glances she was sending him. When the meeting ended, he took the witcher through his parent's small castle. He could feel the other's look on him. It was like a heavy burden, after all this time, to have his old muse staring like that from behind. It sent shivers down his spine to think that the golden glaze was for him. It made Jaskier wonder if the witcher knew about his predicament or not.

When they arrived in the guest's room, Geralt didn't even look around. His gaze was still fixed on Jaskier, and even though the ex-bard promised himself that he would save the witcher's life, the insistent stare was bothering him quite a lot. Without Jaskier opening up the conversation, it could take days, years before the witcher decided to speak up.

Jaskier decided to hide his hurt behind his anger, and he moved to the desk to retrieve a piece of paper. The sooner this was done the better. Surprisingly, Geralt acted faster than him. Was he afraid that Jaskier would leave?

"... Jaskier!"

A strong hand grabbed his arm and stopped him. Irritated, Jaskier faced him. Geralt had this strange look on his face again. It was clear that he wanted to say something. But darn, Jaskier didn't have time for that! He didn't want to stay longer in this situation. He waited a few seconds for Geralt to talk, but when it seemed like the witcher was stuck like a fish out of the water, Jaskier tore his arm away and resumed his way to the desk.

"I'm..." Geralt tried again.

Jaskier was listening, but he was writing at the same time. He didn't turn around when the witcher spoke up.

"I didn't know you were here."

Jaskier closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He was tired. Too tired to have this conversation. Yes, he knew it was coming. Whether the witcher was feeling remorseful or just wanted explanations, Jaskier just couldn't. It was too late. He had managed to crush his hopes down, he didn't have the time to build them up again just for a small conversation with his old friend. He didn't have the courage dare to talk about the mountain, about his presence here, or anything really. He was not brave enough to speak with Geralt.

What a coward I am.

He turned around. Geralt was right behind him. The witcher stayed silent, as if the sentence he had said would explain everything. Seeing that the situation would probably remain for as long as the witcher wouldn't ask anything, Jaskier decided to get answers of his own.

He pointed at Geralt's bandaged arm. The other man understood immediately.

"I got careless. I was distracted."

Oh, so you don't need me to distract you after all. Or did I distract you by my mere presence here?

Something must have reflected in his face, because the next thing he knew, Geralt was making the face again. His hands were balled into fists and his eyes looked... apologetic?

"I didn't know you were mute."

If Jaskier had any resentment before, it all vanished when Geralt's voice ended up as a whisper, as if the witcher himself was scared of saying the word that would confirm all you this.

"There is a lot I didn't know..."

Jaskier clutched the paper in his hand. He could speak, and end this spiral of pity that the witcher was probably feeling but at the same time, he could not. If he spoke, he would have to explain everything. Geralt was too perceptive to believe in a lie, and he didn't want Geralt to save him. That would leave him as nothing but a burden for who knows how long. Again. No, there was no way he would impose his presence on the witcher again. Geralt didn't want him back as a companion, not really.

He had forgiven the witcher a long time ago. He was not one to stay mad for long. But what the witcher had said was a reflection of his true feelings. Jaskier knew that now. It was clear that he was useless to Geralt. He was not a fighter nor a magician. The man didn't even like his singing – even though he wouldn't have any problems on this part anymore-.

So he kept his mouth shut. Because this was just a fling. Geralt would go back on his feet and leave, and forget him. Because it was meant to be this way.

"What happened, Jaskier?" Geralt finally asked.

Jaskier didn't say anything. He gave the witcher the paper he was writing. Geralt took it, opened it, and read it. A second after, his eyes were back on Jaskier. The weird look of pity was gone.

"Why do you need help?"