After a few hours had passed since he had collapsed shaking Paul Anka was back to his fine and normal self. Still, I and Luke knew way too well even though, sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair in the examine room at the animal hospital I would have wanted to get up, jump and scream at Jeannie to give us any news about the blood tests or X-ray pictures.

I couldn't have wished for it any less when Jeannie finally came back to us holding some X-ray pictures and frowning deeper than anyone else I had ever seen.

If I could have just turned back time and made sure we never had to get here.

"There's something I have to show you guys…" Jeannie held up the X-ray pictures "Can you see what this is?" She pointed with a pencil.

I didn't want to say it but I heard myself anyway.

"Brain tumor." Jeannie didn't lower the picture. She pointed at different parts of it, and Paul Anka's brain. "And it's spread" …

"I'd say that it's gone this far without Paul Anka having any symptoms is a miracle in itself." She said sadly and finally lowered the picture and the pencil. "Or maybe he did. He just couldn't tell us about it."

Silence fell. Or maybe it was only to me because suddenly it was like if someone had dropped a feather we could have heard it fall to the floor.

"Is he in pain?" I asked, even though I wasn't so sure I wanted to know the answer. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer but still felt relieved when Jeannie calmly shook her head.

"I don't think so… But now he's had one seizure it's probably only a matter of time before he has another. It could be tomorrow, next week…"

"What can you do? About the seizures and about the tumor…"

The look on Jeannie's face that I had feared all along suddenly made sense more than before.

Maybe I already knew the answer.

Jeannie seemed to search for words, but she did it for too long and I had another question. Even though Luke was the one who asked it for me.

"What would you do if this was your dog?"

Jeannie sighed and only thought for a few seconds before she answered.

"I would take him home. And I would make sure he had the best life that an old dog could possibly have. Then I would have to wait and see. If there comes another seizure or it seems like he's in pain soon afterwards then I… would let him go."

I could figure way too well what she meant.

But I couldn't take that step right away- and never if I could have taken another decision.

"And if it wasn't?"

"If there was a longer while until something's wrong. If it seems like he's going to have a longer life even despite everything. Then I'd take him back here and make some… loads of more tests and I could figure what medicines to give him."

No matter what it was like nothing but everything made sense.

"Why can't you give him anything now?"

"Those medicines come with side effects. And with that, if he still had more seizures it would- more than likely cause brain damage that, if nothing else kill him in a way worse way than anything else. Before long he'd be a prisoner in his own body. And then, before that I'd have to make some tests- painful ones. And there's still a big risk what I give him won't work at all instead of anything else."

"Okay, okay." I interrupted at last while I just saw the way Paul Anka looked at me as if he knew what was going on. "I… I… It wouldn't be fair to keep him suffering for my sake…" I kissed the top of his head. "You're right."

Jeannie was right, I knew that very well. But I just wished that I didn't know.

At the same time I realized that if I hadn't known then Jeannie would have had to explain it to me. Which would have been far away from easy for neither herself nor me, Luke nor Paul Anka.

"Is that all for tonight?"

We were wondering all three but at last Luke was the one who broke the question.

"…Well, there's nothing more I can do… So you just go home and then… treat each other in the best ways…" Paul Anka laid on his back, Luke was scratching his stomach and he was as happy as he'd ever been. "Well… I hope you'll have an as good weekend as possible together."

To have a good weekend- that was easy for her to say!

At least it was Friday night and neither I nor Luke would have any jobs to go to in the morning.

"Come on…" My voice still sounded weirdly weak, like I'd never heard it before. "…It's time to go now Paul Anka."

Paul Anka got up, we hadn't thought about bringing a leash but somehow he still knew to stick to my side while we walked outside. Well there he crawled up in the back seat. And without giving it as much as a thought I did the same so he could lay his head in my lap.

Right now, just like when he came from the X-ray he was showing no signs of anything abnormal.

"You're the best dog I could have ever said." I almost whispered while Luke started the car and started drowning us homewards. "And I love you."

After all the time we had had together and I had petted him like this, it was so strange to think that just below my hand, under his fur and skin and scalp something was growing. Something evil that was going to take him from us.

"Just drive somewhere Luke, please. I don't want this ride to end."

Random fact

I wasn't going to put that about a brain tumor into the story. Then I realized that the biggest difference probably in between Bibbi and Paul Anka is that Bibbi was so young and Paul Anka so old. So at his age it would be at less risk for him to just have a seizure not depending on a tumor or stroke or something like that.

Another chapter comes Monday the twenty second of February. Anyone who reviews gets a shoutout.