10. #WhatIf
"Cat, are you okay? You seem distracted."
People always asked her that. She didn't understand why. Cat was always present in the moment. It's just that sometimes, the moment she was present in wasn't the same moment as everyone else, and it took her a minute or so to catch up.
"Cat?"
This was especially true when something was on her mind, like there was today. It should have been the most amazing day of her entire life and instead, she was horribly anxious.
"Look, it's Justin Bieber!"
All day long, Cat had flashbacks of her prom night. All of it. Her dress, dancing with Sam, and of course all the really fun, naughty stuff that happened after. Although, she really didn't think it was naughty at all, since they admitted they loved each other. In fact, Cat thought it was beautiful, one of the most beautiful things she'd ever experienced. And Sam was so patient, it gave her the courage to try what she had tried that morning during their second…fun time.
"I think she's really gone, Tori."
Cat smiled as she thought back to how Sam gasped her name. She unconsciously squeezed her legs together.
"No, she's alive. See, she's blushing about something."
Cat sighed to herself. "The way she said my name was so…" She suddenly realized that Tori and Jade were staring at her. She caught up to the same moment they were in. "What? Do I have cheese on my face?"
The trio had met at the mall for dinner. It hadn't been in the plans, but Jade and Tori wanted to shop, and Cat wanted to be as far away from Carly as possible. So she decided to join in. Jade sat to Cat's left and Tori was across from her. Both were staring blankly at her.
"The way who said your name?" Jade asked.
"What are you talking about?"
"You said something about the way 'she' said your name," Tori said. "And you're blushing really bad."
Cat felt very uncomfortable under the innocent-but-questioning gazes of her friends. "I don't wanna talk about it."
"So there's something to talk about, then?" Jade asked. "Come on, spill."
"A lady does not discuss such things in public."
Jade and Torie shared a look and Cat realized her poor word choice.
"Oh my god, Cat," Jade said. "Did you and Sam already have sex!?"
Cat winced at the word. Her face was on fire with embarrassment. She tried desperately to change the subject. "Did you know that french fries actually originated in France?"
Tori reached across the table and squeezed Cat's hand. "It's okay. You don't have to tell us if you don't want."
"Screw that, yes she does," Jade said. "Come on, Valentine. Can Puckett fuck it?"
"Language!" Cat shouted a little louder than she intended. She sighed. Tori might let it go, but Jade wouldn't. She might as well get it over with. "If you must know, yes, my girlfriend and I did have…relations last night." She let Jade and Tori react to that, shouting and cacking excitedly. When they quieted down, she added with a grin, "Twice."
"Twice!? I have so many questions," Jade said.
"No, you don't," Tori cut in. "She's embarrassed enough."
"Oh, come on, you have to wonder—"
"Nooooo."
Jade sighed. "Fine. Just answer me one thing. Does she shave her bits?"
"Jade," Tori said, exasperated.
"What? She's a huge tomboy. I wanna know."
Cat put her face in her hands and rubbed her eyes. She felt sick to her stomach. "She's very well-groomed if you must know," Cat said.
Jade arched both eyebrows. "Really? I guess I'd have lost that bet, then."
"What bet?"
"Never mind. Don't pay any attention to me. It's awesome you finally got la…" She trailed off at a stern glance from Tori. "It's awesome you guys are together. Especially since I'm the one who pushed you into asking her to the prom."
Cat smiled, and the red in her cheeks began to fade a bit. "Thanks. I just hope it's not all going to get screwed up."
"What do you mean?" Tori asked.
"Well, this morning, guess who came a-knocking at our door? Well, she actually rang the doorbell, because I remember saying 'ding dong' when it went off. But guess who?"
"Was it the one-armed man?" Jade asked.
"The one-armed who?"
"Just tell us!"
"It was Carly."
Jade and Cat exchanged confused glances. "Carly from Physics class?" Tori asked.
"Carly from iCarly!"
Tori realized right away what that meant. "Oh, wow. She just showed up? I thought she in Italy."
"Me too, but nope. She was right at our door, suitcase and everything. Almost like she planned it."
Tori took a sip of her soda. "Do you know why she's there?"
"What does it matter?" Jade asked. "Sam's with you. She made a very public confession and everything. That's a huge deal."
"Yeah, a confession where she admitted she was in love with Carly at one point," Tori said. "You don't ever really get over your first love like that. Ow!"
Cat jumped as Tori shot Jade an angry look.
"What Tori is trying to say, poorly, like everything she does, is that sometimes first loves can be tough to get over. But what helps with that is having a new love, which Sam very obviously has. You guys are literally the perfect couple. So perfect I'm actually physically nauseous just thinking about it."
Cat sighed nervously and picked up another cheese fry. "But what if she doesn't think so? What if she chose me because she figured she'd never get Carly? Who would have expected her to show up here? What if she takes Sam away from me?"
"Cat, sweetie, I don't think that's going to happen," Tori said. "Who even knows how Carly feels? Sam never told her because she thought she'd get rejected. Carly might not even love Sam like that."
"Maybe," Cat said. She loved hearing those words and they felt good to think about, but in her heart, Cat wasn't sure if she could trust them. Tori and Jade might be right, but they also might be wrong.
"As much as I hate admitting it, Tori's right," Jade said. "I mean, it's not like every girl is into every other girl, no matter how much the weirdos out there want it to be true. But worst-case scenario, even if this chick did come to steal Sam, Sam is hooked on you. I've talked to her. You said the other day that she makes you better. Well, you make her better, too. What you do for each other doesn't just happen. I've been with Beck for how many years now and we still don't have that kind of connection. You're damn lucky."
"But they were friends for so many years—"
Jade put a gentle hand on Cat's arm. "It doesn't matter how long they were friends, or how long you've been together. What matters is who you are when you're with each other. Trust me, Cat. You do things for Sam that Carly didn't. That's why she's with you. Okay? Stop worrying."
Cat forced a smile. Well, it was partly forced and partly sincere. She did feel a little better. "Okay. I guess I should tell Sam about my audition, huh?"
"You didn't tell her yet?" Tori asked.
"Well, to be honest, we've been a little distracted."
Jade smiled and poked Cat playfully. "Yeah you have." Jade lifted her first two fingers into a "v" and made an obscene gesture with her tongue. Cat winced and turned away.
"When do you leave?" Tori asked, glaring at Jade.
"Tomorrow night."
Jade and Tori exchanged concerned glances. "Yeah, I think you should probably let Sam know about that," Tori said.
"I will. Tonight."