14. #Sisters
"Why do terrible things have to happen?" Cat asked. She was in Jade's bed, her head resting in Jade's lap. She had cried so much, she could barely breathe out of her nose. A pile of used tissues grew larger around her. Jade gently stroked her forehead.
"I don't know," she said. "It seems really weird to me."
Cat had recounted the entire story once she had calmed down enough to talk straight. It had been a long time since Cat had experienced a panic attack that bad. Like, since before her brother went away to his special hospital. Even then, Cat couldn't remember being so scared and so hurt.
Jade had found her curled up into a ball on the sidewalk outside of her apartment building, sobbing uncontrollably. She remembered hearing Jade swear at people who had stopped to gawk at her. Then she helped her up and into the car. Cat fell asleep on the drive and when she woke up, the tightness was gone. But the pain wasn't gone, it was worse. It hurt her heart in so many ways, she didn't see how she'd ever be okay again.
"What do you mean it seems weird?" Cat asked. She wiped her eyes again, trying to see the television. Jade had put on some old black and white movie.
"I mean it's not like Sam to do something like this."
"It's not like Sam to randomly hurt people in her life out of convenience or selfishness?"
Jade sighed. "Okay, so it's kind of like Sam. But not like this. Not with you. You've always been the exception to her rules."
Cat sat up to face Jade. She felt dizzy as the congestion in her head shifted. Or maybe she was just confused about what Jade was getting at. "Are you saying that I didn't hear what I heard?"
"I'm not really sure what you heard. But there was someone else on the other end of the phone, right?"
"I hope so. I don't think Sam talks to herself."
"So there are two sides to this conversation, and you've only got one. Maybe you need to get the other side. Maybe you need to talk to Sam about this. I know it seems bad, but I really don't believe she'd hurt you on purpose."
"So I should go home and—"
"No," Jade said. "You're leaving tomorrow for New York, right? You've got that audition. If you want my honest advice, I'd say stay here tonight. Get some sleep. Get your head straight. Go to New York and do your audition. Then come home and talk to Sam. By then, the shock of all this will have worn off and you guys can talk things out. I mean, I'll take you home if you want. But it might be better to wait."
Cat looked at Jade with a bit of awe. She'd never heard her friend be so level-headed and rational. "That's really good advice," Cat said. "It's almost like something Tori would say."
Jade's dark eyes narrowed. "I am. Not. In. Love. With. Tori. Vega. Clear?"
Cat still wasn't convinced. "I didn't say you were in love with her, just that it sounded like advice she'd give, which is maybe evidence of her positive influence on you."
Somehow, Jade's already-narrow eyes grew even more narrow. "Clear?"
"Fine, fine, clear," Cat said. She laid back down on Jade's lap, and Jade sat back against her headboard. "I'm still kind of sad. I bought that lace nighty to wear to bed tonight and I dropped it outside my apartment. I hope no one else finds it."
"I'm sure it's still there," Jade said. "Just think of it as something to look forward to when you get back and sort all this out with Sam."
"I guess."
Cat wiped what felt like the last tear from her eye with a tissue. She tried to pay attention to the movie again, but her mind kept going back to how things had changed so fast. From friends to more than friends, and now what were they? This time last night they were dancing together.
Cat struggled with expressing these thoughts. Every time she opened her mouth, she felt like she said something wrong or confusing. But maybe she could find something. Maybe her audition.
Ohmygod, I know what song to do.
"Jade? Would you come with me to New York?"
Jade looked down at Cat, who rolled over onto her back so she could talk face to face with her friend.
"You're joking."
"No. I hate traveling alone. I was going to ask Sam to come, but I didn't even get to tell her about the audition. And I think I'm going to do a different song. I could really use you, you're way better on the guitar than I am."
Jade arched an eyebrow. "That's true. I am pretty amazing." She sighed. "What the hell. Not like I had plans."
Cat smiled and fought the urge to hug Jade. "Yay! Thank you. I feel better now."
Jade shrugged. "Well, what are sisters for if not to annoy the everloving crap out of you and talk you into doing things you don't want to do? What song do you want to do?"
"I think one that will help me work through all this confusion I'm feeling. Getting older, graduating, relationships changing. I'm sure you know it."
Jade did know it. "That's a perfect choice."