"He was like nature, good, wild, and sometimes cruel. He had all the moods of nature: beauty, timidity, violence, and tenderness."

—Anaïs Nin, from "The Four-Chambered Heart," originally published c. 1950

Jaken was worried about his Lord.

While Lord Sesshomaru was quiet normally, his quietness had become downright crushing over these last few months. It had to have started on one of the days that they had come to visit Rin, a normal affair that Jaken couldn't say he was upset about. He missed the girl and truly her absence was still felt in their group to this day. However, when Lord Sesshomaru and he had left the village one day, something odd had happened. They had made it a few miles away when Lord Sesshomaru suddenly… turned around and headed back towards the village.

The oddest part was that they didn't go all the way back, they had stayed out a fair distance and just walked paths up and down as if Lord Sesshomaru was fighting with himself about something. It only got worse after every new visit, the quiet around him becoming almost smothering in its intensity as he seemed lost in thought incessantly. They hadn't picked up camp yet, Lord Sesshomaru informing Jaken that they would be staying here. Jaken said not a word about it because he was a very loyal and trustworthy vassal (and humble, no doubt) and he would never overstep on his Lord, but Jaken had a suspicion.

The suspicion Jaken had was that perhaps Lord Sesshomaru had an interest in Rin, and not just a passing one at that. If Jaken himself hadn't seen everything unfold with his very eyes, he would not have believed it himself, but the more he thought about it the more the evidence matched up. Jaken had not picked out and carried around this many kimonos for nothing and Jaken found it very interesting that suddenly his Lord was unwilling to travel too far away from the village she lived in. It was all very…

Suspicious.

"Jaken." Lord Sesshomaru's voice cut through the thoughtful quiet that the two of them had created and Jaken jumped, yelping. How did he know —?

"Y-yes, m'lord?" Jaken tried for as not guilty of a tone as he could. Lord Sesshomaru turned to him and opened his mouth to say something when suddenly he stopped and blinked before his face lifted to the breeze. He wore a frown, as if he couldn't believe what he was scenting. After a moment, Jaken saw him scowl angrily before he took to the sky and flew off towards Rin's village.

Used to abrupt departures such as these, Jaken quickly jumped up and grasped onto the tail of the pelt his lord wore, climbing up and wondering nervously if Rin was okay. Lord Sesshomaru only moved that quickly when that girl was involved and it was not likely to be something good…

Rin woke up feeling refreshed.

Either she had been completely and truly so exhausted that her body didn't even have the energy to keep her awake anymore, or the hard work she and Kaede had done yesterday must've helped let off some of the steam that had been building up inside of her like opening the lid of a pot that was boiling over. Whatever the answer was, she woke up with no memory of tossing and turning through the night. She blinked against the bright stream of light that happened to just perfectly thread the needle through the window and fall directly on her eyes and stretched her arms over her head with a grunt.

She rolled over onto her stomach and pulled her pillow up under her chin, burying her mouth into it as she looked around and saw that she was alone. How late had she slept? Usually, she rose with the priestess, her body automatically stirring her awake around sunrise. She must have left her this morning when she had noticed that she was still soundly sleeping. Rin couldn't deny that she felt no small measure of thankfulness towards her housemate for that. I must have been drooling, she thought ruefully and smiled, pressing her whole face into the pillow and rubbing her cheeks against it as she took a deep breath before pushing herself up.

As she folded up her bed-stuffs and put them away, she fell back into doing what she found herself doing more often than not these days, which was thinking about Sesshomaru. She didn't even really realize when it was happening, just suddenly becoming lost to a dream or a memory of him. More often than not, it was just pleasant little wisps of the two of them touching each other casually, holding hands, laughing together, just casually happy to be with the other. Though, the moment she realized it was happening it always vanished around her as her more logical brain told her to save herself the trouble.

Easier said than done. She thought about him with her eyes open and she thought about him when her eyes closed, analyzing every interaction and look he had given her to the point where she had convinced herself there was something there and then talked herself back out of it again. As pointless as a dog chasing its tail but she couldn't stop herself.

A sound outside caught her attention and she poked her nose over the window sill to see what was going on. Rin saw Inuyasha and Kagome walking towards Kaede's house, the two of them chatting amiably together. The couple was not a new sight but Rin found herself studying them a little differently today. She remembered very clearly being confused at how two people who bickered so often were able to not only stand each other but marry each other.

However, when she saw them like this where they were just walking and talking together, she could see it. She could see the love in a lot of different ways. She saw it in the way that Inuyasha would watch Kagome when she was working, and she saw it in the way Kagome would always brush her fingers across his shoulders when she passed him. Rin thought that it was all very sweet and romantic and Inuyasha would absolutely blush so hard that he would pass out if she ever said anything about it so she didn't.

Rin turned around to begin getting ready for the day and tried to imagine herself and Sesshomaru in that situation. She had never been one to imagine her Lord as someone who was okay with 'easy touches', but he had touched her before so she wasn't sure that he was against it, necessarily. Maybe it just depended on the situation? Or maybe when he had touched her before it was because she was in danger and she was reading too much into something?

Or maybe… maybe he had just as little experience with romantic-type things as she did? That notion had Rin pausing thoughtfully mid-wrap of her obi. She knew that he had been alive for many generations of man, that much she understood, but Master Jaken had made it seem like Lord Sesshomaru was on the younger side for a demon. She had never seen him express interest of that type for anyone, even when they were very obviously pursuing him that way.

She slowly resumed tying her obi, the theory making more sense in her brain the more she thought back through her time with him. She could not remember anyone touching him in a way that wasn't an attack and vice versa. He hadn't even gotten closer than two arm spans from his own mother.

Rin found herself feeling pity for him, for how lonely that must be. To live so long and have no one to be familiar with had to be a miserable experience. It made more sense now that most people thought that he was a cruel grouch, though she never could see it. No wonder her accidental hand-brush had startled him so badly, no one had stood close enough to him for that to be commonplace.

I wonder if he would let me hold his hand if we were married, she hummed thoughtfully and tried to imagine it. The two of them walking side-by-side, her fingers looped with his. She blushed and placed her hands against her warm cheeks, unable to deny how happy that made her feel. She could probably persuade him to let her do it, he usually was very accommodating to her, and maybe once he got over the novelty of being touched it would just be commonplace.

"Uh…Rin?" A tentative voice interrupted her thoughts and left Rin jumping two feet in the air.

"Yes?" She eeped out, blushing for a whole different reason now as Kagome poked her head in and was giving her a curious look.

"Is Kaede around?" Kagome asked after a long pause. Rin swallowed and shook her head.

"I'm not sure where she went, she was gone when I woke up," she explained. Kagome nodded and looked like she was about to duck back out when she hesitated.

"Just so you know," She began, glancing at her husband over her shoulder, "Inuyasha said that he thought he noticed some not-so-nice demons in the area the other day. They flew off, but if you're going out to be careful." Rin nodded politely and Kagome smiled, leaning in a little further to the hut. "You look like you slept well," Kagome whispered with a kind wink. Rin returned her smile and then she was alone again as the two left and went off on their way. She thoughtfully considered what she would do with her time and decided since she had such a late start to the day anyway, that she might as well continue to have a lazy type of day.

She grabbed a small basket with the goal in mind of finding and bringing back some nice flowers to brighten up the home for a little while. Kaede would appreciate the gesture and Rin liked the flowers, so it was a pastime of hers that she would engage in often. She headed out, walking with no real urgency and just enjoying the nice weather. She raised her face to the wind and closed her eyes, letting the currents run over her skin. Even when she found the field she took her time, leisurely gathering only the prettiest looking flowers.

Rin was debating if she would be able to get away with laying around and watching the clouds for a bit when a sound from above her had her frowning and looking up. Just in time, she saw a random demon swooping down directly towards her. With a yelp that was a mixture of surprise and fear, she dove out of the way and the bird demon hit the ground, it's unbelievably sharp talons scooping large chunks of dirt up with it as it once again took to the skies.

She took off running, heading for the trees where it wouldn't be able to just pluck her off the ground so easily. She looked over her shoulder and tripped, falling flat on her face just as the bird's talons clicked together where her head had been a moment before. Spitting out dirt, scrambling to her feet, Rin groaned angrily; "You have got to be kidding me!" This was supposed to be her relaxing day! She had slept in, she was picking flowers, she had been in a great mood! Now she was about to be eaten by a demon because she wasn't following her usual grinding routine.

The irony…

She made it to the trees and ducked behind the trunk of one, chest heaving as she fought to catch her breath and figure out how she was going to get out of this. The bird demon made an angry squawking sound as it swooped and grabbed its talons at the canopy of the trees, sending twigs raining down on her, before it flew around to land towards the entrance of the forest. Rin froze. Was it going to try and walk in and find her? No, shoo, go away bird, she silently urged as she thunked her head back against the tree.

Rin lifted her head back up when she heard a sharp, angry-sounding screech come from the bird before the sound of flesh rending and gurgling. She remained where she was, frowning and listening hard to see if this fish had just been taken out by a meaner, bigger, hungrier fish. When she heard the familiar sound of Jaken's boasting she sagged with relief against the trunk, the bark catching strands of her hair.

Lord Sesshomaru rounded the tree and stood in front of her, looking down at her face. She smiled up at him, wiggling her fingers in greeting, so relieved to see him that she wished she could hug him. "Hi," she said to him and he looked at her waving hand.

"You're hurt." He said, but that was news to Rin. She looked down at her body like there was going to be a huge spike sticking out of it that she hadn't noticed she'd been impaled on.

"No, I'm okay…?" At least, she didn't think she was hurt. She looked at her arms, putting her hands on the back of her neck just in case maybe she had gotten nicked by its claws. He reached out and his pointer finger hooked in her sleeve, pulling her hand forwards revealing that where she had caught her fall was cut and scraped, blood pooling and slowly running. She looked at her other hand and saw that, while it looked much better than the weeping one, it also had scrapes all along it. "Oh. Yes, I am." She said, smiling sheepishly at him.

He had bent over a bit to look at the different bloody scratches, his finger still hooked in her sleeve applying a light pressure that was quite distracting. She watched him, looking for any hints as to what he was thinking, but seeing nothing. His mouth was set in a thin line as his eyes went from her bloody hand to her face before he stepped back. "Jaken, come here," he commanded, his voice strong, and Rin knew that he was going to tell Jaken to go find something for her hand so she quickly waved him off.

"It's fine," she assured and bent over, lifting up her kimono for her white under-robe, ripping off a piece of it to wrap around her hand. She stood up again and showed him the wrap. "There! All taken care of." Rin smiled and Sesshomaru looked at her hand before nodding and turning to walk back out of the trees to meet Jaken.

She watched him walk away and had an odd feeling that he was…wary of her? Which didn't make sense because he came to find her. Though, she had been about to be eaten and he probably had smelled her blood and thought she was in big trouble. Yet, she couldn't deny that feeling that he seemed a little more avoidant of her, back turned to her looking at the corpse of the demon that had tried to eat her. It was such a big swing away from the familiar, attentive way he had been with her recently that she felt it all that more acutely. She walked past him, watching his back curiously until she saw her favorite little toad demon approach.

"Hi, Master Jaken," Rin greeted with a smile, realizing suddenly that she hadn't seen him in a while. "How are you?"

"How am I?" He repeated in a tone akin to if she had just asked him to poke his own eyes out. "I am surprised to see you out here on your own and defenseless! Don't you know how easily that demon could have killed you?" Rin nodded along, barely able to suppress the smile that was bubbling under the surface. "Foolish girl! Don't you know Lord Sesshomaru is already concerned enough about you—"

"Enough, Jaken," The Lord Sesshomaru in question interrupted sharply at exactly the same time that Rin turned to look at him. Concerned? What was he concerned about? He was looking up at the sky, but she saw the frown that he wore and knew that Jaken had said too much. Yet, Rin wasn't sure what Jaken had even revealed. Sesshomaru glanced over and the two made eye contact. The glance was fleeting but she caught it anyway, and she gave him a curious frown trying to convey the confusion she felt. He looked back towards the sky quickly and Rin saw two more bird demons in the distance. "Rin, go back to the village." He told her, eyes on the approaching demons. "Jaken, go with her."

Master Jaken hurried over to herd Rin away and she began to side-step her way back to the road, still studying her Lord curiously. Jaken snapped at her to hurry and only then did she look away, the two quickly going back towards the road as her head buzzed with questions.

Thank you for reading!