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"Lindy have you seen my earrings?" Sophia asked surveying the room wildly.
"Which ones?"
"The sparkly studs, I can't see them." Lindy wordlessly pointed towards Sophia's right elbow where the earrings were lying in plain view on her vanity table.
Sophia blushed embarrassed. "Thanks," she said putting one on. "I'm just so nervous for tonight."
Lindy gave a small laugh. "Don't be. Yeager's going to go crazy for you." Lindy was sitting on the edge of Sophia's bed watching her put on the final touches for her date. Sophia looked pretty in a deep purple dress with a scoop neck and a slightly shorter hemline than what she usually wore and paired it with a pair of black kitten heels. Sophia had told Connor she wanted to look sophisticated but irresistible and it seemed like they had succeeded in picking the right look for that. Lindy wouldn't have known how to do that. She left the fashion to Sophia and just wore whatever she felt was comfortable, although she has to admit she had a little too much black and white in her wardrobe.
She fiddled with the edge of Sophia's red duvet. "Okay, what's wrong?" Sophia asked. She dropped her hand away from where she had just put on her other earring, completing her look.
"Nothing." She squirmed under Sophia's intense gaze.
"You've been really quiet and you've moping around since you got back from training with Tommy. Did he do something to you?"
Lindy sighed. She knew she couldn't hide anything from Sophia, at least not with that look she was giving her. "I am not moping around, I'm just angry. We got in a fight and I left."
Sophia groaned and sat down next to her, "You guys were fine yesterday, you even seemed happier. What did he do this time?"
Lindy could feel herself getting angry again just thinking about it. "He's hiding something from me. He wants me to trust him again, but how am I supposed to do that when he won't tell me the truth." She searched Sophia's face as if seeking the answer to her question there. Sophia fixed her with a serious look.
"Normally I would tell you to forget about him, but in this case I think that you guys need to talk and work out your problems." This surprised Lindy. "You want me to keep talking to him? When it was Ben who betrayed me you got me drunk and told me to forget about him. You told me to never let him darken my life with his presence again. Those were you're exact words," she added at the incredulous look Sophia gave her.
"Really, I said that?"
"Well, we were drunk when you said it."
"There is absolutely no doubt that Tommy should have told you about Operation Magnifly. He had no right to keep that from you. I can't tell you why he's keeping something from you now, but you should just ask him. But honestly I think that after everything that's happened he's never going to hurt you again."
"Why do you think that?"
Sophia gave Lindy a knowing look that she couldn't quite decipher. "I just have a feeling." Before Lindy could ask her to elaborate there was a knock at the door. "Oh my God, he's here!" Sophia yelped jumping up from her bed. Lindy couldn't help but grin at her friend's nervousness. She couldn't remember the last time Sophia had been this excited to go on a date before. "Wow, you really like him don't you?"
Sophia blushed. "Oh my God, you do! Look don't freak out everything is going to be fine you just be your awesome usual self and go and have fun—but not too much fun." The comment earned her a wicked grin from Sophia.
"Could you please go open the door? I want to him to be dazzled when he finally sees me."
"Yeah, because seeing me is going to turn him off?" Lindy asked faking hurt.
"You know that's not what I meant," she said clutching Lindy's hands. "You are also gorgeous, but could you please just open the door for me?"
"Anything for you." She left Sophia in her room to do breathing exercises she'd leaned in yoga class to calm herself and went to open the door for Yeager. She swung it open to reveal him dressed up for the evening with a bouquet of red roses in his hand looking more than a little nervous himself, which was strange to see since he always looked calm and collected. "Hey, Yeager," she greeted.
"Hey," he nodded at her. Lindy let him in and he stood looking uncomfortable in the middle of the living room. "Sophia will be out in a minute. Bonus points for bringing her her favorite flowers by the way." Yeager smiled looking relieved and visibly relaxed. She wanted to ask him about Tommy and what he might be keeping from her since she was sure it was work related but she decided against it. She didn't want to ruin Sophia and Yeager's night with talk of work and secrets.
Sophia came out of her room holding her sparkly clutch and looking much calmer than when Lindy had left her. She visibly brightened when she saw Yeager and even more so when she saw that he was holding flowers.
"Flowers, you bought me flowers? How thoughtful. How did you know I loved roses?"
Yeager shrugged and smiled warmly, "When I saw them I thought of you. I'm glad you like them."
"Just let me put them in some water and we'll go." She took them from Yeager and inhaled deeply while walking toward the kitchen.
Lindy squeezed Yeager's arm in encouragement. "So where are you taking her?"
"It's a surprise, but I'll tell you." He looked to make sure Sophia wasn't listening but she was busy looking in the cupboard under the sink for a vase. "I'm taking her to a Bohemian restaurant in Manhattan that I think she'll like."
"She's definitely going to like that," she said approvingly. Yeager seemed to know Sophia already.
"All right, I'm ready," Sophia trilled coming back into the living room.
"Okay, you kids have fun and don't stay out too late," Lindy called after them. Yeager gave her a funny look over his shoulder while Sophia just smiled and waved goodbye before Lindy shut the door after them.
She breathed out. She now had the apartment to herself. Sophia wasn't going to be back for another few hours and there was something she needed to do that she had already put off for too long. She headed into her room and opened the bottom drawer of her dresser. With slightly shaking hands she pulled out the tablet that Jake had given her that day at the train station.
In it he had told her was all of the information he had managed to find out about Sara. Although Lindy was desperate to know anything about Sara she was too afraid that this was just going to be another dead end. She was afraid that Jake was only taunting her and playing with her emotions like he had to get her to go to Hart Island. She sat on the edge of her bed with the tablet in her lap and just stared at it. She couldn't bring herself to power it on. The memories of the night Sara was abducted still haunted her.
She was suddenly there. It had been dark and raining hard making it necessary to turn on the windshield wipers. She remembered with perfect clarity everything that happened that night. The horror she had felt when she realized that her little sister was being kidnapped right in front of her. The helplessness and anger she had felt about not being able to get to her sister on time, and the desperation about not being able to find Sara after all this time.
She gave a shaky sigh she needed to do this, to see what was in this tablet even if it turned out not to be anything, to follow all of the leads even if they led nowhere. She needed to do it. She owed it to Sara for not being able to save her. She closed her eyes, steeling herself and reached out for the power button. Just as she was about to press it a knock sounded at the door. She jumped up and headed for the door annoyed with herself by how relieved she felt to have a distraction, at putting off the task just a little bit longer.
"Did you forget your keys?" she asked swinging the door open thinking it was Sophia.
But it wasn't her. It was Tommy.
Admittedly, she hadn't expected to have to talk to him so soon. He was leaning on the door jamb but straightened up when she opened the door. "Hey, um, can we talk?"
She tried to cross her arms but it was made awkward by the fact that she was still holding on to the tablet, having forgotten to leave it on her bed. His eyes went to it, but he didn't mention it.
"So now you want to talk?" He flinched at her tone as if she had slapped him. Lindy felt bad being so harsh with him, but not much. She was tired of being lied to and being kept in the dark. She just wanted someone to be honest with her. Was that really too much to ask considering everything she had gone through?
"I guess I deserve that." He sighed, "Look Lindy, I'm sorry." The pain was clear in his eyes and she felt her heart soften a little. But she wasn't going to accept his apology until he explained himself. "Can I come in? I'll tell you what you want to know."
"Everything?" She asked still not quite believing him.
"Everything."
She still felt angry but her curiosity had gotten the better of her and she stepped aside to let him through. As he brushed she caught a whiff of his cologne.
"Where's Sophia, is she at IRL?"
"No, she's out with Yeager." So that explained why he had taken off like that as soon as Catherine had announced that they could go home earlier. He was likely going to go get ready for his date, Tommy thought.
She sat down on the couch and gestured for him to take a seat, she had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation. Wordlessly he sat down across from her and closed his eyes as if steeling himself. She waited expectantly knowing he would say something eventually. It didn't take long.
"I'm in danger."
She felt jolted. She wasn't exactly sure what she had expected him to confess but it hadn't been that. Sure, he was a cop and he was always putting his life on the line. That was part of the job, but something in his voice told her that this danger was different, it was imminent, worse.
"From?" she prompted.
"Bubonic."
This was much worse than she had thought. He was studying her face as if to see how she would react to the news. "How do you know this? Are you sure?"
Tommy laughed bitterly, "He said that I was going to pay dearly for killing his girlfriend and that I was going to regret the day I was born. I'm really not sure how much clearer he could have been." He shrugged as if it were no big deal to hide the fact he was scared. Tommy Calligan was actually scared. He didn't believe in the boogeyman, but Bubonic came pretty close. Lindy looked at him the concern obvious on her face as if she could read him and maybe she could, it made him feel just a little bit better.
He told her everything, from Catherine's phone call that morning to the FBI agents coming in to investigate. She never once interrupted. When he was done it was quiet for a while. All they could hear were the faint sounds of street traffic coming from outside and the droplets of rain hitting the windowpanes. It had started to rain.
"I had no idea," Lindy said quietly. "That's why you were late today and why you were so distracted." She said it as a statement rather than a question. Tommy nodded. "I had no idea," she repeated. "I just made things worse by blowing up at you like that. I'm sorry," she said finally looking up at him. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, he hadn't come here to make her feel bad.
"It's fine."
"No," she said shaking her head. "It's not. I overreacted. It's just that I thought you were hiding something from me again and it made me angry, but why keep this from me?"
He shrugged. "I just didn't want you to worry or have anything else on you mind, you've seem pretty preoccupied yourself lately." She thought back to what he had shouted at her in the gym. "I know that something's bothering you, but you keep shutting me out." He was right, but she didn't want to admit that. "You still could have told me."
Tommy didn't want to argue. "You're right I should have. It's just that this time I wasn't hiding something that affected you. I'm the one in danger, not you and while we're talking about it, I shouldn't have kept Operation Magnifly a secret from you either, but after I got to know you more and we became friends I didn't want to ruin that." Lindy was shocked. She hadn't expected Tommy to explain himself about this.
"Before, it was just a job for me. I was blinded by trying to catch Bubonic, but what I told you was true. It was before I really knew you. Before I knew what you were really like and you weren't just Lindy Sampson case file 20149 or my best friend's girlfriend. You were Lindy Sampson the girl I could trust. I got scared. I didn't want to lose you. I realize that's not an excuse for not telling you the truth, but that's my reason for doing it. If you asked me to do it now I wouldn't even dream of it." He paused to catch his breath. He looked at her. She didn't look angry, just a little sad. "I'm sorry, Lindy. I really am, for everything."
The tablet was gripped in her hands like a life preserver. Tommy held his breath waiting for her to say something.
"Thank you. For telling me. I needed to know. I accept your apology and I do forgive you, Tommy." She looked up at him, "But I can't lie to you and tell you that I trust you yet. I still feel hurt about it." She realized during his speech that she meant more to him than she had ever realized. She could tell he was genuinely sorry and that he genuinely cared about her. She knew she was being unfair, but she had been lied to so often that this was going to take time to get over. She just needed time.
He nodded understanding. He hadn't expected her to forgive him, but he needed her to know his side of the story.
"Can I ask you something?" she asked him.
"Sure."
"Why does Bubonic keep saying that you killed his girlfriend? He calls you murderers, why?"
Tommy went still. He really should have expected this question considering what they were talking about, but it still caught him off guard. He didn't really want to tell her. What would she think? It was an ugly part of his past, of his job, his life, but looking into those chocolate eyes that made him melt whenever he looked into them he found that he couldn't not tell her. He exhaled slowly.
"We've been trying to catch Bubonic for a long time now." He began, leaning forward. "You know as well as anyone what a dangerous criminal he is. He's manipulative and he likes to instill fear in people. You saw how at the Reconnoiter party at IRL it was all just a game to him. People were getting hurt and he didn't care." Tommy stopped trying to control the rising anger he felt inside him. Lindy looked at him anxiously, but said nothing. She still had a death grip on the tablet although Tommy doubted she noticed.
"About a year and a half ago," he began. "A few months before we found out about you, we were trying to find a way to get someone on the inside of The Outliers when a woman walked into the precinct and demanded to speak to the person in charge. She looked scared, but there was a determination about her. Catherine brought her into her office along with Ben and me. The woman told us she had worked for Bubonic from the very beginning, before he turned evil, helping him hack into what he needed. She was rather high up on the totem pole. However, she didn't know Bubonic's real identity or what he looked like because he always wears that stupid bird mask. He never revealed even to his lackeys who he really was and I guess it's with good reason considering she wanted to turn him in." He paused.
"Her name was Amanda Green." He said the name as if it pained him to say it and Lindy got the feeling that Amanda hadn't met with a good end. "In the beginning she had thought that Bubonic was brilliant but she slowly realized that he had turned into a monster. He was getting into more destructive projects, into things that could hurt innocent people. She didn't want to work for Bubonic anymore, she wanted him to go to jail and pay for the things he'd done, but she wanted to walk away free.
"So we made a deal with her. We'd keep her identity a secret so Bubonic or anyone else who was loyal to him wouldn't know what she'd done and she wouldn't get charged for any of the things she had been involved with while working for him. In return she would give us solid proof on things we needed on Bubonic, where Bubonic's headquarters was, and she would give us a lead on his identity. Amanda didn't know who he was and there was no way that Bubonic was going to tell her, but she knew someone who did."
"His girlfriend." He looked up at Lindy in surprise. He didn't know she'd known that, but her face was carefully neutral giving nothing away.
"Yes, his girlfriend. Her name was Melanie Saunders. Bubonic never told Amanda that was his girlfriend but Amanda could tell since Melanie was always dropping by and she and Bubonic always went off alone together. He never revealed Melanie's name in front of the other hackers, but Amanda heard it by chance one day when she was walking outside a room they had gone into. I had a suspicion that Amanda liked Bubonic and was jealous of his girlfriend and that's why she was helping us, but I never confirmed it. We tailed Melanie and found out where she lived and what places she liked to frequent, then we made our move." Tommy paused. Lindy knew that he was getting to the bad part, the reason why Bubonic was out to get him.
"We caught her as she was leaving her apartment and brought her down to the Unit where Ben and I interrogated her. We wanted to know who Bubonic was, where he lived, his past, everything. At first she claimed that she didn't know who we were talking about, but eventually we got her to admit that she was his girlfriend. I thought we were making some progress, but then she clammed up, she didn't want to betray him." Tommy's eyes were far off as if he were there in the interrogation room watching himself.
"I got angry. I told her that Bubonic was a monster who didn't care about anybody and that he only cared about himself. I could see that I was getting to her, hurting her. Ben was trying to calm me down and tried the good cop approach, but she wouldn't budge." Tommy sighed. "We were there for hours. I didn't see that she was withdrawing more and more into herself but Ben did and was telling me to back off but I couldn't. I wanted to catch the monster. I told her that if Bubonic was the one being questioned he would have turned her in without a second thought. She screamed that I was a liar and that he loved her and would never do that to her. I lost it. I yelled back, I threated her saying that she would go to jail for withholding information and helping Bubonic. Ben had finally had enough and dragged me out of the interrogation room. He went back in to talk to her alone but eventually gave up. She never even told us his real name.
"We put her in a holding cell for the night and we were going to continue with the interrogation the next day." Tommy put his head in his hands and looked up at her. Lindy could clearly see the guilt in his eyes.
"Tommy you don't have to tell me this much."
"It's okay, I want to. I need to." He continued. "I went to go get her the next morning and I found her in her cell…she had hung herself." He said the last past so softly that she had to strain herself to hear. She could only imagine the desperation and fear that Melanie must have felt that drove her to do what she did, but she must have known they weren't actually going to hurt her, Lindy thought. "I yelled for Ben and he was as horrified as I was if not more." Lindy could clearly see the image as if she were there that day. She could see Melanie hanging in her cell, Tommy's horror stricken face, and Ben rushing to see what was going on. "He helped me get her down, but there was nothing more we could do for her, she was dead.
"I didn't kill her, but I think I pushed her too hard. I was out of line. Even Ben thought so. Maybe she didn't want us to try to get any more information out of her and she thought that the only way for that to happen was to make sure she never had anything to say again. Maybe she thought that I was right and she couldn't stand the thought of Bubonic betraying her. I'll never know and I can never apologize for what I did."
"Oh, Tommy," she couldn't think of anything better to say.
"Bubonic didn't find out until it was too late. Somehow, he found out that Amanda was involved. We have no idea how maybe she slipped up and said something." Tommy swallowed. "He killed her."
Tommy sat back in the armchair. "And now you know why Bubonic is after me. He has a grudge against the whole Cyber Crimes Unit, but it's mostly directed at me and Ben because we were the officers interrogating Melanie, but now that Ben's gone he's only after me." It was quiet for a while Tommy having finished and maybe even reliving the terrible memories. "Do you think that it's your fault?" Lindy asked quietly.
Tommy looked up at the ceiling and sighed. "I don't know what to think. I admit that I did push her too hard. But the reason that ultimately pushed Melanie to make her decision I'll never know. But I do know that I can't let guilt keep taking over my life, dwelling on the past, torturing myself with the what ifs. One can drive themselves crazy doing that. But if I don't get past them I can never live a normal life, I can't look to the future." The words hit Lindy hard because that was exactly what she was letting herself do. She was always torturing herself with the what ifs of Sara's abduction. There had been odds working against her that night that hadn't allowed her to reach Sara on time, it had been out of her control. "Can I ask you something now?"
Lindy nodded. It seemed like this was going to be a night full of confessions. "What's that?" Tommy asked pointing his chin toward the tablet Lindy had clutched in her hands. She had completely forgotten about it. She was hesitant to tell him, but he had told her everything she had wanted to know and more. There was no reason to keep the tablet a secret and she suddenly felt terrified to see what was in the tablet alone.
"Jake gave this to me."
Tommy froze. "When?" Then a thought struck him. "You were holding it at the train station and on the ride over to the hospital the day we arrested Jake." She nodded. His stomach twisted a little at the thought of her still having something that Jake had given her or had once belonged to him. "What's in it?"
Lindy bit her lip. "In it is supposed to be everything that he managed to find out about Sara." Tommy's eyebrows were in danger of disappearing into his hairline.
"Did he-?" He stopped when he saw the expression on Lindy's face. "What's wrong?"
She looked down. "I actually don't know what's in it. I haven't looked yet," she mumbled. This surprised Tommy. It was unlike Lindy. Sara was her one true weakness. She was always tracking down whatever leads she could find on her. And in her hands was supposed to be the biggest lead of all and she hadn't looked at it yet.
"Lindy, look at me," he said softly. She did slowly and found herself trapped in his gaze. "I want you to know that whatever's in there I will help you with it."
"It's just that I'm scared at what I'll find." Tommy knew it was hard for her to admit that.
"Do you want to look?" She nodded. "Do it. I'll be right here with you."
Her hand hovered over the power button but then dropped back down. "I can't."
He got up and sat down right beside her, his arm against hers. "You can," he told her and gently took her hand. "We'll do it together." It flashed him back to when Lindy was undercover at the hospital. He hadn't been able to do what he needed to do to get that chip that could save hundreds of lives. Lindy had taken his hand and given him the strength he needed. He wanted to lend her the same strength now that she had lent him then.
Together they pushed the power button. There was only one file in the whole tablet labeled: Sara. They clicked on it.
Lindy took a deep breath. On the screen an image of an empty parking lot came up. It looked like it had been taken from a security camera. "What is this?" Tommy wondered aloud. Lindy shrugged, her eyes roaming down to a numeration on the bottom right of the screen, Tommy's eyes followed. He realized that it was a date and time. "Is that-?"
"This video was taken on the night that Sara disappeared," Lindy said breathlessly. There was a movement on the screen and a van came into view. Lindy knew that van anywhere. It haunted her in her nightmares. "That's it!" she exclaimed. "That's the van that Sara was taken in." The side door to the van opened and a girl came out.
It was Sara.
She closed the door and the van drove away. Lindy sucked in a breath. "She's alive," she whispered trying to contain her excitement although she was thoroughly confused. She'd never felt like Sara was dead and here was proof that she wasn't wrong. Suddenly another car pulled up behind Sara and a boy rushed out.
Lindy immediately recognized him. It was Sara's old boyfriend. On the screen they hugged and kissed. "Now we'll be safe. Now, Lindy will be safe," her sister said before the video ended.
Tommy looked over at Lindy who was completely still, she didn't even seem to be breathing. How does one react to the news that the loved one you thought was taken from you is not only alive but is not being held against her will like you had thought all these years?
"Lindy?"
She stood up suddenly letting the tablet clatter to the floor. Without a backward glance she ran out of the apartment.
"Lindy!" Tommy called, but she kept running. He swore and ran after her. Outside it was raining hard and fast creating puddles that reflected the streetlights everywhere. He looked both left and right but he couldn't see Lindy anywhere. "Damn it!" he yelled and scrambled into his car figuring he could cover ground faster that way, she couldn't have gotten very far. He decided to go left.
She was running blindly, the raindrops stinging her face. She didn't know where she was going and she didn't care as long as she got away from them. The ground was slick with rainwater and her feet kept sliding, but she kept running, knowing they were closing in on her and it was only a matter of time before they reached her. But she was so tired of fighting them.
All these years, her sister was alive, but she obviously didn't want to be found. A choked sob escaped her. Her tears were mixing with the rain making the world in front of her turn into a colored blur. She ran into an alleyway and fell to her knees. She felt like a leaf in a river being carried away by the swift current. She was finally letting herself feel, but the world was spinning and she couldn't get a foothold anymore, everything was washing over her at once.
She finally let her demons come and get her.
Tommy was looking both left and right trying to catch sight of Lindy. He had his window open despite the rain in case he heard her. He drove past an alley when he thought he heard something. He slammed on the breaks and backed up, not bothering to check behind him for cars since the street was deserted. He peered into the gloomy darkness and could barely make out the shape of a kneeling figure, then he heard the sound again. It was a tortured sound and he knew who was making it. He had heard it once before from her when she had discovered Ben had been killed. It was the only time he had ever seen her become undone. He killed the ignition and rushed out of the car.
"Lindy!" he called, running toward her. The heart wrenching sobs that were racking her body were clearer now. She was kneeled on the wet ground with her arms wrapped around herself as if to keep herself from falling apart. It tore at Tommy to see her like this and he knew that this had more to do with than just Sara. Sara had only been the last straw, he knew something had been bothering her but he didn't think it would lead to this.
He was now standing in front of her. He could see that she was completely soaked, not that she seemed to care. He took off his leather jacket and draped it over her shoulders. He had a hoody underneath although he knew it wasn't going to keep him dry for long. He crouched down in front of her. "Lindy, are you okay? C'mon we gotta get you somewhere dry," he said tugging on her arm trying to get her to stand up.
"No," she jerked her arm away. "I want to stay here, just go away. I want to be alone."
"No. You've been alone with your feelings for too long. I'm not leaving you like this."
She looked at him with some of her old fire in her eyes although he could see it was a little dimmed. "Just go, Tommy. Leave me here," she managed to say before another sob escaped her.
He crouched down and gently took her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him. He could see it all there. The fear, the anger, the guilt, and above all a sense of hopelessness that he would never associate with Lindy. "Lindy," he could hear the concern in his own voice. "Please tell what's wrong."
She was so tired of keeping it all in that the words tumbled out before she could stop them. "Everything," she cried. "It's just too much." She dissolved into tears again. He sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her while she cried into his shoulder. He knew that he shouldn't be this close to her that he needed to keep her at a distance, but the need to protect her was too strong. Even if it was from herself. "Let's start at the beginning," he told her gently when her crying had died down.
Sara had always been the beginning for her so she started there. "I couldn't get to her on time," she said miserably. "I've been trying to find her for almost four years now. Following dead end leads and driving myself crazy with how I could have prevented her from getting kidnapped, but it was all just for show, it was all just a lie," she said, anger replacing the hopelessness in her voice. "All these years and she never once reached out to me, even just to tell me that she was okay. I didn't even know for sure if she was alive. Do you have any idea how that feels?"
He didn't. All he could do was tighten his arms around her and try to comfort her. "Do you have any idea what she was trying to keep you safe from?" Tommy asked quietly.
"I don't know. I was always the one trying to keep her safe. So much that she thought I was smothering her sometimes."
"I know that the way she handled things wasn't fair to you. To have you think all these years that she had been kidnapped while you just watched helplessly..." He trailed off he was actually angry at how Sara had made Lindy suffer for so long but he was trying to make sense of it, at least for Lindy's sake. "She must have thought that someone was after her who would be after you too. She thought that she had to leave to keep you safe, but not just by running away, that would have been different. She made it seem like she had been kidnapped because she needed to make sure that you wouldn't be able to follow her. She needed to leave in a way that you wouldn't be able to find her and so far it's worked."
"I just wish she had trusted me enough with her secret," Lindy said miserably.
"It was probably better that you never knew in case anyone ever came around to ask about her. If you thought that she had been kidnapped, you'd have no way to tell anyone where she was because you don't know." It seemed like Sara had it all planned out. He had to give her credit for this master plan and would try to not judge her for what she had done. Hopefully she had a good reason for all the suffering she had caused her older sister.
"I know you're right," Lindy said, then paused. "I can't believe I just said that." Tommy couldn't help but smile. "But it's almost been four years. If only she could have given me a sign that she was okay I'd feel better."
"I promise you we're going to find her," Tommy told her resolutely. Lindy finally pulled away from him and looked at him with a mix of appreciation and wariness.
"I thought cops weren't supposed to make promises?"
"I'm not making it as a cop," he said looking into her eyes. "I'm making it as Tommy."
She smiled and it made Tommy's heart skip a beat. He was happy that he had been able to make her smile despite the situation. "Thank you."
Slowly Tommy's smile faded. "That's not all that's bothering you is it?"
Lindy shook her head. She quickly told him her guilt over everyone Jake had killed before she could talk herself out of it. When she was finally done she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, but Tommy's eyes had grown darker and as she talked. When she was done he said, "I can't believe you actually think that. How could you possibly think that it was all your fault?"
"It is, Tommy! He was after me and he tried to get rid of anyone close to me and if it wasn't for me Ben would have never been at that apartment, he would have never died." She was close to tears again, but she held them back.
"You can't know that for sure, Lindy. You called Ben to the apartment because you thought your best friend was in danger. Don't you see that Jake was manipulating you from the very beginning? He was taking advantage of your goodness. Absolutely nobody blames you for what happened because we know it's not your fault. Why would it be your fault that a stalker chose you as a target? It's horrible stuff that happens that you have no control over. So please I'm telling you. Stop blaming yourself. It. Is. Not. Your. Fault," he enunciated the last sentence to make sure it stuck. "Okay?"
She looked away, not trusting herself to speak. Tommy turned her face to him with the palm of his hand. "Lindy, answer me." She looked into his hazel eyes and saw something there. It was faith and hope. For her. She knew in her heart that he was right. She thought back to what he had said at her apartment earlier that night. I can't let guilt keep taking over my life, dwelling on the past, torturing myself with the what if. If I don't get past them I can never live a normal life I can't look to the future. She looked at him and smiled and Tommy knew that she was going to be
"Okay."