Kapter 4: politicks
(a/n: surry 4 takin sow long i was to busy breathing but now im dun so i mayd this; hope u like)
un day wenstin was sittin in front of his desck an crying
ted heard le sads and cam throu the door
"why u sadd" seld ted
"i red a sad stori" sad winston "ist called trucy cries by ace meninist"
"oh yea i raed that stori two its very sad" ted sed
"ye"
"well i no what can make u happi… POLTITICS!" ted yeled
"omg ur wright lets do that" sead winstom
and then they went to the politics place
but on there way there there there was a thing
"WOW LOOK A THING" thay said
and they kept goin to the politics place
but then they saw 3 peples doin stuff
it was kay the hedghog and miles (prower) the fox and gumshoe the enchilada
"omg hey cravat dude" seyd winston "wat u doin"
"were doig a incestigashon pal" gumshoe the ekidna sid
"oh cool" syd winst
"where u going" seid edgeworth the fox
"were goin to politics place" sey ted
"oh cool can wii join mr. edgeworth plz" sailed kay
"no" said miles
"aww im sad" said sad
"fuk u mr edswith were going aniways" seb gumshu
"fine. ill catch up latter" say edgewort
and then they went to politics place
and there was a veri veryi verily verre veery verri big adience lookint at the stage, witch had two podiums
quercus alba and paul atishon went up to de twu podiems
and then sum dude came on to the sstage with microphon
"hello my name is topic dude and welcum to politics! today we hav two peepl fasin off four president of japanifornia! who will win?!"
"topic 1: what do you think of the Ace attorni series" said the topic dude
Paul Atishon: "JFA, AA, and DD bad"
*everione in the audiens booed*
Quercus Alba: "Is this man some kind of hate machine ?
I'm the type of guy who enjoys series as a whole. Before I met Paul Atishon, I didn't know JFA, AJ and DD were supposed to be bad, and oh man am I constantly remembered about it. I think he clearly lacks a vast amount of suspension of disbelief. This part of the game is wacky ? This part of the plot relies on a lucky event ? This vilain isn't the most perfect vilain ever made and is just someone who killed someone ? Wow, BIG FUCKING DEAL.
If he's willing to play a super serious game, he should go read Phoenix Drive or something. If he dosen't accept that some event could not happen without a fair amount of luck, and if he only accepts murder plans that would work in absolutely 100% of situations, then crime plots would be extremely bland and limited. The culprit made an error that is not found out until later in the investigation ? Man, who could have thought that the police isn't omniscient.
And finally, about the vilains... I think he just picked the wrong series. Personally, and it is also what my AA fan friends think, I believe that he can't seriously be into this game to have 100% perfect murder writing, so great that it would work perfectly in real life. I play this game for his unique characters, wacky and over the top murder plots, humoristic moments, etc. And I believe that Paul Atishon, someone who doesn't accept that Ace Attorney IS about those things, should just stop playing. He hated AJ and DD ? I think it's time he stops buying the games before he gets into another rage fit when Investigations 3 comes out.
Anyway, what I mean is, it's fine if he doesn't like some games, but sometimes by listening to him I seriously think that he doesn't even like 1/3 of the series. Why the FUCK is he here in the Ace Attorney universe if he can't even enjoy the games ? He should just move to another. Then again, my rant is not about saying "if you don't like it, get out", that's not what I'm saying at all. I don't like some part of the games myself, and he probably dislikes even more. My rant is about the fact that he can't accept what Ace Attorney is actually about, or what it is becoming. Seriously, I could point out stupid shit that happened in his favorite cases and he wouldn't even realize how stupid it is because he still liked it. So Paul Atishon, please stop hating everything that you can't accept."
everyone in the audience cheered and clapped
"what an amagzin spineech" sed ted and he shed a singul tear
"yea same" sehd winston
"yea same" sehd gumshoe
"yea same" sehd kay
"yea same" sehd larry butz, who was also in the audiense
"topic 2: wats the best bevrege" said the topic dude
Paul Atishon: "veggitable"
everiom=ne was booing agen
"EW VEGGIES SUCK THEY TASTE LIKE VEGGIES" showted robin newman from the adience
then it was albas turn
Quercus Alba: melted ice is best bervage
everyone was clappin and hapi
"what an amagzin spineech" sed ted and he shed a singul tear
"yea same" sehd winston
"yea same" sehd gumshoe
"yea same" sehd kay
"yea same" sehd larry
"yea same" sehd joe darke, who was also in the audiense
"topic tres: hoq shud we enfurse the law ?" said the topic dude
Paul Atishon: " make perjury illegal"
and peple were mad and yelling agen
"NO FUK U WE SHOUD BE ALLUED TO LYE IN CORT" yeled mike mekins from audiense
then it was albas turn
Quercus Alba: "extraterritorial rights"
evereun cheared
"what an amagzin spineech" sed ted and he shed a singul tear
"yea same" sehd winston
"yea same" sehd gumshoe
"yea same" sehd kay
"yea same" sehd larry
"yea same" sehd joe
"yea same" sehd phineas filch, who was also in the audiense
"topic foor: say funni joke" said the topic dude
Paul Ashiton: updated autopsy report
the audinense all growned from bad joke
"THATS NOT FUNNE" screechd de dgs knife jurur from de adense
then it was albas turn
Quercus Alba: updated autopsy report
and evere1 laufed so hard thet all the windows in a trillion milr radeis turned into the laufing mouth troll sound effekt from mario baker
Paul Ashiton: wait butt u say same as me
Quercus Alba: no. i did it ironically so its have many more funnis.
"what an amagzin spineech" sed ted and he shed a singul tear
"yea same" sehd winston
"yea same" sehd gumshoe
"yea same" sehd kay
"yea same" sehd larry
"yea same" sehd joe
"yea same" sehd phineas
"yea same" sehd moe, who was also in the audiense
"PAL ATISHIT SUCKS! PAL ATISHIT SUCKS!" chanted peppele
they waer throwin stuff ats him leyek tomatos and tubas and cars and lava lamps
"aaaaaa" sed laul and he hid behend podum
quercus was gona be wenner and evrion was happis
the topic dude say: "I declar the winner two be..."
"OBJECTION!"
and then the camera did that thing where it cuts to images of people reacting suprised
it cutt to witston, then tedd, then topic dude, then moe, then joe, then pineas, then cumshoe, then kae
AND THEN IT SHOWED EDGWITRH
"This is it. My final chance to take down Quercus Alba! I can't waste this opportunity I've been given!"
"noooooo wat ur doin pal" sae gumsue
"you cant bee presedent Quercus Alba!" yellelld edgy
and all de peples were mads
"mistr eggworth stop !" shoted kay
then edgwart said "you cant be presdent….. becus first we must had down to Godot Cafe and get sum coffee to kelebrate ur victry! I've even gotten reservations for everyone here except paul atishon lol"
and then audiens was supriced
"wait what i thot te reasun u wer stayin behind waz to do investigashing becus ur boring" said kay
"no" said edgeworth "i can do cool stuff too" and he put on cool person glases
"wow thancks edge" sayayd everyune in unison and they all was happi and went down to godot cafe to drink cofie
ecpept paul ashtishon
"ill get mu reveng sumday" he vowed "somdae…."
(a/n:)