Chapter 9: Ellie's question, Tyson's introspection.
Ellie's birthday arrived falling on a Monday, just reviving from the weekend. Ashlene bought cake from her mere earnings and though she was fully busy with college soon starting up as this was her third year, she managed to help at house with birthday preparations. Julia corporates fully, after, seeing how the brunette fought against even for sleeping. Her schedule changed and sometimes weren't even properly scheduled and her affiliated hospital for work out was also quite far from her home college.
Julia decorated the hall and brought a cute frock for Ellie as her present. Raul gifted her small Bracelet. Ashlene felt bad that she couldn't bring anything for her daughter but she somehow managed to buy a small cute ring for her, the royal blue color adding to her majestic beauty. Ellie always called herself the better ones than her mom and Julia.
"My hair is the best. They aren't easily seen around." She used to brag cutely. With her fair skin and same colored eyes like her mom, she looked splendid. Sometimes Julia worried how this girl would be one good at flirting, troubling all the guys. Ashlene then quickly retorts saying that all the guys aren't stupid.
Ellie giggles hearing them, personally the little girl find no attraction towards the being of the opposite sex.
Ellie wore her casual new jeans and a full sleeved green top, she being way too happy for all the importance she is receiving today. Ashlene arrived tired at nine in evening after a tedious day and managed to help Ellie with her dressing. Though she is extremely tired, she tries not to lash out at her daughter, and keep her anger in check.
Ashlene lies on her bed straight with her hands wide away from her head and guides Ellie about all the accessories that the girl demands.
"Why aren't you getting dressed up, mom?" she asks combing her hair.
"Simply, I'm very much tired." Ashlene said feebly,
"Oh. Do you want me to iron your clothes?" Ashlene smirks at the offer of her daughter but nods a no.
"If you want my cosmetics, its-"
"I'm okay with this. I hate those foundation, compact and lipstick. It's boring and foolish!" Ellie says coolly,
"Oh really, well, you already are much pretty today," Ashlene smiles,
"Thanks." Ellie smiles back adorably. She blinks and reads her mom, "Can I ask you something?" she says casually,
"Ask, Ell,"
"Promise you won't be upset,"
"Hmm, fine,"
"Sure?"
"Yeah yeah!"
"Did my real da'dda hurt you?" she asks. Ashlene almost springs out of the bed hearing this and stares at Ellie, "Who taught you the concepts of fathers!" she barks,
Ellie shrugs, her composure cool, "No one particular, just the cartoon anime,"
Ashlene sighs but still is holding Ellie's shoulders weakly, she bows down her head, "Real da'dda was a good guy, but something happened to him and he became a bad guy." Ashlene explains.
"Oh, and then?" Ellie's eyes widens,
"Nothing, we fought and I left your da'dda," Ashlene says with weak sigh,
"Alright,"
"Do you want to go back to him?" Ashlene asked with perturbation growing inside her,
"Nope, I just want to see him once, if you allow me" Ellie says carefully,
"Sorry, I can't." Ashlene kisses her daughter on cheek, "I'm a very bad mom, Ell, but I really want you to give a very good life. I'm not doing much for you. All your needs are fulfilled because Aunt Julia is working. Never in your whole life hurt her, never. Always take care of her even if I'm not there," Ashlene says deeply,
"Okay," Ellie seems a little worried and burdened,
"If you want to stay with your real dad, Ell, I will send you to him but you won't be happy there, as what I think. It will be complicated for me to live without you and you can't be comfortable much there. He will accept you but I won't stay with him. That's the condition. It's up to you whether you want to choose him or us…" Ashlene says clearly and dearly,
Ellie doesn't answer and seems to be thinking. Ashlene is hurt by her silence and her heart is throbbing in fear, "I am with you." She replies but her expressions are solemn. Ashlene sighs but still is very much scared.
"Did da'dda become my real dad because you married him?" Ellie ask unsure of her question,
"It doesn't require marriage necessarily," Ashlene shrugs,
They hear Raul and Julia calling for the cake, and taking photos, and all.
"Can you…" Ellie hesitates, "Can you marry Raul?"
"Ash! Come dude! The cake will melt down!" Raul calls as he opens the door.
"Coming Raul!" Ashlene says suddenly, her face scared as if she saw a vampire,
"What's wrong? You looked like I scared the daylights outta ya!" he chuckles,
"Nothing," Ashlene shrugs and Ellie sighs fearfully. Raul wraps an arm around her and smiles. She smiles back unsurely, a feeling of protection there.
The mother and daughter exchange silent words before they come out. Though Ashlene has been active in cutting cake and all the aftermath enjoyment, her mind still lingered on that one question that Ellie asked,
What should I say her? I can't marry Raul. He is more like friend to me. I seriously don't love him lik-
"Ash! Be careful!" Ashlene blinked and within seconds, her face has been creamed up,
"Julia!" she shouts and the girls spend the rest of the cream creaming each other's face and even Raul's hair.
The birthday goes smooth and Ellie finally falls asleep. The trio cleans up the mess before they go dead tired to their beds.
What should I answer you, Ellie? She wondered about Ellie's unanswered question.
The young mother sighs as she thinks about the questions her daughter asked. Ashlene has no idea of what she wants to do. Till now, she never thought of any second marriage. Actually, she could never forget about him still. She still misses him and wishes if one day he would ask for her forgiveness. She is not sure if she will readily forgive him or ever but she longs for such thing to happen.
Marrying Raul…the thoughts seem to cut through her veins and leave a stinging guilt if she ever would do. His face with sad solemn expressions come in her mind and the sight in her mind is enough for her to never forgive her own self if she ever did any such thing.
"I'd never cheat you. I can't believe you are doubtful of me, you doubt me, my love for you…" he smiled in nostalgia and looked utterly crushed and crestfallen, tears threatening to spill any second if he blinked even for once.
"I hate you! You cheated me! I saw it! How can you lie so…"
"What did I do…" he hiccupped audibly, she unknowingly wept bitterly," What did I do to get us to this point…that it leads to me loosing you in this moment." He said with light shakiness," his face streaming with unrolled tears.
She finds it very hard to trust his words. He had cheated her. He would never do such intimate acts with his just friend if he truly loved Ashlene. The scene passes through her mind and she groans in disgust. Feeling she shouldn't think anymore, she closes her eyes, her own eyes welling up,
She picks her phone and open her gallery, and browsing it quite down, she clicks on a few pictures, in which they are grinning at each other, smiling serenely, making funny faces, a few of his own pics she had taken while he was sleeping or working in his room. She attempted to delete them many times but somehow just left them wherever they were. She closed her phone and put it on the side table.
She felt light–hearted and weightless as she closed her eyes, looking at his beautiful daughter lying next to her. Wonder how much stupid I'm. Fuck, Ash, how can you miss him after what all happened! He never even called or texted you once though you never blocked him anywhere.
She felt her body heating up uncomfortably; she sighs and wraps her blanket tugging Ellie closer to her and trying to be dead for some time.
.
.
.
Ryu was better than before. His coughing had stopped a few months back and he was properly recovering. Tyson took care of his Grandpa better and always talked to the old man about anything so as he would talk back and he would be convinced that the old man isn't heavy at heart. Tyson prepared breakfast for him and sometimes missed his own when time wouldn't suffice to prepare anything for himself,
He would lie and leave in hurry telling that he had already eaten or grabbed in lunch. If he was lucky, he would have some money and he would buy something. He sometimes wished if there was some professional future in blading so that all of them could have pursued easily in it. Many of the times, he wanted to work anywhere and earn some money, but then there are his demons that yell and scare him by telling that how awkward it would be for a champion to work for some earning. He knew that this was just mere thoughts and stupid self-contradictions but he couldn't drive them away. Moreover Grandpa never asked him to work, so he never faced much self-argumentation.
Grandpa still got up early and broke the logs that would be brought to him. It was easy for him like nothing affected his skills.
The boys stayed quiet for most of the times. The dinners and lunches would be the only time they would gather at one table for eating. Many of the times, Ryu wasn't with them. He ate in his room- the reason, his timings usually altered.
Since there were quite of months before the date of the Beyblade Tournament would be announced, they would practice for just an hour or so and spend the rest of time in studying seriously. Later, they would be busy in training and would be missing their classes in case the Tournament doesn't coincide with their college vacation.
Tyson could feel that there was something that definitely lacked in his life, in all of their lives, but the only thing was that they seem to be perfectly okay with it. He knows deep inside his heart, they don't like him; they are somehow being repelled by his demeanor and achievements.
He is currently working on his latest allotted project class-wise and is doing some research through a few books he had brought from library, arranging files in his folder and gathering a few tools. As he doing it, there are subconscious things and interrogations lingering in his mind.
Was it so wrong to defend that title? Was it so wrong to love her? Was it so wrong to secure that percentile? Why do they don't like me… If something is wrong with me, what does staying with me means? Why did they remain my friend years back? We had fun. We laughed; we battled like friends, not as rivals. I feel as if I'm living within a house where its members want me to be ruined.
He reads again the concepts of 'Accounting and control of cost labor', his one hand holding the side of book and other hand in whose palms is his face resting.
Kai and Ray have been extremely distant to him. He tried talking with them but their curt demeanor and answers and uninterested attitudes made him to leave them on their own. He seriously doesn't want them to tell to leave his house just because of their behavior. He can't force them to be good with him.
He wasn't his own immature self. He did works, ran errands, sometimes even cooked for them, and took care of them when they were sick, though it was a rarity. But after all he has done, he at least doesn't deserve such attitudes of them. All of it seems like nothing. Silently, he is the one who suffers it. Grandpa doesn't notice this, their dislikes for him.
Tyson never confided anything about such matters to Ryu and the poor man was so oblivious to this happening to his own Grandson. He just seemed to see the good in all of them.
Max stopped eating lunch with him at college, didn't smile at him when he passed by, gave that boring and unwanted expression to his presence and practically hurt him in all the teensiest way possible. Max was on his way of being aloof. He occasionally talked to Tyson, so that things wouldn't become suddenly fragile.
Things began to clear up to him. These guys whom he considered as brothers and friends are actually those who don't want to see him and his presence is disgusting for them. Lunches weren't the same. They ate separately. Everything seemed to be falling apart and by the will of their own; and there was nothing that he could do to keep it okay.
Tyson talked to Ryu whenever he felt isolated and distressed. He would talk about his day and everything, not particularly about his teammates. Ryu had silent ways of easing the burdens and fears of the blunette.
Everything became too monotonous and cliché. The same regular silent rejections of his presence, ignorance to his talks, light comments as if he had done some big sin. He was tired of being tired. There was nothing he could do and it often hurt him. He sometimes wished to directly talk to them- Ray and Kai and ask the reasons of their displeasure.
Was there something he had really done wrong to them?
What was it that everyone got away from him? Why he was bitterly and silently punished for? First his mom, then slowly his dad, and then fate took Hiro away from him. Hilary was one good friend who also parted with time-the girl was serious about her studies and career. Though she remains extensively busy with projects and her medical studies, she manages to talk to him once in a while. She left him too anyway; and then was her, who came into his life like a blessing and happiness and then she was gone too, and that was the thing that hurt him the most. And now, it seems like his friends will be leaving him soon. He will have his grandpa who never left his side and always took care of him. He will be there, and only him.
Sometimes Tyson felt guilty of a few times when he was rude in his childish manner to his Grandpa and did lot of defiance towards his works and duties and perhaps hurt him.
"Grandpa, are you okay?" he asked after a few minutes when he notices after long standing that the old man stirred from his sleep,
"Yeah, I'm okay," he smiled,
"Good, I made some boiled noodles for you, chicken ones. I'm not sure that the are tas-"
"Ah, no problem, bring it! T-man is learning, I don't have any problem dude," Grandpa said in a light tone with cheerfulness ever,
"Sure," Tyson smiled heartily and rushed to boil the soup once again. He noticed Kai making some green tea for himself. He ignored his presence. Tyson knew that there was no point in trying anything. Right now, his mind focused on boiling the semi-hot soup,
He rushed back to the room carefully, and placed the small bowl on the side table.
"Haha, smells delicious!" Grandpa laughed,
"I really hope so," Tyson said meekly,
Tyson stood quiet and noted how carefully and cautiously his Grandpa was devouring his soup. He didn't ask about how it was. He simply didn't. Ryu was careful not even to spill a teensy bit of it even in old age. He was way too perfect and still strong. After he was done, he sighed contently and placed back the bowl,
"So, was it edible?" Tyson chuckled hesitantly,
"Yeah," Ryu winked and gave thumbs up.
Tyson nodded and looked down, his eyes showing his state- crushed by sadness.
"Hn?" Ryu raised an eyebrow,
"Everything okay dude?"
"I am sorry." Tyson said in a low voice.
Ryu blinked and didn't say anything, confused mentally but he stared.
"I haven't been the best grandson to you. I probably hurt you so many times by my loud mouth and snide remarks. Perhaps it's that's why I face the consequences of my deeds now." He said lowly. There was nothing that could be heard. The room was killed with quietude and deafened by silence.
Ryu still didn't say anything and was listening to Tyson carefully. Tyson wasn't finished and receiving no response, he silently got the cue to pursue his talk,
"I was selfish. I left you. I went away for the tournament even though you were sick. I always troubled you with Kendo practices. I payed no heed for getting or improving good grades. I was reckless and always burdened you. I'm the worst person ever…because good things and satisfaction in life is always achieved by righteous and honest people," Tyson finished, laughing briefly in nostalgia at the last sentence that he said,
Grandpa attempted to get out of his bed and slowly did. Before saying anything, he just hugged Tyson and embraced him. Tyson felt his heart light, as if he felt relieved for being forgiven,
"You aren't my immature Takao anymore. You changed…" Ryu whispered, tears already dotting his lids.
"Why aren't you satisfied with life, Tyson? You've me. Did I fail in completing your needs anywhere? Why are you sad…" Ryu asked wiping his confined tears in eyes and looking courageously at Tyson.
"I'm not sure. I don't feel good," Tyson kept quiet. What was he doing? He can't let this old sick man worry about him. He can't tell how torturous his friends' attitudes have been. This was wrong. Stop,
"I just felt that I should seek your forgiveness," Tyson laughed,
"You're long back forgiven. I'm happy, you learnt so much and quickly. You cook for me, and it's way too tasty. You secured flying marks, what else would I desire from you?" Ryu said softly with smile.
"Thanks," Tyson smiled, "C'mon, you need to sleep. Don't stand here holding me for long," Tyson scolded,
"Y-Yeah, see my legs are aching now," Ryu teased, "These pains are always my friends at night. They go away as the rays of dawn hit the sill," Ryu yawned lightly and closed his eyes,
Tyson closed the lights, "Goodnight, Gramps," he smiled and slightly shut the door. He had still long way for getting a longing sleep from tiredness. He took two hours to complete his charts and folded them carefully before wrapping the in newspapers and tying it with rubber-band.
"I guess I should sleep,"
He grabbed a cup of milk before he slept. He noticed how everyone had already slept. Seeing them so calm and serene, in this moment where they didn't look at him in rejection was so good. He was still happy that they are sleeping soundly.
He tiptoed quietly to his room and witched off the lights.
You know Dragoon, sometimes I really feel bored.
The bit chip glowed. Talk to me then, The ancient beast said in his mind,
"I don't know what this feeling of self-dejection and rejection by them is. It's so weird. I feel like I am wrong somewhere. You are always with me. What's wrong with me, Dragoon?" Tyson said almost interrogating the beast,
Nothing, you've been nowhere wrong. The people around you are wrong.
"I asked for forgiveness to Gramps, he forgave me," Tyson smiled clutching the blade,
I know. Gramps loves you a lot. He knows you are clean and pure at heart.
"Clean?" Tyson gasped, "I don't smoke. I've given up that. My lungs and heart are clean!"
There are troubled souls. They are of different types as far as I've noticed everyone till today when I'm by your side. Your soul is troubled one too, but its positive. You are affected, by pessimism around.
"Seriously? I like what you are saying. Continue," Tyson nodded,
The others souls are also troubled ones but they aren't affected. They have been the cause of sadness to others they have wronged people so their inner demons always curse them and taunt them. They can't be happy and they can't let others be happy, at least those around them.
"I get it now." Tyson mused,
"I guess I'll sleep now. I've to get up early tomorrow." The blunette yawned before he fell into a sleep,
You know, you've never been wrong. It was the people around you who made you do the wrong side of things.
A/N: Thanks to Naina and Beybladetk for reviewing. :D I hope this chapter was fine. I somehow was free today so I thought to post and trust me college is getting too tiring and tedious. I'm doing okay with life. I've convinced myself to shut up many times and just move on. Life's always tiring probably. Writing at least eases your mental affliction. Review guys. ^_^ I hope you're enjoying the story. :D